It was almost twelve o'clock and Violet had just finished her breakfast.

Her mom had left the room to make some arrangements for the dinner appointment with Aunt Yue, and Violet was still chattering with Amah Ning when her brother excused himself. Jared had to catch his flight to Seoul that afternoon. He was leaving on a business trip for a week.

He gently patted his sister's head and tossed a black credit card onto the table. "Here, go shopping and have fun with Kiko. Rest as much as you can this week, okay?"

Violet looked at the card but didn't take it. "I don't need this. I already got one from Dad."

"I know. But just use this one for now. Everything you do this week is my treat," Jared insisted as he proceeded toward the door.

Violet understood this was her brother's way of consoling her for the breakup. She smiled and nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Brother. Have a safe flight! I love you!"

"Amah, is there anything that you want? I'll buy it for you. It's Brother's treat!" she asked Amah Ning after Jared left the room.

Amah Ning chuckled. "What would an old person like me need? I have plenty of everything. Don't waste any money on me," she said with a dismissive wave of a hand, before resuming to stitch floral motifs on the piece of fabric meant to be a handkerchief.

Violet watched the old Amah holding the embroidery needle in her hand with a bit of difficulty. She noticed the minor tremors in her hands.

During one of her mom's visits to her dorm a few weeks ago, she had told Violet about the old lady's difficulty with walking. The news upset Violet, but her mom had convinced her it was nothing serious. It was just a joint problem, commonly experienced by elderly people, and Amah Ning had been getting treatments.

It was just this morning that her mom divulged the truth about the old lady's health condition; she had just been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.

"She didn't want you to know, sweetheart. She told me not to bother you about it because of your exams," her mom said.

Violet's eyes started to glisten, looking at the shaky, wrinkly hands that were trying to avoid a sloppy knot on the tiny daffodil motif. Her throat clenched. She quickly leaned forward, reaching to hug the old lady from her side, burying her head on her shoulder.

"Amah, you're not old... Seventy isn't considered old anymore. People nowadays live to 100 years old. You have at least two decades before you can call yourself old." Her voice quivered.

Her words startled the old lady for a second, but she soon smiled. She put her embroidery work on her lap and patted the arms that were circling her shoulders. "What's this? Why does my little fairy sound so sad?" she asked gently.

Violet released Amah Ning from her embrace and sulkily looked at her. Having grown up under the old lady's care, the news about her illness greatly perturbed her. But her mom had managed to calm her down, saying that various treatments and medications were available to slow down the progression of the disease as it was still at an early stage.

Her mom had also warned her not to let her sadness show because it would put more weight on the old lady's heart. But upon seeing Amah Ning's little hand tremors with her own eyes, Violet couldn't help but feel more upset.

"Aiya... Why are you crying? Whatever is the matter, child?" Amah Ning quickly took out a neatly folded handkerchief from her pocket to wipe Violet's tears.

"You said not to waste money on you. Why would you say that? You're my one and only Amah, why can't I spend money on you?"

Hearing her protest that sounded more like that of an aggrieved child, Amah Ning guffawed. "You silly child..." she said, still wiping Violet's tears. "What's with this outburst? Have you been stressed from school?"

Violet snuffled and shook her head. "No. School is fine," she said in a tiny voice. "I just missed you and I want to buy you something, but you said—"

"Alright, alright... stop crying," Amah Ning cut her off, dabbing Violet's wet cheeks dry. "When you go out shopping with Miss Kiko, pick out something pretty for me," she conceded, but quickly chided her, "Look, your eyes are all swollen now, so stop crying."

"Okay." Violet nodded with little sniffs. "I'll pick up some pretty stuff for you. You can't refuse them," she said, feeling somewhat less upset after the old Amah's coaxing.

It was past midday and Amah Ning's time for an afternoon nap. Violet accompanied her to her room, tucked the old lady in, only going back to her own room after she fell asleep.

She planned to call Kiko to invite her out later. She unplugged the charger cable from her phone and turned it on.

Her eyes widened at the amount of missed calls and messages from Adam.

Violet, I know I messed up, but let's talk...

Please pick up your phone.

Where are you? Are you in your dorm?

Please pick up your phone. I'm on my way to your dorm...

I'm in front of your building, are you there? Please come out and let's talk...

There were a lot of them, and they were all of a similar nature. Violet scrolled down to the last message which was sent at 04:05 am.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, please talk to me...

Violet frowned. He said he didn't mean to hurt her...

But was she really hurt?

She might not know much about anything else in the world, but she knew pain...

After having undergone many painful procedures to treat her illness when she was a child, she wasn't new to physical pain. She also understood emotional pain when she'd lost a best friend to the same disease as hers when she was just ten years old. The grief was like a shard in her guts. It had never left. The edges had gone dull in time, but it was still there.

And last night, there was none of that. Yes, she felt a pang of remorse and shame. Perhaps a little sadness, too, from thinking that it would work out—but there was no pain. Her brother's remark at the breakfast table rang in her ears. You seem okay. Not heartbroken at all.

She held her phone up and searched for: What does heartbreak feel like?

All the search results described the same thing; overwhelming distress, which often causes physical symptoms such as insomnia, headaches, reduced/increased appetite, low energy, and nausea.

She sprawled across the bed, looking at the ceiling.

Insomnia, headaches, nausea—she had none of those.

Yes, her energy was low, and she felt worn out last night. But it was reasonably so because it had been exhausting several weeks for her—she had attended lectures, taken part in extracurricular activities, gone volunteering, and prepared for her exams. Consequently, she had been feeling tired, but after twelve hours of sleep and a hearty brunch this morning, she was already feeling better.

A change in appetite? Okay, this morning, she had a bigger appetite than usual, but she had skipped dinner last night—and it was Amah Ning's beef noodle soup! It would have been weirder if she hadn't tucked into her breakfast with gusto.

So, no—she sure didn't have any of those symptoms, which only meant that her brother's words were true. She really wasn't heartbroken at all.

Violet drew out a long sigh, feeling apologetic toward Adam. How she wished she could requite his love. But she had tried and learned that it wasn't possible.

She wasn't about to let Adam put his own happiness on hold for her—for something that wasn't meant to be. So, she sat up straight on her bed and dialed his number.

♡──── ❝ Author's Note ❞ ────♡

It would mean a lot to me if you could share your thoughts about this chapter in the comment section. And please consider voting if you liked it.

Thank you so much for reading!

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