A/N : Readers, let me tell you this, gear up for the one chapter you all had been waiting to read for umm... almost a year now!

No more hints or chat now, just go read! Hurry! ;)

Happy Reading~

***

West Hollywood, Los Angeles circa 2018

(Guest Bedroom, Fiona Apartment, Unit 102 , 375 N LA Cienega Boulevard)

Manik Malhotra

"Woah, that Navya chic is a certified b*tch I tell you" Soha mumbled darkly,  for the nth time, after hearing about my 'little revelation' that happened before Nandini a couple of hours back in the morning. I sighed, as I stared helplessly at the little screen of my iPad where I could see Soha sitting cross legged on her bed & twirling her tresses & scowling. I smiled a little. There was nothing intimate in what I saw, it was her characteristic behaviour, she did this whenever she was bothered, but the familiarity of it made me miss my home & my people a little. Back in Cairns, I was familiar with everything, everyone, every emotion. I knew what these little actions of my folks meant & similarly they knew me too. Here in LA, as long as I found a little warmth in Nandini's eyes, I was surviving, I could tune out the nostalgia & homesickness, but from this morning, it hit me hard. I felt like the ray of sunshine in the name of Nandini was not falling on me anymore; LA was cold, it was an unknown place & in my heart or heart, I felt lonely after ages.

"Soha...I..I.." I muttered, breaking through Soha's thoughts as she looked back focusing on my face. "Nevermind" I sighed, not finding the right words to say. Ever since I left Nandini in her room & walked back to mine in the early hours of the morning, I had stayed inside. It must be around breakfast time now, but I didn't have the heart to walk out and face her. I didn't want to read words like  'traitor', 'liar', 'cheater' in her eyes, when she looked at me. In fact once I recovered a little from the initial shock, my instinct made me call home & since it was morning, I knew between Cabir & Soha, Soha's chances of receiving the call was higher, and she did.

"Manik, it's okay. You're not alone. We are there for you, remember? You have a home, no matter what" Soha assured me, even without my telling her anything constructive. I smiled a little, she did manage to comfort me.

"I know Soh, and thank heavens for that" I whispered. We were quiet for a while, when Soha had the bright idea of cheering me up & she decided to give me a tour of my own house so I felt less lonely. She was obviously staying at mine to take care of Rooh while I was here; and in no time, I found myself laughing to her childish antics of running around my place introducing me to my sunny patio, my bedroom, my personal recording room & most importantly my favourite room in the house - my Rooh's nursery!

"Stop woman, you're walking too fast, I am getting dizzy!" I laughed, holding my iPad close to me, to not miss a moment of this tour. Soha laughed like a madwoman & only ran faster shouting, "Hope you throw up, Malhotra!"

"Roo, darling wakey wakey! See who's calling you!" Soha called out to my angel as she walked into her room. As she stopped & the camera stopped jerking, my eyes finally fell on my tiny spot of happiness & peace in the whole wide world, my saviour, the protector of my soul, my baby girl, Roo.

"Mommy nooo" she mumbled and refused to open her eyes, as she fisted her tiny palms & put it on her eyes.

"Won't you wake up to say hi to da-da?" Soha asked, chirpily.

"Da-da nooo hereeee. Da-da bees" the little one mumbled & refused to wake up. Her response was childlike & adorable, but a small bit of my heart snipped hearing her words. She wasn't expecting me at all, was I so busy in pursuing Nandini that my own daughter felt ousted from my life? Manik, you're overthinking, I chidded myself to put that momentary nagging voice to rest, but Roo's silent receding of expectations was going to tug at my heart for a while now, I knew it.

"But what if da-da really called you, Roo?" I asked, clearing my voice. My voice worked like lightning on my daughter, as it took her less than a nanosecond to rise up from the bed & dash towards Soha holding the iPad to talk to me.

"Da-daaaaaa" she screamed as Soha placed the iPad on her lap & I could finally see her face up close. There was a mad gleam of happiness in her face after seeing me first thing in the morning, and I sighed thinking how much she & I both missed this, because at home, I always woke her up myself with lots of snuggles, cuddles & kisses. However, the happiness in her face was short lived, since before I could figure out what was wrong, her happy face turned soft & sad & her beautiful eyes had a film of tears smeared on them.

"Baby..what.." I gasped seeing the change in her facial expression & I couldn't bring myself to finish my own sentence. Did I not know why my little girl was crying?

"Da-da come hooooo peashh" my Roo mumbled with little hope in her voice, but it felt like she somewhere knew, I'd not listen to her request. Did I not think all this through, did I let my Roo down? I know before coming to LA, this was going to be tough & Soha had explained to me that Roo & Nandini were both important for me & I cannot prioritise Roo over her every time; but in prioritising Nandini, was I deprioritizing Roo?

"Baby, I will. I will come back very soon. Can you hold on a bit longer?" I found myself pleading to my little one & who knew when I started tearing up too. Rooh looked at my face inquiringly for a moment & gasped, I knew not why; then with all the strength my angel could muster, she spoke.

"Da-da no cry. Roo okaa." she mumbled & tried cheering me up by sending me scores of flying kisses with a sweet smile playing up her lips. I couldn't hold onto my tears anymore as I let a few drops escape & enacted like I was capturing every single kiss she was sending my way.

"Da-da loves you, baby" I could only whisper. God knows what strength that little angel was capable of imparting in me with her childlike gesture from across the world, but I felt calmer, more in control. I felt like I could stand up again.

"Okay, I hate to interrupt baby-daddy pantomime time, but Roo I gotta take da-da & go. Mommy needs to talk to daddy about adult stuff okay!" I heard Soha's sharp voice & soon Roo waved me a cheerful goodbye & Soha's face was back on the screen as she walked back to her bedroom while looking at me.

"Adult stuff"" I smirked, trying to lighten the mood. I soo knew she heard every damn thing Roo & I said & secretly weeped too. Soha was a super sucker for anything sentimental, but she'd never show it on her face. Id*ot!

"Shut-up!" she replied. "Had to say something to get you two out of the super mushy, early morning video call; I'd throw up otherwise. Gosh Manik, you both are so extra dramatic!" she rolled her eyes. I laughed.

"Yes, keep pretending like you didn't weep from the balcony seat, Soh" I replied, with a tight lipped smile.

"Whatevs" she tried acting fancy & I couldn't help but snigger at her blatant attempt to act cool. I knew her in and out.

"Okay, enough. Let's get down to business" she said after a while & reluctantly, I sat up straight, nodding. Soha was a softie, yes; but Soha was also a cold hearted taskmaster, I tell you!

"So Manik. After whatever has transpired between you & Nandini in the morning, what have you decided?" she asked in a businesslike way, which I both hated & admired.

"What's there to decide?" I mumbled, not looking her way.

"Umm..how about deciding what to do next? How do you plan to fix this f*ck up?" she asked, patiently.

I looked out of my room window & could see the cloudy morning sky, the chirp of the birds outside, the hustle of the street & the cafe close by & in stark comparison, the dull silence from inside our apartment. I wasn't sure what to respond. I remembered Nandini's dead vacant eyes from the morning & a gradual realisation of despair hit me. It wasn't hard, it was organic & as if it just took my brain a few more hours to figure what my heart did a couple of hours back, I had sort of reached an understanding. I looked at Soha.

"There's nothing left to do here Soh. There's nothing to fix. I have lost her, again; only this time, permanently." I replied curtly. Oddly the realisation was so new, it kind of didn't sink in enough to hurt me yet. It was like information right now, I was yet to be impacted.

Soha looked at me quietly for a while & sighed. "So basically you went there & handed Nandini off to AK like a dutiful father & then let that raging b*tch Navya, make you look like a freaking villain before Nandini & now you are ready to abandon ship. Perfect." she hissed.

Ouch.

"Wow. It stings when you put it like that" I tried to twitch a smile to make Madam Hitler calm down a bit. My plan er..failed.

"Manik f*cking Malhotra, you know how much f*cking guts it took me to freaking let you get out of our..erm..marriage like arrangement? Do you know the millions of inhibitions I had to overcome to let that Nandini into your life, thereby our lives? Do you know the number of times I worried, what if Nandini never accepted Roo wholly, what would I do, considering I have no right to her? But I f*cking consoled myself believing in your love for her! And all it took was a f*cking Navya Saxena to derail you like a f*cking toy train from Nandini's life?" she lost it finally. I shut my eyes in guilt. I had expected too much from Soha. It wasn't fair.

"You freaking Master of Self Loathing Malhotra, don't you f*cking go on a guilt trip now, of 'oh I wronged Soha too'! You didn't. All this you-me-Roo complication is not your doing, it's mine, so I deserve this. I brought them up simply to tell you that you have put up a lot in line to find Nandini, Manik. I just don't want you to give up so easily." she almost screamed in frustration.

I sighed seeing my seething bestie, breaking hell down on me. This hellfire woman intimidated me, but I loved being scolded by her this way. No one ever exercised so much right on me since childhood, it felt intimate & homely. Maybe Nandini could have the same right on me, but I never gave her the chance either. However, as much as I loved it, I didn't agree with what Soha was saying at the moment.

"Soh, I know what you mean okay. Exactly, I put too much on the line for me & Nandini to happen; but Nandini & and her world, as much as it attracts me, instigates a darkness in me; she willingly or unwillingly evokes the monster in me. Around her, I cannot be the Manik I am with you guys - you know? I'd even adjust to that & fight the inner battle for the rest of my life to be with her, but to what effect? Nandini herself hates the darkness in me; she abhors it, she detests it, she fears it. Soh, are you getting me? Nandini's presence around me turns me into something that Nandini hates to be around! How could we ever f*cking work? And if we can't work, and it is AK who she draws the light & strength from, then isn't it befitting that she stays with him? I want her to stay with the man that nourishes her & not destroys her, Soh. Maybe Navya & I had taken different moral roads, but our end destination was always the same, AK." I sighed, looking down.

"So you're backing out?" Soha asked me crisply.

"Soh, come on. Don't hit me below the belt now." I replied a little irritably. Why couldn't she understand, this wasn't easy for me either!

"Oh, so is Saint Manik coming back to grace our lives with his holy presence now?" Soha replied in sheer sarcasm, this time.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked exasperatedly, throwing my hands up in dismay.

"At least let Nandini know why you lied about your stay! You weren't cheating her, you f*cking love her to the point of self destruction, you m*ron!" she hissed in vexation.

"..and how is that going to help her? It wasn't an easy decision for her to choose AK, okay. I explained to her that it was for the better. Maybe my lies would put our bond out of the window, but on the brighter side for her, she is more convinced now that AK is indeed the better man; and I agree to it too. Whatever happened has made life easier for her Soh, and as much as it hurts me, I am okay with it. I don't want to appeal for my innocence before her - what good would it do? Would it take the darkness or the monster out of me? Would I suddenly become the right person for her? No right, then how does any of it matter?" I tried explaining my point of view to Soha desperately this time.

"Fine. You've made your choice then?" she whispered, I could tell she was really close to crying now.

"Yes Soh, I have. I can live the rest of my life in peace with you folks, my family. My only family ever. I don't need her love" I mumbled, feeling crestfallen.

"It's crazy how you never listened to her, like EVER, but the only time you decided to listen to your mother's advice was this time. It is ab-f*cking-solutely CRAZY, Malhotra!" she whispered, with an amused smile & teary helpless eyes.

"What are you cribbing for, you should be happy that your err...husband like character..wants to come back to you" I half laughed, half cried. Soha looked at me for a long time with her piercing gaze before replying, "If I wasn't your best friend, Manik Malhotra, I'd really be happy about this"

"Soh" I mumbled, with a sad smile.

"Enough drama now. Chop chop, I gotta go" she snapped suddenly and as I sadly watched her build back her walls around her, her face disappeared and the call got over, not long after. I let out a low breath murmuring, "Damn you Maddie, for screwing her up so bad. Damn you, man!"

My journey to find Nandini was now going to end as abruptly as it started after I heard from Cabir & Soha that AK & Nandini weren't together anymore. I didn't know how to react to this anymore, I guess I was too numb right now; but if we were to believe even the darkest of clouds have a silver lining, then I guess mine was that I was soon going to go back to family & I never need to choose to stay away from Rooh again.

Today I am surprised at how life played out for me; I have lost everything right now, yet I wasn't empty. Is this what a loving, supporting family environment provided you in life? A cushion to soften all your fall.

West Hollywood, Los Angeles circa 2018

(WeHo Bistro, Cienega Boulevard)

It felt weird to be back in this cafe so soon. Especially when my last run-in wasn't too successful. However, on the upside, it wasn't Navya I was meeting here this time, it was Nandini. So to keep you posted with my latest updates, after my call with Soha in the morning, I had finally walked out of my room, but I was greeted by silence. The apartment was empty with no trace of Nandini, Navya or even Abir. As I walked across the dining area with surprise plastered on my face, I found a yellow note stuck on the table addressing me.

'Manik, we are taking Abir out for a picnic & camping. We won't be back before tomorrow eve. Nandini'

I stared at the note for a long while, as my fingers gently grazed through her perfect cursive handwriting. A soft sigh escaped me. I hadn't even begun packing yet & I was missing seeing her soft moony face before my eyes & here I had decided to go away from her for life. Albeit, this note was also a subtle way of her telling me to f*ck off because she didn't want to see my face. I held up my head high & tried focusing on Roo's smiling face dancing behind my shut eyes. Yes, I was going to be with her, I was going to be okay, I'd make it. I'd have to, for my Roo.

I opened my eyes and slowly pulled out my phone from my pocket. What had to be done, had to be done. I quickly checked for flights to Australia & finally zeroed on one for the next morning. I took a screenshot for the same & sent it to my office requesting for them to book it on my behalf. I hated to see how miserable & thrilled I felt at the same time! Next, I sent out a text message to Nandini. Just who slips in yellow notes in today's world?

Nandini, hope you guys enjoy your trip. I am leaving for Cairns tomorrow morning. Thank you for letting me stay with you...and I'm sorry. Manik.

I had spent the next couple of hours packing my stuff & occasionally looking at my phone to check if there was a reply from Nandini, but none came. In fact the only message that graced my phone was my flight confirmation to Cairns for the next day. I chidded myself for hoping for a response from her; what was I thinking? She was probably thanking her stars that she didn't need to face me anymore & I was leaving before she returned. Maybe even AK had accompanied them for the picnic & camping? I wondered how they'd be staying, camping tents allowed a maximum of two people in it. Navya would obviously stay with Abir..that meant AK & Nandini..they'd be sharing a tent? Of course. Big Deal. If they were going to be together, then..no biggie there, right? No big f*cking deal. None at all. Nada.

Anyway, it was around early evening when I finally got a text message from Nandini. It was short, it was curt & it made no effing sense.

Manik. Meet me at WeHo Bistro for dinner at 8.

Ermm..wasn't she in some camping place far away from town, probably enjoying her special time with AK? She was coming back tomorrow evening, right? She had it easy. She didn't need to face me. Why was she asking me to meet her now? Maybe I finally pushed her to the point of an ugly show-down again? I was leaving her forever right, couldn't I go without making more hurtful memories with her? A part of me wanted to bail, but then I was staying at hers & the bistro was literally the next plot. If she could come there, at my denial, she would just come into the apartment & I couldn't stop her, could I? I suppose it was best to maintain cordial behaviour from my side & let her end it the way she wants to. Wasn't that the least I could do?

Hence, here I was. I had arrived thirty minutes in advance simply because I was too jittery to sit at home looking at the watch waiting for it to strike 8. As I sipped on my beer, a message notification from my phone caught my attention and as I pulled out my phone, I saw it was a message from Cabir. I rolled my eyes, I knew Soha must have discussed my thing with him, it was now his turn to lecture me. As I reluctantly started opening his message, a sudden voice caught me off guard.

"Manik, you're here already?" It was Nandini. She had arrived twenty minutes early. Was she feeling as jittery as me, to wait till 8? I looked up at her slowly as I stuffed the phone back into my pocket. Cabir's lecture could wait. If I was seeing Nandini for the last time this time, I wanted to etch every bit of her in my mind forever.

She sat before me and tried to smile a little, but she seemed disturbed. Distracted. Nandini Murthy sat there before me, like my most gorgeous & audacious dream. Her visible discomfort was my doing and she herself was my undoing.

"Would you like a beer?" I asked her to easen the moment. She gazed at my face for a moment before slowly nodding in affirmation. I quickly motioned for the waiter to get us another beer. Then I turned back my focus towards her and looked at her with rapt attention; she looked back at me and mildly gulped. We both were ready for the storm.

"So Navya was right about you, Manik. You cannot be trusted." she said softly, her eyes depicting all the hurt I ever brought upon her. I wanted to die in shame.

"I'm sorry, Nandu," I whispered.

"What are you apologizing for Manik?" she asked,quietly. I looked up at her with confusion in my eyes. She further clarified, "You see there are so many mistakes you keep making Manik, so many ways to hurt & punish me, I am curious for which one you have decided to apologise this time"

I didn't know what to say. I know I had hurt her numerous times, but wasn't that all water under the bridge now? Hadn't we decided to move past that? I was here apologizing for lying about my reason for staying with her. How else had I wronged her this time? Although I had decided not to argue with her on this.

"Nandini, about my purpose for visiting..." I began, cautiously.

"Yes, you lied about it. Question is why?" she asked again, her voice came out a little choked.

"Does it matter, Nandini? Point is Navya is right. I can't be trusted. I lied to you about my visit & I should go to hell" I replied back, not meeting her eyes. I figured I sounded harsh when I heard her soft gasp, but she had recovered by the time I looked up at her face.

"You really can't be trusted, Manik, not because you told me a silly lie about your reason for staying, but because you're still doing whatever it takes to hide the real purpose of your visit from me. In fact, had I not wanted to meet you now, you'd even go back home, withholding the truth. That's why you cannot be trusted, Manik Malhotra, not for anything else." she glared at me with misty eyes. Wait, misty eyes? Was I missing something here?

"Nandini..I don't know what you're talking about" I replied, not meeting her eyes. Why on earth did she want me to confess right now, even if she realised why I came. We both knew AK was the right guy for her. We had discussed this, right? Then why was she making life difficult for herself? Silly woman.

"Why are you suddenly going back, Manik?" she asked after a brief pause, where I caught her staring at me in shock, from the corner of my eyes.

"It's time I headed back home, to my folks. My family. I am missing home." I knew my answer would hurt her, but well if I had to be the most hated man in history anyway, I'd rather go down ensuring she suffered the least & didn't feel a thing about me, while accepting AK back in her life this time.

I let go of a slow & long breath. I was probably brutal.

"Always the impulsive one" she mumbled. I looked up & tears were glistening in her eyes, as she looked down towards nothing in particular. My heart broke a little more. God, was I only destined to hurt her?

"Nandu.." I tried, but she didn't hear me.

"Why did you pretend to change & become a better man & all that Manik, when the truth is you haven't changed a bit?" she asked, looking up at me with some sudden found determination. I looked at her, what was I to answer?

"You were as impulsive as ever when it came to me. You still are. Nandini, I love you - no Nandini, I was avenging my sister's misfortune - Nandini I hate you - no Nandini, it was a misunderstanding, now I want you - Nandini you are my hand me down for AK - no Nandini, you changed my world, so I love you - Nandini I am leaving you because I love you - Nandini you are with AK & I am with Soha but we should be friends - no Nandini we are more than friends & I don't think that's right, we both have other people in our lives - Nandini I heard you & AK broke up, did you know there is nothing between me & Soha too - oh but Nandini AK is the right guy for you, be with him - and Nandini do you trust me? - also Nandini I lied to you & now I wanna go back home to my loved ones....woah. Do you ever hear yourself speaking, Manik?" she whispered, hoarsely.

"Nandini.." I mumbled, but I knew I wasn't standing for a hearing tonight, it was the night of verdict & only Nandini was going to do the talking. I had done my sharing of epic sh*t & today after so many years, Nandini Murthy was out with her rod to lash at me & rebuke me for all my mistakes. I f*cking deserved it. About time.

"Nandini what, Manik? Throughout the years we've known each other, you have only pushed your decisions on me, did you ever want to hear what I had to say? Amongst all these times when you went back & forth with your words, Manik Malhotra, I only ever had one damn thing to say & that was I f*cking love you! I loved you when you played that twisted game of revenge with me, I loved you when I hated you for the same, I loved you when you were jealous of everyone in the world that was close to me, I loved you despite knowing what a monster you were & how much dirt you spewed on people around you. I loved you when I humiliated you before everyone, hoping you'd manage to love me enough to still stick by me like I did even after your ugly game, but you didn't. I loved you for all the six years not knowing any damn thing about your whereabouts. I hated myself for loving you, but I did Manik. I met you in Maldives & thought you & Soha were a happily married couple with a child, it broke me from inside, you know why Manik, because I f*cking still loved you. I could run away from Maldives, too - hell I totally intended to, but I didn't, do you wanna guess why? I knew our days were numbered & I also thought our encounters meant nothing to you anymore, other than friendly interactions, I knew I was in for another heartbreak, but I still f*cking went ahead because all I saw was I'd selfishly make a few more memories with you, the only man I ever loved! Do you see the pattern here? I couldn't stay with AK because we realised no matter what I will always love you. You came here to stay at my place - I didn't know about your & Soha's reality then, but I still let you stay, again knowing I would break my spirit further, but why? Because I selfishly loved you Manik Malhotra, and wanted whatever bit of you I could get. You came here, you told me you're not with Soha, but you didn't tell me why you're here. In fact you convinced me to go back to Arya, Manik? If I was scared of the darkness, you'd just push me away, wouldn't you at least try holding my hand and telling me to not worry because even though with you there is darkness, it also meant you'd hold my hand in it?" she cried out in agony.

"What is it that you feel for me Manik? Do you love me, do you f*cking hate me? Anything?" she asked again desperately & something inside me flew off the handle seeing her desperately dejected state. I f*cking knew she loved me, even if she didn't say all this, how did she doubt my love for her? Did she need me to tell her after all these f*cking years that I loved that woman like a f*cking crazy lunatic?! Love wasn't ever the damn question between us, the question currently is, did her happiness lie with me?

"I always knew how you felt for me Nandu but did you not realise what I feel for you? You need me to f*cking spell it out for you?" I gruffly retorted back, glaring at her. Did she realise how helpless I felt when she told me that she loves me f*cking twelve times in the last five minutes? "Fine, then I will spell it out for you. Out loud. I love you, Nandini Murthy. I have only ever loved you. I loved you when I didn't know what loving someone meant, I loved you without even realising it that I did. I loved you all through my monstrosity, I loved you all through my acting out phase, I loved you all through my running away from you to Australia phase, I loved you when I saw you in Maldives & I thought Abir was your & AK's son. I loved you thinking you were smitten in love with AK back then, I loved you knowing there was no escape for us from our lives & we couldn't be together. I loved you assuming that you were married to AK until recently & I loved you when I decided to come to LA to visit you & let me tell you in case you're not clear just yet, I f*cking love you like there's no tomorrow, right now, as we speak & I am screaming in front of you! There I said 'I love you' more times than you told me, does that effing assure you now that I really do, Nandu?" I asked in vexation, never realising I was tightly gripping her wrists in my hand, across the table as I blasted out my love for her in anger; could nothing ever be nice & normal between us?

As I looked at her, the tears that were pooling around her eyes were trickling down her face now, and I knew how her feelings were running all over the place at that moment. I tried calming myself down, I had to, in order to handle her, I had to be in control, first. How did I lose my temper on her, my Nandu was f*cking fragile. Damn.

"Nandu, listen.." I began but only to be stopped by her.

"Manik if you love me & you knew I love you too & you know that we both are f*cking alone and miserable without each other than why on earth did you not tell me that you came here in LA for us? And most importantly why the f*ck did you convince me to get back to Arya? And what in seven hells were you thinking when you decided to go away without ever telling me why you came here? Are you freaking insane Manik Malhotra!?" Nandini sounded stunned beyond redemption as she looked at me, appalled.

I looked at her shocked, teary eyes, her slightly parted, rosy, confused oxbow lips, her tear stained cheeks & her red nose and sighed. If I Manik Malhotra was an ordinary man, I would f*ck every rhyme & logic on earth right now & go and smash my lips on her & take her in for a soul searing kiss & begin a 'happily ever after' right hereon, but my reality was different from that ordinary Manik Malhotra. I was the devil spawn that leaked a darkness so lethal, that I could devour angels in whole. I couldn't forget everything & kiss her. I had to stay away from her; but if all the cats were out of the bag, then I was going to explain things to her clearly this time. She needed to know exactly why we didn't have a fair chance in life - I owed her this much. I shut my eyes for a few seconds & took a deep breath, then I looked at Nandini, who was looking at me with bated breath. I knew my answer would define the course of her life, hence for once I couldn't go wrong here.

"Nandini, listen to me carefully okay?" I began with a battered breath. She softly nodded in affirmation. "It's true, I didn't come to LA for my shows, but it's not true that I came here for us" I paused. She looked broken at what I had said, but I gestured for her to wait & hear me out fully. She barely nodded, holding her breath. "I came to LA not for us Nandu, I came here solely for you. When I came to know that AK & you weren't together, it's true that the most dominant part of me wanted to run here for giving us a chance, in fact I had planned to as well, but only until better sense prevailed. I love you Nandu, I hope there is no confusion with that in your heart now; and it is because I love you, I can keep you ahead of me. You are all what I need to live, but your happiness is more to me than my life itself. Hence when I realised this, I decided to come here not for us but to ensure you find your happiness, Nandini Murthy. If your happiness lay in me, it was a win-win but I'd be here to support you even if that said happiness lay in someone else. Unfortunately we both found out that your happiness lies with AK. If you want to know if this breaks me from inside, it doesn't. Nandu without you I am so numb that I can't even feel my own damn heartbreak, but I will survive this for your sake. I will survive knowing we did what was best for you. Hence I was going back to Cairns. My reason to live was long gone with you Nandu, but I still have a reason to survive & that's my daughter Roo - therefore I was going back to her. Does this answer all your doubts now?" I asked her softly, caressing her knuckles with the pad of my thumb, trying to soothe her.

"...and you feel my happiness lies with Arya because he doesn't have darkness in him like you do? You would rather send me off to Arya than hold my hand in the darkness & teach me to befriend it, if in case, you can't control the darkness?" she asked me faintly, looking out of the window. I wanted her to face me. I wanted to drink the beauty of her sublime face while I still could, who knew how long we had? I gently held her chin between my thumb & index finger and turned her face towards me. She didn't protest, but she didn't look me in the eye either.

"Nandini Murthy, you are the brightest spot of my soul. You are my star in the night sky, my angel of the darkest hour, my firefly in this infinite darkness of life. You see the foul play of the universe here, love? You are inherently the opposite of my basic make. I am darkness & you're light, we are opposite, we don't ever walk the same path. Our love may be undying Nandu, but we are really either/ors of nature. If we unite, I will overwhelm you, I will destroy you & I can't ever do that to you. Not anymore. Not knowing what love is, and that I love you more than love itself." I whispered; every part of my physical & emotional existence hurt as I said the most painful truth of our life. Imagine my surprise, when I heard her laugh at me, hearing this.

"I turned Manik Malhotra into a crazy romantic poet, didn't I? And you think you can overwhelm me?" she laughed softly through her tears & I looked at her in amazement. More than her words, what amazed me was how easily one dimpled smile from her could easen all the hurt & pain inside me in a moment, like right then. I was looking at her smiling face & everything torn, shattered, broken, burnt inside me felt healed & normal. Just like that. I smiled at her shaking my head.

"We are hopeless id*ots. That's what we are" I mumbled.

We both were quiet for sometime, trying to focus on the food lying unattended on our table for God knew how long.

"Manik.." she called me again, after forcing herself with a few morsels of food.

"Hmm?"

"Can you see stars in broad daylight?" she asked, casually while playing with her food. I looked up at her in surprise. What?

"You can't see them in daylight, Nandu" I stated the obvious, in an unsure voice.

"Hmm..but then you must have seen angels walk around happy, joyous people, blessing them with fortunes they never asked for?" she asked again in a sweet innocent voice. I knew she was trying to get somewhere with her sarcasm, only I didn't quite understand where. I decided to play along.

"No, Nandu." I replied, curtly.

"I guess then you have not even seen fireflies under sunlight?" she asked with a little pout. I looked her in the eyes now.

"Is there a point to this?" I asked her softly.

"What do we learn from this, Manik?" she asked me sincerely this time & I looked at her wordlessly.

"..that, what you think is nature's foul play, is not a foul play at all. It is the law of nature. Stars can't be seen in broad daylight, Manik; neither do angels walk on happy planes, hell even fireflies lose their spark in sunlight then what is the meaning of their light? Are they meant for sunshine & happiness? They are inarguably a relic of all things bright but they exist in the dark. In light they lose their purpose Manik, which means they are carved for the dark, the only place where they are appreciated, loved & needed for whatever little light & happiness they can provide. That's why Manik, stars need the darkness, more than the darkness ever needs the stars. Angels need unhappiness & duress because that is where they come & contribute with blessings, that's where their blessings count & fireflies? Manik the bright sunlight mocks & diminishes their little light, it is only in darkness their glory is restored. You see the real picture, Manik Malhotra, nature didn't make us as either/ors at all, it made us complementary to each other!" she whispered with a twinkling smile playing on her lips.

I stared at her dumbfounded. There was this inflating sensation inside me. Was this how budding hope felt like? Did we Manik & Nandini, really have a shot of being together? Did Nandini really believe this? A low shudder escaped my lips. I dared to hope, but I dared not con her happiness. If Nandini was willing to embrace my darkness, it was important I laid out my last line of defence before her. That is, my strange way of loving her.

"Nandini, when AK and you kissed for the first time.." I began softly, not sure how to put it across, but Nandini began protesting.

"Manik, after all that we.." but this time I stopped her mid-sentence.

"Hear me out please, Nandu. I need to tell you this, you need to know." I requested gently. She looked unsure, but nodded anyway.

"...when you guys kissed for the first time, AK had pretended to accidentally drop your ice-cream so that you'd not waste time & hurry with him to the spot where he wanted to take you; the spot from where if he kissed you at midnight, the fireworks would begin high up in the sky & that would be the most memorable backdrop ever. What an experience he wanted your first time to be. It must have been epic, right?" I asked in a soft voice & Nandini looked irked.

"Manik, why are you saying this?" she asked, her voice was no more than a whisper.

"...I'm saying this because I am not that guy, Nandini. I am not the prince, baby. I am the beast. I don't do heart fluttering sophisticated things for the ones I love Nandu, I can't. My affection, love & care are raw - as raw as my anger, insecurity & hate. I am that guy, who'd let you have that ice-cream & gaze at you seeing your happy smiling face feeling content. I'd easily forget the larger plan, the jaw dropping background, the perfect romantic set-up to see you plainly standing there and enjoying that ice-cream, knowing fully well the epic plan would never materialise because of this delay; but you see Nandu, you could have that ice cream anytime, but that experience was a one time thing, perfectly timed & planned. If we look at the big picture, even you'd be glad to know that you have dropped the ice cream to see the lights, but in my case I'd be lost in you & invariably make the wrong choice for you. I'd choose the happy, content, ice cream eating smile of yours over the ecstatic, overwhelmed one you'd have if you saw the fireworks show from the top of the bridge. I'd choose the former because for me that is as good, that is enough - never realising you are more deserving of the larger happiness that you'd probably derive, had you seen the fireworks in the midnight sky on New years eve, instead." I said in a rushed whisper.  I was feeling agitated & I didn't know why. I wasn't even sure if Nandu understood anything I said right now, but she had to know. She had to know this before she put her verdict in my favour. I didn't want to be undeserving of her.

I wanted her to make an informed choice with me.

Nandini looked at me with an unreadable expression on her face. As the seconds ticked, I found myself panicking deep inside. Did this truth finally rock the boat, was this finally why she'd leave me, even after staying past everything? I started breathing harder & finally she began speaking "..and that's why Manik Malhotra, for me it will alway be you. No matter what. In having that ice-cream I might have missed the greatest fireworks show in my life, but I would have held onto exercising my choice. You'd not stop me from having that ice-cream because at that point of time, that's what I would have chosen for my happiness. Arya had chosen my happiness for me that night, but if it were you, you'd have let me choose my happiness that night; and that Manik, makes all the difference in the world to me". As I looked at her in shock, still not ready to believe what her answer indicated, I saw a gentle smile adorn her lips.

"Is this happening for real?" I think I mumbled & my trance was broken by her deep giggling laughter. The laughter that sounded like the chiming of bells, the laughter that could transport me to paradise in a moment.

"Yes Manik Malhotra, no more philandering around now. It's time to come back home" she replied softly with a smile that finally reached her eyes.

I had the happiest smile my face ever wore, as I softly held her hand for the rest of the evening and deep into the night as we sat there chatting. If there was one thing I knew, I wasn't leaving that hand, ever. That was the most intimate we got that night & it felt like we didn't need anything more. Just our presence together, being mentally on the same page & in love was enough.

If this were a dream, dear Lord, I'd never want to wake up again.

Just when this strange night couldn't get more beautiful & unreal, my phone flashed a beep & I quickly turned to check there was a text message from Cabir. Again?

I quickly unlocked the phone to check. There were two messages, one from the evening & second that  flashed just then & I read both at one go.

D*ck move bro. Seriously, you went there to help Nandini choose AK? Anyway, I fixed it this time, Nandini knows everything. Also, next time you f*ck up like this, I will let you drown in your own cum! :@

Please tell me she didn't dump your sorry a*s for being such a prick & you guys have made up & made love? ;) (Soha's asking, not me!)

I laughed out in exhilaration reading his texts. Soha really meant business this time. I turned to Nandu who was looking at me with a curious face.

"Cabir told you everything, that's why you came?" I asked, laughing goofily.

"Aliya actually did. Though she told me you came here for 'us', which was not exactly the case, as I learnt. You were seemingly here for my 'kanyadaan' to Arya" she replied, with a teasing smile. I rolled my eyes.

"Aliya.." I mumbled to myself.

"I guess Cabir realised I'd have more faith in her words than his. After all he did malign my waffle making skills publicly" Nandini teased me some more.

"Would you still leave your camp date with AK to be here if Aliya didn't call you?" I asked smirkingly, although I really wanted an answer to this. To this, she first rolled her eyes, saying, "Uff Manik, Arya wasn't even there with us today!" but then Nandu turned thoughtful before answering my question.

"I guess I would." she mumbled after a while. I looked at her feeling overwhelmed & closely wrapped my hand around her waist, pulling her close to me. I gently nudged my nose with hers, as I asked further.

"..and what would you ask of me then?" I whispered looking at her eyes.

Nandini looked deeply into my eyes & then shifted her focus to my parted lips. As she inched closer, my grip on her waist tightened. Just as I was about to close the gap between our lips, she whispered, "Keys, Manik."

"Huh?" I asked her, moving back.

"How'd I enter my own house if you left for Australia with my keys, Manik?" she asked me with an innocent face, before she broke into a devilish chuckle! I widened my eyes in amazement before pulling her back & tickling her ridiculously and we both went mad laughing; folks around us eyed us like we were retards. I didn't care tonight.

I, Manik Mahotra, had everything I ever wanted at that moment, right in between my arms. I was invincible, that night!

***

No this is NOT the end of the story, but this is definitely the beginning of MaNan I promise. As I read from a lot of you, please be assured, there is no separation track hereon & you will have all what you're hoping for *winks* :D

But for now, do spend a few quick minutes to answer a few questions, so that I know what you think of my story!

1. How would you define Manik-Soha-Roo bond?

2. How was the MaNan face off that we have been waiting for so long? Did you enjoy it, is there some point that you think, wasn't addressed here?

3. Overall thoughts & feels about this chapter?

Dear readers, if you think you enjoyed this enormous chapter, than please leave in a few in-line comments, a vote & a shout out to MaNan readers, so my book grabs some more readers!

Okay now, I will see you next Saturday! (4th Dec)

Until then,

Love,

A.