it hurts a hell lot whenever they tell me they think I'm cold. I mean, I don't usually reply texts and comments, I barely text others first, I'm not very good at keeping the conversation, I'm overall awkward in maintaining a relationship, but I do care a lot, I do care about you guys a lot in my own oh so very awkward way, I want to be cool, I don't want to be a weak and depressed person in your eyes, because my pride won't allow me to be that person, I tend to take care of others and not really comfortable when getting pampered, it's just not how I am, just not what I am. I want to reassure you guys, I want you guys to think that it's okay I'm gonna be okay all of this moving abroad is not a big deal I can get over it and get used to this new life, but actually, I feel lost most of the time, I space out whenever I have free times, I think about you guys, I miss Saigon, I miss everything about home, just that I can't tell you guys so, because I hate feeling so hopeless, I don't want to be a burden. I suck at communicating and expressing my feelings, I know that very well, but I just hope for the best, that one day you guys will think for me and try to understand it. I tried, I seriously tried. I tried to think that maybe one day you guys will finally realized that I do care a lot. But I fail every time. And it sucks a lot. Now I'm just Sad.