So, I wondered. Fight or flight?

When Bella had gotten into her accidents, falling or knocking stuff over or nearly being crushed by my crush's runaway van: that wasn't an emergency any more. That was normal everyday Isabella and I could see it and react calmly.

When Victoria had grabbed me, I'd had no time to react, had been drugged and taken before I even knew what was happening.

When James attacked me in the ballet studio, I'd been unable to move and unable to fight.

Now that I thought about it, life had taught me that fighting wasn't really an option. To be resigned to it all. And I'd been trying to convince myself that I was.

But I wasn't.

I was scared.

And I wanted to live.

Jacob hung up my phone and scooped me up into his arms, looking like he wanted to say something about the way my body was starting to tremble but staying silent instead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he hurried down the stairs, heading straight out the back door without saying anything. I looked up at his face and found his eyes darting around, searching for a sign of the vampire or maybe for anybody who might see us. We entered the woods at the border of my backyard and cut off the last bit of warmth that had been leaking through the clouds. I started to shiver, realizing that I didn't have a coat, gloves, or even freaking shoes. In comparison, Jacob burned too hot where my skin met his and just made my fear worse as it reminded me that he wasn't just Jake anymore.

"Crap." Jake made to set me down and then jolted back up. "Crap!"

"Should we go back to the house?" I was shaking, terror and cold seeping into me so that I felt like I had no control over my own body.

"I want to get to Sam. Or somebody." Jacob bit his lip, apparently finding that his quick thinking in getting us out of the tiny attic had actually been a bad thing. He turned so that we could both see that last glimpse of my house, a sliver through the thick trees. "If there's one vamp we didn't know about..."

"There might be more?"

"I don't know... This redhead vamp... Gen, I think we just need to get out of here." He moved to set me down again and I clung to his neck confused.

"What are you doing?"

"Genevieve, it'll go faster if I'm a-"

I pressed myself against him, closing my eyes and burying my face in his chest. "No."

I knew it was stupid. That I was reverting back to the panicked girl I'd been almost a year ago. But all this time I'd spent trying to get better... I'd been removed from the threat. I guess I'd had time to start pushing the reality of it all away. And getting thrown back into it, having my return into that world begin by the sight of Jacob as a monster? Jacob? Only as a last resort.

I felt like the walls were caving in around me but if I could hang on to that thought... if I could keep Jake just a little while longer...

"Gen, Genevieve, stay with me." Jacob sounded terrified. "Gen? Gen, you're safe, remember?"

"I'm fine. Just..." I pretended that the arms tightening around me were human, that he was holding me only because he wanted to. "Let's just go, ok?"

"Your coat..."

I could act reasonably about that at least. "We should get to Sam. I'm ok." I took a shaky breath and looked up at him. "If you can carry me, then I am ok."

Jake took one last look around, searching the trees and turning to check behind us for a sign of the monster that might be hunting us. Then he took off at a sprint, not quite bothering to hold me steady as we made our way at breakneck speed through the woods that surrounded Forks.

I watched the trees passing by at first but as Jacob's pace only grew faster I started to absorb the inhumanness of it-carrying me and still managing to run twice as fast as I would have thought possible. This thought made my breath catch in my throat and I had to close my eyes after that, thinking of nothing but the fact that I could still breathe, that Jacob was going to make sure I kept breathing and my heart kept beating and that if Jake was here I would be alive and no one would hurt me and...

These thoughts felt uncomfortable but they were all I had.

We'd made it quite far into the woods before Jacob suddenly came to a stop, looking around again desperately for something in the woods around us. I looked to, no idea why he had suddenly found the need to look around again.

"Jake?"

"I smell it." He muttered, wrinkling his nose in disgust. He was angry now. "It's following us, I think... But where...?"

The vampire jumped down from a tree just ahead of us, making no noise as it stared us down with its bloody red eyes. It was a male vampire, with dark skin and long hair. He looked us curiously, eying me in Jacob's arms and then smiling at the aggressive look on Jacob's face. He looked nervous but he also looked amused.

"Well, well, well." He said, sounding almost friendly. "Looks like I found you afterall."

...

I swallowed hard, choking on the terror of his red eyes. It was worse, now, without the drugs and agony to distract me. I knew what was real. I knew that this, whatever happened, was going to stick with me for just as long as the scars on my wrist.

Unless of course he managed to kill us both.

With that thought shattering around in my mind, I was the first to react. I threw myself out of Jacob's arms as I saw the signs of fury start to shiver across his body. His jaw was clenched against it, his face again reminding me of the ever angry Paul. My brain could pretend I had Jake back but everything that happened now was saying I'd lost Jacob Black for good.

And now I had sadness to contend with too.

Dang it all.

I was the first to react, Jacob being distracted with fighting off his transformation. As the outline of his body blurred as though I were starting to pass out, I tumbled out of his arms and off to the side. Jacob turned his torso just enough that I wouldn't land between him and the smiling gentleman of a vampire but his eyes never left his enemy.

Noting that both of them had their eyes locked on each other, remembering that Jacob was a monster just like the vampire, my first instinct turned out to be flight. I made it a couple stumbling steps, my feet burning with cold and wet that seeped into my socks. I stepped on a rock and the pain brought me to a stop, sent me tumbling down with the momentum so that I now had the damp ground soaking into my knees and dirty scrapes across my palms. I began to struggle to my feet, remembered the bruise developing on the sole of my right foot, and decided to turn over instead. Resigned to the cold soaking into the seat of my pants, I found Jacob and the vampire right where I'd left them.

"You alright-it's Gen, right?" The vampire asked. He was slowly circling back and forth, looking Jacob up and down for a sign of weakness.

I scooted sideways, finding a tree to rest against so that I had Jacob between me and the vampire and the trunk of an oak to protect our back. "Who are you?"

The vampire smiled at me, red eyes glinting in amusement at the anger on Jacob's face... or maybe at the shake in my voice. "I'm a friend of Victoria's... but you knew that. You two can call me Laurent."

"I don't need to call you anything." Jacob spat. He shifted slightly, turning his head as though he wanted to check on me but unable to look away from our new friend Laurent. "You're trespassing and you need to leave."

Trespassing? I looked around, trying to figure out if we'd made it to LaPush territory but it was impossible to tell. Then again, I had no idea what counted as werewolf territory. Forks? Washington? The continental United States?

"What are you even doing here in the first place?" I asked desperately. If Jake was willing to put off becoming a wolf I was all for it. I just hoped Sam could find us before this become a horrible mistake. "What do you want?"

"Oh, just tit for tat." Laurent chuckled. "Victoria, well... she's sort of... put out with your sister, my dear Gen."

I saw Jacob's outline begin to blur again, his hands clenched into fists as the vampire said my name.

"Isabella?" I was starting to panic, wanting to distract the vampire, wanting to distract Jacob, wanting to stall for Sam. "But ... but..." I grabbed hold of an idea and bit my lip as I tried to make it fit with the way our conversation was working. "But why would you be upset with her?"

He shook his head, looking straight at me now. "I know, it seems a little backward to me, too. But James was her mate, and Edward killed him."

I nodded, thinking hard. If we were already in LaPush with Jake as a human... Sam couldn't possibly need that much more time. And maybe I didn't have real reason to put of a fight for much longer but...

But I could lie.

I swallowed the lump in my throat hoping that this wasn't about to backfire horribly.

"But what do you care about James?" I asked, trying to sound confused.

"James? Nothing. It's just a favor." Laurent stepped closer and Jacob leaned forward, ready to attack until I muttered his name in a plea to wait. Laurent continued as though he hadn't heard. "She asked me to get the lay of the land for her, so to speak. I managed quite nicely and, well... Victoria thought Bella might need a little nudge to get out of hiding."

He smiled at me again. Jacob snarled. "A... a nudge?"

Oh Jacob please control yourself. "That doesn't matter." I interrupted.

"Oh, yes. And we agreed that it would be my treat-" Laurent was saying to Jake. At my words he turned and looked sharply at me, seeming to realize that something was up but not sure what. "What?"

"Victoria doesn't matter anymore." I repeated. Then, with as much confidence as I could muster, I threw out the biggest lie I could think of.

"Victoria's dead."