December

Jacob never had finished whatever he'd meant to ask me on the hill. Instead we'd spent the rest of the trip talking about the old days and swapping stories from our childhood. He'd left me acting a little awkward, but our texting since then had been normal and I was a little wary every time someone knocked on the door, wondering when Jacob was going to 'kidnap' me again.

As it was, I didn't get to see him again for a while. December became a very busy month very quickly. Basketball practice picked up first as we started to have more games. Then homework increased, along with the usual bull about 'getting us ready for college, which would be much harder'... not that any of it was very hard, there was just way too much of it. When I wasn't messing around with school stuff, I was at work most weekends and getting pulled into some scheme or other of Lizzie and Cassandra's. When they were busy with their boyfriends, Dad was also pressuring me to hang out with Isabella. And then I had to go play basketball and take very short hikes to get rid of the excess energy building up from not yelling at her to get over it.

It got so bad, I had to ask Annie to cut back on hours, switching my work schedule to only Saturday mornings and most of Sunday. I then got so overwhelmed with the extra time at home with Isabella that I signed up to take over coaching for one of the local kids' teams one weekend. And then the next weekend. And then I had two jobs and about enough free time to sleep, shower, and eat .

"So what excuses are you making this weekend?" Jessica Stanley accused, popping up suddenly behind me as I slammed a locker shut after gym.

"Um... Depends on what's offered." I said with a shrug. I wasn't sure why she kept wanting to hang out: I think she'd noticed that all the drama had made me a bit more well-known and she took it as popular. Then again, she and I did have similar taste... and it had been fun back on the one night in Port Angeles... "Though Saturday evening should be free."

"Yeah?" She said. "How about some Christmas shopping? Angela and I were going to spend a whole Saturday on it... but you can come join us when you're free?"

I nodded, then frowned. "Lauren?"

"Busy." Angela said hurriedly.

"Alright." I glanced around the empty locker room. "I have to get to class. Text me?"

"Yep!"

I spent the next class making out a list of who I was obligated to get gifts for.

Dad and Mom... Though I could get away with ignoring that one.

Isabella. Not that she'd remember one for me.

The team I played with.

The team I coached.

My boss.

Jess and Angela, probably.

I bit my lip as I added the next name, knowing it was polite but not sure at all how it made me feel to be buying a gift for Jacob Black. Then I added Billy Black to the list and felt a bit better. And then I remembered that Jacob's last gift had been a joke and Tyler Crowley asked me why I was smiling so widely.

I ignored Tyler and was extremely happy when the bell rang ten minutes later, interrupting Tyler's pouting and asking to see what I'd been writing. Hurrying out of the room, I bumped into Annalise and walked with her to practice, exchanging ideas about funny gag gifts and ignoring her questions about which of the guys from last year's beach trip was this Jacob person.

I was in a weirdly good mood when I got home after practice, still thinking about Christmas and my birthday and good presents to get. It was when I was walking up the driveway that I started to go over who had given me presents, trying to figure out if I was forgetting anyone. I got to the door and started digging in my backpack for my keys when the two ideas clicked and remembered one other present I had received. A present I had not opened.

Ugh.

Edward.

I made my way to the kitchen for some supper, rummaging through the bag for the bright pink package and finding it under a layer of notes, pencils, and an article on the Wizards someone had given me. Wrinkling my nose at the present, I set the mess on the counter and threw some leftover sloppy joe into the microwave.

"Gen? Bella?" I sighed as my dad came in the front door, calling our names. When was Bella ever down here?

"In the kitchen," I said, barely loud enough to be heard.

My dad wandered in and smiled at me tiredly. "Hey, Gen. How was your day, hon?"

"Good." I shrugged and went to grab another plate as he retrieved the buns for me. "Hanging out with Jess and Angela tomorrow, I guess."

My dad looked over sharply. "Not hiking?"

"Dad, it's like negative forty." I grumbled. "We're going shopping. Christmas shopping. So you're not allowed in my room until I find some wrapping paper."

My dad ignored this—he was never allowed in my room anyway—and simply nodded. "Good. And you're not hiking with Jacob any time soon?" He insisted.

"Um. No?" I opened the microwave to test the sloppy joe and then slammed the door shut to add another minute, licking the sauce off my finger. "Why?" He opened his mouth, but I interrupted, my voice shrill as I read the look on his face. "Not more animals?"

"Not near here." My dad assured me. "But there were similar attacks further north... And someone keeps seeing some sort of bear... I don't know, Genny. Just stay in town."

"Easy enough." I muttered. I paused to think as I began to pour the sauce over the buns, making a rather large mess on the plate but figuring I could just throw some potato chips over it. "What about you?"

"What?" My dad said, puzzled.

"Are you going to stay out of the oh-so-dangerous forests?" I clarified.

He frowned at me, itching at his moustache as he considered the serious look on my face. I was honestly as surprised as he was: a person mistaking a vampire for a bear? Ridiculous. The idea of my small town, friendly cop dad running into that vampire? Yet another horror to add the list. I felt my face grow more tense as I considered all the people on my list of presents, all the other people who were really in danger without knowing that there were monsters hiding in the shadows, even in a small town like this.

"Genevieve?" My dad said, breaking through my thoughts with gentle concern in his eyes.

I smiled up at him, trying to seem normal. "Just be careful, alright? You're getting kind of old..."

"Oh?" My dad raised an eyebrow. "First Christmas presents, now worrying about your old man?" He gave me a smug look. "Someone's gone to see the wizard about a heart, haven't they?"

I scowled and stuck out my tongue at him. He just laughed and grabbed his plate, walking off to let me recover from his zinger. I heard the tv soon after, tuned in to some game recap, but decided not to go in and watch with him. Instead I grabbed my meal and headed upstairs to finish up homework, grabbing a drink from the fridge on my way.

Little did I know, it was going to be the most uneventful night of my weekend.

...

"Do you think a cd is a generic enough gift that Isabella will like it?" I asked the next day, glaring through the window of a little music store.

"Just buy her a necklace or something." Jess said.

"She doesn't wear jewelry." I bit my lip. "I could borrow it later."

Jess laughed. Angela opened the door the music store.

We followed the same plan as we had the last time we'd gone shopping together, this time without the search for Bella interrupting it. Or Edward appearing out of nowhere. Oh, crap, what had happened to that present? I shook off the thought and grabbed a couple cds, an ELO for dad, a mopey indie band for Bella, and classical for my mom. I considered for a second grabbing a kiddie cd for Jacob, but imagining the look on his face when he opened it made me shake my head and ignore it. Then I turned around and went back and grabbed it for my rather short friend Cassandra. I picked out one or two other cds for the rest of my basketball team and decided to give the rest of them a movie or something.

"Done?" Jess asked, heading over to the cashier with a couple cds of her own.

"Yeah..." I turned to Angela. "Ready to eat?" I asked with a grin.

Angela smiled slightly and then took my arm to pull me back, keeping me from heading over to Jessica. "Gen, can I ask...?"

"What."

She leaned in to speak in a hushed voice. "How is Bella doing?"

"Ugh." I glanced over to make sure Jess wasn't going to overhear and start glaring at us for mentioning my zombie weirdo sister. "I have no idea. Not any better."

"But is she..."

"Angela." I groaned. "She talked to you a lot more than she ever talked to me. If anything changed, you guys will be the first to know. And I will be the last. Because my sister is an ass. I am a poet. Kind of."

Angela just shook her head and went over to talk to Jess. I followed her, trying very hard to hide how annoyed I was with her reaction. I hadn't yet come up with a lie to explain how I felt about Bella: 'she won't admit that vampires exist' didn't strike as the best thing to start spreading around. Though a lot of my friends would probably think I was kidding and spread the rumor as a joke...

"Gen, you coming?"

"What? Oh. Yeah."

We spent the rest of the evening talking about boys. Angela was approaching five months with her boyfriend Ben and Jess wanted our input on if she should break up with Mike. When the conversation turned to what I'd been up to, Jess and I had a good ten minutes bashing Tyler and Lauren—he'd apparently finally asked her on a date after the Halloween fiasco with me—and then Angela asked me if I had anyone new.

"Oh." I frowned at them, stirring absentmindedly at my Dr. Pepper. "No."

"No?" Jess asked, incredulous.

"No." I was just as puzzled as her. "I guess I've been busy. And I still don't have that much energy: not enough for dating drama..."

"What about those guys who followed you into Tyler's party?" Jess said pointedly.

I laughed: she thought I was hiding something? Me? Nooo. "Ditched me after that." I said. "Besides, that was Paul and his friends. No thanks." I winced theatrically and took a sip of soda. "Mmm."

"So no one?" Jess continued probing. "No one new at all?"

"Don't you think you'd have seen me talking to them at school?" I asked. Then I frowned, considering. "I guess I've been talking to Jacob."

"Jacob?" Jess looked intrigued. "Who's Jacob?"

"Just some kid from LaPush. He's just... 16. But he can be, uh, fun, I guess." I sighed. "I've known him forever."

"16?" Jess said. I tried very hard not to make a face as I remembered that technically he was still 15 for a month. "Don't you have enough of kids with your coaching job?"

"He seems older?" I said lamely. It was hard to argue when the most frequent word I've used around Jacob is 'kid'. "I don't know. We don't hang out. We just talk. He's funny."

"Funny?" Jess was unconvinced. "Ok... I guess 16 isn't that—"

"We're just..." I stopped.

"What?" Angela asked. Jess was still wrapping her head around hanging out with a sophomore.

"I don't know. I just... I don't know." I turned to Jessica and asked very deliberately, "Is Mike older or younger then you?"

That managed to derail the conversation for the rest of the meal. Afterwards, I had Jacob and my stepdad's presents to buy and Jess and Angela decided to head home without me, not interested in visiting the main shopping mall again. I found a cheap tie and got it for my stepdad, trying the whole way to think of something to buy Jacob that would actually make him laugh. I wandered up and down the mall for twenty minutes before I got angry and decided to just buy him a bag of random crud from the dollar store back in Forks.

The last stop was for a cookie and then the mall was closing and I had to walk out to my car as I munched through a mass of caramel and chocolate chips. I thought about texting my dad that I was heading home, but figured it was better not to. He tended to calculate how long it should take me and either comment on my speed or call me if I didn't get home fast enough. With the 'animal' conversation we'd had yesterday, I wasn't going to get into that mess.

Thinking of my dad, I took out the ELO cd and opened it: I doubted he'd notice it wasn't sealed if I covered my tracks well enough and I was in the mood for some old stuff. The first song on the album was 'Mr. Blue Sky' and I drove out of Port Angeles as it played through a second time, banging away at the steering wheel along with the sound of cowbell. I was actually in a bit of good mood, as long as I didn't think back to the conversation over dinner, and singing (at the top of my lungs to each song as I repeated it for a reminder of lyrics) meant I had a big smile on my face when my stupid car suddenly began to sputter

My eyes widened and I turned down the volume, watching in horror as the speedometer went down, down, down as I continued pressing the gas pedal. I looked to the gas gauge and groaned as I pulled over to the side of the deserted 101, looking up to see the sign for the Forks exit up ahead: the gauge was at the same place it had been when I'd left Forks that afternoon.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Damn it! F***! F***! F***!" I growled. It wasn't going to take Jacob's book to tell me what dumb mistake I'd made. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhh**." I said, just for good measure. "Now what?"

I knew Jess and Angela weren't going to be very enthusiastic about driving all the way out to the highway again after their day of shopping. My dad was still at work and Isabella was worthless these days. I glanced at the clock: I wasn't sure which of my friends was working, but I was pretty sure it was all of them... Except one.

I flipped open the phone and found his number. He picked up after what felt like a million rings.

"Hello?"

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake."

"Um, yes?"

"I'm an idiot." I complained, smacking my head against the headrest and pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Ok?" He laughed. I heard him tell someone else what I'd said and then he was back with me. "Is that all you called to tell me?"

"No." I reached out to take the key out of the ignition, stalling for a good excuse. It didn't come. "I ran out of gas."

There was a short pause. Then, of course: "Where are you?"

"101 north of Forks. Just by the ten mile sign. Going into Forks." I glanced out the window at the dark sky, scowling at the lack of stars. "Hurry up, it's cold."

"No problem." Jacob said. "I just have to run home to get the car and I can grab some gas on the way."

"Home? Where are you?"

"Quil's. Actually, he might let me borrow his car..."

"Um..." I started to protest, not sure how much of a favor I was now asking for. Then I glanced out the window. "Oh, cripes."

"What?"

"I think it's snowing."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Jacob promised hurriedly.

I hung up before I could convince myself to change my mind.

...

I was shivering pretty badly by the time Jacob drove up but the snow was light enough that he had no trouble spotting me. As he pulled up and shifted to park, I was already hopping out of my car and walking quickly over to start pulling at the handle to his passenger door. He had to wave for me to stop as I pulled at the same time as he hit the button, but eventually I was able to throw myself into his car and give an elaborate last shiver as the warmth hit me.

Jacob looked over, concerned. "You don't have gloves or a hat?"

I shook my head, teeth chattering slightly as he turned the heat up. "It wasn't that cold this morning and I haven't been home."

"I brought my tools." Jacob said. "You're sure it's the gas?"

"Yeah. But the gauge is stuck. You can just fix that, though, right?" I scowled but I think the teeth chattering ruined it as he only smiled at me as I cursed. "Stupid effing car."

"Sorry." Jacob smiled apologetically as I groaned. "It's just gonna get stuck there again. But it should go up enough when I fill it that you can just mentally note where it goes when it's empty." Jacob placed a hand on the door and then turned back to give me an apologetic smile. "Ready?"

"Oh, no." I pulled my legs up onto the seat, curling up into a ball as I considered the wind that was about to hit me. "Noooo." I shook my head violently.

"Gen..." He laughed and pulled off his jacket, tossing it over me. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck not freezing to death while I sit in your warm car with your warm jacket." I said agreeably. This seemed too nice. "Muah ha ha."

He rolled his eyes. "See you in a bit, Gen."

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth, ignoring him as I heard the sound of the trunk opening and closing. I was dozing by the time he came back, waking abruptly as he opened the door and a rush of cold air and snow swirled into the car after him.

"Can I have your keys?"

Numbly I reached into my pocket and tossed them onto the driver's seat. Jake slammed the door shut again and disappeared for a bit into the dark and snow. A few seconds later I saw the lights from my car flickering dimly through the drifts. They lasted for about thirty seconds and then Jacob was back, grinning proudly again as he clambered back into his car.

"All set!" He told me, yet again reminding me of a puppy as he bounced into his seat and looked eagerly over at me. He looked practically invigorated, his cheeks a brilliant pink from the cold and his grin brilliant as his breath puffed out clouds of vapor.

"Well, I'd give you a cookie but I left them all at home." I teased drily.

He shrugged. "I should follow you home anyway. To make sure that was all that's wrong with your..." He stopped to put air quotations around his next word. "'car'."

I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it. Swore inside my head. Then I nodded, smiled tightly, and climbed out of the car. The second the door slammed shut I had my phone in my hand, frantically dialing my home number and praying that Bella was going to answer.

Riiing.

Beeeeelllllaaaaaaa.

Riiing.

Why do I speak? Why do I lie about things that don't matter? Damn it!

Riing.

"Hello?"

"Isabella!" I glanced back at Jacob, waiting patiently for me to get in my car and drive already, and covered my mouth so that he couldn't read lips. "Um..."

"What?"

"Can you go buy me some cookies?"

There was a bit of silence. Then Bella's dead voice.

"It's like 8 o'clock at night." She said slowly.

"Yeah, well..." I sighed, finally getting into the car. "Jake's coming over and I promised him a cookie."

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know!" I snapped, slamming the door and scowling at the broken dashboard. "I guess I'm just trying to embarrass myself as thoroughly as possible before the day is over. Will you help or not?"

"Yeah. What kind?"

"I don't know! Anything! Whatever the first cookie you see is! You have like twenty minutes!" She didn't reply. "Bella!"

"I'm going." She grumbled. "Forks is tiny; I'll be there and back in two minutes."

"It's snowing."

"Five minutes. Don't worry about it, Gen."

"Oh, yeah. Sure." I growled, not at all encouraged by her dead voice.

There was actually a little bit of gumption in her reply, just enough to notice.

"I won't let you down." Isabella protested. A pause. "Gen, I..."

"Just get me my damn cookies!" I begged. Jacob had started to unbuckle his seatbelt, probably thinking my car wasn't starting.

A pause.

"Ok." She said lamely.

"Ok!"

And so I closed the phone, started my car, and drove off without another glance behind me.

...

Half a bag of Oreos and five mugs of cocoa later, Jake and I sat on the couch looking guilty as my dad arrived home to find us arguing tiredly over who had to make the next cup of cocoa.

"Gen..." My dad started sternly.

"What?" I asked, truly puzzled: there was a good long list of things that could bring that look to my dad's face and he shouldn't know about any of them.

"You said you were going out with..." He paused and waved a hand helplessly before finishing with, "those girls."

"I did." I turned to Jacob. "I did, didn't I?"

"Um..." Jacob laughed awkwardly. "I have no idea."

I sighed angrily, looking back to my skeptical dad. "I did. But then stuff happened." I opened my mouth but found that I simply could not explain what had happened, not after all the embarrassment I'd already brought on that night. Remembering Jess's comments on Jacob I glanced over at him and suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. "And. Now... I'm... going to bed. Yeah." I nodded decisively and walked out of the room before anyone could stop me, assuming that Jacob would just leave now that there was no one there to entertain him.

I was in a weird mood and I locked the door behind me when I got to my bedroom, turning on my computer and throwing my phone onto the bed so carelessly that it ended up in the crack against the wall. Ignoring it, I changed into a baggy t-shirt, the giant sweatshirt I'd stolen from Tyler, and my warmest flannel pants and turned the lights off, covering my computer with a blanket so that the room was dark again.

Grabbing the cover off my bed, I wrapped myself up and began to pull my bed across the room and over to my one window. This was the spot I'd once preferred to sleep... before I'd begun to worry about things hunting me. Now I didn't care: I just wanted a comfy, warm place to sit while I watched the snow. So I jumped onto my bed and wrapped myself up, wishing again for that one more cup of hot chocolate as I felt the chill flowing through the glass into my room. I couldn't move away though, I couldn't stop watching the quiet night and the glow of snow falling peacefully over the world. Maybe it wouldn't stay, maybe there were days when I preferred the patter of rain... but today, tired and content from time with friends, I loved the snow.

I'd been sitting there maybe five minutes when my phone buzzed. I looked over at it, sitting on the floor where it had dropped when I'd moved the bed. Then I turned back to look outside. The snow had picked up enough that the ground and street were covered in a thin sweep of white, but now it lightened so that the air was less a fog of white and more a scattering of the tiny crystals lazily finding their way to earth. It was the perfect scene and I began to hum Christmas carols under my breath, loving the feeling of being alone and cozy and safe.

I kept watching, fascinated at the peaceful stillness of it, until a movement caught my eye. It was Jacob, walking down the driveway to get to his car across the street. He was walking slowly, his eyes scanning the sky like mine, taking in the beauty we'd have for one night, maybe two.

As he reached the middle of the road he glanced back. His eyes went to my window.

"Crap!"

I threw myself backwards, managing to rest a good five inches below the windowsill. I waited a good half minute and then peeked again. I had to pull back again, wincing after finding Jacob still standing there. Seconds later, I slithered off the bed, crawling across the floor to retrieve my buzzing phone.

I skipped past the first message, a goodbye, to find Jacob's message from two seconds before.

'I can see you.'

"Noooooo." I groaned, rolling onto my back to stare hopelessly up at the dark ceiling. The wooden floor was cold against my back as I held the phone above my face and started texting him back.

'I'm sleeping.' I wrote, scowling at the phone and blinking dozily. I then frowned at the little pop-up as it told me 'message sent!', realizing that this had not been one of my best lies. Before I could think of a way out to what was sure to be yet another embarrassing nightmare, Jacob text me back.

'Well, if I woke you up anyway you could at least come and let me wave good-bye.'

I sighed, wondering if Jacob was being nice or if he really thought that I'd been exaggerating instead of trying to lie again. Either way, I was starting to get very cold and I could see just enough snowfall out my window to want to get back over there and give my friend a break.

When I crawled onto the bed and peered over the window, keeping down enough that I wasn't sure if Jacob could see me, he was still in the same spot he'd been before. There was a light dusting of white forming over his body but he was still, watching my window and waiting for my reappearance.

Slowly I pulled myself up an inch. Then another inch. Then just one more inch. By the time I was showing above the window again I could see Jacob shaking with laughter and my phone was buzzing.

'Next time, we gotta work on your stealthiness'

Jerk!

I started to wave my hands, ready to yell a response... then I remembered he could still see me. Instead I raised my chin, looked down my nose at the small figure in front of my house, and fought back an embarassed smile as I sent a new message.

' I wasn't watching you'

I looked out the window and watched as he read the text and then shook his head. Moments later I got his reply.

' Never said you were'

I opened my mouth again, ready to grumble my reply as I typed it, but a glance out the window showed me he was still typing.

'...but you just confirmed it'

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I didn't have to look at Jake to see the annoyingly smug grin he had plastered across his face. I looked anyway, hands raised threateningly as I found him laughing at me.

Incredibly embarrassed and annoyed, I slammed each button down as I texted out my message.

'stop being an annoying little brat and leave already'

My thumb went to hit 'send' and then I paused. I glanced again at the grinning boy looking up at me, narrowed my eyes to show him how I felt, and then went back to edit the message.

'stop being a giant dork and leave already. Some of us need our beauty sleep'

I leaned my head against the window, realizing tiredly that there were several good comebacks he could hit me with. I watched him read the message and glance up at me. We looked at each other for a moment, both of us quiet and tired as the snow floated down around us. The feeling of being alone in the world returned and I almost didn't mind that I was now alone in the world with him. Then, shaking his head as if to clear it, Jacob looked back at his phone and sent one last message.

'alright but we need to go sledding at some point. '

I smiled a little despite myself.

'fine. let me sleep, dork'

'well then wave goodbye to me already'

I turned, rolling my eyes before giving him a sarcastic little wave. He returned it with an awkward wave of his own and then he finally climbed into his car and I watched him drive away, wondering if I should have told him to drive safe or something dumb and motherly like that.

Shaking my head, I read through our conversation one more time, winced at all the embarrassments of the day, and fell asleep wondering where the heck my life was headed.