I sat in the living room beside my sister, both of us lost in thought and staring absently at some random show as it danced across the tv screen. It had been a week since her accident and an hour since we'd gotten home, her from work and me from coaching the kids' league. Now we were stalling. Or we were paralyzed. Hard to know if you just can't or won't move when you don't bother to try.

I was thinking about Paul. I was also wondering about Sam and Embry. I was wondering about the burning hot feel of his skin under my hand as he dragged my sister out of the frozen pond. I was trying desperately to hold on to the possibility that I was both not crazy and that the supernatural had not been leaking into my life even more.

A week ago had been better. A week ago I'd still been convinced that a high fever could explain it, that Paul was just a really sick guy in a really weird gang. An hour of googling had brought an end to that theory and a beginning to the fight I was now finally losing. The fight to convince myself that life could be simple and normal for five seconds and that Iz and I weren't cursed to circle in and out of a horror story for the rest of our lives. To convince myself that Paul was normal.

At this thought, I stood up abruptly and stalked out of the room, suddenly filled with a need to see Paul, to find out what the hell was going on.

Hoping I was moving quickly enough to avoid Bella realizing my plan, I threw on my coat and boots and grabbed an orange from the kitchen as a make-do supper. I managed to make it to the driveway before she caught on and appeared in the doorway.

"Where are you going?" She called out in a thin voice.

I studied my twin for a moment, a pale girl blending with the snow and shivering with the cold. She was wrapped in a blanket and looked exactly the same as she had when we'd drowned her with sweatshirts and blankets a week ago, trying to dry her off after that stupid pond.

"Just heading out." I told her. "See Jake maybe."

"Jake?" She asked and a bit of pep came back at the mention of our friend: maybe it was her posture? The way her arms loosened from where they hugged the blanket to her body?

"Yeah..." Ugh, she wanted to come. And if I wasn't lying, I would be a jerk not to let her but... yeah. I was lying. Mostly. "Maybe. But you should still be resting."

"I'm feeling fine." She snapped back. I raised an eyebrow and she bit her lip. "I mean, you don't need to worry about me."

"As far as I can tell," I told her. "There is a curse that the Swan girls must have a near death experience twice every 6th months. That means we're behind schedule and, as it's my turn, you should stay safely at home. Only fair."

"Oh, haha." Bella grumbled turning away.

I turned back to my car, grinning as I fumbled with the keys: I knew she was doing the math herself.

...

I pulled into LaPush, letting my car glide to a stop just in front of Paul Lahote's house. I saw the family car in the driveway and gave my ugly old car an encouraging pat on the steering wheel.

"Here goes nothing." I muttered. Then I laughed. "Well, nothing new."

Yep.

Time to lie.

I climbed out of the car and went up to the front hood, then walked back to the car and flipped the lever to open it. With a cute little 'clunk' it popped up far enough for me to lift the dang thing and start examining the disaster of an engine with false concern on my face.

I did this for maybe five minutes, glancing up at the house every few seconds to see if anyone had noticed me.

Nothing.

Not willing to give up easily, I turned and trudged through the snow on the curb and straight through the Lahote's yard. I was getting to cold for common courtesy to enter my mind. When I rang their doorbell, it only took a second for Mr. Lahote to appear and give me a puzzled smile before he happened to glance back at the street.

"Having a bit of trouble, Genny?" He asked.

"Errm... Yeah, is Paul around?" I glanced past him but there was no sign of movement and he was already shaking his head. "No?"

"Out with the gang." His dad laughed. "Not that he's much good with cars, Genny."

"Oh, yeah, I know." I said, smiling easily. "But Jake Black is and I wasn't sure the car would make it that much farther. I was hearing some weird noises, you know?"

"You wanna use our phone quick?" Mr. Lahote offered, stepping back to let me through.

"I..." I'd meant to say I wanted Paul to help me push the car a bit. "Yeah, sure. It's a bit cold out."

"Not good for old cars." He agreed, locking the door behind and then pointing toward the phone on the other side of the living room.

"Thanks." I said, starting toward it and wondering if I actually knew Jacob's number or if I'd have to sneak a peek at my cell. "So Paul's feeling better then?"

"Feeling better?" His dad asked, looking up from stacking some of the dishes someone—probably Paul—had left on the coffee table.

"Yeah... last week, he had a bit of a fever I think?" I shrugged, pretending I simply couldn't remember. "He seemed really hot."

"He didn't say anything." Mr. Lahote said politely. "I didn't even know you too still saw each other."

Ugh. We don't.

"We ran into each other." I said, moving closer to the phone as I considered another question. "He's busy with those new guys though, right?"

"Sam, Jared, and Embry? Yeah, they helped him out of a bit of a rough patch." Mr. Lahote smiled, good natured pride in his son showing through a bit. "Paul's actually a bit of a peacekeeper now."

"Paul?"

He sighed as he saw my frown. "They're good kids, Gen." He pointed out kindly.

"I know." I shook my head, not believing it for a second. "Just not used to the thought of Paul keeping the peace."

"It's been a long time, Genny. He's changed just as much as you have."

Me?

Change?

I turned back to the phone so he wouldn't see the skepticism in my rolling eyes.

When I reached I phone I discovered that I had been right: I did not know Jacob's number. A glance over my shoulder showed Mr. Lahote cleaning up more of the mess that Paul had left behind so I risked it and snatched out my cell phone to find the number. I was rather distracted as I shoved the phone back into my jeans pocket and listened to the ringing: I'd now lied in an attempt to see Paul only to end up with an excuse to see Jacob and was no closer to finding out any truths of Paul's strange resistance to to the evil icy ponds.

For that matter, I was also no closer to figuring out the vampire mystery. Sure, fear had kept me away from that one... but Billy's hints about my accident... and now Paul, another LaPush friend, has some odd trait? And after talking to Mr. Lahote, I had to throw in the rest of Paul's friends, no matter how nice Sam had been. And then there was however those Cullen freaks fit into it.

"Paul? Hello?"

I didn't answer right away. I was lost in a thought, wondering if I was throwing myself back into a dangerous world I'd been avoiding for almost a year now. If I couldn't fight vampires, did I really want to find out any more of their secret world?

"Hello?" Jacob repeated.

"Hello." I said absentmindedly.

"He—Gen?" I heard him make a weird, half strangled cough noise. "What's up?"

"Um, sorry what?"

He cleared his throat and tried again, "What's up, Genevieve?"

"Oh, you know. The usual." And the usual was, it made me weirdly flustered lying to Jacob.

Luckily he couldn't read my mind. "Car trouble." He chuckled. "And you're at Paul's?"

"Yeeeeep." I said, glancing back to find that Mr. Lahote had left the room. "Car's out front. Just down the block from your place."

"I'll just finish lunch and be right there... Dad's says hi."

"Hi, Billy." I muttered back distractedly. "I'll be out staring hopelessly at my car, ok, Jacob?"

He laughed at me again. "Sure thing, Genevieve. Be right out."

I hung up the phone quickly.

I wandered back outside, yelling a thanks into the house and hoping Mr. Lahote had heard. I was too busy to worry about being polite: I had to figure out what to tell Jacob when he arrived, ready to fix a problem I hadn't even really made up yet. Truth or lie? Beg goody two shoes to join the lie or let him think I'm an idiot for seeing problems where there are none. Ugh, it was too cold to think.

I crunched back through the snow with a growing bad mood.

...

When I got to the car I returned to the front hood, staring down at the engine as though for inspiration. Blank mind, blank mind... I couldn't even really remember what had been wrong with the car before. Nothing that would allow me to pull over, right? Dang it all.

A pair of approaching feet made me glance up, but I was lucky: it was only one of the local girls jogging past. I turned around, wondering if the heat from the engine was enough to warm my back, and recognized Leah Clearwater approaching.

Leah... Why did I feel like that was...

Oh!

She dated that freak Sam!

I lifted my hand and gave a little wave, hoping it would be enough to draw her over. Looking a little annoyed, the older girl took a couple skips through the snow on the curb and jogged in place next to me, taking her headphones out to look at me quizzically.

"Broken car." I said.

"Yes, I see that." Leah said. "Gen, right?"

"Yeah."

"Friends with..." She glanced up at the house. "The Lahotes?"

An in!

"Not really." I said simply. "Not anymore, anyway." She nodded and started to move away, but I wasn't done. "Isn't he friends with Sam now? Paul, I mean."

Her eyes flashed for a second—her temper was just as bad as mine could be—but I guess she didn't know me well enough to go off. "I really have no idea."

"Yeah?" I shrugged. "That gang really does keep to themselves, don't they?" I added an unhappy sigh, feeling very sympathetic at the pain that flashed through her eyes.

"Paul dump you for no reason too?" Leah asked. She was still jogging in place beside me, her short breaths fogging the air as I watched nervously for any sign of Jacob or Paul approaching.

"Kind of." I said, not wanting to lie and not wanting to explain the random seeming truth of it. "It's weird, though, isn't it?"

She didn't have to ask what I meant. "Yeah." Her lips pressed together as she considered me and I watched her in return, fighting off the slight instinct to feel bad for her. Thinking back she'd been a happy person, over confidant but passionate and less... sharp. Then again, she'd always been a bit of a loner, so maybe I was misremembering.

"Well, Jacob's supposed to come help me out so..." I shrugged. "Just wanted to say 'hi', I guess."

Leah shrugged, slipping her headphones back on and heading back for the sidewalk. "Yeah, hi."

I sighed and leaned back against the car as she jogged off again, closing my eyes as I wondered if there was anyone more useless than the would-be detective, Genevieve Swan.

...

I was still berating myself when Jacob appeared and was therefore totally unprepared to face the giant grin he gave me when he saw my look of embarrassment. A sheepish smile popped up on my face in return and I found myself wincing as he came up next to me and started examining the car, setting his toolbox on the icy ground between us.

"Um, Jake?" I started awkwardly.

He froze. Then he turned slowly to give me a suspicious look. "Gen?"

"Uhhh...." I laughed nervously. "Wanna do me another favor?"

He blinked, not sure how to take this. Then he rolled his eyes. "Fine. Let me guess: there's yet another thing you've done to this thing that you immediately realized was the opposite of how to treat a poor innocent car."

"Um..."

"And now you want me to keep it a secret." Jacob finished, looking back into the engine with an easygoing shrug.

"Well... The car is, uh, perfectly fine... But that second part was close!" I winced again as he turned to frown at me. "What? I'm not keeping secrets; I'm trying to find them!"

"And why am I involved in you messing with Paul Lahote's secrets... And don't try to say it's not him: I'm not an idiot." Jake muttered. He was still examining my car, now simply checking it over. I think the kid had grown fond of my monster with all the operating he'd had to do on it.

"It's not just Paul's secrets." I protested, annoyed. "It's Embry's." I glanced down the street, where Leah had gone. "And Sam's."

"Yeah?" Jacob said. "But you're doing this because of Paul." He started fiddling with some of the lids, checking they were all snug in place and refusing to look at me.

I bit my lip and watched him checking different bits of the engine. What was I supposed to say? It was lie, sound crazy, or tell parts of the truth and sound like I was stalking Paul. I was starting to think that 'growing up' wasn't avoiding messes, but instead only recognizing afterward how much of an idiot you were for getting into them.

I turned away from Jacob, feeling more and more embarrassed by the second. I was also annoyed because I couldn't think of any new ideas for getting at the truth: nothing short of locking all the stupid secret holders in a room until they spilled their guts, I mean. Embarrassment and irritation began to well up and spill over and I began to look around for something to kick.

Instead I found Jacob's toolbox and noticed the stupid little Santa rubber ducky and cheap hot wheels knock offs sitting there mixed in with his tools. I frowned and leaned forward for a better look: yep, that car definitely had pink flowers and hippie peace signs on the side. They were the one's I'd given him as joke.

Huh.

I looked over, itching at my flushed cheeks and wishing I could tell if the blush had faded as I realized that I should probably be apologizing to Jacob sometime around five minutes ago.

"Ughhhh."

"Hm?" Jacob asked, distracted by some part of what I think was a piece of the engine but could also have been an alien space craft for all I knew.

"I owe you." I sighed and spun to face the car again, only to stare up at the bottom of the hood. "Like a ton."

He finally looked over at me but I couldn't meet his eyes. "Genny, you don't owe me anything."

"Name the last favor I did for you." Oh, crap, why would I admit that.

"Name the last favor I needed from you." He challenged right back, stepping back from the hood so he could loom over me at his full height without bumping his head.

"I... yeah, but I always ask—"

"Plus you threw me that party." He interrupted.

"Yeah." I agreed, beginning to wipe bits of snow from the bumper with my boots in order to keep my eyes off of my tall, confusing friend. "But. That makes you ok with lying for me about this?"

"Oh. Right." He turned back to the car, which was apparently were all the answers were hiding. "Ok, you owe me for this."

"I ask you to mess around with my car in the cold for the second time but I owe you for asking you to lie." I clarified, laughing a little as he looked a little sheepish in return. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine." I repeated. "What do I owe you?"

"Um..." He glanced around. "Well, I guess... If we're out here..."

"Whaaaaaat." I groaned, waving my gloved hands around in emphasis. Dang it was cold.

"You never let me give you any of those engine care lessons."

He grinned triumphantly down at me and I fought off a grin, throwing my hands up in the air in defeat.

"Nooooo. Jacob is going to teach me about cars... Someone save meeee."

"Shut up." Jacob laughed. "And c'mere."

"Fine."

We spent the next ten or fifteen minutes without incident, messing around with different things I was supposed to remember to check if something actually went wrong with the car. I sometimes checked that Mr. Lahote wasn't watching, pretty sure that Jake and I laughing and pointing at random parts of the engine wasn't going to actually line up well with my story. Finally, though, I was shivering horribly and Jake took pity on me.

"Ok, one last thing. And this you should remember." He said, getting a bit of a teacher voice. I glanced up at him, trying to hide that I found this adorable. "Grab that rag."

"Ew." I told him. I reached down with my shivering hands, wishing again that engines were clean enough to have allowed me to wear gloves. "Shouldn't you wash this?"

"It's a rag." Jake said. "You don't wash it, you replace it."

I looked at the ball of black and yellow and some other weird colors streaked across what had once been a white t-shirt. "Um... Shouldn't you replace this?"

"That can be the next birthday present you give me. Now. This is the oil stick. Wipe it off." He watched critically as I obeyed. "Ok, now you put it back in here, take it out again, and look at the end."

Amazingly enough I managed to obey these instructions as well. Then I was frowning up at him. "What does this mean?"

He leaned in closer, bending down to get a better look. "It means you have enough oil. Charlie must take care of it." He shrugged. "But it's good to know."

"Yeah," I agreed, studying the little lines on the stick before sliding it back into place again. "And yet, I feel like I just owe you even more than before."

Jake just grinned at me. "Sorry, Gen. I tried."

"Oh, blah blah blah. Jerk." I stepped back to let him check that everything was back in place and took the opportunity to toss the rag back into his toolbox. Absentmindedly, I reached up to scratch at a bit of hair that had flown across my face and was tickling my cheek.

Jake turned to find my wrinkling my nose and trying to wipe my left cheek with the one clean spot on my right palm. "Don't laugh at me." I ordered, starting to try the back of my hand. "I told you that rag was gross."

Jake gave me a smug look as he dug another rag from his pocket and wiped his pretty much clean hands off in seconds.

I glanced down at my pair of filthy hands, looked back up at him, and glowered. "My face itches."

Jacob rolled his eyes and raised the rag. "I got it, Gen."

Before I could think how I should react, he stepped close again and I was lifting my face to let him see the mark across cheek. His eyes crinkled but he managed not to laugh at me as he raised the rag and wiped off the worst of it. I waited patiently as he tried two more times and then, frowning, shoved the rag back into his pocket and just wiped the spot with his thumb.

"There we go." He muttered. He leaned down and rubbed the dirt from his hands against a chunk of snow I'd kicked from the car. "Just a sec, almost got it."

I found myself biting my lip again as he frowned at me, eyes narrowed at the stubborn spot on my cheek. I felt his hand, first cold and then warmer, brush against my face as he wiped the last of the dirt and itch away and then I glanced up at him, waiting to see if he agreed that I was finally spotless. Waiting for his hand to drop and his goofy grin to return.

But it didn't.

For a long moment, I felt his hand warm against my cold cheek and then, slowly, he ran his thumb across my cheekbone one last time. My gaze flashed from his warm brown eyes down to his lips and then hurriedly back to his eyes again before I took a deep, shaky breath and broke the spell.

And just like that he was putting everything away and back to his joking self.

And just like that I was teasing him and insulting my car and complaining about the cold.

And just like that, I finally knew Jacob and I would never be just friends.