Christmas break was a relief.

Then it was uncomfortable.

I hadn't realized how much being busy had been helping with my fears. Now that I had free time, those old thoughts were like a breath on the back of my neck... they never quite came to mind, but I could feel them creeping in and waiting for one wrong word to send me spiraling back into terror.

Isabella still wasn't better. My dad and I had one or two more conversations about it, but he seemed just as concerned about me. While Bella had been the model of behavior, I'd been... me. And good influence of Jacob Black aside, my temper wasn't getting any better.

So yeah.

Angry, worried dad.

Zombie, heartbroken sister.

Tightly wound, terrified Gen.

Uncomfortable was a good word for it.

The first days of break, we gradually started to avoid each other. I started texting friends more, especially Jacob, as I wondered if I was about to lose my family completely because of all that had happened. The more these thoughts hit me, the more I stayed locked up in my room, blasting my mom's favorite classical music and moping around in every position imaginable.

This was why, on Christmas afternoon, my dad knocked on my door and I found myself having to unravel my way from my position half on the bed, half sprawled over a pillow and a chair, with my computer on the floor and the middle of my body threatening to break in half.

Uncomfortable was a good word for that, too.

Especially when my dad knocked on the door and I was startled into tipping the chair over.

"You ok, Genny?" He called. I heard him jiggling at the handle, only to find it locked and blocked by a chair.

"I regret nothing!" I groaned, waving a bruised arm dramatically above my head. "One sec."

"Company will be here in an hour." He said simply. I heard him start to walk away and then his step back. "Be nice to your sister."

"Merry Christmas, Dad." I said. It was the best change of subject I could think of.

Soon enough, people were crowding into our house with bags of presents. We didn't have much in the way of relatives, but Dad's popular enough that we get a crowd anyway. It used to be my favorite day of the year: getting everyone I loved together, getting presents, singing Christmas tunes. Right now I was simply not in the mood. My brain was in too much of a jumble to really understand anything that was going on.

The party passed in a bit of a blur. I found a quiet corner and smiled tiredly at everyone who talked to me. Billy cornered me for a bit, chasing off Jacob every time he tried to join us. I started to wish I could run away myself after a bit: Billy was being a bit too understanding. While it would be nice to have someone I could talk to, the endless hints that somehow Billy knew what had happened, knew what I'd been through and cared... they were torture. They just made me want to be open, have one real conversation about all that craziness—just one! But he wouldn't tell me and I couldn't ask and by the time dinner was over and presents started to appear I was frustrated to the point of tears, my fingers itching at the scarf over the scar on my wrist.

"Oh, one for Gen." My dad said, turning from the tree to toss me a small pink package.

Crap!

I awkwardly picked at a corner of the tape, wearing a mask of curiosity for everyone who didn't know this was a gift from my sister's ex-for-quite-a-while boyfriend. Unfortunately, there wassomeone else who knew.

"Bella?"

I glanced up in time to find my sister walking quickly out of the room, hands wrapped tightly around her chest.

For once, I was having none of that.

Shoving the small pink package in the loose pocket of my sweater, I stood and stormed out of the room after her. I was furious: mostly with myself for once. How did I keep forgetting Edward when my sister couldn't? Ok, not being in love with him helped on that one... but still!

"Gen!"

I turned around, biting back a comment about my Dad having to call both of our names in so many minutes. "Yeah?"

"Just give her a minute." He asked, his eyes worried. "I know you're her sister, but..."

"But what." I grumbled.

"But you're going to make it worse if you're angry with her." Dad told me sternly. I glared at him. "Genevieve Olivia Swan."

"What!" I yelled. We both glanced back to the living room but everyone was keeping a polite distance. "She's acting like a complete idiot." I added in a quieter voice.

"She's your sister." Dad said tiredly.

"I....She...!" I sputtered, finding the phrase a little too close to what I'd always said about Bella.

"Just come back to the living room." He said, starting up the stairs to take my place

"No, I... I'll talk to her." I cut him off, placing my hands against the walls to block access. "Unless you want to become our go-to-guy for all boy trouble?"

My dad turned a little pink and winced. He shook his head, smiling a little as I laughed. "Just be nice, Genny. Ok?"

"I'll try."

Wait...

What did I just agree to?

...

"Bella." I said as I pushed open the door. Apparently the best way I can think of to say 'Gen's here to help' is to use her nickname. Sister of the year.

Bella didn't turn around and I took a moment to study her back. She was sitting hunched over on the bed, her body curled up protectively around her chest. She was trembling slightly and I sighed as I walked over to her, recognizing her posture from the short time I'd spent living in the same room as her.

"Bella." I said again, more to let her know I was right there. She didn't move as I reached her so I sat down beside her and frowned out the window, waiting. I really had no clue what to say to the girl beside me and was close to babbling out a load of nonsense about how exactly the situation downstairs had transpired... I was aware that this would not help, but I could think of nothing else to talk about. "Tell me what to say." I said finally.

Bella glanced over at me, her jaw tight and her eyes strained with pain. I felt myself recoil slightly, defensive without really knowing why. I suppose it was because this was about Edward and Edward had never brought me anything good. For that matter, the dick was long gone and he was still keeping me from the sister I'd never had a chance to know. Not that she'd wanted to know me. My face tightened and I started to stand, realizing that Bella didn't want me here. She wanted Edward. She'd always wanted Edward. I was just the stupid b**** who'd gotten in the way.

I stood abruptly, meaning to walk away.

Before I could, a cold hand reached out and grabbed mine.

"Gen..." Bella said weakly. "Genny, stay."

"Why?" I grumbled. "It's not like I could help."

"No one can help." Isabella told me, miserable. "But you should stay."

"Alright." I replied, feeling a bit helpless. I sat back down on the bed as she dropped my hand. There was a long ten seconds of silence. Then another. Then the Swan sisters glanced at each other awkwardly . "Now what?" I asked.

"I don't know." Bella said, looking as nervous as I was to be alone with her estranged twin. "What would you suggest?"

I considered for a moment and then gave a large shrug. "Talk about it?" I guessed, trying to fight off my own feelings of hurt and anger and barely succeeding. "I know you have to leave a ton of it out-Learned that the hard way—" I swallowed hard and forced myself to stay calm, "but he's a boy. If anything you can talk to me about boys."

"Or basketball." Bella joked weakly.

"Yeah, yeah." I frowned for a second and then gave her the mischievous look I'd always saved just for her. "Actually, yes. I will teach you basketball. This will be a thing."

Bella's eyes widened in panic. "Gen, I don't..."

"And we will be the stars of the basketball world! The Swan twins, Bella and Genevieve: most talented b-ballers to ever come out of Forks." I waved my hands dramatically. "You'll have to dye your hair though."

She smiled a little. "Dye my hair?"

"Yes. Preferably pink but I can settle for neon green." I nodded as though this was a generous thought.

"And your hair?" Bella asked mildly, probably more because she saw I was waiting for a response.

"My hair is the hair of legends." I sniffed haughtily, tossing said hair gracefully over my shoulders. "I will be wearing a mask."

"Why a mask?"

"It's the first thing that popped into my head." I admitted. I sighed and we sat in silence for a little bit. Silence again. I hate silence. "I..." I started to say that I'd never told her about Tyler when I remembered that love was not the best subject for Bella right now. I bit my lip: plus I think she'd figured it out. Hadn't she told me to go to homecoming with him? I glanced around, the silence stretching further. What to say, what to say.... Can't talk about vampires... We don't have the same friends.... Oh, cripes. Um..."Oh, hey! Thanks again for helping me out with those cookies."

"Yep." Bella said.

"No, no, no." I said. "That is not how it works."

"I don't..."

"No. You can't do this to me again." I was surprised at the seriousness in my voice but I'd wanted to say this for a while. "I've let you get away with a lot, Iz. And fine: there are some things you won't talk about. Fine. It's complete bulls***, but fine. But you need to talk."

Bella looked at me, finally giving me the angry look I'd been trying to accomplish with all of my pranks. "I'm fine." She said defiantly.

"Edward." I snapped. Her entire body recoiled with pain. "Dude, you're a mess."

"I know." Bella said shakily. "But I can control it."

"How?" I scoffed. "It's a freaking broken heart. You don't control it. You cry about it and whine about it and then..." I trailed off, blushing a little as it occurred to me that eighteen years old isn't really the epitome of all wisdom. "When Paul and I fell apart..."

"Please." Bella interrupted. "I can't talk about... that."

"Holy crap, I cannot do this." I groaned, digging my palms into my eyes.

"I'm sorry." Isabella said meekly.

"Don't be sorry." I turned to glare at her. "Not for this at least. He's the one to blame."

That finally got a reaction out of her.

"Don't blame him!" She dropped her arms from her chest, raising them as though she could not comprehend a world in which Edward were to blame. "It's my fault, not his."

I gaped at her, horrified. "Are you... holy s***. Are you serious? Are you effing serious?"

"Gen, don't—"

"Shut up." I snapped. I stood and began pacing back and forth, fighting very hard to keep my voice down: no one downstairs needed to hear this. "This is his fault. This is all his fault." She started to talk and I simply shushed her. "He's the one who almost got us killed. He's the one who made you keep the truth from me. He's the one who stole—"

"Gen!" Isabella interrupted, exasperated. "It's not like you wanted me here in the first place."

"Well excuse me for having a sister who hates every second she has to spend talking to me!" I snarled back. I hesitated and then let out a curse.

"What?" Bella said tiredly.

"I told Dad I'd be nice to you." I admitted, annoyed.

"Oh."

And we were back to silence, this one even more awkward then last as we'd just revealed yet again how terrible the two of us were at being sisters. I turned and walked over to her window, staring out at the layers of snow that had settled yet again. There was a chair between me and the window, a chair I was pretty sure Isabella spent most of her time in. A spot was starting to wear away on the seat and I knew for a fact that it hadn't been there when I'd owned half of this room.

"People are probably starting to notice we're gone." I muttered, tapping distractedly at the back of the chair.

"And they'll want to see what you got." Bella said thinly. I glanced over at her, puzzled. "The present." She explained.

"Oooh." I glanced down at it. "Yeah.... Sorry about that. Dad must have found it on the counter and assumed..." I sighed. "I didn't mean to ambush you like that." I looked back out the window, hand slipping into the pocket of my sweater to feel the slick, pink paper that Cullen had wrapped my birthday present with.

"You should open it."

"What?"

"Open it."

I gave her an incredulous look, more concerned by the fevered look in her eyes then her words. It reminded me... it reminded me of that time with our dear friend James, when we'd been dying... When the pain in my veins had started to fade...

I took a sharp breath and shook off the memories. "You sure?"

"Yes." She said. There was a little bit of guilt in her face as she spoke. "You'll... you'll like it."

I raised an eyebrow. "You know what this is?"

"Alice designed it." Isabella said, starting to looked strained. "Just open it."

"Ugh. Fine." I pulled out the package and glared down at it. "You know, I'd meant to toss this."

"You'll like it." Isabella repeated.

I shook my head slightly, disbelieving, and then I went back to the bed. Sitting down beside her, I started to rip at the paper. It was already a bit torn and scuffed from resting in the bottom of a backpack for two months or so and it wasn't long before I had a small white box in my hands. I bit my lip, curious and annoyed at the same time.

"You going to open it or what?"

"Shut up, Iz." I grumbled, laughing a little.

Carefully I opened the box, only to find it filled with tissue paper. I took a second to admire the brilliant pink, shaking my head as I wondered again how Edward or Bella had ever found my exact favorite color. Then I pulled out the small thing that the dickhead had wrapped up and tossed the wrappings onto the floor.

"Hmmm." I said, studying the small bits of metal I had resting in my hand. I dug it out of the rest of the tissue paper and dropped that on the floor as well. "A bracelet."

"For your wrist." Isabella said. "Merry Christmas, Genevieve."

I looked down, pursing my lips as I looked it over. It was a large bracelet, wide enough to cover my scar no matter where it slid on my wrist. It was dark but it had tiny, pale pink stones scattered around it to take away some of the contrast against my dark skin. Lifting the bracelet closer to my face I saw that what I'd taken for a simple chainmail type pattern was actually a hundred tiny leaves linked together. The tiny stones were welded randomly around, making it a field of flowers to blanket the memories of James and Victoria.

"Here." Bella said, holding out her hands as I started to pull off the scarf I'd wrapped around my wrist. For a second I almost refused her help, but... well... it was Christmas.

"Thanks." I muttered, watching as she draped the bracelet around the pale marks on my wrist and clasped the magnetic strips together. "I actually do like it."

"Good." Isabella said, staring at the thing and looking rather strained.

"We should go."

"Gen!" I jumped at the sound of my name, turning toward the door. "Bella!"

"Is that Jacob?" Isabella asked.

"Yep." I muttered. I stood and walked over to the door. "What!" I yelled back, sticking my head into the hall to glare at him.

He grinned up at me. "Sledding." He explained, gesturing toward the boots and coat he'd already pulled on. "Come on."

"Fiiiiine." I said, seeing my dad appear beside Jacob.

"Going sledding, huh?" My dad asked Jacob. He nodded and my dad looked up to me. "You bringing your sister?"

"I have a sister?" I said, feigning shock. I turned to look at Isabella. "Did you know this?"

"I had no idea." She replied, still sitting on the bed. Her voice had only a hint of her old sarcasm.

"You coming?" I asked.

She wrinkled her nose but started to follow me as I headed down the stairs.

"Yeah, come on, Bells." Jacob agreed, waiting below. "It won't be that bad."

"Dad, Isabella hates snow." I yelled down the hall as I reached the bottom. I glanced back at my sister, watching her nod furiously. "And cold." I added.

My dad reappeared as we reached the bottom, giving Bella a pinched look as he tried to judge what to do. Months of Isabella doing nothing... but she really did hate snow. Dad looked to me, but I was at just as much of a loss—I couldn't even decide if this was a good idea, much less how I could convince Bella to come.

Luckily, Bella read the worry on our faces and was guilted into it without words.

"I'll get our coats." She muttered to me.

"Awesome!" Jacob crowed.

"I'll get boots." I replied, ignoring the giant puppy named Jacob doing fist pumps beside me. "Dad? Where are the super thick gloves?"

"Closet." Dad said, heading back to the kitchen.

"Jacob?"

"On it!"

The three of us scampered around the house grabbing scarves and hats and boots while the older crowd watched in amusement. Most of the guests with kids had taken off and those that remained were a crowd that had known us from childhood and seemed to find it funny that we still liked the idea of snow. When we were pretty much done packing up, Billy appeared: we were headed up to LaPush for the best hills and he seemed to have decided to drive up with us.

"Gen." Jacob called.

I glanced back from my place at the front door, checking myself over to see if there was anyway to be warmer. "Yeah?"

"Go start my car for me, will you?" He said, making his way over to help Billy get his wheelchair out of the house and tossing me his keys.

I sighed but obeyed, kicking snow off the porch on my way out. My breath was immediately visible and I had to be very careful of the ice as I slid my way down the driveway, laughing and balling my hand into a fist around Jacob's keys. It actually wasn't too cold: definitely not as windy as the night Jacob'd had to come rescue me. I frowned as I reached his car, remembering that I'd yet to give him his present.

With a shrug I opened his car, not bothering to get in as I turned the key. I checked the heat was all the way up and then I was hurrying back to the house, pausing only for a second to admire the view of lights and snow and the berries dad had hung over the porch, windows, and front door at random intervals.

A few moments more of running around the house to see if we had a sled and we were ready to go. I waited on the porch, holding the door with one hand and the old blue toboggan with the other. Honestly, my arm was starting to fall asleep—the thing was a little too heavy, meant for three or four people and a couple inches taller then me—but Isabella was inside, putting off the cold until the last minute, and Jacob was busy helping his dad.

Just one more second, I promised my arm. Hold on just a little longer. Don't embarrass me. Why am I talking to my arm?

"'Scuse me." Jacob growled as he pushed past and moved Billy carefully down the steps.

I caught the door with my ankle as soon as they were clear, gritting my teeth as I caught the sled with my other hand. "A little help, Iz?" I asked.

Disaster.

Bella moved forward, reaching out to help. Just as she cleared the door, I tried to adjust my position and the toboggan slid out from my reach. I tried to catch it, wincing as I readied myself for the loud crash and probably a large dent in the porch floor. Unfortunately Isabella reached too.

Jacob had just gotten Billy safely down and turned to see what was happening when he found a toboggan starting to topple toward the two of them. Quickly, with reflexes much faster than I could have managed, Jake scaled the steps and grabbed the top of the sled. He grinned down at me as I found myself falling forward, trying to catch a sled that no longer needed saving. His grin got a bit more smug as he caught me too, his hand finding my elbow and setting me right as I turned to glare at my mortified, younger sister.

She wasn't looking at me.

She was looking up.

"Wha—" I turned to glance at Billy. He also pointed up, to the porch above our heads. I looked up but found nothing noticeable, just snow and lights and berries. "What?"

"Gen..." Isabella said, wincing at my glare. She awkwardly pointed up.

"Yes, I get that there is something abo—" I trailed off and looked up again. Snow.... Lights... Crap. I looked to Jacob, my face caught between discomfort and annoyance.

Jacob was still looking up. "Is that...?"

"Mistletoe?" I finished for him. "Apparently."

"Oh." Jacob said.

"Yep."

"I didn't..."

"Me neither."

"But we don't—"

"Oh, just kiss the girl and let's get going." Billy interrupted, shaking his head and starting his way down the drive way. Isabella followed after, holding up a hand to hide her face as she snuck past and walked quickly through the snow to the road.

I turned back to Jacob. "Argh." I said, the noise coming out rather strangled.

"Oh, relax, Gen." Jacob said, not nearly as self-conscious as I was. And before I could even open my mouth to say another word he pressed his lips to mine.

It was just a moment: just a second of the cold biting my skin except where a pair of warm lips met mine. Just a peck, a short brush together: not at all the most passionate kiss ever. He kissed me. Then he grabbed the sled and started to haul it down the driveway, not bothering to look back at me.

This was a good thing.

It meant he didn't see how badly I blushed.