Hi hi hi! I deeply apologize for my absence. I won't give excuses. Let's just say that I have been a bit busy. I welcome your hatred for me at the moment but I'll make it up to you by posting a bit more regularly (keyword, a bit). Oh and by the way if you havent read, "The hunger games: an everthorne fanfiction" by TheForeveroddFavour then shame on you cus you should. Amazing story!! Also don't credit me for this disclaimer cuz it belongs to someone else and I luv it.

Disclaimer: Sue me not! I own naught! If I did Katniss and Gale would have tied the knot! 

We arrived at the train station ten minutes early much to Effie's joy and satisfaction at her 'escort skills' but Effie being Effie, she wanted us to get out of the train on the dot of time. So she forced us to sit and wait out the remaining minutes while she babbled about what we're expected to do when she let's us out. I glance over at Peeta who is sitting on the couch furthest from me. He's obviously still upset about our last conversation. Well I just can't sit and wait utill he calms down. I'll just have to go over to him and apologize. Hopefully Effie will be too busy gushing about how wonderful our grand arrival will be to notice that we're not listening. As I'm just about to get up, Haymitch cuts her off and starts to speak. He clears his throat to command our attention. "Remember we're not in the clear yet. I want you two to drop the funny business your doing and get your act back on." I see Peeta slightly flinch at the word 'act'. "Now big smiles for the cameras and don't do anything stupid.", he glares at me accusingly.

" It's time!", Effie exclaims while dragging both Peeta and I to the train door with Haymitch in tow. We get out of the train and through the station. Two cars are parked outside waiting to take us to the justice building. Effie shoves us into one and her and Haymitch go in the other. We immediately start to drive off. There is an awkward and uncomfortable silence between us. Peseta sits pressed up against the car door with his hand curled into a fist under his chin to support his head, far away from me, staring out the window. Its now or never.

"Peeta..." I begin, reaching and touching his forearm. He doesn't look at me. I take a deep breath and continue, " I'm sorry for what I said before. You don't deserve that after everything you've done for me and I shouldn't have been so cold." He still doesn't respond so I try again. "You don't have to forgive me but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry." I remove my hand and we sit in silence for a few moments before he mummers,

"Don't be." He turns and looks at me. Letting out a sigh he says, " You were right. You were just telling the truth. I shouldn't have expected you to love me just because of a kiss. You shouldn't be forced to feel things you don't and yes, I can never be on the same level as...him but I still love you and I can't change that. I guess I was hoping for too much." All the things I was about to say are lost with the wind. I just stare at him unblinkingly as he waits for me to say something. Before I even gather my thoughts, the car comes to a halt. Effie swings the door open and rushes us out and into the justice building. We stand at the closed door where there is a crowd on the other side eagerly waiting for their new victors to come out. My heart is pounding in my chest and I feel a lump in my throat. Everything that just occurred in the past moment fade from my mind. My head feels a bit lightheaded and my breathing slightly uneven. Its no question that I'm nervous but at the same time I'm so excited to see my family that my heart does a summersault when I hear the cheers of my district through the great wooden doors of the justice building.

"Places everybody!", trills my pink haired escort as she pats our clothes down and smooths out our hair trying in vain to make us look the least bit presentable. " Big smiles! Big big smiles!" I glance over at my not so sober mentor who is looking at me with his best don't-screw-this-up face.

Peeta takes my hand and says with a weak smile, "For the cameras." A pang of guilt hits me and I can't help but feel horrible. Effie puts her manicured fingers on the door handles getting ready to open them. I quickly compose myself, putting on the best 'fake' smile I can muster and so does Peeta. Then the doors swing open. As we step on the platform, I am immediately overwhelmed by the cheers of the people of district 12 although not nearly as loud as the ones from the Capitol but I honestly wasn't expecting such a warm welcome. The flash of cameras blind me as they hungrily eat up the images of Panems' star-crossed-lovers. I stand there and smile for them for five minutes as I search the crowd for Prim. I spot her standing with my mother and Rory. Him and Prim are jumping up and waving their hands in the air, no doubt trying to get my attention, while my mother just stands behind them with a look of relief and joy on her worn out face. I quickly abandon Peeta and push through the swarm of people, yelling their names. She runs to me and flings her arms around my neck as she holds me in a death grip.

We hold each other in a tight embrace not wanting to let go. I hold her angelic face in my hands and wipe the tears of joy with my thumbs that are flowing from her crystal blue eyes. "I missed you little duck.", I say as I give my precious sister a kiss on the forehead. I stand up and hug my mother who is also crying. Next I wrap my arms around Rory who eagerly returns my embrace while saying, " You scared the shit out of us."

"Rory!", exclaims Hazelle, who just caught up with him, Prim and mom with the rest of the Hawthorne family, as she scolds her son. She turns and I impulsively embrace my second mother. " Oh honey we all missed you so much and we're all proud of you.", she says her tone genuine and laced with motherly affection.

"Katniss!", squeals little Posy and she leaps into my arms. I pick her up and hold her tightly. " I missed you vewy much!" My heart warms up as I hear this. "Pwomise you won't go away again."

"I promise little one.", I reply and kiss her cheeks. I find Vick hanging on to my legs and I scoop him up too and squeeze him tightly. Putting him down I look at all of them and see that they are not skin and bones. They all look as healthy as I left them. My heart's full of happiness at the sight. " Your okay.", I say touching the kids' cheeks and feeling their bodies. "Your all okay.", the relief evident in my voice.

" Your the one we were worried about dear.",says my mother.

"Yeah and we're fine. Gale's been taking care of us and helping us alot.", Prim says as she holds onto my hand. My mind immediately snaps to my best friend. I frantically search the mass of bodies in search of him. Hazelle must have noticed this and chimed in.

" He's not here.", she said sadly. I look at her for more answers asking with my eyes where he is. She just sighs and shakes her head. I feel a pain in my chest and my face falls. Gale doesn't want to see me? Is he really mad at me? I guess I expected him to be but I didn't think he wouldn't even come see me. "Honey I'm sure he just doesn't want to be around so many people. You know how he is." She's right. Galle hates being around crowds. But I shouldn't get my hopes up just yet.

The Hawthornes hug me one last time before they leave for home. The rest of the people have dispersed and the camera crews packed up for the night. I start walking to my house in the Seam but Prim stops me. "Katniss your going the wrong way.", she tells me. " Victors village is the other way." Ah, yes. Victors village, how could I forget. The luxurious houses built for victors in the nicer parts of the district. Apparently my mother and Prim had already moved in once I was announced winner of the 74th hunger games. We begin our journey there with Prim hands clutching both mine and our mothers'. When we reach, my mother opens the door and we enter. All I can say is this place screams Capitol. Everything is so extravagant with its plush sofas and thick drapes, fluffy carpets, mahogany furniture and chandeliers. Its too much for me. I want out. As crazy as this sounds, I want to go back to the Seam. I don't want anything to do with the Capitol. This can't be happening. I won't let them change me. I won't let them turn me into one of their kind. I need to get out of here. I turn to bolt out the door when Prim catches my hand.

"Katniss?", she looks at me worried. "What's wrong?"

I try my best to compose myself for the sake of my little sister. "Nothing Prim. I'm just trying to adjust to the change that's all.", I lie. I can't trouble my poor Primrose when it already looks like she's been through so much having to watch her sister fight for her life in an arena. She gives me a tour of the house and shows me a room she picked out for me. I give her my best smile but I can tell she doesn't buy it though she doesn't press on either. I say goodnight to my family and decide to go take a shower. The drops of water contrast with my tears as they slide down my cheeks. I hate my new life. I wish more than anything to return to my old days before I was reaped. To make the nightmares stop. For the guilt to go away. But I can't be so selfish when now I can finally provide for Prim. She'll never have to go hungry again. I climb in my huge bed and stare out of my large window at the woods, wondering if a certain hunter is there. All I hope is that when I find him, he can help me in my quest of self rediscovery. I close my eyes and let unconsciousness take me as I drift into a sleep full of nightmares of those who's lives I've taken and who I've hurt.

And that's it. Crappy chapter, I know. This was all written with writers block. Don't worry. Gale and Katniss's reunion will be in the next chap. Sorry it took so long. Anyway review and stuff. Keep loving Gale!!

I'm out ✌