"I'm going to be honest, therapy hasn't never been great for me. This one time, a demon actually posed as a therapist to get into my head and a bunch of bad guys have done the same. I am actually at the point where even the God of Fears and Goddess of Chaos can't even fuck with me." I get comfortable in the chair opposite my latest attempt at some self development.

"Good thing I'm not a therapist, and to be honest with you, Elise, I am a big fan of yours. You saved my brother's life at the battle, and I've heard many tales of your heroics from other patients. When President Ailin approached us regarding a special project, I had to volunteer." He doesn't hide his excitement, his deep voice slightly higher as he seems genuinely interested in this.

"First of all, I can change that. Once you know me you'll be trying to work out how they got it so wrong." I frown. "Also, she marketed this as a special project? What a b-"

"I assure you, I am very professional and apart from opening that line of communication up between us, will keep it strictly business." He writes something down. "So, are you always so quick to deflect praise and put yourself down?"

"Good, wait, what?"

He reminds me of Tom Hanks. His dark eyes are bright and smiling, despite his serious face. There's a gentleness in the way he moves, a precision to them which actually reminds me of how Ailin moves. He's graceful and already has me trying to work out what I just said.

"I paid you a compliment, one any of your kind would be proud to have. You saved a life. You are a hero to many. Yet you think they've got it wrong. Why?"

"For not a therapist, you're very therapisty."

He smiles. "I'm a psychologist. Same same only different. While I did volunteer, so did many colleagues and therapists. Ailin chose me, and here we are. I've read the briefing, but that's not exactly my style. So will you please answer the question, Elise."

And that's how the next hour goes. By the end, I'm mentally and emotionally drained, while Mr Hanks, or Richard as he claims to be called, looks as fresh as when we first started. I hadn't even realised how much time had passed until he wrapped things up and we'd barely even touched on anything I thought I had wanted to talk about. Near-death experiences, realms full of people we call gods here and with the most recent events with Medusa still heavy on my brain, Richard was going to be in for it.

"So, wishing you'd never volunteered yet?" I yawned.

"No, not at all, Elise. As cliche as it may be, how did it feel to simply be free to talk."

I look at him for a second.

He hadn't really said much at all, yet somehow I spent the whole time babbling on about - what did I even say. I wasn't actually sure, but I did, maybe, feel better. About what, I don't know, but I felt something.

"Aren't you supposed to be asking me more questions like that? Did you just find a way to skip doing your job?"

Richard laughed. "Hardly. You go where you need to go. I'm here to listen. I want to help you in the present, but if you feel you need to talk about the past, how you have been, we can work through that too. I'll put the therapist hat on for a second if that helps. Clearly you have some issues with abandonment from your childhood when you were sent to the Academy, and from losing people you care about so young, to the ones you've lost recently."

"Great, we haven't even got into the actual stuff yet and already I can blame my parents for all of this." I stand up. "I knew it!"

"Same time next week then?" He asks.

"So long as you don't turn out to be a demon between now and then." I shrug. "Attempting to kill me would probably ruin this special project."

"Want me to make a note about trust issues?" He's joking, I think.

"Why not, if it isn't next week then we're bound to get there the week after!"

I leave his office and step out into the afternoon sun. It's still cold, but the sun feels warm on my face. After being in there, it feels good to be alone. No more thinking or talking, and stopping at a small cafe, there's a table in the street available. I ordered a coffee and a slice of chocolate cake, able to sit and enjoy them both until a shadow blocked the sun and as I turned around, I wondered if it was too public to have my sword sit on the table.

"Well this is a treat." Genzo practically purrs, sitting in the empty chair beside me.

"For who?"

A waitress appears to take the empty plate and smiles and Mr K-Pop himself. "Did you need anything else?"

"Coffee. Thanks." He glances my way and I shake my head, which sees her disappearing inside. "Beautiful day."

"It was."

"So much hostility. I'd almost be offended if I didn't know you so well." He smiled.

"You don't know me." I tilt my head slightly, lifting up my sunglasses. "So why are you here?"

"There's a club opening tonight, nothing too major, but I do enjoy some backroom poker."

"I bet you have a killer poker face."

"One of the best." He looks too pleased with himself.

"How does it compare to your submitting and fleeing face?" I return his smile. "I remember that one, very well."

"The way I hear it, you're not the God Killer anymore."

We stop as the waitress reappears with his coffee, and I wait as he added sugar to it while finishing my own.

"Only by name." I assure him, resting my elbows on the table as I lean in closer. "Genzo, buddy. Pal. Why are you here ruining my sunshine?"

And my chocolate cake vibes considering it had gone down easily and didn't seem eager to rejoin the world anytime soon.

"Honestly, the party. My hotel is just across the street there and when I sensed you nearby, I may have gone for a walk in the hopes of our paths crossing."

"Ah, so Fate decides to piss me off one more time then?"

"Girl, you saved my life, the lives of my people. You ended the war."

"Oh yay! This is getting better by the moment." I smile genuinely this time. "I told you so."

He rolls his eyes. "Yes, well, I wanted to come and thank you. So thank you. My kind are in your debt."

I think of Richard and the session we just had. 

Deflect. 

No compliments.

I'll show him.

"You're welcome." I sit back in my chair and put my sunglasses back on. "Now go away or I'll tip off the police and ruin your party."

He laughs, which is funny in itself because I'm serious. When I don't laugh with him, he seems to get that message. Instead he sips his coffee, and settles in.

"Surely I earned the pleasure of your company for a few more minutes? It is such a beautiful day."

"What do you want? You'd never consider my company pleasurable."

"I hear things. Some are true, for here you are. Why did you abandon your throne? Leave an imposter wearing the crown and the title you earned?"

"I didn't want it. Simple. This is my home, and the God Killer belongs there. She isn't an imposter, in time you will see that."

"Is she really the daughter of Hecate?" He asks, sounding generally interested.

"She is." I can see him thinking it over. "I spoke to the goddess myself. How else do you think I know?"

His eyes widened slightly. "You went into the depths of the Underworld, found her, received this news and then just left?"

"It was even less dramatic than it was the first time. I didn't have to be sacrificed."

"I wonder what you would have achieved had you stayed. Any who commands those Powers in the way you seem to-"

"I don't command. I just ask really, really nicely." I shrug. "Most of the time they just go with it. Maybe you should give it a go sometime?"

"Of course they do." This really seemed to puzzle him.

Across the road, two bodyguard types appeared and one waved in a not so subtle way to get out attention.

"Friends of yours?" I ask.

"Indeed, that is my sign it's time to go." He stood, bowing as he did so. 

"Oh, while you're here. I'd also like to make it clear the Seer, Matt, is out of bounds. Understood?"

"Understood." He frowns, yet it doesn't last as he bows again. "Pleasure as always, girl."

"I wish I could say the same." I let out a breath as he leaves, and keep my hands in my lap under the table as I can't stop them from shaking.

"You okay? Need anything?" The waitress asks.

"Just the bill, thanks." I sip some water while I wait, constantly checking in the direction the Oni demons went.

A few enquiries and an hour later, his story seems to check out. Either way, I don't hang around. I don't have anything to fear, not from him, not really yet I'm still cautious. Once I'm happy we aren't being watched or followed, it's time to head to Raya's.

Legitimately this time.

"Ok, my little Blueberry, I think we're all good now so how about we go see-" I stop, slowly looking down to where my hand is on my stomach. "Oh, fuck."

I'm at Raya's in a second, and she looks up from where she's sitting with Olivia on the floor. The smile vanishes as I look at her.

"What happened?" She gets up, checking me over. "Are you hurt?"

She pulls my hand away from where it's stuck against my gut.

"Elise?"

"I- I-" Olivia comes tumbling over, arms up for a cuddle. "I'm pr- pregnant."

"What?" Raya freezes, looking at my stomach and then at my face. She does this a few times while Oliva grabs both our legs, demanding attention. "Oh Ellie!"

She scoops up Olivia in one motion, grabbing me with her free arm as we all hug. Olivia laughs excitedly, smooshing her wet lips against my cheek and I'm positive I feel her licking me at one point.

"Are we not happy?" Raya pauses a few minutes later, still amusing Olivia as she dances in a circle with her. "You look like you've just been told someone's died."

"I spoke to it." I sit down on the floor, and Olivia is trying to get free to come to me.

"Spoke to what?" Raya takes a seat in front of me and I barely manage to react as Olivia throws herself at me. I sit her on my leg and she begins to stroke my hair. "Ellie, what's going on?"

"It. The thing. The baby. I spoke to it."

"Did it, um, talk back?" She asks hesitantly.

"No? Do they do that?"

"No. Sorry, stupid question. That's totally normal, I do it all the time. I'm sure everyone does. It's like the first official step of creating that bond or something." Her smile returned. "What did you call it?"

"How do you know it had a name?"

"They all do. Olivia was, still is, our little Pumpkin. This one is Muffin. I don't know why, it just is." She pats her belly.

"I read this thing, that's all. It said it was as big as a blueberry. Then I called it that. Have I officially gone insane?"

"Aw, that's cute!" Raya gets teary; I don't know why. "Your little blueberry!"

"That, that needs to stop. Right now." I warn.

She pouts, but keeps going. "How far along are you?"

"Um, like, seven or so weeks?"

"Wow. This makes sense. So much sense. You've been acting so weird and oh my god, is that what was going on at Girls Night? Kara knows? Before me? Does Penny?" Raya suddenly slaps her hands over her mouth and gasps a little too excitedly. "What did Cain do when you told him?"

My mouth goes dry.

"Kara walked in on me at a bad time, that's all but yes, she knows. Penny doesn't. Just you and Kara, and-" I hesitate.

"And Cain. Right?" I don't answer, fussing with Olivia's sock that's fallen off. "Elise."

"No. He doesn't. Not yet. I just, I can't seem to get it out. Is there ever a right time?"

"Yeah, there is. Typically before this starts to happen." She runs a hand over her own stomach, the bulge there unmissable. "Or you know, you give birth."

"Really? People do that? You don't just come home one day with a newborn and be like, surprise! I didn't just get fat." I roll my eyes.

"That's not even funny. Seven weeks, I wouldn't put it off any longer Ellie." She warns. "Luckily you aren't getting morning sickness. That would be hard to- you are, aren't you?"

"I am positive it's actually just some kind of parasite and already trying to kill me. This week especially has been hell." I admit. "Plus, the lying and the sneaking around and-"

"Are you hearing yourself right now?"

"Kind of. Choosing not to, now I can hear how bad that sounds out loud."

Shaking her head she gets up and goes down the hall, reappearing with a box in her hand which she throws at me, possibly at my head but I'll judge it as a bad throw. I look at the box, keeping it out of Olivia's reach.

"Hopefully it doesn't get any worse. These should help." She huffs.

"Ginger pills?"

"It'll settle your stomach. Help you be a semi-functioning human. You might even be able to eat again." Raya sighs. "I get what you're going through, I do. I went through it all too. Look at our world Ellie. Look at what we do. None of us will ever just be okay with bringing a new life into this chaos. Thing is, I went through it all with Keiran. He had his own issues to get through too. Cain isn't a temporary boyfriend, he isn't a one night stand that is suddenly way complicated. You've got something special here, please don't push him away, not when you need him the most."

She's right.

She's so right.

I already know all of this and I don't even know why I haven't done it yet.

"So, talking to it isn't the first sign of complete madness?" I ignore the way she face palms, and can't stop myself from laughing as Olivia copies her.

"You will talk to them like they are already here until they are, and then you will talk to them in third person or like a fully comprehending adult until such time they can talk back and you don't actually want to hear what they have to say." She laughs. "It is normal. Relax."

"How do you know what I've got is so special? What if he just thinks, its like a way to trap him or I'm trying to rush things or that-" I start to panic again and Raya sets Olivia up on a path towards her books.

"Because I've seen enough of you two to get it. Plus, you know, he gave up everything to be with you, not forgetting all that time he spent sending puppy dog eyes in your direction. To be honest, he used to scare me, until I saw how he was with you." Raya hesitated, biting her lip slightly before she decided to just say it. "It's different to how you were with Apollo. Watching you two at the wedding, and when you're both here, it's nice. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. There was always this tension before, like you were always waiting for the next argument or something. He came by yesterday, I'm sorry he asked I'd seen you and you said about going to the other realm, so I just assumed he would be with you. You haven't been away at all  have you?"

"He isn't like Apollo." I agree. "No, I'm sorry, I just wanted to hide. From everyone. I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid, you're just-"

"Stupid."

She shrugged. "Okay. stupid it is. Just go sort it out with him. He was so sad. Elise. I'm here whenever you need me, any time, but you have to go and see him."

I say goodbye to Olivia and head home. I'd realised a few things today, and not all of it was thanks to Richard. Then again, maybe it was and he was just that good I didn't even realise it. I look around the apartment and try to imagine what changes would happen here, if any. Maybe we'd go somewhere new. Babies didn't need a lot of stuff.

One of those swinging chairs could be put between the lounges, a playmat on the floor by the coffee table. A couple of brightly coloured singing bears like Olivia had would be beside it, maybe a few blocks and a spinning thing. Going into the bedroom, we'd have a bassinet by the bed, maybe add a rocking chair to that corner near the wardrobe.

For a minute I'm there. Enjoying the sunrise which will cover that part of the room first as it becomes lighter. A baby wrapped up in my arms as I gently rock back and forth. I move to the bed, stretching out as I lay down and close my eyes. I can see the three of us in bed, a lazy morning with coffee, tickling tiny toes and just taking in how happy we were. My hand rests on the hardest section of my abdomen and I wonder how much she knows.

Did he see what I saw?

Can she feel how much we're going to love her?

"Okay, little one. We can do this." I whisper. We.

I get lost in the daydream, a vision of a future I hadn't known I wanted. I could see my reflection in the mirror changing. I'd soften in places, my belly would grow. I thought about how Melissa had sat in the waiting room, rubbing her bump, eyes closed, humming a song and saw me doing the same.

What tune will I sing to you little Blueberry?

Will you feel my hands, and know I'm thinking of you?

"I hope that smile is because you're thinking about me." Cain moves to lay beside me and I roll onto my side to face him.

"Not quite, but this one is." I smile easily, looking into his eyes yet he turns his gaze down to watch our hands link together. "Hey, you."

He leans closer, kissing me for a brief second. "I'm glad you're here. I was thinking I'd have tie you down at some point."

"It's still early." A flicker of a smile appears at that. "What's up?"

"We need to talk." He says dryly.

"I agree, we do. You first."

He takes a deep breath, finally making eye contact. Anxiety returns, slowly destroying all my good thoughts from earlier.

"I need you to be honest with me." I nod. "You've been non-existent lately. Never where you say you're going to be, forgetful. I can't ignore how sick you're looking. You aren't eating. I thought I'd surprise you at lunch but your Mum said you hadn't been there for like a week. I saw Raya yesterday and she said she hasn't seen you either, not since you told them you were going to the other realm for, and I quote, a bit."

Guilt took over, which was even worse.

"You just come and go, and even when you're here, you're not here. I touch you and you move away, I try to talk to you and you aren't listening." He sighed, sitting up. "Nearly three weeks of this, Elise. I've tried, I let you have some space. I keep waiting for you to talk to me but here we are. What is going on?"

"I'm-" Gods, not again. I sit up, thankful he doesn't pull away when I take his hand again. "I'm, I'm sorry."

"I'm not asking for an apology."

"But you deserve one." I inch closer, resting my forehead on his chest. "You also deserve to know. You need to know what's been going on. I don't know how to say it, I've been trying and I can't and please, please just, don't be mad."

Those are the wrong words. I know as soon as I say it, but I can't take it back. His hand feels cold in mine now, all the warmth from his body seems to disappear and I risk looking up to find his face void of any emotion. His eyes are dark and just as unreadable.

"Cain, I- I-"

"Yes?" He prompts, his patience disappearing with each second that passes.

My throat is dry, burning as it seems to tighten. I can't swallow, and my heart is pounding so damn hard my body trembles with each beat. Reaching out, I hold onto his shirt in an attempt to keep him there. He can't move if I'm holding onto him, he can't run, he can't leave. I stare at his chest, at the buttons - one has a loose thread.

I see the three of us in bed.

I see Cain rocking her to sleep in the chair in the corner.

I see Cain on the floor with him on the playmat.

"Elise, please." It's not a warning or a hurry up. He's as scared as I am.

"I've been keeping a secret from you, a big secret actually." I whisper, looking up at him again. "And I'm so sorry."

He holds his breath as I hold mine.

It's now or never, little Blueberry.

"I'm pregnant."

_____________________

And there it is!