The fan-nerding type tends to live in a world of fantasy, yet is insecure in themselves to the point where they shy away from their mates. The female has to pursue them unless something drastic changes the course of their lives. This case is such a change.

2012

Mom got me a ticket to Mechacon this year, for my birthday. I had never been to New Orleans, let alone an Anime convention. Since it was my first time, I didn't think to dress up as any particular character, so I was surprised at how many different animes were represented.

Didn't get lost among the booths like mama thought I would. It's not that big a convention, but I did spend a ton of time looking over some wicked artwork. A lot of it was Dragon Ball Z, but I was looking forward to what new releases were trickling in, not even dubbed into English, yet. I had been learning Japanese online just to watch what pops up on various sites. Can't wait to go home and do a new search on YouTube so I can spend hours of my life drowning in Japanese with cartoon panty shots.

Don't judge me. I promise I'm not fapping to it. Ugh...how to put this? If I'm in the mood, I do what I want, but that's not the point. Yeah, tmi, I know. But if it was about the characters making me horny, I'd not bother with using ThePiratebay torrent to get it together from Japan, as I could just download porn from a porn torrent, get all those creepy videos of women my mother's age and older. Man, adults are freaks. Not like my parents know how to get into hidden files on their computers, anyway, and mom would just blame dad if I did store things. I'm far more into anime than yay, free porn.

That would be like saying 12 year old girls only want romance stories because they are horny. Amright? Girls never talk about that stuff, so I don't know.

But the part I don't get is why you need to look at pictures or read anything steamy to get going? I mean, the junk is pretty damn sensitive. You look at it cross-eyed, and there it goes, with a mind of its own. Why is there a market for what the body does on its own?

Now, how did I get here, when I was going on about an anime convention? Oh, yeah, I'm a guy. It's demanded of me--even though I'm told I'm precocious.

Man, there was this group of kids that wandered through dressed in suits with their hair styled horribly. I don't get it.

Went and sat down at a Q&A that was a part of my package. That was cool.

Went to eat lunch, and saw them weird kids, again...then they started dancing. I get it, now! They're doing The Creep. Instead of dressing like Fullmetal Alchemist, they chose a spoof music group's video. Sheesh, it's weird. Brilliantly done, though.

That's when I saw her. Dressed like the guys, with that awful wig that Nikki Minaj wore for her part in the video.

In a room full of guys and girls, barely clothed, this girl has on a full suit. And it's not like Nikki's or some anime chick's fit. This girl was probably a little younger than me, so there was nothing to put in a pushup bra. That, and she was a little bit chunky.

I thought guys were supposed to fall for girls on sight by looks. She didn't have that. Heck, I don't have that. I'm a skinny beanpole with acne, I have no room to diss.

But there was something about her. I wanted to talk to her, so bad.

But I'm 12. As dad keeps saying, "my balls haven't dropped yet". So I applauded like a lot of the guys around them after their impromptu dance, then wandered off, kicking myself over not meeting this girl.

2016

Finally get to go back to Mechacon.

Mom couldn't afford to send me the past three years. Dad was injured at work and it took most of two years to get him on SSI. That, and she had to go back to work, and she struggled to finish a degree from when she dropped out of college over having me. It took 4 years for them to finally get ahead. That, and it wasn't like I was the only kid in the house.

I got a medical excuse to drive dad around. We could outfit a vehicle for him to drive, but that costs a lot, so they intend to do that by the time I'm off to college...that is if I don't go offshore. They really don't want me to, as it nearly took dad's life.

But this week, mom took off to help dad, so I can go to the Hyatt Regency and immerse myself in cartoons like the kid I'm supposed to be.

That girl is still on my mind, even though I've not seen her since. No, my interest in girls isn't stuck at 11 year old girls. I'm 16, that's more than a bit too young for me. What I mean is that this not talking to her when I had the chance pushed me to be more outgoing. Well, not just that event. We almost missed out on nearly 4 years of memories with Dad. I talk to girls because I can't put it off until tomorrow. All I have is today.

And most 16 year olds don't think like this.

The worst part is trying to not blurt out about how short life is. It creeps people out.

But there's this girl I passed up getting to know, and I doubt that she looks enough like she did 4 years ago for me to pick her out of a crowd if she's here. I mean, I didn't go for that long.

Anyway, I went from pimply beanpole to pimply barbarian. I started working out, not because I wanted a 6 pack, but because it hurt like hell to help lift my dad. I needed the strength to help him, especially at first. He's regained so much of his mobility over the years of therapy, but I couldn't go back to not being able to do for him, if something happens. It's kind of funny, as girls now come up to me to talk. Still have this baby face, but nothing else screams kid about me, not even being only 5'10".

Now, I actually did go as Conan the Barbarian--not in only a loincloth or fur diaper and topless. I went as his older self--crown and fake beard, fully clothed. Plenty of comic covers with him on there.

Man, the beard was itchy.

I would have gone as some of the more recent animes but they give these guys such a sissy build that it would look like you're pouring the Hulk into skinny jeans--yeah, a bit of an exaggeration. Muscled or fat, not having a somewhat close build to the characters gets frustrating when you're trying to look like them. It's bad that even when you're close, you're still dealing with drawn anatomy that isn't humanly possible...especially for some artists who are really bad at their job.

Go to a comic convention and get comic book nerds started up on who is a bad artist. Believe me, they have plenty to say on bad artwork. Anime gets a bit more leeway because with the old stuff you're animating this character frame by frame, and often from a distance.

Anyway, lots of people wanted to get a pic with me posing with my foam sword--that was a bitch to craft. Had to spend hours looking up how-to websites, visiting forums, or hoping YouTube had a how-to up online, until I found a method I liked. It was fun, a lot more than I expected.

Man, I was so distracted by that Ghostbusters charity group coming through that I didn't notice The Creeps were at it, again. They had aged, even more than I did. I was cracking a joke about the Hulk in skinny jeans, but these guys were the real deal. I'm 2 scrawny beanpoles in 1 outfit, they're 2 grown men in 1 suit. I suspect that under their sorely distressed suits that their muscles had muscles.

She was in the middle of them, as grown up as I was, now having enough of a figure to pull off the look...but not overdone like the guys. I never really noticed that she was a few years younger than her male enterauge, back then. But they were grown men, and she wasn't an adult, any more than I am.

And I'm kicking myself because it would have been a lot easier to introduce myself to her back then, than now. I mean, quite a few times these guys ran off any dudes that got too handsy with her. Which was good for them, not like she asked for the attention.

But this was a challenge.

And I lost my nerve, again.

I mean, I spent all this time improving myself--with noble intentions!--but there's always someone better than you, and she surrounded herself with such guys. What could I offer?

What did any kid have to offer? I mean, I'm just getting to a working age, I still have school, and I'm sitting here acting like I have to provide for her like I'm an adult. Man, why was I sweating this? This was completely nuts. It would be nice to at least make a friend before I start planning a wedding like some chick. Jeez.