they're both drunk, the younger more so than Doc. Docs not even sure how they managed to get back to his house. he has no idea how they got there or what they were doing, until he noticed the younger laying naked on his bed, he's standing just off to the side in nothing but his boxers. he realizes what exactly he's done. he's taken the younger man home, of course, but he's come to his senses that the younger is absolutely way to drunk for this. he proves that when he starts giggling like a crazy person, stares Doc in the eye and asks.

"what are you doing here Doc?" he giggles. Doc stops, frowning a little.

"I don't know kid." Doc mutters quietly. he heads for his closet pulling on a pair of his usual sleep pants, before bringing a shirt over to the younger man. its a struggle but he helps Lightning get it on, before tucking him into his bed. "get some sleep kiddo." Doc sighs softly. he heads for the couch and lays on it, but he doesn't get any sleep.

he stands in the kitchen, silently making breakfast for both him and Lightning when he hears it.

"w-what the fuck?" Lightning mutters. its silently a moment, but Doc can hear the younger scrambling for his clothes and sighs, shaking his head. how could he have let any of that happen? did the younger even know about him? he'd told the rest of the town years ago, he's gay, but has he ever told the younger? no probably not. he didn't want it to ruin their relationship, which he's probably just done. he heaves a sigh and decides to just ignore last night. he turns when he hears the younger come into the kitchen, to ask if the younger wants breakfast, but he finds an angry man behind him. "what the fuck did you do to me last night!?" Lightning shouted. Doc frowns a little.

"hey kid-" Doc mutters.

"you brought me home! did you fucking sleep with me? god what the hell!?" Lightning shouts. "you're supposed to be my crew chief! you're supposed to make sure I get home safe when I'm drunk not take advantage of that!" Lightning snapped. "what the fuck is wrong with you Doc? I didn't realize you were some creepy old pervert!" he shouts. Doc lets him shout, lets him rant. he knows he crossed a line, he's broken the youngers trust and probably their friendship. he's disgusting and he knows it. Lightning is absolutely right. he took advantage of a situation and ruined everything, he never should have even took the younger home last night. he should've let Mack do it. he steps away from the younger man silently, letting him scream until he's red in the face, each word breaking more and more of his heart until the younger storms off for his shoes. "I never want to see you again!" Lightning shouts, stomping off. he stares at the stove, flinching when the younger slams the door shut hard. he's gone. he's actually gone. he reaches down and shuts off the stove, feeling too sick to his stomach to want to eat anymore. he's hoped the younger would laugh it off with him, but of course he hadn't. he wasn't disgusting like Doc. he wasn't a homosexual like Doc. he decides its best to go work on the Hornet, so he drops the spatula, deciding he can clean up later, and locks himself in his garage.

Sally has no idea what he's ranting about, but Lightning has been passing her lobby ranting for an hour, when the whole town hears Doc shout in pain. even Lightning gets quiet, watching Doc scramble from his garage to the clinic, slamming and locking the door behind him. the town goes silent, staring at the clinic.

when Doc finally comes back out, nearly two hours later, he has a cast on his left arm and bandages around his right hand. he has an odd painfilled look on his pale face. he looks almost sickly. he walks back into his garage and slams the door shut, before plopping onto a stack of boxes and sighing. he could still remember running his hands over the younger mans body and it made him hate himself. he's disgusted just remembering the feel of Lightning in his hands. he actually thought chemically burning his hand would make him feel better, make him feel less disgusting, but it hadn't, he could still feel the flawless skin of the man on his other hand, so it hadn't made him feel any less disgusting. it hadn't helped, so he purposefully broke his other. that hadn't helped either. but the pain, the pain of both his hands almost drown out the pain of his actions the previous night and the youngers words this morning, so he denied himself any type of painkiller. he'd wanted this to hurt after all, like a punishment that could never make up for what he's done. it doesn't make him feel any less disgusting, but it does make something other than his heart hurt. he hears a knock on his door but he ignores it.

"Doc? hey, just came to check on you." Sheriff calls. Doc takes a deep breath and opens the door, tensing at the pain in his hand. "hey what happened?" Sheriff ask, looking at the older mans hands. Doc frowns slightly.

"knocked over some battery acid and spilt it on my hand. managed to break my other hand trying to clean it up." Doc says, shrugging. Sheriff doesn't look so convinced. he's looking at the hammer on Docs work bench hesitantly. its the same hammer Doc used to break his hand a few hours ago, so Doc casually blocks his view of it.

"wanna tell me what happened? the whole town could hear the kid screaming at you." Sheriff said. Doc immediately stiffens, one of his eyes twitching and he slams the door shut. he locks it and walks away.

"are you an idiot?" Sally huffs, arms crossed over her chest and glaring at Lightning. "he would never take advantage of you like that Lightning." Sally glares.

"well I didn't wake up naked in his bed for nothing!" Lightning shouts. "and he sure as hell didn't jump to his own defense!" Lightning glares.

"why would he?" Sally huffs. she shakes her head. "he's gay! he thinks even looking at another man is going to get his ass beat. he'll he was probably waiting for you to start throwing punches. he's so homophobic towards himself that he thinks it was deserved! damn it, when you didn't beat his ass he decided to do it himself! guaranteed that's why his hand is broken." Sally glared. "he wouldn't have done that to you. instead of screaming, you should have ask what happened last night. he would've been honest with you. god you're an idiot." Sally glared.

"Docs gay?" Lightning ask. Sally huffed in disbelief and storms towards Docs house. she knocks hard.

"Doc?" Sally calls.

"fuck off." Doc grumbles.

"Doc you know I'll come in myself if you don't open the door." Sally warns. Doc doesn't answer, so Sally uses her key and enters the house. she walks straight into the garage, where Docs sitting silently. "what happened to your hands?" Sally ask. Doc ignores her, lifting his head to glare at her.

"get out." Doc hisses.

"you hurt yourself?" Sally ask watching him.

"spilt some acid I was using." Doc said.

"and yoru other hand?" Sally ask.

"jumped back from the acid, bumped the Hornet and he rolled right over my hand." Doc shrugs. he's prepared these answers. he was ready for someone to ask.

"so is what Stickers said true? hmm?" Sally ask.

"most of it." Doc mutters. Sally looks a little confused and somewhat nervous. "I'm disgusting and I'm a nasty old pervert. so yeah. most of what he said was right." Doc said. Sally watches him a moment before frowning.

"what did you do to your hands?" Sally ask. Doc shrugs, deciding its best just to come clean. maybe he'll feel less disgusting.

"I could see myself grabbing him, so I dunked my hand in battery acid and waited until it burned, when that didn't stop it, I grabbed my hammer and I slammed it down on my other hand until it broke." Doc mutters. Sally watches him a moment. she'd been right. he was purposefully punishing himself for giving into his feelings. he was literally beating himself up over this. "I ruined everything." he sighs shaking his head.

"you didn't sleep with him, did you Doc?" Sally ask. Doc scoffs.

"I thought about it. all that alcohol in my system I couldn't think straight, but I didn't. of course not. I sobered up enough to realize what I was doing. he was naked, so I threw one of my shirts on him, then I left him there and slept on the couch." Doc scoffs. Sally frowns a little.

"you didn't say anything to him?" Sally ask. he glares at the floor in front of him.

"no." he manages through gritted teeth.

"why not?" Sally ask. Doc doesn't answer. "what you want him to push you away?" Sally ask. Doc looks away from her, he's pissed but Sally isn't sure if its at her or himself. "Doc thats not fair to you." Sally murmurs.

"fair to me?" Doc scoffs, getting up. he glares at Sally. "no whats not fair is being so drunk you can't stand up and the person you're supposed to trust to get you home safely, takes advantage of the fact you're drunk." Doc snaps.

"but you didn't." Sally frowns.

"yeah I did. I took him home with me." Doc hisses. "now get out." Doc snaps, shoving past her to go to his room. he slams the door shut behind him and Sally sighs, heading back to the Cone.

Lightning is still sitting at the desk where she left him.

"you need to go talk to him now." Sally orders.

"no way I'm not-" Lightning tried.

"he didn't sleep with you." Sally snaps. Lightning looks over at her. "he knew the both of you were too drunk. he knew specifically, you were too drunk. he was too drunk to dress you, so he threw one of his own shirts on you and slept on the couch." Sally glared. Lightning looks a little surprised. "I mean, its obvious he has feelings for you, but he has never over stepped that boundary from what I've seen, from what any of us have seen. I've seen him purposefully hurt himself just so that he doesn't hurt you." Sally snaps. Lightning sighs a little. "do you even realize he broke his hand because of you?" Sally ask.

"what do you mean?" Lightning ask.

"he feels so guilty for even putting his hands on you, that he dipped one hand in acid until it burned and when that didn't make him feel any better he took a hammer to his other hand. don't you think if he'd actually had sex with you he'd have done worse to himself?" Sally glared. Lightning swallows hard.

"maybe I should have let him talk before I just screamed at him." Lightning mutters. he gets up and heads for Docs house. the doors still unlocked so he walks in hesitantly. "Doc...?" Lightning ask softly, knocking once. he doesn't get a reply. "I... Doc can we talk?" Lightning ask. "I... I over reacted. I didn't realize... I just... I was stupid." Lightning said quietly. its silent and he tries the door, but its locked. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you." Lightning murmurs.

"you're not the first one kid, no one wants some 70 year old homo pervert even looking at them. I get it. I'm a fag kid and not everyone can handle that. after all these years you'd think I'd have learned to keep my hands to myself." Doc mutters. Lightning leans against the door to hear him better. "maybe this time the lesson will stick." Doc says, mostly to himself. he stares at his damaged hands. this lesson would stick, of course, it would have to. he was going to lose Lightning over this, so of course the lesson would stick. "an don't worry. I'll find you a new crew chief kid, and they won't be like me." Doc murmurs. Lightning listens, feeling utterly guilty. his heart is hurting just listening to Doc and the way he talks about himself. "Lightning, I'm sorry. I really am and I promise you, I will never put my hands on you or anyone else again.' Doc assures gently.

"Doc, I don't want a new crew chief." Lightning says. he can remember bits and pieces of last night. he remembers he was the one who kissed Doc first, that Doc had firmly pushed him away before giving in. even drunk Doc looked guilty about it. he had been the pushy one, not Doc. "I'm sorry for how I acted this morning and what I said, I didn't.... I didn't mean for this though. I didn't mean for you to hurt yourself with acid or for you break your own hand over the simple fact you'd touched me." Lightning murmurs. he sighs softly. Doc unlocks the door and opens it. Lightning walks in and watches Doc sit on the edge of his bed. "Doc... m'sorry. I..." Lightning tried. he lets out a small off of a laugh. "I reacted like that.... because... I was feeling homophobic about myself. I wasn't sure how'd you react if you found out I was a closeted gay and then I fucking threw myself at you like that." Lightning murmurs.

"kid... can you ever forgive me?" Doc ask.

"only if you forgive me first." Lightning murmurs.