Long chapter and an intense one. Make sure to vote and comment!! I deserve it cause I couldn't write anything but I still managed to do it lol!

I miss speaking hassan 😭😭😭

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Chand Lamhaaat Ke Waaste Hi Sahi

Muskura kar Mili Thi Mujhe zindagi

Teri Aaghosh Mein Din The Mere Kate

Teri Baahon Mein Thi Meri Raate Kati

Even if it was only for a few moments

Life had met me with a smile

My days were spent in your embrace

My night were spent in your arms..

Anaaya.

It had been two months since the accident. Two months of absolute agony and grief. Two months of nothing but silence from Hassan, two months of her trying to slowly build up her broken walls.

The hospital had become her first home and their place, her second. Her nights and days were spent here, there were times when she simply wanted to fall apart all over again, the children were not easy to deal with, not without him.

They wanted to see their baba.

They wanted to know where he had gone.

They wanted to go and meet him.

But she never wanted them to see their superhero father, lying on a cold bed.

So she would lie, and lie.

And lie some more.

She would tell them she would take them to the hospital but she never had the courage to do so.

Her worklife was over, she couldn't go back to work like this, not when Hassan was in such a bad place in his life.

She had initially taken a three months leave but she would probably quit, she couldn't work like this.

She couldn't function like this.

It took all the willpower that she had inside of her to not sleep by his side, it took all that she had to spend mere hours at home.

Aunty Shagufta and Uncle Shafqat had arrived three weeks ago along with Rania.

They were being as helpful as they could be. But they hardly knew anything about Newyork.

Aunty Shagufta didn't trust the white girls. She put all her time and effort with her grandchildren.

This was her way of grieving. Anaaya knew that. She hardly visited the hospital.

It's hard to see the boy you cradled in your arms, the boy you protected, the boy you loved, to be in such a state.

Uncle Shafqat visited in the evenings, a time where Anaaya and him would sit in the hospital room and talk all that they could.

Uncle Shafqat would tell her all of Hassan's childhood stories and she would smile or giggle, imagining tiny Hassan.

"Anaaya, beta, naashta kar lo pehle."
(Anaaya, have breakfast first.)

She heard the voice of her mother in law as she walked down the stairs, her hair wet from the shower as she made her way onto the dining table.

The moment she came near the dining table, she saw an enormous platter of food. Eggs, bread, piles of fruit. Fresh juices.

Aunty Shagufta was cutting more fruit, Anaaya never stopped her from wasting all this food. She understood that this was all her mother in law had in control right now.

"Nahin aunty, main bus ab niklun gi."

(No aunty, I'll just leave now.)

She replied to her query of breakfast and her mother in law looked at her, clicking her tongue.

"Jaan, aise nahi chalega, chalo betho, main paratha bana ke deti hoon. Kha kay jao."

(Love, it can't work this way. Come sit, I'll make you a paratha, eat it and then go.)

She stood up from her place, slapping away her hands from the table and looking at her daughter in law with pityful eyes.

"Aunty, sach main bilkul dil nahi hai Mera."

(Aunty, I really don't feel like eating.)

She mumbled, she glanced at her oldest son who was still not eating his sandwich, instead he was just staring at his food with eyes filled with small tears.

"Abaan, what's wrong love?" Anaaya softly questioned, sliding in the seat beside him and cupping her son's face.

"Mummy, can I come with you?" The innocent question rolled off his tongue.

"Why?"

"I want to see baba."

Anaaya sighed, looking around, at Rania who had Aira in her arms, at Maggie who was putting jam on Rohaan's toast, at her mother in law who had wanted to see her son, just as bad as Abaan.

She looked back at Abaan, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, baby. Not right now, I'll take you some other day." She denied and the child frowned.

She held his chin again.

"Hey, listen to me? You're the older brother, hmm? You have to take care of Aira, Rohaan and Zayaan. Right?" She tried to explain to him as Rania came towards them, playing with Aira.

"When your dad wakes up, I can tell him that Abaan is a big boy now. He'll be so proud of you." She continued.

"Really?"

"Mhmm, now give me a kiss and go eat your breakfast." The boy happily obliged, kissing his mother's cheek and drinking his juice.

Anaaya moved on to the twins now, who were grumbling away at each other.

"Zayaan, Rohaan, you need mama to bring you anything for dinner?"

"Cake and icecream." They prounouced. She nodded.

She would give them the world if she could.

"Okay, come here, give me a kiss." This precious time with her kids, it was the only source of happiness she had these days.

The only way of comforting her own self.

While Abaan was a gentleman and only kissed his mother's cheeks, the twins were naughty and always liked to place a slobber filled kiss on her lips, giggling as she would make a weird face.

"Be good, boys. Okay? No teasing dadi." She kissed them both, ruffling their hair.

She picked up Aira from Rania's arms, her finger grazing her cheeks. Rania stared at her sister in law, who had tears in her eyes.

"Bhabhi.." She put a hand on her shoulder, hugging her slightly from the side.

"She's his favourite." She sniffed.

She kept tracing patterns on her face, observing her youngest, she smelled her head, something she loved to do.

Babies had a distinct comforting smell in them. Finally, breaking out of her trance, Anaaya handed Aira back to Rania.

Thankfully, her daughter didn't cry. Her tantrums were only for the nights.

She went towards the door and Maggie followed close. Anaaya opened up her bag, pulling out a few dollar bills.

"Maggie, here you go. Anything they need, just get it. Uhh, Call me if the kids are troubling you and just, make sure to take care of things."

She hurriedly told her, handing over the money and looking at Maggie.

"Don't worry, Anaaya. We'll be fine." Anaaya nodded, and was almost about to leave the apartment when she heard the voice of her mother in law.

"Ab ye angrezon wala naashta karega Mera bacha? Paratha bana kar doongi main."

(I'm not gonna let my child eat this English breakfast. I'll make him a paratha.)

Maggie, who was bilingual groaned. She looked at Anaaya and rolled her eyes.

"Great, now she's throwing away my sandwiches. You know we don't give him paratha on Sundays. He ends up eating a lot after that and it results in an upset stomach."

Anaaya didn't know what to say. She knew Maggie was right but her mother in law was just trying to keep herself busy.

"Let it go. This is her way of grieving. Please don't argue with her, Maggie."

"But Anaaya, you never interfered in what I made for the children. She throws away everything I make." She pouted and Anaaya, at the last straw of her patience, clicked her tongue.

"She's Hassan's mother. Just, don't argue. Okay?" Maggie sensed the tension and nodded.

"I won't, Anaaya. I promise."

Anaaya gave her a polite nod, opening the door.

"Okay, I gotta go now."

Once again, she was stopped by Maggie.

"I miss him, Hassan sir I mean. I know it's wrong of me to say it but I miss him a lot. He was always so invested in everything and now he's there, lying all alone," She ranted on and on.

"I know I'm rambling, I'm just really nervous. You know I tend to get nervous when I'm angry and upset, but-"

Anaaya let out a long sigh.

"I hope he wakes up." Maggie finally summed up her words in a tiny whisper.

"I hope so too." She said back, finally leaving the apartment.

She hadn't even reached the elevator yet when she heard Uncle shafqat's hurried steps.

"Anaaya, I'll come with you." He announced.

She nodded, entering the elevator with him as she later on drove them away to the hospital.

She entered the same bland hospital room that she had came to loathe. The white walls and dominating bed, with a small table and a few chairs.

The room with no personality. The cold tile floors, the window that had no particular view, beeping of machines and to top it all off, the dintict hospital smell.

She put up the flowers that she brought everyday at the table and greeted Dr Shepherd who was on his morning rounds.

"Hello Doctor."

"Hi Anaaya." He greeted back in a happy voice.

"Any progress?" She questioned him the same damn question she had been asking for the past two months.

"His heart rate is stable now, it fluctuated a little last night but he's doing okay so far."

"Is he ever gonna wake up?"

Another question, the doctor gave her a polite smile, examining the chart and then looking at her.

"You said it yourself, hope is all we have."

She heard Uncle Shafqat reciting something and she looked at him.

"Aaj konsi surah parh rahe hain."

She enquired about which part of the Holy Quran was he reading today. He would always recite a new surah and then blow it at his son.

"Surah Rehman,"

He answered. She nodded, waiting for him to complete his recitation.

She stared at Hassan then. She stared at his slightly pale face and grown beard. She stared at the way his hair was starting to grow after the doctors had shaved it off. She stared at him and all that he had become.

She wasn't stupid. She knew the risks. In this bed, laid the future of him. Of her. His eyes that once sparkled were now closed, and all she had was hope that he would open them again.

His hands that once picked up his kids, the hands that cupped her face to bring her closer so he could kiss her, were now still. His feet that had known to walk the streets of manhattan, the feet that carried him to shop at the best places in the city were now, not moving.

And she knew that person was still in there, fighting as hard as he could to just wake up and not quit like this. No matter what the chances were.

She was lost in her train of thoughts when Uncle Shafqat started to speak, his voice was cracking and she knew he was close to crying.

"You know, when Hassan turned sixteen, I sent him abroad. He was so excited at the start, he packed everything he had, he bought new stuff." He started off.

She listened attentively. She had been joining all the pieces of who Hassan was, before she had met him. What did he like? What did he do?

"But as soon as the day came, the day when he actually had to go, he just started crying. Can you imagine? He cried so much."

She couldn't imagine her strong and brave Hassan crying. She had only seen him cry out of happiness.

"And he hugged me and said 'Dad, koi ghalti ho gayi ho to maaf kar dena.'"

(I'm sorry if I ever made a mistake.)

Anaaya smiled painfully. He stared at Anaaya, putting a hand on her head.

"I don't know if you know this or not, but everytime he would come home and then leave, he would utter the same words. So many years and yet he would say the same."

He continued talking and she continued listening. He sniffed, eyes tearing up and this time Anaaya patted his hand.

"Today I want him to wake up and I want to say to him ke beta mujhse koi ghalti ho gayi ho to maaf kar dena. I could never give you the love that I gave to your other siblings. I was always strict with you. Firmer."

It was as if he was conveying his message to his son, even if he couldn't hear it.

"But you're my first born boy and I love you with all my heart. Bus itna kehna chahta hoon is say, ye na ho ke is ke uthne se pehle khuda mujhe utha lay."

(That's all I want to say to him. What if God decides to take me away before him?)

Anaaya shook her head violently.

"Don't, just don't uncle. Hassan will wake up and you'll both be fine, okay?"

She said with complete confidence.

She was always so coped up in feeling her own pain that she didn't realise one thing. There were people in his life that had known him long before her. His mother, his father, his siblings. They all must be feeling pain too. Much more pain.

"I'll go get myself some tea. You want it?" Uncle Shafqat suddenly said, wiping away his stray tears and standing up.

"No, thanks."

She shrugged him off and he left the room, making Anaaya sit all alone.

And that was what she wanted.

Her hands found a way towards his hair as she brushed it away, he was always so particular about his hair, and now it was all screwed up.

So she did the best that she could.

"Hi baby." She whispered softly.

"I hardly slept last night, all the kids just jumped with me to bed and they cuddled around me, it was nice but I had so much in mind that I couldn't sleep." She started off.

She always told him about her day.

"Your mom's making her famous parathas for breakfast. She hates Maggie." She said with a chuckle, talking more and more.

"And uncle Shafqat has made a new friend here. Guess who? Mr Philip. Can you imagine? The one guy you loathe is the one he befriends." She slightly giggled.

"Abaan had an art day at school yesterday. He made fishes. That boy and his bloody fishes. It was horrible really, his drawing is so bad. But I still gave him a treat, you know, to encourage him."

And so it went on and on.

Anaaya said all that she had stored inside of her, all that she wanted to share.

"Rohaan and Zayaan injured each other again yesterday. Both of them now have bumps on their foreheads."

"And Aira? She only sleeps if I put on one of your t-shirts around her body. I guess there's a certain comforting feeling for her, she's usually wrapped up in your shirts these days."

She might have looked crazy to other people, especially when she was talking so much, but she didn't care.

She was deep in her one sided conversation when a nurse interrupted her.

"Miss?"

"Yes?"

"There's a few bills you have to pay. Will you pay them by card or?" She questioned, showing Anaaya a few charts.

She nodded, taking out her card from the bag and handing it over to her.

"Here, take this. Just bring me back the receipts."

"Alright."

The nurse left and she was back to talking with her husband.

"So where was I? Yeah..anyway, Maggie told me she misses you a lot today. Sarah quit a few days back, she said she got her university admission."

"I mean, aunty and Rania are taking care of the kids but we need to find a new helper soon."

"I always wonder if you're actually listening to whatever I'm saying. Cause if you are, sorry husband. I know I'm talking alot."

She held his hand this time, lacing her fingers with his.

"Honesty though, I think about you a lot. All the time actually, even when I'm with the kids, I'm thinking about you."

"It's you, Hassan. It's always you."

Sometimes when you're in love with someone, when you are really deeply in love, words aren't even enough to describe that feeling.

And when you're on the verge of losing that loved one, when you're at constant risk of losing them, your brain and heart take you to a whole new space.

She held his hand for a long time, not saying anything for about an hour or two.

Uncle Shafqat who had tried to enter the room an hour ago, actually left, he felt that the moment Anaaya was sharing with Hassan right now was so intimate that he couldn't be a part of it.

His daughter was trying her hardest, to be strong, to look brave. But it was only in front of Hassan that she would let down all of her walls and just talk to him.

"You have to wake up soon, Okay?" She kissed his fingertips.

"You took your rest, now it's my time. You wake up and we'll all go to hawaii."

"I think hawaii can be great, we can have so much fun, I mean, you always wanted to go there hmm?"

"Hassan, you have to wake up, okay? Please. You have to wake up."

She pleaded, repeatedly.

"Open your eyes, Hassan. Please, open your eyes."

She didn't know if it was her words, her illusion, her belief or just a mere coincidence that he opened his eyes right at that moment.

___

Long chapter!! But I hope you guys liked it.