Remus: Don't tell me you are scared.

Sirius: What makes you say that?

Remus: Any more up against the wall and you'd be a part of it.

Sirius: 🙄

Remus: I don't see what you are so afraid of. It's a Christmas tree. It's not even two feet tall.

Sirius: The one at my house used to bite.

Remus: What? A biting Christmas tree? That's crazy.

Sirius: Have you met my family? It's not a holiday unless there is seasonal suffering.

Remus: 😐

Everyone: * Walks in. *

Draco: * See the tree and hide behind Sirius. * Get that thing out of here!

Remus: Oh, don't tell me yours bites too?!🤦🏼

Harry: * Laughing. *🤣

Draco: * Nods. * One year it even scratched me. Truns out it was just my mom's Persian long hair Fluffly that got stuck in the tree.

Sirius: That damn thing is still alive! That stupid cat used to torment me as a kid.

Me: Calm down guys. This is a muggle Christmas tree. It doesn't bite and it doesn't scratch.

Bunny: * Floating. * Aren't they supposed to be bigger?

Me: I haven't finished growing it yet.

Tonks: * Looking at the tree. * I remember having one of these. The cat would knock it over every year.

Me: Watch. * Makes the tree grow too full size. *

Neville: I still have a hard time believing that I am better than you at Herbatolgy class.

Me: Believe it. Now time for the decorations! * Waves wand a box of decorations pops up. *

James: * Puts some garland around his next and truns into Prnngs. *

Sirius: Let me help you with that. * Puts ornaments on James antlers. *

Me: I want to join! * Truns into a deer. *

Harry: You look like Bambi.

Lily: No, that's what we call James.

James: 🙄

Harry: * Put garland around my neck. * I wish I could turn into a deer too.

Bunny: * Puts fake deer antlers on Harry and garland around his neck * There.

Sirius: Being animagus is cool but it can hurt a lot if you mess it up halfway through.

Remus: * Rolls eyes. * Hay Sirius, if you turn into Padfoot you can wear a garland and match with James.

Sirius: Sure. * Truns into Padfoot and runs off. *

Remus: Hay! * Runs after Sirius. *

Everyone but Draco: * Laughing. *🤣

Draco: What the fuck?

Bunny: What the fuck?

Draco: Stop.

Bunny: Stop.

Draco: I sai- * Bunny puts tape over his mouth *

Remus: * Tackls Sirius. * Got ya!

Sirius: * Licks Remus and runs off again. *

Remus: Ew! Dammit, Sirius! Get back here!

Harry: I can't believe this is my family.

Me: Me neither, but it makes specs when you think about it.

Harry: How?

Me: We are all crazy as fuck.

Bunny: Pftt.

Sirius: * Turns back and puts on a garland. *

Remus: You are why I'm a cat person.

Sirius: Ouch. * Fake hurt. *

Draco: This just proves both sides of my family are mental.

Me: Can we see the tree yet?

Everyone but Draco: Yes!

Draco: You decorated it?

Me: Yeah everyone does. Wait do you not celebrate Christmas?

Draco: Not really. My parents just put up the tree and have a few friends over but that's it. I didn't really even know it was a big deal.

Me: It's about the birth of God's son Jesus.

Bunny: Mary's son, Oh no. . .I thought he was kidding. . .

Harry: Damm. I thought getting old socks for Christmas sucked but not even knowing about it.

Dobby and Armina: We love socks!

Me: Well yeah it's a big deal. Here help us with the tree.

Draco: Are you sure there aren't any cats in it?

Me: Yes I'm su. . .

Hermione: * Pulling Crookshanks out of the tree. * Bad cat! Let go!

Draco: Real reassuring. 🙄

( The tree is  decorated. )

Draco: Wow.

Me: Yep! Now for today's ship!

Everyone: * Growns. *

Me: You didn't think we were just celebrating Christmas now did you?

Martial: He hoped.

Theodore: And prayed.

Me: So today's ship is to get back at that stunt Bunny pulled.

Bunny: Hit me with your best-shot bitch!

Me: Adam and Bunny!

Bunny: WHAT?! I thought it was better than that!

Adam: 🤢

Me: Other words known as Drama because that's what this ship would be if it was real. A lot of drama.

Adam: No, just no. Well, I am Bi I like men more. . . Besides your sister scars me.

Bunny: Thanks. But no. I mean he's cute but. No.

Harry: Sink.

Ron: Sink because I knew Bunny would kill me if I said ship.

Bunny: Got that right babe!

Hermione: Sink. It's clear there is nothing between them.

Luna: Sink. Besides I ship Adam and Cedric.

Bunny: Hell yeah!

Adam and Cedric: 😳

Me: * Takes a picture. *

Harry: Wait is that. . . Did you take that from Colin?

Me: Maybe. I also took your cloke and map.

Harry: What?! Why'd you do that?!

Me: You use them to sneak around after hours. I use them for their intended purpose, to pull pranks.

James: I'm so proud.

Harry: But you are not good at pranks.

Me: Not on my own, but I have a team.

Harry: Who?!

Me: I'm not going to out our real names, but we do have cold names.

Sirius: Smart kid.

Harry: And the coad names are?

Me: I'm Alpha because I'm the leader. Then we have Flower Creature and Flame.

Remus: Looks like they got this handled.

Me: Yep! Now back to the ship!

Neville: Sink.

Me: You are just afraid of my sister aren't you?

Neville: Yes, but also it's just a wired ship.

Ginny: No, sink. Luna is right, Adam and Cedric are a much better ship.

Adam: Um. . . let's move on.

Dobby and Armina: Sink ms Amelia.

Martial and Theodore: Sink.

The adults: Sink.

Lily: Adam and Cedric would be so cute together.

Tonks: Agreed!

Adam and Cedric: * Pink. *

Bunny: Aww they are blushing!!!

Bellatrix and Voldemort: Ew.

Me: Get bent!

Pansy: Sink! Their freaks! A f*g and a halfbreed. * Choking on soap. *

Me: * Slowly truns to Pansy. * You know there's a disease named after you.

Cho: Sink.

Me: I believe that was every. . .

Gred and Feorge: *Walk in. *

Fred: At least we know where we stand.

George: Yeah.

Me: Oh, right, you two live here too.

Fred and George: * Fake gasps. *

Bunny: For the love of the gods!! You finally got here!!

Me: Gits.

Fred and George: Just to annoy Bunny. Ship!

Bunny: I will get you two for that.

Fred and George: * Shrug. *

Me: It's a sink but you two still have to kiss.

Bunny: Let's get this shit over with. * Kisses Adam. *

Adam: Yuck!

Me: I can't show a picture because vampires don't show up in pictures. But that didn't stop me from taking one to make it look like Adam was kissing the air.

Adam: Will you ever grow up?

Me: The why this war is going I'm lucky to be alive.

Everyone but me: 😐

Me: * Spins the magic ship wheel. * See ya bitches!

Bunny: Bye motherfuckers! 

Crookshanks: * Jumps on the tree knocking it over. *

Hermione: No! Bad cat!

Tonks: Now it's Chrismas!