[Wild World by Cat Stevens]
word count: 3175

-

I'd never been really good at making friends, but then again... If you're reading this story so far, you can probably already tell.

Wyatt Stevens had to be the only person who'd taken time out of his day and asked me to hang out. The planets were one of our common interests, we'd realized one day during a break in-between shots and he'd asked me to go with him. At any other time, I would've jumped at the offer, would've let myself fall for him even more than usual and I would've enjoyed it.

Despite how painful it was to like a boy who didn't even notice you but was still way too sweet to you that it almost felt like he did... it was exhilarating, having someone to think about filled in the blank spaces and he gave me more than enough material.

But I was kind of sort of in that weird point before a relationship with Dalton and I wasn't that kind of guy. I couldn't juggle feelings for both so I was gonna get over my crush on Wyatt on my own terms, confess that I've liked him, probably. I mean, let's face it, I was undoubtably going to chicken out and take some time away from him anyways; Dalton had just given me an early start.

The problem was that he was already dictating where I could and could not hang out with my only friend. Maybe this was how relationships worked, I didn't know. All I knew was that his grandfather wasn't home when he'd brought me back to his house that evening.

"So..."

This was quiet for the first twenty minutes I'd been there, I wasn't quite sure where Quinn was but Dalton didn't mention it and it felt slightly weird to ask. Was it a bad sign that I was bored? Would he be offended if I said so? All I knew was I had to end the silence and soon before his grandfather got home and this visit would be in vain.

Maybe the point of bringing me to his was to get to know me a little but the fact that he'd barely spoken two words to me before popping in some video game wasn't exactly the deep part of getting to know me. From his mysterious vibe, I'd expected so much more, the dynamism hidden behind a cool exterior seemed so alluring... maybe I'd imagined it, maybe he wasn't all that dynamic.

I was sitting on his bed though and I was surrounded by his things even if there wasn't much, I liked it. Dalton had this airy and somewhat vacant way about him and his room reflected it, a sense of not quite belonging that felt nearly uncomfortable, his room had a few windows and a bed in the corner. He hadn't been there long so it wasn't exactly warmed up yet but there were a few things littered across his dresser, he had a soccer ball in the corner.

"You play soccer?" That was the first thing I'd been able to ask, I'd been there for an hour now and all I'd managed to bring up was a sport that he didn't seem to have any interest in besides a beat up old ball. He wasn't giving me much to work with, not yet, but maybe breaking the ice with something meaningless would help.

Still, he'd flitted his icy eyes over, them catching onto the  ball I'd now had been lightly kicking between my feet. "Footy?" He'd asked in clarification, eyes lingering and when he'd looked up, he shook his head. Turning back around, he didn't even look at me as he answered. "No, that's -uh- that was my dad's."

"Oh, is he in Australia?"

I'd developed an inability to keep my foot out my mouth with Dalton and that really shined through consistently. We'd talked about his sore subject of a parent numerous times now and we'd only know each other two weeks short of two months, and most of the time existed in him ignoring me in Chem. "Probably." Dalton had shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal that his dad was absent and he was an orphan that lived in his grandfather's house in an unfamiliar country. "Haven't seen him in ages."

I tried not to pry too much but it didn't seem like he minded as much, maybe getting to know him was learning the bad stuff first, it was -in fact- the bad that constantly pushed us together. "Why's that?" He had told me about his father not being involved in his life but only briefly.

"He left." His hand had tightened on his game controller and I wished I could take it back. I wished I hadn't said anything at all because he was gripping it in a way that looked like it hurt and his body tensed. "Showed up at the funeral pissed."

"He was mad?"

Dalton laughed at that, shaking his head and we were sitting two feet from each other but he felt miles away. Almost as if recalling his past life, he looked down at the ball between his feet, kicking it himself. "No, he was pissed drunk." He was still smiling and it felt almost sinister, there was so much sadness in his life and he was only sixteen. "Weeping over her casket like he had anything nice to say while she was alive, she hated him."

I didn't know what to say except apologize for bringing it up. "I'm sorry."

He'd grimaced, trying to force a small smile and just asked, "Wanna 'ave a go?" He'd held out his controller then and I could tell that this was his own small way of letting me know it was okay. Grimacing, I grasped the controller in mine, trying to make my sigh inaudible.

I'd cancelled star-gazing with Wyatt Stevens to play a racing game that I could just play at home.

But I was playing with Dalton.

And he was looking at me as I turned on my controller, his eyes were watching my hands almost as if looking up would give him away too soon. Dalton was complicated, like a rubix cube but it was like he didn't have a direct key, there was no real answer and I wasn't quite sure how to go about... anything with him, really.

He smiled a small smile when I crossed the finish line at first place.

I decided I liked his smile, it quirked up a little too much on one side, the closed mouth one at least and I wanted to see it again. "You know, I have a- I have another controller," I went to offer, wondering if this would be more fun if we played together, maybe all Dalton needed was for me to meet him halfway. "I can go get it if-"

Cutting myself off then, I looked up and he was staring at me then, your eyes connected. He wasn't listening to me, I could tell that just from the intensity. He didn't look like he was even in this world let alone here with me and for a second, he felt lost. And then, "Gabriel?"

"Hm?"

All of a sudden, he looked nervous and I found myself admiring how cute he was when he didn't know what to say.

His nose would scrunch, brows as well, eyes wavered on mine, "I-I'm sorry for... for how I acted today."

And I didn't expect that but the assertion made me soften.

Biting his lip, he looked down at his hands, his fingers were laced together, "I just-" looking up, he avoided my eyes and his voice was quieter than before. "I like you, yeah?"

And it felt like a secret, something he was scared of letting out. I was seeing more of Dalton than before and this wasn't was facade, it couldn't have been; there was a worry behind bright eyes. "I like you too."

"Good." He laughed softly, it sounding airy and I could almost feel the relief that flooded through him. I was on edge, so much so that I wanted to pull away, wanted to stand up and distance myself because I felt too close to him for comfort.

It was silent for a second, my eyes on the screen instead of his, I wasn't interested in how reclusive he'd turn once realizing that I knew he was interested. "So... what's with you and that Wyatt character?" He'd asked when we'd had enough time to process it together, Dalton and I were on an even playing field now.

"Wyatt? He's just a friend." Screwing my brows together, I tried to see where he was going with this question. I wasn't going to be dense enough to not notice he was jealous and really, I understood that but Wyatt wasn't interested in me. "He's the only person that's really gone out of their way to talk to me, I guess. He's a friend."

Wyatt and I were good friends, that was it. We weren't going to be anything more, that was so clear because if in any other universe, he was anything but straight... we both had adequate time to try and nothing resulted except a friendship. Dalton liked me and I liked him too, in a way. I needed to focus on that.

"Friend." He'd repeated, the word sounding foreign in his mouth and it left a funny taste in mine.

"Yeah, friend." And even if I understood it, I would in no way give him the satisfaction of even entertaining it. He had no real reason to be upset with me and I could already hear it in his tone. I was growing tired of this already and it had only been a few weeks. "Are you jealous of me and Wyatt or something?"

He'd rolled his clear blue eyes then, words full of such a spite that took me aback. "No, I just don't enjoy going on a date with someone and then have someone else macking on them in front of me."

"What?"

As if he expected it, he clarified and it made me feel even more stupid than ever. "Flirting?" It was in the form of a question, the confusion I felt dissipating into embarrassment and my face was red-hot with the accusations.

"I wasn't flirting with him."

"Alright, Gabe."

And he'd never called me Gabe, it was always Gabriel, for some reason, it made me feel a bit guilty. "Maybe I should go." I offered, brushing my sweaty palms over my knees and hoping that I wouldn't make more of a fool of myself than I'd already had. I liked Dalton, I wanted to see where this would go and the way we were interacting now felt off.

"Sorry." sore-ee, his voice was soft and just the little twang in it almost made me smile. He was cute when he was apologetic and I was sure he knew it. Oceanic eyes looking up through thick lashes, his hair falling over his forehead and shielding his brows. Dalton sat in a pair of jeans that hugged his legs and a baggy old band tee.

And his lips were bitten, bottom lip tugged into his mouth as if he were afraid he'd say something more off-putting and I could tell he didn't mean to make me upset. I couldn't leave with him looking at me like that, like he were afraid he'd messed it all up.

"I'm new to this liking someone thing, yeah? I dunno what to do."

That was something I could resonate with so I nodded. "Me too."

"I'm trying, Gabe, I am." I know. "Where were you guys going?" And that was a weird question but I could tell it was all he could think of at the moment so I answered. I'd been putting him in uncomfortable positions all day, I could answer weird questions.

"The planetarium."

Brushing his hair out of his eyes, he'd disregarded his game controller, throwing it to the head of his bed and crossed his legs. Sitting so he was facing me on the foot of his bed, he twined nimble fingers into the gray knitted duvet. "Do you like, um, space?" The way his nose scrunched up when he was thinking made his freckles look even more dominant and and I decided I liked that.

I liked that you couldn't necessarily tell what he was thinking about but you could tell when he was. I liked that it took a little more effort with him and he somewhat appreciated it, and I recalled back to what my sister had said.

Just be careful with him, Gabe.

"I love space."

"Why?"

And I didn't have an immediate answer but I voiced my thoughts anyways. "I don't know... It's full of unknowns?" It made my sheer stupidity at times feel normal. I liked the idea that we were all on the same playing field when it came to the nitty gritty facts. We all were placed on this earth for some odd reason and we all have one shared goal: happiness. "There are things out there that we don't know of yet, things way bigger than us. I like that."

"That we're actually not the center of the universe?" Exactly.

"Yeah." I was nodding then and Dalton was smiling. He was smiling and it reached his eyes, there weren't many of those he'd just give away so I held on. "I like that no matter what you or I or we come up with or how we succeed in life, there's always something more to reach for."

He nodded, eyes blinking closed for a second and then he tilted his head just slightly so I could watch blonde hair curl over his face. The shaved underside was almost completely grown out to the point where you'd just think it was a style and he looked so good. He looked so good when he looked at peace. "What do you wanna do with your life?" His voice was gritty then, a little and I didn't know what he was thinking about but I knew he was wiping his nose.

His eyes were brimmed with tears when they opened back and I had to catch my breath.

"I don't know yet." And I wasn't sure what impelled me to ask a question when he looked like this but something about it made me feel less vulnerable. We were both weak at that point, both on the same playing field. "You?"

He answered in under a second. "I wanna be a social worker."

"Why?"

And he stifled a smile, it not reaching his eyes, I could tell that there was so much more pain harbored behind his skull. He had so much weight on his shoulders, at times I thought he'd cave but Dalton was strong. That was another thing I liked about him, his life was falling apart, it had been for so long yet he was strong enough to keep on.

He'd lost nearly everything and he didn't let it ruin him. "Quinn was in a home and we adopted her. But... The homes she's been through are horrible." He was whispering then as if he said too much and honestly, it wasn't his story to tell. "I don't want anyone to go through that."

Something about the way he spoke always kept me entrapped. He rarely revealed things about himself so when he did, I listened intently. And I didn't offer my own sob story before adoption because I wasn't sure how privileged it really made me.

I'd only been in one real foster home and those people weren't so bad, the system was cruel here though and I had no clue how bad it was in other parts of the world.

So I stuck with a, "that's really admirable," trying not to step on any toes.

He was leaning back then on the palms of his hands and his shirt rid up just a bit to expose a sliver of pale skin. I tried not to look, letting my flush do the talking as he knew what he'd done but Dalton just kept on. He didn't allude to anything more than that."So, what kind of stuff are you into?"

He was changing the subject now and I obliged, knowing that these things were too deep too soon. "You know, besides space..."

"I used to make clothes, never was really that good at it. I like music, used to be in orchestra-" I listed and when he'd sat back up, electricity in his eyes, I stopped.

"What instruments do you play?"

I shrugged, Vinny's old guitar was still sitting in the garage, I'd planned on taking it up. MY music expertise so far existed more in nerd territory than my aspirations. "Mostly strings, cello, violin." Kurt Cobain didn't play the goddamn violin. "I wanna learn guitar."

"I can teach you." He'd offered and I wondered if he played in Australia, maybe in a band. He looked like some type of lead guitarist, he was hot enough. "Your hands are really small." His eyes were on the hand on my knee and I inched closer, hoping he'd take it. He was so hesitant.

"Yeah."

He'd touched my hand then, softly as if he were afraid it were too fast. And with a shiver, I watched as he looked up to meet my eyes again and the way he was looking at me was unreadable.

"I like it," slowly he flipped my hand over, calloused fingertips grazing over my palm so carefully, it sent a shiver up my spine, "it's cute." He was ghosting over until he'd pressed them into my skin, sliding upwards until he gently interlocked his fingers with mine.

He was staring at our hands then, bright blue eyes unreadable, in that moment, his jaw had unclenched and everything about him felt soft. Dalton was only fifteen and in other moments, it felt like he'd aged so much in such a short amount of time. Dalton Jones was so young yet all his grief would overshadow it but at that moment, he felt like we were from the same planet.

In that moment, he didn't feel lightyears away, the freckles that dotted the bridge of his nose were even more prominent and through parted lips, I could see his gap and it felt cuter than before. We were holding hands and for the first time, I could actually see myself getting over Wyatt.

Because the feeling of Dalton staring into my eyes with his bright blues, it was intense. I wanted to kiss him until I couldn't breathe and honestly, it was more than I'd ever felt for Wyatt Stevens.

Wyatt Stevens was a good friend to me, the best friend I had and I could move on without ruining anything, that revelation alone was freeing.