After dinner, we stumble back to the hotel room, our bellies full of delicious five star cuisine and lots of wine.

"I don't tell you how perfect you are enough."

The words roll sloppily off of Sebastian's tongue as he's got me pinned in the back of the elevator. Our bodies are pressed together and desire swirls between us.

"You tell me at least weekly," I reassure him as my hands slip around to grab his perfectly sculpted ass.

His hands find my neck, cradling it as he tilts my head up towards him with his thumbs. His hair falls forward as he leans down to pull me into a passionate kiss.

"Fuck," he mumbles as the elevator doors open, "I've got to walk back to the hotel room with this erection."

Finding this hilarious, I cover my mouth as I laugh. Sebastian seems less than thrilled as he takes the first steps off of the elevator into the desolate hallway.

"Shhh!"

He shushes me loudly, sending me into another fit of  laughter.

"It's probably, like, midnight, and everyone is asleep," he reassures himself as I hold onto his arm while we walk to our room. I smack his watch so it lights up, convinced it's definitely not that late.

"It's 21:43, grandpa," I tell him with a playful nudge to his side. This sends us stumbling into the wall, and another round of not-so-quiet laughter ensues.

When we reach what I assume is our door, I pull out my wallet and thumb over all of my cards until I reach the key, but it's not unlocking.

"Is this even the right room?" Seb tries to whisper again, but it's about five decibels too loud.

"Let me try it again."

The key card still isn't letting us in. Each time I hold the card up, it flashes red.

"Jesus, I'm going to have to fuck you in the hallway," Sebastian says impatiently, sincerity pulling through in his voice.

"Oh my god!" I push him back against the wall playfully and we freeze there, suddenly lost in each other's eyes with my hands pressed against his chest.

"I love you so fucking much, Orion."

Our love story has been like a fairy tale. Even after all of these years, each day feels like we're waking up to the honeymoon phase over and over again. But a phase only lasts so long.

"I'm going to try one more time," I mumble as I wave the key inbetween us, my eyes diverting to the doorknob.

"Do you love me?" Sebastian abruptly grabs my shoulders to stop me from moving away.

"Are you serious?" I cross my arms and look up at him in disbelief, "I know we're drunk, but god damn."

Sebastian sighs dramatically as his palms press into his forehead.

"Sometimes—" he trails off, biting down on his index finger as he looks at me, "I just really need to take care of this boner first."

My shoulders slump, giving him a look that's both willing to help but also not entirely happy with the situation. How could you be after a question like that? But the alcohol is working, and it makes the blow less painful.

This time, the key turns the light green and I push the door open.

"Yes!" Seb cheers with his fists in the air as he stumbles inside behind me.

As soon as the door closes, Sebastian starts pulling his shirt off, revealing his masterpiece of a torso.

"Wow," I breathe, watching the show, "that never gets old."

He smirks, knowing how much I enjoy it. I hate that it makes me forget about what he just asked out in the hallway.

"And it's yours, forever, mi amor."

As he gets closer, the smell of his cologne on his bare skin draws me in, and just like every other time, the pheromones make me dizzy in the best way possible.

His arms are strong as they begin undressing me, taking care to unbutton every button on my shirt before slipping it off my wrists. I don't even have to move one step.

I press my palms against his abs, pushing him back against the wall next to us, and I see the glimmer in his eyes because he knows what comes next.

Slowly, my lips touch his stomach, pressing kisses all the way down to the waistband of his boxers. When I pull them down and his erection springs free, my eyes trail back up his body with a smirk.

First, my tongue dances along his tip, because I know it drives him crazy and I like watching him squirm. My hand joins soon after, stroking him slowly.

"You're fucking incredible," he moans, even though I'm not doing anything special. When he's drunk, things move much more quickly.

I take most of him into my mouth and skillfully move my head, doing everything else I know he likes. As usual, his hand knots in my hair.

It can be so predictable, every time we're intimate, it's almost always the same. It wasn't always like this, but it seems like the longer we're together, the more repetitive it is. Maybe that's why they warn you about it at bachelorette parties.

"I'm close," he gasps, and just as his hand tightens its grip in my hair, his watch starts ringing.

"Jesus christ," he mutters, giving his wrist one short glance before leaning is head back against the wall.

I pull away for one moment, looking up at him curiously.

"Do you need to answer it?"

He shakes his head vigorously, biting down on the entirety of his bottom lip.

My lips wrap back around him, and that's all it takes for him to succumb to relase.

I slowly trail back up his body, kissing his shoulder as he tries to catch his breath. For being so physically fit, the fact I can make him breathless like this swirls something in my stomach.

"It was just work," he says between breaths, snaking his arms around my waist, "but you're way more important."

With a small smile, I brush some of his curls back and take in his flushed cheeks. This is one of the few ways I'm able to care for him, because it seems like he's always taking care of me.

"That's okay, you can take the call. I'm going to wash up anyway."

Sebastian kisses my forehead, running his hands along my arms. He raises one eyebrow suspiciously.

"Do you want me to join?"

I shake my head, "I'm so tired from today. I hope you're not disappointed."

Sebastian cups my cheeks before I'm able to get away into the bathroom.

"Baby, I'm never disappointed. I'll be waiting for you in bed."

Once the door is shut behind me, I almost immediately break down into silent sobs, the kind that comes from your stomach and makes you feel like you're going to throw up. The kind that's familiar.

Part of me wants to run back out to Sebastian, to have him comfort me, but a bigger part of me wants to sit in the shower and let this pass.

I turn on the water as my chest heaves, tears falling down my face like rain. I never knew so many could come at once.

The last time I cried like this was when the police asked me to identify my parent's bodies. The images of them flashes through my mind, sending another wave of sobs. Maybe coming here wasn't the right decision after all.

As the shower overcomes me, I'm transported back to being seventeen.

I'm in my old bedroom and Aspen is sitting next to me, not saying a single word. Her presence is enough to comfort me. She puts her hand on my knee and I can almost feel it like it's actually happening now.

"I miss you," I whimper between gritted teeth, an absolutely pathetic sight if anyone were to peer into the bathroom right now.

It's not just Aspen I miss; it's my parents. As horrible as they were, you don't realize how death will affect you until it happens, especially when it's tragic. After all of these years and the growth I've experienced outside of high school, I've realized I do miss them despite how shitty I was raised.

I use the hotel soap to scrub my hair and body, too exhausted to step out and grab the soap Sebastian packed in the toiletries bag.

When everything is rinsed down the drain, I take three deep breaths and towel dry my skin. The hotel has two plush robes hanging on the bathroom door so I grab one, slipping it on before I brush my teeth.

When I get back into the main room, Seb is on his side scrolling through his phone. His eyes perk up when he sees me.

"Did you know that German chocolate cake isn't actually from Germany?"

My head shakes, tilted in faux interest as I tie the robe around my waist. Really, I don't quite care in this moment.

"The call was from Megan. There was just a little... hiccup. But everything is fine now."

Sebastian opens the covers for me as I climb into bed, sleepiness hitting me like a cement block.

"What kind of hiccup?" I ask, throwing my arm over my forehead as my eyes involuntarily close.

"A problem with one of the data accounts. I sincerely mean it, it's fine, babe. Don't worry. Christian is fixing it as I speak."

My mind drifts as his words funnel through my brain. I have to text Aspen tomorrow.

"Mm," I respond, turning on my side away from him.

"Goodnight," he chuckles, pressing a kiss against my cheek.

The last thing I hear is him clicking the light off.