Another Love - Tom Odell

A soft repeated click echoes the room.

No, not a soft click, a hum from the piano as a delicate finger taps repeated on that same middle 4th C key. Nothing more than that.

Yeah, maybe Yeosang will get his ass beaten for touching things that aren't his to touch - such as Taemin's piano while he's away at the moment - but he's so bored and staring at the ceiling of the bedroom isn't exactly helpful.

He doesn't even have a television anywhere.

Imagine how bored Yeosang is. Not only that been he needs a distraction from his craves.

Taemin isn't here to be of some help in not thinking about feeling numb with medicine, so he has to do something else just to not run out that door and buy some himself.

Or search for it in this apartment - Taemin is a drug dealer after all.

It's been almost two weeks since he's been here, still with a cast in hand - but promised that next week he may get it removed to a smaller cast before he starts to go to therapy.

Yippie.

Since then, he's been only from the bedroom and to the bathroom. Taemin brings him food three times a day, sometimes snacks when Yeosang bombards with his voice of his hunger - but most of those times he does that just to see him again.

It's hard to get to Taemin. He is really monotone and cold to Yeosang; distant, reserved, and his usual strict self. Even when Yeosang tried to be flirty, Taemin would easily dismiss it off or walk away.

Yeosang didn't give up though, after all he just loves to tease him.

Under that guard he knows there is someone who is soft, tender, and likes being given genuine attention. So, Yeosang refuses to leave his side until he can manage to reach that broken side of him. He's seen it a few times already. From when he gets his tantrums and emotional distress moments, Taemin becomes patient and careful with him in worry.

Not once would Taemin try to press on him, or make him feel bad for exploding the way he would. Instead he would just act casual the next day and leave it like that.

So he does have a soft side, and getting to have him show that side often isn't as easy as one would think.

Which looks and feels like a mission impossible.

Dammit Jimin, why he had to fuck up the guy so badly?

Yeosang frowns to the thought and pressed down harder on the key, huffing lowly before spreading his fingers and continues to play.

A soft, melancholy, tune to his lonely self.

"I found a man that I can trust. And boy I believe in us," Yeosang murmurs lowly under his breath, not singing but not talking either, "I'm terrified to love for the first time. Can't you see that I'm bound in chains, I finally found my way."

And he softly hits the last key, his frown deeper, "I am bound to you."

Yeah, maybe he has grown bound to Taemin.

Even through his tantrums and hysterical breakdowns, Taemin has been the walking angel that has kept him steady. To feel stable. Even when the effects of the withdrawals mellow down, Yeosang finds himself ways to make Taemin try to ease a little more around him.

That's why while Taemin was out, Yeosang went to the little store downstairs to get him his favorite ice cream.

Just to see him feel a little more happy- ish.

Even though that seems a little impossible for Taemin these days.

"Kid, what the fuck are you doing?"

Ah shit, Yeosang is still on his piano.

As though he was burnt, Yeosang shoots to his feet, turning to face a very pointed stare from Taemin. He doesn't look downright angry, but he does look irritated.

When doesn't he really.

"Sorry. I was just bored and-"

Taemin looked as though he was going to cut him off and say something, but instead he kept his lips sealed and approaches him, removing the black cap from his head and flinging it aside on the couch to reveal his raven hair.

"Let's go, you need to rest."

"Can you keep me company at least."

"I have paperwork to do-"

"Please," Yeosang's voice came out small and sincere, just like his gaze, "Look, I know I can be annoying and that I am unstable, but I... I can't put it into words but I just need you beside me. Even if it's us in silence, I don't care. Can you do that for me? Please? Just for a little while?"

Taemin pointed stare remains firm, but seeing Yeosang's sincerity did twinkle a little with his sensitivity. After the incident, Taemin hasn't been telling Yeosang offas he use to before. Sure, he would get annoyed and be stubborn to see him at times, but he never tells him off to something he may regret in the future.

He doesn't want to have more regrets in the future, not with Yeosang.

So with a heavy sigh, he rolls his eyes but nods.

Yeosang beams a bright smile.

So that's how the two found themselves laying down on Taemin's bed, side by side, not saying a word as they just stare at the ceiling. Yeosang purposely didn't say anything because he didn't want to set Taemin off and risk him leaving because he crossed boundaries, and Taemin seems to just bare with the silence indifferently.

Yet Yeosang wanted in someway.... To show to Taemin that he's there for him, you know?

Since now Yeosang is getting somewhat better, and Taemin has been good help despite him not asking Yeosang wasn't going on, Yeosang wants to return the favor.

So he twitches a smile, "Hey, guess what?"

"Hm."

"You're so beautiful."

Usually Taemin would scold him, or make some sort of disapproving noise whenever Yeosang would tease. Instead, he just remains quiet, not uttering a word.

Oh, that's new.

"Hey, want to hear something else."

"What?"

"Don't get mad but, I got you your favorite ice cream," Taemin snaps his attention to him, "I know that look - I was fine. Besides as you said, it's my arm that's messed up, not my legs. Don't worry, it didn't melt and it's in the freezer-"

"You should stop doing things like that for me Gem," Taemin suddenly spoke, a cold tone lace in his voice, "We won't ever be anything more than what is it now."

Okay, maybe that hurt.... Just a little.

Sure, Yeosang knows the obvious. Of course they can't be something more together, but he'd rather not be reminded of it.

So still trying to remain positive despite the pain in his heart, he just starts to giggle, "You're so silly. I do those things because I want to, not because you obligate me to."

This made Taemin's jaw tense, still not looking a him, "You'll end up like me if you continue. Trust me, I'm not good for you."

"Who says I want something good in my life? I just want someone to stay."

Now Taemin shakes his head, annoyed, "You don't fucking get it. I use to be like you. I was so hopeful with love, would do shit just to make Jimin happy, went as far as losing my virginity to him and look how I am now."

"Well, if it makes you feel better I already lost my virginity-"

"Yeosang that's not the point!" Taemin's voice raised a tad bit, "I can't feel what you want me to feel. Not as strong. My love is fucking wasted. Gone. If I could, I would fight so hard for you. I would kiss you with so much love in my soul but it's been used up! I can't defend you because I'm fucking scared. I can't even cry for you because I've already cried enough for Jimin and I don't think there's anything else to give! I just... I want to! But I can't."

His sudden confession was like a slap across the face. Yeosang did not expect for him to just open up like that, out of no where and just so.... Tired.

So tired of keeping this bundled inside.

Yeosang watches with a frown as Taemin rubs his chest, a frown forcing his lips to wobble but he kept it at bay with eyes glossing up. Yeosang wanted to give him his space for a little while before he spoke, since he clearly needs time to gather his composure.

Once he knew Taemin was relaxed enough, he whispers, "Taemin."

"W-What kid?"

"I don't or didn't ask you to feel anything for me, much less for you to even love me," He admits, slowly making Taemin look at him, "I don't want the same love you had with Jimin, I want your own form of love that you could develop. Whether that's as friends, enemies, whatever. You think every love is the same? Of course not. I don't want you to pressure yourself to feel something for me just as you did with Jimin. No, let time do it's work. I want you to trust me in your own way, grow fond of me in your own way, and love me in your own way. So stop comparing, it'll give you a headache."

Taemin was left a little taken back by the words, loss of thought for a second, but Yeosang only raises the hand with the cast, "You think I did this because I wanted you to look at me a certain way? No. I did this for you because I know very deep down this broken soul is someone who is a little lost and scared. And I'm not giving up on him - On you. Now stop tormenting yourself trying to feel something for me like how you did with Jimin, let this what we have flow within time and be what it is on it's own."

This is something Yeosang has been wanting to tell him for a while, and finally he found the chance to say it.

That's the thing with this world sometimes that he has learned. Sometimes people believe that once they fall in love and that person breaks their heart for whatever reason, they start to believe they won't ever fall in love the same way again.

Well, it shouldn't be the same way in the first place.

Love is undefined. It can branch out to any meaning, any significance, with not just a single path across.

Every love that one has in their life is different. From family, friends, pets, specific people - It's all different.

So why would one feel less hopeful of never loving again? When they can just form a new love?

Taemin can love someone again, but it's not going to be the same as he did with Jimin and that's perfectly okay! That's his love for Jimin. A different person. Depending on the next person, he will grow to form a different bond with them and it's own unique way it will be love. Still impactful.

Why stress himself so badly to feel the same way for someone else like how he did with Jimin? That won't make it unique or different or special in his heart.

And that's something he needed to hear; that it's okay to not feel everything he did with Jimin to someone else, and it's not necessary. In his own way, he will feel a different special way with that someone.

With that being said, and feeling like a weight was pushed off, Yeosang gives Taemin a soft smile, about ready to stand up to give him a little more time to reflect, but a hand on his elbow catches his attention.

Taemin is still staring at him, his soft hand grasping him with this battlefield in his gaze.

Yeosang didn't have to be a mind reader to know what he wanted, so he just lays back down beside him; the two now facing each other.

For a long moment they just stared at each other in silence, but then Taemin lowers his head like a small little shy cat and inches closer to Yeosang. All the way until his face is buried to his chest and he reluctantly wraps his arms around his waist.

Yeosang's soul flew out of his body, undoubtably.

Typically Yeosang would've started hyperventilating right then and there, maybe squealed and fist the air in giddiness, but to not scare Taemin off he just accepted him in his arms wraps his casted arm around his shoulders - feeling a little sting of pain but ignored it.

"Thank you."

Yeosang just barely heard it, but when he did he couldn't fight back the goofy smile on his face, closing his eyes to the warm embrace, "Didn't you have work to do?"

"I'll do it later."

"What if you get nagged by Woosung-"

"My phone is died and he would personally come here if he needs something," Taemin grunts, hugging him tighter, "Do you want me to go, I can find my way out-"

Despite the brutal pain, Yeosang tightens his arms around him, "Nope, you're staying right here and I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts."

"Of course you will."

Yeosang didn't say anything back because he was too busy smiling, only holding Taemin to feel his heart grow warm in his chest.

Right where Taemin's head laid, as they drift off to a deep sleep.

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Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo

Jimin was a mess by the time three a.m. rolled around, and he was stumbling back into the same shitty room with skin drenched in sweat and his clothes obnoxiously sticking tono him.

Stupid Joshua.

He told him to go easy on him since he's been having headaches all day!

Now every single layer of Jimin's body aches to the point he's trembling as he makes it across the room, tearing his shirt off and lets it fall on the floor and continues to make his way to the kitchen.

To no surprise there's a plastic small container inside filled with food - not having to guess it being the snoring man sleeping on the mattress. Since Jimin rarely comes here for dinner, Taehyung always saves him food to eat later.

Jimin usually would eat it when he's not exhausted, but right now he just wants water and to throw himself on the blankets to sleep.

So he pours himself water on a mug, chugging it down with a relieving sigh and just about to pour himself more but an arm moving towards him from his side vision catches his attention.

He froze, watching the arm outstretched and a hand placed on the fridge, trapping him from moving to the counter. It took a few blinks and intense staring for Jimin to realize that it's Jeongguk's familiar hand before tracing his arm and slowly turning around to see the man staring intently at him with his hooded eyes.

Jimin thought he was sleeping....

"You sure seem tired, long night?"

His voice is zero traced with tiredness, meaning he must've been awake the whole time and not by Jimin just coming in.

He was waiting for him.

Shit.

Jimin avoids his gaze, just about to move to escape the other side, but Jeongguk outstretched his arm and slams his other hand on the fridge, right beside Jimin's torso while he still holds the mug of water in hand.

Dammit.

Rolling his eyes stubbornly, Jimin leans back against the cold fridge instead, "Cut to the chase, what do you want?"

This made the corner of Jeongguk's lips twitch, scoffing under his breath as though not believing Jimin really just asked that, eyes flickering to him back again, "Can't we have a casual conversation now?"

"Not with you trapping me like this."

"You've been avoiding me, had to lean onto other measures."

"And now what? Want to ask me about my day?"

Jeongguk's face soured to Jimin's attitude, "I want to know what's up with you."

Jimin huffs, "I simply don't want to talk right now."

"Yeah you never do," And Jeongguk eases closer to him, removing a bit of the tension from his shoulders to approach him a bit more sincere, "Come on Jimin, talk to me."

That didn't do anything.

Jimin only remained with avoiding his gaze, his grip on the mug tighten but still not moving a muscle or even bothered to say anything.

This made Jeongguk's gaze suddenly shift more cold, his face now leaning more towards him; So close so the point the tip of his nose brushed Jimin's soft cheek, lips near his ear.

"Don't make me beg."

Now this provoked a reaction.

Immediately.

Jimin's breath hitched, eyes dilating in size and immediately sensing the shift in air between them just by a simple phrase.

Jeongguk knew this, and he tried not to grin as the hand beside his torso slowly closed in to his side and his thumb glides to Jimin's soft skin.

But he froze before his full hand can touch him, "Tell me to stop if you don't want me to continue."

A very long pause stretched between them, and when Jeongguk placed his hand on his hips Jimin still didn't say anything. He didn't say anything when Jeongguk took his sweet time feeling his abdomen with his finger tips, making him jolt from time to time from the warm hand. He didn't say anything when the pad of Jeongguk's index finger twirls over his nipple carefully, but his breath did sink in.

Was he really not going to tell him to stop?

Jeongguk was actually not planning for this to get that far. He's never really thought about doing something more with Jimin, since he's been pissed off at him lately and Jimin has denied close contract affection before.

So why is he letting it slide now?

With eyebrows furrowed questioningly, Jeongguk let's his hand drop back to his hip and he leans his head back but still kept his face hovered over Jimin's with eyes staring directly into his.

And Jimin's gaze screamed the restraint he's latching onto.

"Tell me to stop."

Jimin still didn't say anything.

Now this got Jeongguk a little pissed off.

The hand on the fridge traces the back of Jimin's neck, just over his tattoo, forcing him forward so their foreheads are pressed together. Jimin sinks in a shark inhale, but didn't push him away; The tension oozing off from them is so thick and tight, filled of pent up emotions of complete rage and frustration.

Jeongguk snarls his teeth, "You have some audacity ignoring me for a while to now not stopping me from possibly bending you over this counter if I wanted to."

A thick gulp slides down Jimin's throat, his breath heavy and his bottom lip tugging a little by his teeth when Jeongguk's fingers snaked from his neck to curl on his hair.

"Maybe I need the distraction."

Jeongguk's eyes continued to burn into his and right when Jimin thought he was going to kiss him, Jeongguk chuckle drily under his breath and let's go, completely - a bit too aggressively - and steps back.

"Right, only needing me when it suits you."

"Exactly."

"Yeah well, I don't believe you," Jeongguk mocks back, rolling his eyes now and turns around, "You're not like that."

"As if you know how I am."

"Yeah, maybe I don't, but I trust you. This isn't you."

Jimin puts his mug on the counter and suddenly reaches a hand and yanks Jeongguk back out of impulse. The ravenette grunts under his breath before angrily swirling around and abruptly Jimin's lips is on his. It was sudden, but so hard that left Jeongguk not even thinking what the point in this whole thing was anymore.

This is the first time him and Jimin have ever kissed, and damn.

Who's going to want to stop now?

Jeongguk aggressively pins Jimin by the hips back to the counter, growling under his breath to Jimin's fingers messily raking his hair and lips devouring over his in complete high and hunger as he forces their bodies to be pressed together tightly.

Kissing Taehyung is sweet. Sometimes hard and needy when Taehyung gets in his moods to the point Jeongguk has almost begged for sex a few times. It's like drops of toxin, unable to get the sensation off one's tongue after they get a taste.

Now kissing Jimin is a whole different feeling. He's a drop of melted candy. The taste so addictive that it makes one forget what the hell is even right and wrong and dive into the deep scarlet colors of lust.

And Jeongguk was definitely diving deep into it.

It was consuming over his every sense, screaming to take this further and further.

To make Jimin only desire for him.

So aggressively Jeongguk hoists Jimin up by the thighs and carries him out of the kitchen. The man is tracing hard kisses on his neck, weakening Jeongguk's legs with every steps to the point it gave out and the two laid on the blankets that were used as Jimin's bed.

Shirts were teared off, Jeongguk's hand was rubbing on Jimin's dick from over his pants and Jimin was losing control of his body by how turned on he was.

"Wow, won't you look at that. How the tables have turned with just a shut eye."

The two heated men abruptly jolted to the fucking voice that traces beside them, and when they snapped their gaze they see Taehyung lazily with eyes open and plopping an elbow with a fist to the side of his temple.

"You two really thought you could have a little fun without me? Ha," Taehyung is giggling now, eyes twinkling to the sigh, "Please don't let me stop you though. Continue on."

Well, how the fuck are they going to continue now after that?

Way to ruin the moment.

Taehyung must've sensed the awkwardness oozing between the two of them now, because he just rolls his eyes and scoots closer to them. With a rough hand, he yanks a fist full of Jeongguk's raven hair and cranes it back, messily moving their lips together before Taehyung pulls away. He then turns his attention to Jimin, and Jimin was already leaning up by the time Taehyung clasps his jaw and kisses him so hard to the point Jimin slams his head back to the blankets and softly whines.

Better, that's more like it.

Pulling away breathless now, Taehyung now with a devious smirk wraps his fingers to the back of Jeongguk's neck and smoothly guides him down, all the way until Jeongguk and Jimin's lips met once again.

That spark fused back, making Taehyung twitch a grin to how into it they got with a little push and motivation, "That's it, I'll watch. For now."

Jeongguk barely heardwhat the fuck he said because of how messed up in the head he got, and it excited his body got to Taehyung's little plans, and they're not even having sex right now. His high is reaching it's peak and his hips grinding between Jimin's legs wasn't enough.

More, he needs more.

So he fumbled with button of Jimin's pants, himself already in boxers since that's just how he sleeps, and Taehyung was enough help in draggingJimin's pants down while Jeongguk kept kissing his lips as though he thirsts for this so desperately.

Jimin grunts a breathless sigh, wrapping his legs around Jeongguk's torso and guiding him back down by the pelvis.

Jeongguk moans, rubbing Jimin's dick from sneaking underneath his underwear with his hand, noticing just how brutally hard he is.

"Raw or condom?"

Jimin couldn't answer immediately, only messily kissing him before responding, "Um.... R-Raw."

Jeongguk didn't hear the tone of his voice, not like how Taehyung heard it - that made his ears perk a bit. Yet he remains quiet with a little doubt - unsure if he made it up or something - waiting, as he already holds the lube in hand when Jeongguk snatched it.

It was a little blur from there, at least for Jimin. He felt his body suddenly grow numb but at the same time as though he was living a dream. His mind began to disconnect from reality, not feeling when Jeongguk prepped him, but did moan by how it his body would buzz to the sensation.

Dissociate, he began to dissociate from his surroundings.

Jeongguk kept kissing him, whispering things in praises, being the anchor Jimin needed to suddenly snap back to what's going on and the feeling going away.

Underwear was off and Jeongguk covered his dick with lube, hovering over Jimin and pressed the tip to his rim-

"N-No..... Stop.... S-Stop - No.... STOP!"

Jeongguk practically flew off Jimin the second he heard his sudden scream, on his own and also by a hand from Taehyung on his chest keeping him away; Both shocked.

What happened?

What's going on?

Did he hurt him?!

Jimin is sobbing hysterically, legs tightly pressed together, hands covering over his private area as he cries in full tears and hiccups of breathless wails - so similar to a wounded animal in pain.

The sight broke Jeongguk's heart completely.

He didn't.... He didn't go in- He didn't....

Taehyung was reluctant to touch Jimin, the worry pooling his eyes, "Jimin? H-Hey, what's wron-"

Jimin scrambled away, forcing himself to his feet and practically stumble in desperation to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

And that was when Jeongguk let's out a choke breath he was holding in.

A wave of guilt and horror flushed over his body, forcing chills and shivers all over him as the sight he just saw haunts over his mind. He stumbles to the side on the mattress, lips wobbling, "I-I hurt him.... I hurt J-Jimin, I hurt-"

Taehyung snaps his eyes to Jeongguk, frowning deeply to his expression of desperation of pain while he rubs his arms over his shoulders. He softly scoots closer and guided him to his arms, pressing his cheek to the crown of his head.

"It's okay, Jimin will be okay," Taehyung whispers comfortingly, "Maybe he realized he wasn't as ready as he expected he was."

"I still hurt him. I should've a-asked, I didn't know-"

"Exactly, you didn't know. Don't worry, just give him some space okay? Let him cool down."

Jeongguk couldn't say anything more, instead tears just escaped his large eyes and glides down his cheeks - holding onto Taehyung for dear life without a noise escaping his lips.

In the bathroom, Jimin his hugging his legs to his chest with blotchy tears. He's hyperventilating badly, and so many things cruised over his head to feel as though a rope is tightening his throat.

He can't do this.

He can't.

He can't have sex.

Jimin still can't forgive himself....

Flashbacks to what he did to Taemin dashed his mind, and no matter how much Taemin said he forgave him for it, he still can't forgive himself.

He can't and i-it hurts!

Everything hurts.

It's killing him inside.

Not only did that pour through, but also his previous semi serious relationship also made it's entrance. Once again did he feel trapped, and he doesn't know why because he has had sex before and that was never an issue.

It's driving him crazy.

Why? Why now? Why?

FUCK!

So in desperation, Jimin found his phone that he took with him before running away, and with a blurred vision he shakily dials Taemin's number with pitiful wheezes past his lips.

The phone rings, and rings, until it suddenly reached voicemail.

Dammit Taemin!

Jimin tries again, and again, and again until he let's out a pitiful sob before it finally went to voicemail again.

This time he didn't hang up.

And his heart bleeds through.

Covering his eyes with a shakily, Jimin tried to control his sobs or breathing, "T-Taemin..... I can't... I can't forgive myself," A high and broken pitch forced out of his voice, unable to suppress the sob, "I can't have sex, I can't stop thinking that I fucking hurt you through it and - Please, let me see you. P-Please."

He then presses the end of the call and threw his phone aside, sobbing to himself in this darkness alone.

Filled with nothing but emptiness.

______________________________
A/N:

Well..... That was..... I have no words.

Man lately this days my emotional and mental health has been all over the place. Any recommendations on what to do so I can ease down? I thought I was getting better but.... Yeah, I'm just a little stressed

I PURPLW YOU! <33