Three days later and nothing from Axel.

But to be fair, I haven't made an effort either. I've barely been able to sleep, because somehow that takes up more energy than simply existing.

Something has washed over me—the reality that I'm here alone and Sebastian is back in California. The reality that things may be over for good.

My hotel room has turned into a bit of a mess. Takeout containers scattered, clothing draped on the bed, and even more on the floor. The lone suitcase Seb packed is almost entirely used up and a laundromat visit is most definitely in the near future.

Maybe I'm getting a glimpse of how Seb is feeling back in California, or maybe I am turning into him. Stubble is beginning to itch into a beard, something I've quite frankly never done before in my life. My fingers scratch it roughly before I decide I've had enough and head into the bathroom to shave it.

As I examine the razor, my mind drifts back to Sebastian. Back to California. It's funny that it's all I've been thinking about for three days now, like a fond memory. That life feels like it was lived many moons ago, but it has only been a week.

Here I am, alone, with an engagement ring on my finger and no fiancé in sight. I'm officially drifting into post-breakup territory and it hasn't even happened yet.

I find the shaving cream in the toiletries bag, fishing it out with one hand. After I shake the can, it comes out in a smooth foam that I layer on my face. The razor meets my skin and I only get a few strokes in before I hear someone outside my door trying to get the key card to work.

The jiggling of the doorknob stops me mid-shave, my movements freezing as I try to listen. Could it be the door next to me or across from me? Maybe management is coming to evict me or housekeeping is making a forced entry.

Then, the door pushes open quietly and softly like a mouse is sneaking inside. My heart rate picks up and I think about locking myself in the bathroom, but my phone is out on the bed.

"Orion?"

Axel's voice comes out hushed and raspy, and I realize I've not opened the curtains today, so it looks like I could be fast asleep. In this moment, I wish I was.

"In here," I say anxiously, equally as quiet, and still only a quarter of the way shaved.

It takes a second for the main door to latch closed and Axel himself to appear, casually leaning his hip against the doorframe of the bathroom. Tall and slender, his arm muscles flex from inside his t-shirt as he looks at me. Both hands are deep in the pockets of his black jeans and his face has a smirk that could erupt into laughter at any given moment.

"Sorry, am I... walking in on something here?"

My face turns away from him, beet red underneath the shaving cream. "No, I mean yes, but no..."

My eyes dart back and forth between him and the wall, just waiting for him to say something or walk away. It could be a lot worse, he could have caught me with my pants down. This is nothing; but not ideal.

Axel puts a hand up as he lets out one chuckle, turning his head away. "I'll just wait on the bed. Sitting, I mean."

I nod and watch him turn to venture into the other part of the room. Now only slightly disoriented, I finish shaving and rinse everything off carefully. Next, I brush my teeth as quickly as I can while still being thorough. Too bad I can't squeeze in a shower, because I need one of those, too. Instead, I put on more deodorant and hope that helps.

I wrap my arms around myself as I come out of the bathroom. "How did you get in here?"

Axel looks up from his phone, his mouth shaped in an "O" like I'm asking him something ridiculous. Or, perhaps, one of the questions he's been grilling me with since I got here.

"The other night you gave me your spare hotel card in the restaurant. And since I rode back here with you, I remembered where you're staying."

I nod slowly, still not getting the answer I want. "But why did you show up just now? What if it wasn't even me in here anymore?"

Axel shrugs, the light from his phone illuminating his face just slightly. "I knew you were in here."

I walk over to the curtains and open them slowly, letting natural sunlight flood into the room for the first time in a few days. The mess I've been hoarding comes into full view.

"Holy shit..." Axel's eyes feverishly scan the room like it's a crime scene. "Did you throw a frat party in here?"

A heavy sigh escapes my parted lips. Clearly, something has to be going on for a room to get this bad so quickly. Nobody orders doordash twice a day and then leaves the boxes and empty drink cups all over for fun. I haven't showered or changed my clothing in over thirty-six hours.

Axel picks his feet up from the side of the bed. Just a moment ago, his sneakers were flat against one of my t-shirts that was carelessly flung onto the floor. He eyes me again, his glance deepening with concern as he waits for my answer.

"No. I'm..."

Axel interjects at my hesitation. "Depressed?"

My head sways back and forth, not quite. "No, but kind of, temporarily?"

"Temporarily depressed?" Axel repeats, his face wrung out in confusion.

"No. Axel. I just—"

At this moment, I fall face first onto the bed and start crying. The feeling came at me so quick and intense that I couldn't stop it from happening. It was a wave that was crashing before anyone could get back to shore.

"Orion," Axel sighs as he quickly twists towards me.

First, I feel his palm pressing into the center of my back. Then, it moves in wide circles, an attempt to comfort me. His face is close to mine, close enough that I can sense it even with my eyes and nose buried into the comforter that's barely hanging on the bed.

"What's wrong?" He whispers.

I don't answer him right away.

"Listen, you don't need to tell me. It's fine. Honestly, I was just checking to see if you're really still here. It's been silent for days now, and I've been busy finishing up the semester. Time freezes in the hospital and I didn't realize how much actually passed. I didn't want you to just disappear on me again."

My head turns to look at Axel, and there he is, right in front of me. His head on the pillow next to me now, hand flush against my back. Our eyes meet and I instinctively want to kiss him right here and now. He smells good—too good—and it makes my heart flutter.

The sharp angle of his jawline flexes as he swallows, and at the same time, his hand moves to lay against my neck. It's warm as he brushes his thumb against my skin. Heat rushes inside of me, like he just put in the final number to a security code and unlocked the vault.

I'm feeling it, Flora, I think.

"You—" he begins, his eyes searching mine intensely before lowering them to my lips for a brief second. "I just hope you're happy. That is all." He wipes a tear away from my cheek.

"Sebastian and I sort of broke it off. Almost a week ago," I confess, the words heavy. Immediately, my stomach turns at the fact I used his name in the presence of Axel.

"Sebastian? So he has a name, I see," Axel muses.

"He does," I mumble incoherently.

"Do you need me to beat him up, because you know I will." Axel narrows his eyes, somehow still keeping them concerned at the core.

"No. It was mutual. At some point he's going to come out here and we're going to talk. I guess either officially break up or give our relationship another chance."

Axel's eyes dart away at the last part of my sentence, but his hand remains, although now lighter than before. "You want that to happen?"

"Break up? I don't know. It's probably for the best," I say, reaching up to rub my eyes. The sunlight is so bright and I'm used to sleeping. "But if he wants to try again, I'm not sure."

Axel strokes my skin, gentle and careful like he's trying to bandage my wounds. This feels like a fever dream.

"You should go back to sleep," he says, gazing at me with that soft-as-butter look I knew would show up eventually.

"But you're here," I mumble, reaching up to my neck to place my hand over his. At the feeling, Axel twists his hand so our fingers interlock together loosely.

"I'll stay this time. Get some sleep and I'll clean up. You deserve it fucking spotless, and it's definitely not that right now. I think you've missed housekeeping by a few days."

A small smile spreads across my lips. One that feels just a lick genuine, one that I'm not clawing to get out for show.

Gently, Axel separates his hand from mine, but I immediately want more. I want his hand back in mine and I want him under the sheets with me, even if our arms are the only things touching.

He sits up onto the edge of the bed, almost exactly where Sebastian was when we made the decision to separate. There is still a pang of residual hurt thinking about it.

The t-shirt that was under Axel's sneakers is the first to be picked up and thrown into the corner of the room.

"Laundry pile," he points out, grabbing one more from nearby to toss.

I slip under the covers and wrap myself like a burrito as Axel begins throwing more clothing into the pile.

After a few seconds, he looks back at me and turns to shut the curtains again, the room quickly enveloping in cool darkness.

"Rest," he orders, grabbing the trash from the night stand in one swoop.

As his face moves out of eyeshot, I feel oddly calm with him here. Just like I did five years ago.

I could get used to this.