Dear iBob,

Well, as if my life wasn't complicated enough, Alfie now has himself a companion. A pet? A girlfriend? No, a companion - a FRIEND. It's weird having a teeny tiny snake again. I remember when Alfie was this big and gosh, he grew up too fast. She's sleeping now, wrapped around my arm with her head resting on my shoulder. 

I hope Alfie being 'good' isn't a fluke and she ends up bad or corrupts him. We had a talk about his ability to listen and follow my commands. I couldn't stay serious with him, I'm just too happy he is okay. I ordered a whole cow carcass to be delievered from a farm a few miles from here, which he has now gorged himself with. He also ended up with a quarter of the Academy's soft drink. Now he is asleep too, spread out around me in the sun. 

He is healed now, Cleo, no, the girls creator did a number on him, but he's going to fine. What am I going to call her? Daisy? You can't really name a snake Daisy. She doesn't look like a Daisy either. How did I name Alfie? Who the hell names a snake Alfie? 

Ruby? Her marks kind of look like rubies. No.

We're so fucked. I don't want to know what is next and well, the attack last night was good for one thing, showing us our flaws. They won't be back tonight. I just know it. My gut instinct is taking on a life of its own and, oh yeah, about that - I'm going to get Alfie to try something for me when he wakes up. 

Everyone is asleep now.

I should be too, but I can't. Alfie gave us some of his spit, turns out my parents can use it as well. It reacts differently to me though. I turn hyperactive, they just heal up. Jerks.

Well, Alfie just woke up, burped and the lump of the cow has already started to disappear from his middle. I better do this before everyone is up and I have company or a dozen voices telling me it's a bad idea or something.

Elise Bunting.
(snake whisperer extraordinaire)