"What the Hell happened out there, Ren? You know Snoke won't be happy that you intervened." Hux demanded after aggressively grabbing a handful of the Lord's robes and pulling him aside. "As if he's not already displeased enough," he groaned with exasperation, using his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose . "I truly believe he'll have your head before the week even comes to a close."

With a scowl, Kylo tore Hux from his grip, though even with the sudden action, Hux hardly batted an eyelash, infuriating Kylo even more than already so. "I fear I'm becoming soft, General," he finally admitted grimly. "I should have left her there, but I didn't."

Already prepared to spit back a retort, Hux stopped himself. Their bickering would get them no where, he was sure. Despite himself, the general let out an irritable sigh and instead offered up advice, "When the Supreme Leader asks, tell him that her rescue was for the sake of the Order, not her safekeeping." Kylo nodded. Hux could visibly see the change in his features  as the Knight seemed to think through the plan within his own mind. "That should ensure your own amnesty.  Hers however, I cannot guarantee." He added, shifting his head in the direction of a barely conscious and bloody Alema Rar.

Kylo blinked and within those milliseconds, Hux just barely caught a glimpse of something he'd never have expected from the Knight -sympathy. Hux's muddy green eyes grew round with worry as he gingerly allowed his hand rest atop Kylo's shoulder. "My God, Ren. Killing Solo must have really gotten under your skin if he still has you questioning your allegiances even from beyond the grave."

The Knight was taken aback by the sudden gentleness, his attention quickly shooting to the General's soft touch. From it, a warmth began to flutter up through Kylo's shoulder, spreading to his chest and becoming the closest thing to comfort his broken soul had experienced in what felt like a lifetime. Kylo's memories flashed back to a recollection that was unknown to him, yet somewhere he knew it was undoubtedly his own. An image of white. A feeling of embrace, understanding. "I know." said a voice within his head. His voice. His mind protested. No. There would be no attachments formed between the two. He wouldn't allow it. He was stronger than to let himself succumb to petty human emotions. Thus, a sudden realization slipped into his thoughts. This, all of it, was Hux's fault. It had to be. Who else could be put to blame?

His face contorted, every trace of sympathy gone and replaced with outrage, Kylo knew that the threat of sentiment settling within his heart had to be eliminated. "How dare you speak that name to me and accuse me of weakness, you insignificant cockroach," Kylo snarled through gritted teeth, drawing out the last words as if acid was leaking from his mouth. At that moment, Hux let out a sharp gasp as he slowly began to descend up into the air. As instinct kicked in, Hux's arms thrashed wildly in the air. A moment later, his movements soon gave way to fingers clawing desperately at his throat, begging for air. "Han Solo means nothing to me." Neither do you.

With that, Kylo released his mental choke hold on the General, causing him to slam to the cold, hard floor below, coughing and sputtering out his foulest curses. Blood had begun to trickle down his lip from the impact, tainting his pale skin with a steady stream of crimson. Still recovering from the shock, Hux proceeded to take in as many deep breathes as he could muster, savouring the sensation of an open airway, though irritated by the reeking scent of iron lingering beneath. With nostrils flaring in wrath, he stared up at the man standing above him. "Clearly, he does. Considering you still throw a tantrum every time someone such as mutters his name," Hux managed to daringly gasp. "You're just a scared child, Ren." he spat. Anger still pulsating violently within him, Kylo took a challenging step forward but Hux only frowned, "Kill me, do whatever you feel is necessary. It won't change the fact that the Light is still strong within you and you can't fight it."

Kylo's eyes blazed with fury as he bent down to be level with Hux. "Oh I won't kill you, General. That would be far too easy. No, your own failure will do that itself. Snoke already holds his doubt for you and your skills." Hux swallowed, not daring to avert his gaze from Kylo's face. "I was not the only one who disappointed him on Starkiller," Kylo added with a distasteful smirk. Though still caught up in the moment, Hux couldn't help but take note of Kylo's aversion to the comment regarding his abilities.

"Sir, are you in need of my assistance?" queried Phasma, taking a questionable step forward after appearing beneath the doorway. She raised an eyebrow beneath her helmet at the sight in front of her. Hux was strewn across the floor, with his cheeks flushed and his brows knitted in anger. 

Kylo did not face her, still engrossed in Hux, "That will not be necessary, Captain." His brown eyes trailed over Hux's expression for one more lingering moment before hoisting himself up to a standing position and striding off. With him out of sight, Phasma sighed and bent down to position herself beside Hux. Next, off came her helmet and short blonde hairs quickly fell into place atop her head. A thoughtful gaze intermingling with hints of pure curiosity danced among her features, taking in all that they could about the emotions running rampant across Hux's face. Without saying a word, Phasma lifted the General's chin to asses what damage had or had not been done. 

"I'm fine, Phasma." Hux snapped, swatting her hand away, earning himself a glare that could stop the Resistance all by itself. The General sighed apologetically, releasing the tension he hadn't realized he had been holding within his shoulders. Phasma pursed her lips and bent her head with an utmost sincerity. To his surprise, her usually stern baby blues offered an uncharacteristically caring deepness that seemed to speak a thousand words. 

She stood, towering over him, then extended an arm in service. Hux latched on as he was sent flying upwards to a standing position. Phasma unlatched their grip and nodded, the familiar seriousness making a return to her features. "Wipe the blood away and return to your station, General. Don't give him the luxury of success." Hux immediately did as he was told. Skin cleared, he was able to peer up in enough time to catch the smallest glimpse of a smile present on the Captain's face before it fled underneath the cover of darkness thrown upon it from her helmet. 

Kylo thundered down the halls, grumbling in irritation when his his hand was unable to pass through his hair. His breaths were coming in rapid, angry bursts, but he still refused to remove the mask, unwilling to admit the previous encounter had irked him. In his mind, Kylo cursed himself for feeling so. His heart wrenched in guilt, yet the voice inside his head loudly commended his actions. 

So deep within his thoughts, Kylo barely noticed the storm trooper coming to walk at his side. Even with their athletic build, the trooper seemed hardly able to keep pace with the Knight, helping fuel Kylo's already inflated ego. "Your presence has been requested back in the medical ward, my Lord." Announced the soldier whose gun was held tight across his chest in perfect uniform. For a quick moment, Kylo felt yet another pang in his chest, green with envy at the trooper's simplistic life. He woke up each morning and served the Order without a single doubt present in his mind. No voices echoing back and forth, no pull to the light, tugging at his heart strings, and certainly no General Hux going about and ruining everything he had stood for. 

"Sir?" Came the trooper, snapping him from his reflection. Kylo simply nodded in response, sending the other man off in the opposite direction, relief radiating out from his armor clad body now that he no longer had to strain to keep up with his superior's long, decisive steps. 

Upon his arrival, Kylo's eyes immediately shot to the one drop of colour in the blindingly white room. In the far corner, a vat of bubbling, clear liquid held the submerged body of Alema Rar. The stark lapis of her skin made everything pale in comparison, though from there another sight caught his attention. Careful, white lines traced her body in clumps, replacing the raggedy gashes that had taken its place in a previous time. "Master, Ren. The Supreme Leader insisted we remove Lady Rar from the chamber early. He also asked that you impose the memory wipe yourself," said a doctor as soon as Kylo took his place beside the other nurses that were accompanying them. 

Kylo's blood ran icy cold and his heart skipped a beat. Nonetheless, he stared ahead at her floating, incapacitated body. "What are you waiting for then? Bring her to me," he ordered. The staff obliged, withdrawing her from the Bacta Tank. Her skin was plastered in the thick blue substance, making her appear to be shimmering in the intense light. Kylo took in a deep breath and spread his glove covered fingers over Alema's temples. Focusing intently, he began to delve inside her mind. Scenes slammed into his vision like a riptide, latching on and dragging him away into the deeper crevices of her memories. He wanted to make the wipe clean, easy, but Snoke's eerie voice seemed to interrupt his plans. Only what needs to be gone. Kylo knew precisely what Snoke meant, even though he wished he did not. An order was an order, he reminded himself, and he would not disappoint this time. Not again. Not ever. 

There. Blackness slowly fading into light as eyes blinked open to see a face, his face, covered in mud and the remnants of the slayed beast. He was running hopelessly through the foliage, concern laced deep into his brows. Weakness. Came Snoke's voice once more. Kylo shuddered, then felt the memory begin to dissolve, forever lost at the hands of Kylo Ren. 

He flicked through more volumes of skillfully cataloged moments, each one darker than the last. Those were all to be kept as commanded by the Supreme Leader. Anything to feed Alema's burning hatred for the world was to remain in place or at the very least altered to meet specific needs. Any trace of happiness was to be extracted and done away with, therefor making the ultimate soldier. She held on tight to the power surging within her system, but without the attachments that came with it, empowering her where Kylo was weak. Though no matter what strengths she possessed, Alema could never match the raw power that resided inside Ren.

As he felt himself begin to slip back into reality, Kylo braced himself for exit. Around him, everything began to melt into onyx. "You and I, until the end, right?" A voice broke the silence, pulling him back into the depths. A dreadfully young Twi'Lek woman whose blue eyes were filled to the brim with hope and wonderment lay on her back, gazing out a window and into the twinkling expanse of a far away galaxy. Kylo knew those expressions. He knew her. Or at least he did, maybe in another life. 

"Till our last breath." Came another speaker, equally optimistic, making Kylo avert his attention from the girl down to another. The other woman's face was also untouched by age, though in her eyes, he saw an otherworldly sense of weariness. Kylo reached out his hand, desiring to take the girl in his arms and subdue her in a never ending embrace. Just inches away from making contact, he was forcefully ripped away and thrust back into the void, shooting back into the present.

Kylo waited, but nothing came. Never had he wanted to see the blank, sterile walls of the hospital so terribly. In this moment, it seemed so unreachable, like it was never even a real place to begin with.This couldn't be right, he thought. But then it came to him, the never ending expanse of white. Kylo broke into a sprint, his legs carrying him faster than he ever thought possible. There it was, the light, the only thing that could break him free from the darkness clouding his vision. Kylo plunged through the barrier and was met with a slap of frosty air. He was still unmistakably trapped. 

He fell to the ground, his face coming to contact with a sheet of wet snow. Coughing, he rolled over at the faint sound of yelling in the distance. "Ren! What are you doing? Get up!" Kylo would recognize that voice from anywhere, but the same could not be said for this memory. He quickly glanced around at his surroundings and noticed the pure white snow beneath him was tainted in scarlet. His face began to burn with a searing sensation of pain and further below, Kylo took notice of the worst of his injuries. His abdomen felt as if it was being torn apart from his body entirely. Most of the blood was pooling out from around this gash in particular. He moved a shaky hand over to the opening, fingers ghosting over the soaked black garment shielding the wound. 

Kylo closed his eyes, allowing the pain to take over him, not caring anymore that he was ensnared inside this dream, this nightmare, this.... whatever it was."My God, Ren. No. What have you done?" Came his voice, close by now. He dropped to his knees, snow spraying up to sooth the burning laceration from the sudden impact. The General then hunched over Kylo's unmoving body, hands lingering across every fresh, bloody wound ranging from his slashed face to his obliterated side. 

"Ren?"

"No..."

"Ren!"

His brown, doe eyes flitted open, meeting the softening comfort of green. Too weak to stop it, Kylo's mind drifted to the viridescent stretch of Takodana's forests. He remembered entire days wasted away with his father-no, Han Solo, running through the woodland, branches slapping their bare knees and laughter erupting from their throats as they fled the castle. He remembered the golden loot obtained from gambles spilling out their pockets and onto the grassy floor. In the distance, the ensemble of angry howls bellowed out from those unfortunate enough to bet against the infamous Solo duo. 

"Kylo..." A gloved hand began to inch closer to his frozen face, snapping him from the memory. Out of instinct, Kylo's hand erupted from its place in the snow to catch it, holding Hux's wrist firmly in place.

He coughed, clearing his groggy throat, "General Hux,"

Hux's tone was urgent, distressed, straying far from the usual stern sophistication Kylo had grown accustomed to. "Ren, we need to-" he sputtered before getting cut off by Kylo's own delusion induced muttering.

"Hux, ha ha." He began to chuckle, though it came out pained. "I did it." Hux tilted an eyebrow, becoming more and more aware of the planet imploding beneath them. "I killed Han Solo. Ha ha ha ha ha." Kylo couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He had done it. He had won. There was no more room for the light inside his heart. "I killed him..." He repeated, unaware of the General's face falling in despair for the state of the man below him. Hux pursed his lips, then slid his hand beneath Kylo's neck, heaving him upwards so that his head was now leveled with his own."Hux... I killed my father..." From there, General Hux allowed his other hand to make its way underneath the crevice of Ren's knees, hoisting the lanky man into a bridal style carry.

"Hux, I think I need to rest." Kylo finally sighed after a moment of utter silence.

The General paused, still steadily making his way towards the awaiting ship. "I know, Ren."

It all came at him like a rival in a boxing ring. Kylo remembered this moment clearly, but this wasn't how it had all happened. It couldn't have been. He could recall the snow, the pain, Hux, surely. But not this Hux. There were no looks of understanding or care in his variant. From what he knew, Hux was simply there because he had to be. He was there because Snoke instructed it. This Hux, however seemed to have a deeper reasoning as to why he was here. Sure, he was commanded, but Kylo knew as well as any that Hux could have left him there, bleeding out in the exploding wasteland. There could be no blame put upon him for loosing the Knight had he been killed by Rey or even the planet for that matter. He didn't though. The thought-to-be heartless General Hux had come back for him in the midst of destruction to pick him up and carry his worthless body through the blistering cold and to safety, risking his own life in the process to save the childish tantrum of a man who treated him with only the lowest regard. How could he have missed this? The cogs in Kylo's brain began to spin, hopelessly contemplating the likelihood of forgetting such an eventful moment. There were holes in his memory from this night, sure, but this much could not have escaped his mind. There was no way. Unless...  

Before he could finish that thought, Kylo felt as if the life was being sucked out of him. He was torn away from the scene, and propelled back into reality. Once outside, occupying his physical body felt strange after wading so deep inside Alema's pool of remembrance. Not to mention, the surprising resurface of his own forgotten moments. He huffed out an unsteady breath then excused himself from the room, leaving Alema alone, unknowing of the events that had just taken place. Kylo soon found himself treading wearily to the Officers' meeting room. Displayed at the center of the great table was a set of fine crystal, housing exactly what Kylo's desires had craved. The lid was removed with a simple flick of the wrist, hoisting itself wide open, offering up its contents with welcoming arms to the man standing  dejectedly across the room. The amber fluid was smooth and untouched inside its glass casing. Straightaway, Kylo moved forward and took a long swig, sending the whiskey cascading down his throat in a single, burning gulp. 

Minutes, though it felt like hours, had passed and the bottle's contents were already halfway depleted. Determined to devour the entire bottle himself,  Kylo felt no concern for the sweet tingling  of intoxication beginning to rampage through his bloodstream. Under the drink's spell, a mission formulated in his head. Still chugging, Kylo stumbled down the hall, destination in mind.

He pounded on the silver door, unsure whether or not the resident would answer his calls. Kylo persisted even after failure, determined to get through to the person of interest. At last, the entry unlatched and the tenant peered out apprehensively. "What do you want, Ren?" hissed Hux.

Kylo slumped against the doorway, a meager smile creeping across his lips. "I came to apologize, General." 

"Get out." 

The gap between the two was now being closed by the doors sliding shut. Just in time, Kylo's hand shot out, holding the metal in place, away from the lock. "Did you not hear me?" Hux gaped. "I don't care how much alcohol you've decided to inhale this night. I have better things to do than babysit a five year old desperate for attention."

"Please, Hux. Let me explain." Kylo forced his blood shot eyes to meet Hux's. "Please," he begged one final time. 

Hux let an exhausted sigh escape his lips, "Fine. But, this is the last chance you get for my sympathies, Ren. I'm growing tired of your games." He moved aside to allow Kylo's passage into his temporary quarters. The room was nice, though still moderate. Unlike the paper light of Kylo's chambers, Hux's was embellished solely in deep grays and reds. Pleased by the variation and disparity of the room, Kylo smiled smugly, then dropped down to the queen sized bed, craving its warmth after the day's dreadfully unfortunate turn of events.

Hux stood at the foot, arms woven tight across his chest. "Are you going to explain to me in detail about why you're here or not?"

Kylo shot up from his vertical position, taking one last sip of the whiskey before tossing the empty bottle on the floor, further adding to Hux's clear disdain. "I uh, wanted to apologize for earlier today. It's just... I reached an epiphany. To be honest, I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or not..." He blabbered on, the words flowing out in a continuous stream thanks to Kylo's horribly inebriated condition. For most people, Hux would have expected them to be down and passed out by their seventh or even eighth shot, though he assumed somehow the force worked on the side of alcoholism as Ren always seemed to be able to take an obscene amount before being even slightly affected. 

"I remember, you know." Hux raised an eyebrow, unsure of what Kylo was referring to. "In the snow on Starkiller." The General stiffened and in response Kylo let out a childish giggle, entertained by the reaction. "It just kind of came to me and it made me think. I must've wiped it myself, but why am I telling you this? I know you knew that already. " Hux remained silent, hand clutching the edge of the bed to keep himself steady. "When I...used the force earlier, I only did it because I could sense myself beginning to feel something for you and I didn't want to care about you. I didn't want to allow myself to." He laughed again, this time with genuine hilarity. "But I can't do that."

Heat began to flood into Hux's cheeks, livening up his entire complexion with a rosy tint. Kylo smiled, bringing light all across his face that made it impossible for Hux not to grin in return. Tenderly, Hux bent down to place his lips against Kylo's. Contrasting heavily from every other kiss they had ever shared, this one was pleasant and deliberate. Entranced in each other's touch, both hung on as if forever preserved in carbonite, though secretly, they wished they could make that dream a reality. 

When they broke apart, Kylo frowned with displeasure. His spidery fingers laced around the General's forearm as if begging him to stay. Hux snorted at the gesture, but crawled atop the mattress to join him.  Before sliding over, he removed his overcoat, though nothing more. Simultaneously, Kylo discarded his boots and crawled beneath the covers, Hux was soon to follow, curling to the shape of Ren's slightly larger body. In return, Kylo brought his arm around so that it draped over the General's lithe frame. "I forgot how tiny you are under that coat," he snickered.

"I hate you."

"I know."

Author's Note: So that was a lot longer than I expected! Anyway, I wanted to make note that the dialogue from flashback on Starkiller was taken from weird-things-first on Tumblr. I absolutely love their comic so so much and I was dying to incorporate it into my story. I'll add a little snippet of it at the top, it's just so well done. Anyways I hope you guys like the chapter and sorry if it was a bit confusing, I got in a mood to write and this just sort of happened... Also, you know your brother is goals when he sends you random Adam Driver edits on Vine in the middle of the school day. 

http://weird-things-first.tumblr.com/post/137441098961/spoilers-for-star-wars-the-force-awakens-hux