The past two weeks have been alright. All three of my beautiful mates have been here, and we have spent a lot of time together. Brent is still making strides to prove himself as an ally and I’m forever grateful that the pack is slowly coming around but not entirely. Joseph is being Joseph and trying as hard as he can to make up for lost time for all the months he missed with us and Gary has become Switzerland. He’s completely removed himself from the madness that is the mound of pent-up emotions.

“Well don’t you look happy.” Kody said wiggling his eyebrows, and I bit my lip. Was it that obvious?

“I wouldn’t say that.” I said, looking out at the forest beyond the pack. Even if things seemed perfect, they’re not. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, walking up next to me and sat down, turning his attention to me.

“It’s Gary, he’s having a hard time with Brent and Joseph. Although in no way shape or form I blame him, it’s just putting a strain on the bond y’know? It just sucks. I love them all so much and Amar wants things to work out, but I told him we can’t push them. It’s not our right to force our mates to get along.” I sighed and joined Kody on the swing on the patio. 

“Maybe you should go on vacation. Look, Brent, being here influences us all, especially those of us with our own demons. I myself know it will take more than three months for everything to work out with the pack and Brent alone. I lost a year and a half of bonding time with my kids. I missed all of Amilia's firsts and missed Dexter waking up. I missed so much with everyone because of Brent. So while I’m being civil with him, it’s going to be a while before I can forgive him let alone trust him.” He said and hurt could be seen in his eyes at the thought of his mates going through hell and kids for so long. 

I understand, I really do. It's my own mate for goodness sake and it hurts to know what he has done even if it was some witch but also not. I'm not going to believe it was all the witch, he knew what he was doing before them and after Riley died. I'm not an idiot, I know it's going to take a lot of work and time before I can trust and forgive him. 

“I get it, I do. All this is just so confusing and stressful. I’m just so done.” I’m a God, I should be able to handle this but I ugh…

“We’re a pack, we’ll get through it together. Go be with your mates, get packed and just go. Don’t even worry about where you’re going, make it a weekend road trip. I'm your best friend, you were there for me at my lowest point as I was with you and it will always be that way. So take my advice and go away for a weekend, no communication with anyone but each other and no TV. Use that time to connect with your mates, spend one on one time with each and as a whole. It will do wonders for your bonds individually and as a whole, trust me." He smiled. I trusted him with my life, he’s like a brother to me. He’s so much wiser and it helps when I get like this. He's mine, no one else can have my Kody.

“I’ll do it, thank you Kody. Are you hungry?” I asked after we hugged, I missed him so much.

“I am kinda, what are y’all having?” He asked. 

"I have no idea. Brent likes to cook when he's off work. He said it helps him relax. He's a pretty good cook. How are my niece and nephews?" I asked and he smiled a bright smile. 

"Wonderful. Dexter wants to try out for soccer and Corey along with Amilia are just all over the place. I'm so relieved she's ok and is doing so much better. You have no idea how scared I was all the time with her. Seeing her running and playing, eating normally is just something I didn't see happening honestly. I hate myself for even thinking that she wouldn't make it but look at her now. She is so strong and has done so much more than I thought possible. Dexter, he's thriving in school and has so many friends and is such a loving kid. He knows that I adopted Amilia and we talked things out about how he feels about it, why he left her like he did and even though he gave birth to her, he said he will gladly take on the role of a big brother instead of the mama role. We will tell her the truth when she gets older but for now things are good the way they are. I never did ask but how did you end up with three mates exactly?"  I love hearing him talk about his kids, he has so much love for them that it's a little overwhelming and I can feel how happy and relieved he is.

"Well Joseph was my first mate and when he died, I guess the moon Goddess made Brent and I mates so he's my second mate and Gary well we formed our own mate bond. I didn't expect anything less though with our family. We need to get together when all of us are in a better place and do something. I missed my brother." I said to him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek. I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder as we walked inside the house.

"We will, I missed you too Altan." He said quietly as we walked into the kitchen seeing Brent standing at the counter, shirtless for some reason and fuck if he doesn’t have a nice toned stomach and chest with broad shoulders. I haven't seen him like this before and he's making it a little hard to focus. 

Being the unintentional tease he is, bent over and his muscular ass was so perfect in those boxer briefs he loves so much that I could see perfectly through his tight basketball shorts, leaving nothing to my imagination. 

“Bro, the entire pack can smell your arousal at this point.” Kody said as he winked and walked over to the living room after saying hi to Brent and left me a blushing mess. 

“Hey Altan, I didn’t hear you come in.” Brent said as he faced the front door. My house had an open floor plan. The front door leads to this open space with the living room to the left and the kitchen off center and a bit to the right and big to fit all of us if we ever decide to cook together. In the back of the house are four guestrooms and two bathrooms, upstairs had the master bedroom and a few more guestrooms. 

“Hey you, you seem to be in the zone, you didn’t even know I was home.” I chuckled and wrapped my arms around his neck. He smelled so good and looked even better my God he looked hot as hell. 

“You know how it is when I get cookin’ I zone out so everything is perfect and how I want it.” He smiled and I nodded. It’s like he goes into this trance and blocks the world out. It’s just him in the kitchen. 

“What are you cooking anyway? You never tell me and I have to wait until dinner just to find out.” I said and he laughed. He always makes dinner this game of ‘what did I cook’. His laughter always sounds so beautiful and it always makes me feel like I’m in a trance when he laughs. 

“You’ll have to wait and see, dinner should be finished by the time Gary and Joseph get home.” He said with a smirk and kissed me passionately which is new for him to do, he's usually so reserved with his actions towards me, especially anything remotely sexual. He let me go and smiled, looking into my eyes and I put my forehead on his and enjoyed the moment with him. 

"I like this." He whispered, not wanting to pop our personal bubble. 

"I do too. It feels nice having you in my arms like this." I whispered back and kissed him this time, walking him backwards where he was against the counter and devoured his mouth like I was starving. I grabbed his asscheeks and he moaned, giving me the perfect opportunity to slide my tongue into his mouth and I moaned at how amazing he tasted. 

"I want you Altan." He said and I was stunned, from the looks of it he was to from how shocked his face was.

"I want you too Brent, so badly." Amar said and Brent shivered as Amar decided to put my hand down Brent's shorts to touch his soft cheek and tease him. 

"Mm Amar." Brent moaned in my ear and moved his hips into mine and my knees almost gave out from how good it felt. 

"We can continue this later if you want." Brent said and I stopped him and myself to look at him. He looked so sexy with his swollen lips from our kissing, his cheeks flushed and his hair messed up, hard and panting right in front of me.

"Are you sure you want to complete the mating?" I asked him because once we mate, that's it. There's no going back.

"I'm sure. I want to be yours completely Altan. I love you and I haven't been more sure of anything in my entire life. I crave to be with you, I dream of being with you and I want to make those dreams a reality. Do you want me?" 

"God yes I do and I love you too Brent, so much. I just wanted to make sure you were ready. I want it to be special for us so just wait for a little bit, I'll make those dreams come true." I kissed him again, not able to get enough of him before letting him get back to dinner before it burns. 

When he went back to cooking, I joined Kody in the living room and talked as we watched TV for a bit.

When Gary and Joseph got home we all sat down for dinner including Kody and I smiled as they all got lost in conversation with him. 

“So since Joseph is going back to Oregon, Kody and I have decided the four of us should go on vacation. We've all been working extremely hard and I think we deserve it.” I said looking at my mates. They all had questioning looks probably realizing the underlying meaning behind the vacation.

They all feel the strain in our bond in different ways. Brent is volunteering his time more away from us. Gary is taking more shifts, I’ve been surrounding myself with the pack kids and doing my Beta duties ten fold. Joseph well, he’s been spending less time at the pack and more with me at the school and daycare center because the tension is too strong to bear on his own. 

“I have been working at the hospital a lot lately.” Gary said playing with his fingers and biting his lip. 

“The repair shop is being renovated so I have time off for a bit.” Brent said, smiling. 

“It’s the weekend so we don’t have much to do.” Joseph speaks for him and I. It’s perfect timing and I never get sick or take a personal day so everyone would probably force me to go.

“You all definitely deserve and need it. The pack isn’t helping the tension between you. Go have fun and reconnect as a whole. You’ve all spent time with each other individually. This will help you bond as a unit, together. Ethan agrees that this is no place for you four right now with everything that’s happened in your past and what has happened recently so he finds it best that you all just go away for the weekend and do whatever it takes to bond without things influencing you all.” Kody said and I smiled. Leave it to him to break the awkward silence and tell us like it is. 

After dinner, Kody left and we all got to packing for our vacation or road trip. Whatever it is we’re doing. 

“Need some help?” Gary asked as he came from the bathroom. 

“I’m ok love, are you ok? You seem lost and confused in that head of yours.” I said pulling him to the bed and we sat down. 

“I’m just conflicted. Will this vacation actually help us or break us. I mean what Kody said is true, we can get along separately but as for together, I’m hesitant. I still feel overwhelmed with the Joseph situation and him being back and then Brent still being here. I feel as if I have to look over my shoulder. I just don’t know how to feel.” He said with a heavy sigh and I hugged him. 

“I think that’s the point of all this so we can be better than this. No one is expecting us to be whole and mated to each other but anything is better than pushing each other away after all the work we put into getting to know each other individually because what’s the point we got to know each other and we can’t go beyond that. We have to do this for ourselves more than anything so we can later work on being together.” I said and he nodded. 

“Ok, I trust you. I just hope I can trust myself to do what’s right for us all.” He said and left with his duffle bag and possibly taking it to the car.

Hopefully after leaving the pack for a weekend, we’ll feel less pressure.