Business

Minho:
They've been real quiet🤨

Woosung:
Oh calm down🙄

Woosung:
They sent a message earlier saying that they have arrived to their destination

Woosung:
We can't be all up on them either all the time

Minho:
Hm😒

Minho:
Whatever

Woosung:
Anyways, Taemin how's it been with Gem?

Taemin:
Horrible

Taemin:
Kid is so annoying

Taemin:
I think his brother would be better company

Woosung:
Who's still in the hospital recovering

Woosung:
I've already said it, San is looking after him

Taemin:
Ughhhhhh

Minho:
Not to be that guy but Taemin..... So I'm not exactly blinded by the obvious attraction Gem has over you

Minho:
How are you feeling about that?

Taemin:
How I'm feeling about that?

Taemin:
So fucking annoyed!

Taemin:
He literally can't control himself when he's around me😤

Taemin:
He says shit that makes no sense

Taemin:
Starts trying to be cute and say call me pretty and some other bs😒

Taemin:
It's so frustrating

Minho:
I can see it does

Minho:
Reminds you of someone?

Woosung:
???

Taemin:
Huh?

Minho:
This kid is exactly how you were with Jimin, but perhaps a bit more bolder 😂

Minho:
And you're not the least bit interested?

Taemin:
No

Taemin:
I'm not

Woosung:
Are you still.... You know.... About Jimin?

Taemin:
If I still have feelings? Of course I do!

Taemin:
I can't just turn them off

Taemin:
He fucked up and I'm still the idiot who's blindly still into him

Minho:
Ouch

Woosung:
Ha felt that😀

Taemin:
That's not even the worse part

Taemin:
We don't even text each other unless it's with all of us, and not even directly talk to each other

Taemin:
We stopped talking in our own group chat with our friend Hobi

Taemin:
And he doesn't bother asking how I am after everything he did, or even has tried to rekindle our friendship!

Taemin:
I mean I shouldn't care anymore since I forgive him and all right?

Taemin:
I feel like an idiot because I'm still waiting for him to text me, saying he wants to give us a chance or try to save our friendship

Taemin:
That it all wasn't fake and he really did feel something for me

Taemin:
But every damn day I wake up disappointed and more in guilt with myself when I don't see anything from him, not even a fucking 'hi bitch!'

Taemin:
I'm going insane yet I feel like I'm still bounded to him, as though I have to protect him and prove to him that I still am here

Taemin:
I thought after I forgave him, I would go back to being okay with myself, you know?

Taemin:
That I didn't have to scrub my body hard until I bleed every time I showered just to remove any evidence that he took my virginity

Taemin:
That I would stop worrying about being pregnant and looking up signs of pregnancy!

Taemin:
Or having STDs despite both of us being clean

Taemin:
Stop over thinking stupid shit but it never ends!

Taemin:
Even having Yeosang here is making me feel uncomfortable that he may see me as a whore and want to fuck with me just to do the same shit Jimin did to me!

Taemin:
I can't trust anyone

Taemin:
Not even myself

Taemin:
I'm tired of this!

Taemin:
I was fine!

Taemin:
I WAS HAPPY!

Taemin:
How can he act with me like everything is fucking okay and IM FUCKING SUFFERING BECAUSE OF WHAT HE DID TO ME

Taemin:
Now I feel like such a damn mess

Taemin:
And I don't even know how to fix myself

Minho:
Taemin...☹️

Woosung:
You've been holding this in for a while huh?

Taemin:
Yeah

Taemin:
I didn't find it necessary to let it out

Woosung:
How do you feel now?

Taemin:
Nothing has changed

Taemin:
I just feel sick to my stomach

Taemin:
You know what, what if I am pregnant and the damn doctor is messing with me!😫😫

Taemin:
This has been going on for too damn long! I'm going to fucking cry😫

Woosung:
I don't think you're pregnant

Woosung:
You're just overwhelmed with stress

Woosung:
And maybe Yeosang there is adding to that stress

Minho:
If Yeosang being there is an issue, just let him stay with me or Woosung

Minho:
We can look after him? Or he can stay with the medic at the empire

Taemin:
No it's ok

Taemin:
I need to learn how to get these thoughts out of my head

Taemin:
And not be so paranoid with other people that's not you guys

Taemin:
He'll be somewhat of good therapy

Woosung:
Well to ease your anxiety, have you gotten tested? For both?

Taemin:
Based on the results, even though the doctor found it completely illogical to get tested, I'm not pregnant, I checked just in case

Taemin:
And I checked for any STDs, I'm clean

Taemin:
But even if everything shows that I'm cleared, I still get paranoid

Taemin:
Whenever my stomach feels uncomfortable I start to think I'm having a child

Taemin:
Or if my abdomen starts to cramp with pains and I get other symptoms, I start panicking that I probably have an STD and Google doesn't fucking help when I search up what I have and connects it to it!

Woosung:
Well if you feared an STD, just know that there's great medicine out there that can help treat it. Even if you did get HIV or AIDS, there's advanced treatment that can help your body in any way to still live a normal life, so you don't have to be so scared in case you did have it 😕

Taemin:
Look, the main reason my anxiety spikes to these things isn't even me, it's my parents

Taemin:
You guys know how they are!

Taemin:
They beat the shit out of me for breathing!

Taemin:
Imagine if they ever know I got any of this?

Taemin:
I'm living day by day in fear for my life

Taemin:
I'm even scared to have sex, or even think about being close to someone like that! That's how bad it is!

Minho:
Have you thought about seeing a therapist?

Minho:
You probably now have Genophobia, or Erotophobia

Minho:
Fear of sex or sexual intimacy

Taemin:
You know more of this stuff better than me, I don't know if I have that

Taemin:
I don't want to see a therapist

Taemin:
Not like they can help me either way!

Taemin:
They probably will think I let myself get fucked so easily

Taemin:
Shit I even think that too and it makes me feel suffocated

Woosung:
Don't think that way about yourself Taemin

Woosung:
But may never know how talking to them will help, it's worth a shot to see someone🥺

Taemin:
please stop saying that

Taemin:
I don't want to tell anyone about what happened

Taemin:
It makes me anxious thinking about it and I can't fucking breathe

Taemin:
Don't every say that!

Taemin:
I don't want to talk to anyone and you guys better not say anything to anyone ok?!

Minho:
Okay okay we won't say it 😕

Minho:
But just know it won't be a bad thing to talk to someone

Minho:
We won't mention it again, promise

Woosung:
Yeah calm down okay? We didn't mean to trigger you😕

Taemin:
Ok, it's okay

Taemin:
I have to go, talk to you guys later

____________________________
A/N:
I was going to add more to this chapter but this chapter hit a little too close to home and I need a moment to ease down from it.

I'll be okay though, it just was a bit triggering :)

I PURPLE YOU! <333