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Wyatt was kissing me.

And I was melting into it. I felt fireworks, my heart was so full.

He had his hands on my face, holding me steady. He kissed soft, like I was something delicate.

I like you. It was playing over and over again in my head.

"You look so pretty, Gabe." He kissed my nose. That was comforting. He was kissing me again, softly, taking my hand in his.

"You liked me?"

"Since I met you."

"But you were with Shelley? And you-"

"When? We met in gym, I invited you to the lake party." He laughed, I didn't see it through his eyes. Seeing it through a crush this past year was enough to make me fall further.

"Shell's my friend."

I couldn't believe it.

Wyatt smiled, nibbled on his bottom lip before sliding to sit beside me.

His boots scraped into the fabric rug, pushing it to the side.

His arm clunked mine.

He smiled.

He touched my hand.

"Remember when I asked you to borrow your calculator and then I came by to give it back?"

And I was babysitting, and he had that camera.

He kissed me again. I felt butterflies.

-

"Gabriel?" Dalton smiled. It almost made me feel guilty how excited he looked to see me.

Wyatt's walking behind me, he's buttoning back up his shirt that ended up half off. He was a good kisser, it left my head woozy.

"Hey." I offer, voice low, I didn't remember ever being so mellow.

"Hey." He frowns. "You alright?" He watches behind me, sees Wyatt consulting with Tina and Robbie, he's throwing back a shot and they're cheering. I wonder if he told them.

I know he did when they look over. Tina offers a thumbs up.

"Yeah-yeah, I was just, I was talking with Wyatt." He's walking over, arm over Tina's shoulder. Her solo cup hangs from her finger tips. "Oh, my God, Wyatt, Tina! This is Dalton, my-"

"Friend." He filled in, I was gonna say the same.

"Friend," Wyatt repeated. There was this look on his face, he furrowed his brow, and I could feel his hand on my lower back then. He steadied me with one hand, smiling over at me when I fell into his chest.

"We've met, Gabe." Tina reminds. She doesn't offer much else but a curt nod, I wonder what happened there.

"Nice to see you again." Wyatt offers, he's looking at me.

"Likewise." I can feel the heat radiating from Dalton. He's bumping my shoulder with his. "You ready to go?"

"Oh yeah." I remember how adamant I was on leaving before midnight. "I had fun Wy."

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, I have a research paper for AP Lit due Wednesday, so I have to get up early."

Wyatt giggles.

They all do, I only see him. He nods. "Okay."

"I'll see you on Monday, though?"

Wyatt's smile was fond and he was biting his bottom lip, eyes wide and hopeful. "You won't flake on me this time?" He bends down to hug me, was just a few inches from my skin, I could feel his breath fan my ear.

I remember his hands on me. I feel his and on my lower back. He kissed my cheek.

He was still standing so close, and Dalton had a weird look on his face. I pivoted and suddenly was standing between them and Wyatt was peering down at me only slightly. I could feel the heat off Dalton's chest, I watched Wyatt bite his bottom lip.

And he was ducking slightly to look at me. Tina's deep in conversation with some kid named Bentley who's sitting on some stack of tires by the half pipe.

Wyatt pouts.

I swear he looked at my lips then. My heart raced when he looked over at Dalton again, they locked eyes... he looked back at me. "Call me, okay? Are you good to get home?"

Tina chirps in, only hearing the latter half.  "I think the car's got space. I'm with Cyan I think..."

"You think?" Wyatt giggles.

I could feel Dalton tense beside me, his jaw locked and I realized too late what I'd probably made so obvious. "He'll be fine."

"... okay..."

Wyatt rocks back on his feet, he laughs a little. "...text me when you get home."

I nod.

"Kay."

Tina smiles as they turn away, she ducks under Wyatt's arm to hug me. Her voice is excited, her squeeze even more so. I melt into it. "See you soon."

My cheek burns where he kissed me.

Like nothing else mattered.

-

Dalton didn't say a word. He was completely silent as a matter of fact, I wasn't even absolutely sure he was breathing, his jaw was locked and lips were pressed in a straight line as we walked. I wasn't exactly sure why the energy was so somber but I also wasn't completely sure that it actually was.

I did have a habit of overthinking and he was never very talkative, sometimes he was this exact amount of stoic and offered no explanation when I asked. I was sure I was imagining it.

Until...

"You felt like you could just disappear with him?" He didn't ask until we were in the car and when I looked over, his head was cocked to the side, wide eyes. I didn't expect it.

It took a second.

Delay.

That hurt so much and something about that night gave me enough confidence to challenge him.

"What?"

"He kissed you." He laughed, loudly. I wondered why he felt the need to have this conversation parked outside in the middle of nowhere. "Is that where you were, with him?"

"Why was he touching you like that? Like you guys date or something."

"Dalton."

"God, you're fucking him."

"I'm not."

"Whatever."

"Dalton —"

He grabbed my face, then, harshly, pulled it to him and stared at my lips. My neck jerked forward. I pawed his hands away, falling into the door, sharp enough it cricked my neck and left white skin where his fingers were.

I bit my tongue.

"Your lip's bruised." He laughed, like he wasn't phased. "Seriously did you not even look in the mirror after?"

"We kissed." Naive, I thought he was going to kiss me.

I convinced myself that I fell into the door.

He looks sad.

"But that's all that happened. Dalton..."

He gives it a minute, let's it hang in the hot air. He's starting up the car. Quietly, Dalton pulls out of his parallel parked spot and starts the 20 minute drive home.

I don't attempt the speak until we're familiar again, we're passing the school and he's normal, he's been normal.

I don't know how to breach the subject, I shouldn't have to.

I should've got out the car.

"Dalton-"

"I'm tryna get you home safe, Gabe."

"You're not listening." Again.

"I wasn't all over some other guy." It's full of anger. "There's no excuse."

"I wouldn't have even been with Wyatt if you weren't off doing whatever you do."

"Yeah, turn it around on me. I wasn't kissing another guy, Gabe."

"What do you care? I'm not your boyfriend."

"That's not..."

"What?" I challenge. "It's not important? You've ignored me for two weeks, Dalton, you only call me when you wanna make out!  You never ask me how I feel about anything, you just- you force me to do things. I didn't even wanna come to this party."

"I didn't force you to do anything, Gabe, you could've said no."

"You would've been mad at me for a week if I didn't go."

"Did you even ask me here because you wanted to spend time with me or you wanted someone to... do things with after? Or was it do whatever Hale asks you to when you disappear." At least Wyatt wanted to be with me.

"You sound so fucking naive right now, you know that? I like you."

"You don't act like it. You act like you hate being around me."

"You're drunk, Gabe." I wasn't.

He was driving a little faster, maybe he didn't wanna be trapped in a car with me either.

"Y-you act like you hate being around me and the only time I'm sure you even want me is when w-we're kissing or something. You're always high when you come over."

"Wyatt actually wants to spend time with me. He doesn't-he doesn't get mad when I don't wanna have sex—"

"Stop!" It's paired with a hit to the steering. He's turning to look at me, rage in everything. His stance is angry, he's towering over me. "Okay? Enough!"

He still driving, the speed picked up during the yelling, it finally churning back down, he swerves only slightly.

He straightens the wheel.

"I-I didn't mean to yell at you, Gabriel." He tries when I'm too shaken to speak. "I'm sorry, look, I'm sorry, you just- you've been acting so... like you don't appreciate how hard I'm trying."

That's not what I've been doing. Still, I nod.

I try not to incite more of whatever that was. My jaw aches, I barely equate it.

"That's how it feels... I mean, I bring you here cause I wanna be with you. I could've brought anybody but I wanted to be with you." He laughs. "I haven't had sex in a year because I wanna be with you."

It's only been eight months.

He was lying through his teeth, I remembered overhearing Uriah Coleman talking about meeting Datlon one night, while cruising. I remembered the way he described the boy, how it felt too close to be untrue.

I try not to feel too cynical.

"I'm so fucking flattered."

"You're such a fucking brat, Gabe." He snaps, he passes the turn, we're six minutes out. "All I do is try to make you happy and you repay me by being... cheap?" His voice is low and throaty. "Everyone can have you?"

He laughs, loud. He swerves again, this time it feels like it's on purpose. "You've convinced him you're some weak little thing when you're really just a manipulative dick tease."

"Pull over." I see his hands clench, watch them unclench. I see the sweat on his brow, heard the way those last words slurred together.

"Have you been drinking?"  It's incredulous. "Pull over."

"What?"

"Pull over. I don't want to be near you right now." It was the first time I found my voice. "And I don't wanna be in a car with you while you're fucking drunk. Who's car is this, anyways, you didn't drive."

"It's mine."

"Its yours?"

"Hale was using it."

"Funny how I'm not gonna accuse you of fucking Hale."

"Shut up."

"No cause you're accusing me of sleeping with Wyatt and you're always with Hale." And Bobby and whoever the fuck else. "I'm the slut when you're the one keeping secrets and sneaking around with other guys?"

And getting naked with boys in the back of their dad's Tacoma?

"You're fucking delusional."

"Goodnight, Dalton."

I don't know what I'm doing but I know the light's red. I know Wyatt made the night so impossibly romantic and Dalton squashed that in seconds.

I know that sadness in blue eyes is still hidden behind anger, it keeps me from blocking him out when he pulls up to park.

When he follows me out of the car and stands next to me on the sidewalk.

"What, you're gonna fucking walk? Stop being so goddamn annoying, Gabriel." There's worry under it. "Get back in the fucking car."

"Stop talking to me like that! You don't get to talk to me like I'm a dog, Dalton!"

"Now you have an issue with everything I do? You think I'm stupid, don't you? You think I'm fucking stupid and I'm not."

"I didn't say you were—"

"You prefer him? Someone who wouldn't look at you until I did. Do you think he wants you more than just wanting what I have? More than the competition? You think anyone does?"

"You think I'm fucking stupid, Gabe? You think I don't know you're fucking him?" He laughs, he's advancing on me and I'm backing up.

From the outside looking in, I'd have stepped in. My back's nearly pressed to the neighbors' fence. I can feel the soft spitz of the sprinklers on my back.

I can feel his breath on my face. "When you come inside with all your clothes a mess and that look in your eyes, he couldn't keep his hands off you and you think I'm that fucking stupid?"

He's still laughing, it's almost maniacal. "And then you just embarrass me like that in front of him? You meant to do that? To use me to make him jealous and then parade around with him like some prized fucking whore?"

Dalton's hand is digging into my side, his arm wraps around me. I can feel his words pressed to my ear.

"What, were you all coked out with his cock in your throat? That's why you couldn't text me back, cause you were all sloppy on your fucking knees? Is that what you are? A sloppy fucking whore? You cant even thank me for driving you home after he's done with you? You're that attention-starved?"

"I'm-I'm not."

"You are." He's kissing my neck now.

He's kissing behind my ear. He's drilling it into my skull. It feels so sweet, I almost forget to feel hurt.

I feel it all.

"You are- you-you-" he's kissing my shoulder now. "It's really his fault." He steps back, he looks me in the eyes. His are so sweet now, that anger is completely gone.

He's frowning at me, like it pains him to tell me. "He fucked Quinn. Last night, today... he was... he was fucking her when you picked me up, did he tell you that? She apologized for being loud, and he didn't really seem to mind."

And that hurt, more than everything else. It burned my chest, my throat, made me wanna crawl into a ball and die.

That's what he wanted.

"You think he likes you and he doesn't."

He's putting hands on my face, cupping my skin softly and it's the first time I flinch.

"I love you, Gabe. I'm the one who loves you here, okay?"