𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄
—𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚜, 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎—

     𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 time, Mariana Carson spent her time hidden away in the home she considered a fortress; every now and then, as a child, she would look out from her bay window with a sigh of despair, place her chin in the palms of her hands, and pretend as though she was a princess awaiting her knight in shining armor. She imagined that he would come riding in one day upon a noble steed, a drawn sword in his hand with armor that reflected his bravery. He would be kind, fearless, and he would somehow hold the ability to break her free of the metaphorical chains that bound her to the fortress — or castle, in the dream-state fairytale that she imagined. And when he finally came, she stood from her daze and smiled out to him.

Spencer.

But it was unfortunate that she learned, soon enough, that life would never create such a fairytale for her to thrive in; with life came terrors and limitations that held her back from taking the daring step forward that she imagined she could take. In all reality, Mariana was overcome with boundaries that would never bid her access to the outside world — or, as she'd prefer to phrase it in her storybook, there was no such prince to save her from the depths of despair that loomed within her castle. She would never be saved, and the unfortunate truth was why.

While her loving parents had locked her away in her castle as a means of protection, they never truly told her what she was hiding from. A dragon, perhaps; a dragon that breathed raging fires, and had no mercy upon the soul of others once its fury was released. Mariana imagined that it would rampage outside, burning anything that it so carelessly pleased to, all the while understanding that it was holding a princess captive inside. But, as the usual ways of Mariana's fairytale, she was wrong once again. There wasn't a dragon outside that was bound to the land around her home, nor were her parents protecting her from another person.

They were protecting her from herself.

So it came as no surprise when Mariana had sunken to the floor one day after a tantrum that had flooded her room, and had cried not because of what she'd become — but of what she'd been all along. She was not the princess she had originally imagined, one with a dress that fell to the floor in soft waves of satin, or one with a crown that shimmered when the sunlight hit it in just the right way. Her hair didn't fall in soft locks down her back, and her eyes didn't glisten with easy desire and the hopes of touching the effervescent tendrils of outside grass with her bare feet.

Mariana wasn't the princess of the story.

She was the villain.

And then, out of the darkness that seemingly surrounded her, there was a light. It burned in the distance and slowly grew closer until suddenly she could reach out and see it — really see it. And although she couldn't touch it, she knew it was there, and she reached farther than she ever had before: for the godmother that would take her away, the genie that would grant her wishes, or whatever Godly being that had come to save her. But it was a prince. A prince with no armor because he didn't need any, with golden eyes that reflected the setting sun in the evening sky, who had the practical aura of everything kind in the world. He didn't have a shadow; instead, a trail of light followed behind him like a cape of serenity. Behind him grew flowers that blossomed from the slightest of his brush, as if he had a magic that everything in the world ached to touch — and Mariana was no exception. In fact, it was possible that she wanted to touch him moreso than anything else because she knew that once she did . . .

Once she would touch him, the curse would be broken.

But perhaps she was wrong about that too.

He waited for her. The barrier of the house was now broken, the doors were open and were awaiting the grand entrance of Mariana into the outside world. His arms were spread wide, an embrace pleading for her. And when she finally reached him, she realized that he had no sword — he held nothing to destroy the spell that was holding her under its wrath. Instead, she found that he, too, was cursed. She looked to him with confusion, her eyes asking the question since her lips refused to move.

She had always dreamed of the prince that would break the spell; who would allow her the opportunity to be free of the very thing that had held her captive for the entirety of her life. But somehow, in a way that she didn't understand, he too was cursed. And instead of allowing the spell to hold him back, he used it as an advantage.

"I'd always assumed you would save me," spoke the princess she imagined, her eyes shining with the fear of not knowing what the next page in her fairytale held for her. "So why is it that you are embracing my curse instead of helping me to overcome it?"

"Because fear is a figment of the imagination," Five replies softly, "and so is the curse that you use as an excuse to lock yourself away from the outside world. Our fairytale may be different than that of everyone else's, and you may think that you are the villain — but the true villain is your imagination, and we will have a happily ever after."

Perhaps that was true, she thought. Perhaps she really was being saved, and that the two of them would be happy and grow old together. They would have a beautiful wedding; rose petals would grace the altar, and the princess would be dressed in white lace that was specifically made for her. And her prince would be waiting for her — his smile would light up the world around her and would make her feel completely flawless. And she would know that she was loved, despite what everyone else thought. For once, she would feel in place — like she was created for this very purpose.

Mariana would have the happily ever after she had always dreamed of . . .

But some fairytales don't end that way.

And some lovers are only meant to be together six feet underground.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Agnes was gone now — Mariana knew that, and was forced to walk down the street on her own, only to sit on the cool pavement and stare into the windows that were once lit up with the welcoming light from inside. It was a lonely thing to do, and she could've avoided doing this completely. But something inside of her heart begged her to come here, to see that this was really happening. Not only had she not seen Spencer in three days, but she hadn't had the opportunity to face Agnes before she packed her belongings and left to find a life that made her happy.

And although this pleased Agnes' heart, it broke Mariana's. Not only had the teenager lost her best friend, she was also forced to say goodbye to the woman that had presented her getaway from the looming world. And as far as Mariana knew, the world would be ending the next day anyway. Perhaps she should be spending the day with her parents, preparing for the upcoming orchestra performance that she was attending with Spencer. Perhaps she should have been choosing her dress, or going to the Umbrella Academy to see if Five had any updates on his task of saving the world.

But, for some reason, she found herself here instead.

It was unusual for her to go against the pleading ways of her heart, but at the same time, her heart asked for a break from the bitterness that it had taken over the course of a week. Mariana's newfound pain was too much to bear, and sometimes she wondered if she was strong enough to handle it. The weight of the world was leaning on her fragile shoulders, and she was prepared for the day when she would give into the pressure — the day would surely come when she would sink to her knees and break.

She was counting every frightening moment that was leading up until that point.

"I shouldn't be here," Mariana mumbles to herself, closing her eyes and placing her hands onto the pavement. The abandoned pastry shop was completely dark on the inside, the doors were locked, and the inside was stripped bare of everything that had once decorated it.

"I shouldn't either," came a soft voice, "but here we are, staring at the same place for the same reason. Why do you think that is?"

Mariana didn't want to look at Spencer. She was scared . . . if she did, she was sure that her unshed tears would spill over and her emotions would break down the wall that she had created to keep Spencer out of her thoughts.

"Because she's gone and she's never coming back." Mariana states, her voice as cold as the crisp air that practically bit at the exposed skin on her face. "Maybe this is us coming to realize that what we had is really over."

"Or maybe this is us realizing that we're better together," he remains calm, still standing beside her. "Neither of us enjoy changes in our lives. We used to live the same day over and over again, without even realizing what we were doing. Do you ever wonder why that is?"

Sitting down next to Mariana, he takes her silence as a means to continue. "It's because you are the only thing I know, and I'm the only thing that you know. We've grown so close that we couldn't imagine living without thinking of how we're attached at the hip. And although these past few days have proved different, you don't enjoy living your life while knowing that I'm not right behind you, encouraging you to take a daring step forward."

The girl chooses not to respond, her gaze still fixated on the "closed" sign that is displayed on the door just ahead of her. But, for some reason that she doesn't quite understand, she still listens as he goes on.

"I made a mistake by admitting everything that I did, and I'm sorry for that. But some things aren't meant to go unspoken, and sometimes our lives are supposed to change. Sometimes change is good for us, because otherwise we would continue doing the same thing that we have for our entire lives. We'd continue living the same day as we did the one before, with nothing but boring familiarity that is safe, but doesn't offer us any closure to say the least."

"Boring is what kept you safe all these years," Mariana says clearly, not hesitating as she speaks what her mind tells her to. "It's what has kept the world safe. In the past few days, I've learned some things that I never would have known if I'd have continued on the same way we used to. I'm glad that I broke away from my boundaries, but I don't regret the years that I spent teaching myself how to control the overwhelming urge that come from possessing powers as strong as mine."

Spencer's eyes fall on her, admiration dripping from his lips, "I'm so proud of you."

"I have so much more to learn," she shakes her head, "but there's so little time."

"We have the rest of our lifetimes to educate ourselves — to make mistakes, and learn from them," he pauses, gently placing a hand on her covered shoulder. And although there was a thick jacket between her skin and his, she could still feel the familiar warmth of his hand, and immediately relaxed into his touch. "I believe in you, Mari. So much more than you will ever know."

"But what if I told you that we don't have any time left?" She turns to him, her eyes gazing into his with intensity and sincerity. "What if I were to tell you in this very second that our time is up, and we have one day left to live? How would you think then?"

"I'd say that I want you to live every single second of that day in tranquility. I'd want us to go down, knowing that we had lived our short lives to the fullest extent," he smiles. "So what do you know that I don't?"

"Perhaps I, too, have made a mistake," Mariana disregards his comment, biting her trembling lip. "One that I'm afraid I can't repair — and this is me asking for forgiveness. This is my time for realization, when I tell you that the past few days have been the most antagonizing hours, minutes, and seconds of my life because I have lived through them in the agony of knowing that I shattered your heart beyond repair."

She uses her gloved hand to bring Spencer's hand off of her shoulder and into her own. She intertwines their fingers, and finds comfort in the understanding that resides in his eyes. "I allowed my emotions to get the best of me, and I ruined our friendship because I didn't want to accept the reality of our lives. I didn't want us to change — because if I were to admit to myself that you want something more from me, that our routine would be gone. I could no longer look at you the same way while knowing that your feelings aren't platonic. And I hated it.

"But I hated knowing that I hurt you even more," her voice breaks. "Maybe my father is getting to me, but I think now I understand that my response wasn't what broke your heart, my reaction was. We had lived a life of solitude before you admitted your feelings for me, and suddenly I felt as though you were going to change it. You were right, I don't like change. But I think losing my best friend is even worse than admitting that change is upon us."

Mariana's heart felt lighter now, and she wasn't as dazed as she had been before. Now that her mind was free of the burden she had placed on herself, she could finally look into Spencer's caring eyes and not feel as though he had betrayed her. Instead, she felt as though things were falling into place. Because what she didn't expect was for Spencer's lips to form a smile.

"I've missed you," Spencer says quietly, gripping her hand tightly.

"But what are we supposed to do about all of this?" Mariana questions, and suddenly all of her worrying crashes onto her again. Her lip quivers and she desperately attempts to hide it, but to no avail — Spencer sported her distress immediately, and wanted to soothe her. "Although we've come to terms with change, we're still faced with your feelings."

Mariana was forced to face the facts of reality; her life was changing. Whether the changes were good or bad was up to the way she chose to react and handle the situation. She had to open her eyes and realize that this is reality — fairytales don't exist, and she surely can't alter the ending in which she receives, no matter how many times she wished upon a shooting star.

But now Spencer, too, was beginning to realize something that he hadn't before.

His heart was supposed to have stopped the day he met her — the second his chocolate eyes found her golden ones. Gravity should have shifted, everything was supposed to have frozen in time, only letting up in the solitary moment that he realized what it had meant. She was supposed to have been his soulmate; at least that's what he had wished. And then it had come to this, the moment when he was left questioning if it ever really did happen, or if he was only convincing himself that it did.

Maybe it was the wind that day — or the beautiful sun that rested just beyond the horizon, and blushed the clouds with pastel colors of pink and orange that made everything else seem so vibrant. Or maybe it was her beach-wave hair that fell past her shoulders, and rested against her chest. Maybe it was her naturally flushed cheeks, or the freckles that dotted her button nose, or her longing heart that she practically kept on her sleeve. Or maybe it was the fact that he was in love with the idea of love.

And while Spencer stares into the eyes of a panicking Mariana, who's hands are shaking and breathing is ragged, he notices something he didn't before. He noticed that she wasn't upset about the fact that he had kept a secret from her — she was scared that it would mean she'd have to break his heart. She wasn't being selfish, only staying with him to scold him further about lying; she stayed with the intentions of being selfless, in a way to persuade the russet-skinned boy that he wasn't in love with her. To persuade him that he had no romantic feelings for her at all. Because if he did, she would've had to let him know where her heart lies — in the same place that it had since the moment she first laid eyes on him.

Her heart was with Five Hargreeves.

So as he lets out a deep sigh, he tries to make sense of it all — the tingles that erupted throughout his veins when she touched him, or the overwhelming feelings that were brought when she was near him. He tried to understand how he could've mistaken something for the best day of his life; but then he found that he had wanted it to be.

Spencer Downs had wanted someone for so long — to have what so many others had together, a person to love every day and who would love them unconditionally in return. He had attached himself to a feeling, and denied anything that dared to ruin it. So when Mariana had told him of Five, and his heart had broken, it wasn't because Mariana was his best friend and she was falling in love with someone else. It was because he had somehow told himself that she was supposed to be his, as the only person that seemed to understand him.

But how could he do it? How could he mistake something so grave, and tell everyone about it when it wasn't true?

His heart had known all along that he wasn't meant to be with Mariana Carson. But as he was wandering the wooded area next to Mariana's home that fateful night as she was practicing with water, he had been desperate for something different. He had been desperate for her, the one he was supposed to be with — although he hadn't found her yet. And it just so happened that Marian, out of all the people in the world, was on the bank that night with her head in the clouds. And she had listened to him like no one else ever would.

Now that he was facing her in this light, his warm hands wound with hers, and he releases a small sigh. "Maybe I was mistaken . . . " he trails off, watching her features fog over with confusion. "I — you are supposed to be with Five, Mariana. And I was wrong about everything between us . . . I just didn't realize it until now."

It hurt him to say it, to admit out loud that he had been wrong and Mariana Carson was a dream that he was never meant to have. It would've shattered him if it weren't for the light smile that began to make its way onto her lips. "You really mean that?"

"Of course I do," his voice is kind, unlike the many times he had gotten angry with her because of the very same reason. And that was another thing — Mariana had always managed to bring out the best in him, and showed that he had no similar qualities to his raging uncle.

"I guess I made my life into a version of a fairytale," Spencer tells her. "I shoved away all of my problems, and assumed you'd be the solution. But it was wrong of me — selfish of me to ever ask something like that of you. I have someone waiting for me somewhere, and someday I'll find her. And then I'll have my fairytale."

"Oh Spence, you have no idea how amazing you are," the girl chuckles, placing her smooth hand against his jaw. "You're everything a girl could ever ask for, and I wish for you to be just as happy as I am."

He lays his hand over her own, holding it there. Maybe if he held it there, she'd stay with him forever. His problems would be gone because she always knew how to fix them, and they would happily live out there own little piece of forever. But Mariana's forever was destined to be with someone else; someone who finally knew that she was undeniably in love with him. And Spencer, now that he was finally letting go, was ready to fix her problems.

"I know you're in love with him," he murmurs, his voice almost breaking, "because anyone with eyes can see it. I saw the way you looked at him, and I want you to be happy too, despite all of the crazy things I just told you. I think you should go find him . . . I know he's the real reason you came here, I could see it in your face when I first spoke. You were hoping that I was him."

He didn't dare say his name, afraid that his eyes might sting if he did. He was giving her up now, and damn it hurt. It ripped at his chest and made his throat burn.

"But if you don't like him so much, why would you tell me something like that?" The raven-haired girl asks, her thumb now rubbing soothing circles on his cheeks — the same way she used to when they had sleepovers and Spencer had woken up with a nightmare.

"I want to see that gorgeous smile on that cute little face of yours every day," he pauses, trying to control the tremble of his bottom lip. "So if that means I have to give you up to do it, I'd do it every single time."

Mariana's smile broke out then, brightening everything around them like he had always loved. It was the first feature he had ever noticed, and was by far his favorite. It meant that she was happy, and no other sight in the world could come close to beating it.

"Thank you, for everything. I'll call you after I get home from Five's." Mariana leans forward, pressing a lingering kiss on the warm forehead of her best friend.

It stayed there, even after she was gone. But he couldn't help but press his hand to the cold spot that remained on his cheek where her hand was once placed. And as his quiet tears escaped, he could remember the moment she had stood up, moving out of his embrace and letting her soft touch leave his face.

He wanted to change his mind, to go back to the second that he had told himself 'she is the one you've been searching for'. He wanted to tell his past self to not allow his heart to fall in too deep, because now he was facing the cold, bitter consequences of his decisions. But he loved her — so much, in fact, that he'd do anything to guarantee that she'd be able to relish in that same love.

Spencer Downs loved Mariana Carson.

He loved her so much that he let her go.

❝ omg guys only two more chapters
left to go guys, i'm so excited for you
guys to read how it ends!! does
anyone have any guesses as to the
ending i have in mind? let me know what
you thought of this chapter!! ❞