Everything I physically own fits into Flora's hot pink suitcase with Mickey mouse airport tags.

I wheel it from my old apartment to Flora's car, chucking it in the trunk. She watches me with her hands on her hips, dark pink aviators atop her head reflecting the fading California sun.

"Well, that was great," I sarcastically say, wiping my hands together after the trunk has latched.

"Your boyfriend's on his sixth cigarette of the day," Flora says, nodding towards Axel who is still in front of the apartment building about a block down.

"It's not that many. I just don't think he likes being here," I say, watching him pace from afar.

"Is he going to let me drive you guys back? Or insist on an uber?"

Flora crosses her arms and eyes me suspiciously. She's definitely been acting weird since she met Axel earlier and I can't quite figure out why. She was so stoked to finally see him and then it all went downhill after five seconds of eye contact.

"I'm not sure," I say with a shrug.

Flora leans back against her car and pulls her sunglasses over her eyes. "Hear anything from your siblings?"

I shake my head. "Nothing from Aspen. I'm hoping I can see Devian before I go back. Then... I'm not sure what comes next."

Flora lets out a long, drawn out yawn. She taps her mouth daintily and then rubs her eyes under the sunglasses.

"I'm sorry. It's been a long day," she continues, "as much as I hate to say it, maybe New Jersey is where you should be right now."

But my siblings, I think. My only family.

"It kind of seems like they're busy building their lives. Next is your turn," she says.

Flora can be wise. Mid twenties are usually not the time someone accumulates wisdom, but it always feels like she has it in her back pocket.

Axel comes up to us, appearing like a hologram next to me. He looks ahead at the sunset, not really saying anything.

"Are you okay?" I ask, searching his body language for some kind of answer. He just nods.

"Flora is going to take us home," I say.

She jingles her keys, throwing Axel a smile. His eyes flicker to her.

"I'm a great driver," she beams.

"An uber sounds better to me," he huffs.

"Why the attitude? Just get in," I say, somewhat demanding. "It's a five minute drive. I'm assuming you don't want shotgun."

"Yeah, I don't want shotgun," he mocks, getting in the back seat at my cue. "I want a shotgun."

I stick my head inside the car, trying to study him just a minute longer. Flora is typing something on her phone outside the driver's side so I have a few moments.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" I hiss.

"Just don't really like her," he says with a causal shrug.

He doesn't like Flora. His words, not mine. That's why he's suddenly acting like a five year old?

"I'm sorry, she's my best friend. Once you get to know her—"

"Orion, it's fine. Let's just get back to the hotel in one piece," Axel says with a soft sigh. His eyes trail to mine before he gives a sympathetic nod.

I close his door and get into my seat. Flora follows suit a few seconds later.

Her car engine hisses alive, the fifteen year old Ford sedan barely hanging on. The ride is mostly silent—I think about breaking the ice once or twice but decide it's probably best not to.

When we reach the building, Flora pulls up to the large double doors and shifts the car into park.

"Alright losers, get out," she teases as her hand shakes my shoulder.

"Eager to get rid of us, huh?" I tease back, popping my seat belt off.

Axel is already on his way out of the car when I turn to push my door open.

"He's not how I imagined. I want Seb back," Flora whispers, her sunglasses hanging on at the tip of her nose. She leans her elbow against the center console and peers at Axel through my window.

"Once you get to know him—" I repeat, but she interjects.

"Well, won't be too much of that if you're on the east coast."

Her dark eyes pierce mine. It could be the narrow way she peeks over the top of her sunglasses. For a second, it feels like a threat, but I know Flora would never project anything like that onto me. Clearly, there is something simmering between two very important people in my life.

"You just gave me advice about staying there," I whip back at her, pressing all of my fingertips into the sides of my head.

"I don't know what I want for you," she says. Her body shifts back towards the wheel, arms crossing tightly against her chest. "On one hand, I don't want to be selfish and I want you to go. But on the other, stay here with me and your sister where you're established at least."

"Thankfully its my life, not yours," I remind her. Perhaps it came out too hostile, because she gives me a look of disbelief.

"Fine. I won't give you any more advice. I'll leave you and your chain-smoking boyfriend alone. God knows he doesn't want me around from here on out."

"Flora..." I sigh. "I love you. I'll see you next time."

I push out of the car, lingering with the door open for a few moments. Her body language is unmoving, not even a hand on the wheel or gear shift.

"I'll see you next time," she states flatly. Her hand reaches down, pressing the lever to pop the trunk.

I grab the suitcase from the back and wheel it onto the sidewalk. Axel takes it from me with his non-cigarette bearing hand, all eyes on me as I walk back to the car.

"Love you and thank you," I yell again through the open door. Then, I slam it shut with more force than normal. Flora lays on the gas to get out of here as fast as possible it seems.

"Both of you have god damn sticks up your butts. What the fuck?" I say as I come back up the cement towards him.

"I don't know," he blurts. "Some people you meet and they rub you the wrong way. She's one of them."

"Look, I get it. Flora isn't for every one, but you don't even know her. She has a heart of gold. Once you get on her good side, you're stuck there."

Axel inhales and nods as the smoke dances around his face, fogging my view of him.

"We have one more day tomorrow. Hopefully I can see Devian and Aspen, and then the rest of the day we can explore or whatever."

"Explore what, exactly?" He asks curiously, tapping the cigarette with his finger. He comes a few steps closer to me.

I watch his movements candidly, swallowing hard. "The beach? I don't know."

"Hm," he hums, eyeing me like a slab of meat. "Just wondering. Because, you know, people seeing us together."

My face heats up. That silly little paranoia I had yesterday. It's still there, but I do want to take Axel to my favorite restaurant and my favorite spot on the beach. Take him to Aspen's bakery. I want to show him a piece of my life here, but why is it suddenly difficult? It felt exciting planning it out when we were in New Jersey.

"Don't even start," I shudder. "I think I just want to go to bed."

I rub my temples, trying hard to suppress the ache that's forming. I'm probably dehydrated. Definitely hungry. Exhausted. It's only six in the evening but my body has just adjusted to nine back in New Jersey, only to be flip flopped again.

Axel is watching me from his spot, closer than he once was but still many steps back. I wonder what he sees when he looks at me. Does it always look like I'm on the verge of a breakdown to him? Like I'm some poor injured fawn he has to swoop in and take care of? Because that's how it feels sometimes.

"Let's go," I whisper, trudging up towards the automatic doors. Axel follows behind me, all the way to the elevators.

When we get inside and the doors close, he looks at me.

"Do you ever wish we could go back to our senior year in high school?"

It's pure nostalgia when I think about it.

The good kind, because I was with Axel. He let me experience love for the first time. But there's also the bad nostalgia, the kind that remembers the end of my baseball career and getting ripped away from him so soon. Both swirl together bittersweet.

"I do," I say.

"Me too," he says, then looks away.

I'm too tried to press it any further, but I'm itching to know what else he's thinking about and why he brought it up.

When the door to the room unlocks, I let him in first.
He walks past me and runs his hands through his hair, letting out a long sigh.

"I'm doordashing dinner. God, I'm starving."

He pulls his phone out and starts tapping. "Do you want anything?"

I shrug. "Get me whatever you're getting."

His left eyebrow lifts. "If you say so."

"Well, what are you getting? And from where?" I cross my arms and walk over to him, peeking over his shoulder to see what he's looking at. "Cheeseburger and fries from Lucky's? Eh."

Axel suddenly locks the phone and drops his arm. He turns and looks at me with the fatigue and defeat of someone who just walked cross-country. "Eh? This is the top rated place on here for cheeseburgers, and I want a fucking cheeseburger. You won't go out anywhere with me—" he stops and lets his body go slack.

I cross my arms. "You didn't think to ask me first? I live here. I would have told you Marley's on Surfside has the best cheeseburgers you can get within a ten mile radius."

"Sorry. I guess I was too busy thinking."

Axel turns back around and unlocks his phone again, pressing the plus button to add two orders of cheeseburgers and fries to the virtual cart. I watch him go through the check out process, the confirmation screen showing someone continuously riding a bike. 

"Thinking about what?" I lean in and whisper, close to his neck. This gets his attention, his shoulders stiffening slightly.

"If I told you," he begins, hushed and quiet to match my tone. "I'd have to kill you."

I suck in my lips and hold back a laugh. Fucking Axel.