Jennifer woke up extra early the morning of Wednesday. Today was the day she spent it with her nieces and nephew, well they were not technically her nieces and nephew but they were as good as. She had packed the necklace for Zola, Bailey and Ellis and the stuffed animals onto her bag and planned the day out. She was taking them to Alki beach, the one place Abby loved more than anything so that's why Jennifer had chose the beach to take the three kids, somewhere which she knew Abby would approve off.

"Your up early" Amelia spoke which made Jennifer practically jump out of her skin as she didn't expect the neurosurgeon to be awake just yet.

"You scared me" Jennifer said taking a deep breath as she turned around.

"Sorry" Amelia apologised

"It's fine, I wasn't expecting anyone else to be awake just yet. I thought I might get started making a picnic for the kids, I'm taking them to Alki Beach. Abby loved it their" Jennifer smiled leaning back against the counter.

"You haven't stopped since you got here. Wasn't that the whole point of you coming out to Seattle?" Amelia asked making herself a coffee, Jennifer knew she was right but at least if she busy she doesn't have time to think bad thoughts.

"I wasn't technically meant to keep busy. I'm meant to reset myself, but I've got a lot to think about and honestly I don't know if I can think it" Jennifer admitted running a hand through her hair. Jennifer had a lot on her mind right now. She just couldn't shut her mind off and had no idea how to make herself feel better, she'd been tempted to drink herself silly, she knew she was capable of drinking herself half to death, it had happened before, she had to have her stomach pumped before. She was a teen at the time.

"If you want to talk it through with someone I've got time" Amelia said

"I wouldn't know where to start" Jennifer admitted.

"What's on your mind?" Amelia asked

"Everything. If I told you something. Could you keep it between us?" Jennifer asked debating if she could talk about how badly she wanted to drink and drink until she could just pass out,.

"You know it would have to depend on how serious it is." Amelia reminded the redhead who nodded, she knew that.

"I need a drink, it's stupid but when I was a teen I drunk so much, I was in deaths door and had to have my stomach pumped. I thought maybe I could end all this, I could see my mom again, my dad. I could see Abby again and all the friends I've lost. I could easily drink myself to death and I wouldn't be in this much pain any more. I don't want to think, I don't want to feel. And I know you're thinking I'm an alcoholic but I'm not, or I don't think I am. Actually I've never thought about it before but I can't do anything but think about drinking right now, since Abby." Jennifer rambled everything she was mainly thinking about.

"Has anyone ever told you that they think you might have a drinking problem?" Amelia asked curiously. Jennnifer thought for a moment. Now she thought of it her older brother Will had mentioned it a few times.

"My older brother Will, he's a doctor in the Ed back in Chicago. He's mentioned that he thought I might have one but that's just one person. It's not like I blow all my money on booze, that I drink myself half to death every time I go out with friends wouldn't I know if I had a problem?" Jennifer asked running a hand through her own hair again.

"You just have the willpower to not drink. Maybe going to a meeting might help right now? Or tonight I could take you to one if you don't know where to go?" Amelia asked. Jennifer didn't know, she had never been to a meeting.

"I don't know Amelia. Wouldn't it be a waste of time if I don't have a drinking problem?" Jennifer asked.

"It's never a waste of time" Amelia reassured the redhead who let out a sigh, maybe Amelia was right.

"I don't know. I mean maybe going to a meeting can't harm. Right?" Jennifer asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"Then it's settled, after I get off work tonight I'm taking you to a meeting and we can get some food after. How does that sound" Amelia asked sensing that Jennifer would be anxious for going to her first ever meeting.

"Sounds good to me" Jennifer nodded.

Jennifer had just pulled up up to the parking lot close to Alki beach, Zola was sat on a booster seat in the front of the car while Bailey and Ellis were in the back.

"Can we go play on the sand?" Bailey asked catching Jennifer's attention as she put the handbrake on. Jennifer let out a small laugh as she remembered Abby always asking to play on the sand even as an adult. As soon as they had parked Abby was always out of the car running down to the sea to splash around, even when it was raining she would do that always saying 'well im getting wet in the sea so what's the problem with going in to the sea in the rain' Jennifer always laughed at Abby saying that.

"You sound so much like your auntie Abby. She loved the sand and the sea" Jennifer smiled unclipping her seatbelt.

"We can go play on the sand, but I need to put some sunscreen on you all. I don't think your mom would appreciate me letting you guys get burnt" Jennifer warned the three children.

"Okay Auntie Jen" the three children smiled. Jennifer climbed out of the car and opened went to let Zola out of the car first seeing as she was old enough to wait in the sidewalk in front of the car without Jennifer having to worry that she would run into the road, next was Bailey and finally was Ellis, she then grabbed the bag with towels from the trunk and joined Zola and Bailey on the sidewalk with Ellis on her hip.

"Come on then munchkins let's get to the beach and that sunscreen on you" Jennifer said putting the youngest Grey on the ground and taking her hand while Bailey took her other band. The four of them made their way across the sidewalk and onto the sand.

"Alright you three can play as we walk down the beach but don't go too far." Jennifer told the children who grinned happily. They started chasing each other round laughing happily until they reached a perfect spot. Jennnifer placed a towel on the sand sitting the bag on a corner of it and pulling the sunscreen out of the bag. The three children had their swimsuits on under their clothes so Jennifer helped them with their clothes and then smothered them with sunscreen so they didn't burn, she then removed her own clothes leaving her in her black bikini. She hid her phone, purse and Meredith's car keys at the bottom of her bag and stood up after placing the four of their clothes neatly on the towel beside the extra towels to dry themselves with after they are finished. Jennifer then grabbed the armbands and blew them up before putting them on Ellis who she knew would most likely stay by her side because Jennifer didn't want anything to happen, she didn't want Ellis to accidentally fall under the water even with the arm bands on.

"Come on then, last one to the sea is a rotten egg" laughed Bailey, Jennifer picked Ellis up and ran along with Zola and Bailey, the three of them running into the sea, it was cold at first  it they were happy. Ellis clung to Jennifer as Jennifer slowly crouched down in the water. Ellis giggled happily as Bailey and Zola splashed themselves.

"Don't go to far out you two" Jennifer warned the children who agreed to not go far. Jennifer watched as Bailey and Zola had fun and Ellis was now holding Jennifer's hand splashing gently with her other arm. The three year old was happy just like Bailey and Zola.

It was 12:30 when Jennifer took the kids back to the car to get the cooler which held the picnic.

"Auntie Jen, Can we have ice cream later?" Zola asked as they waked back onto the beach with the cooler to sit for their picnic.

"How can I say no to you three." Jennifer smiled laying the towel back out but now with the sun umbrella she had in Meredith's trunk. She set it up for the children to sit under shaded from the sun.

"Can you tell us a story about Auntie Abby?" Bailey asked sitting on the towel and sipping the juice box Jennifer had got out the cooler.

"Of course" Jennifer smiled as she finished unpacking the cooler.

"Your auntie. She was always there for her friends and family, she saw everyone at firehouse 51 as family. As do I. She always told stories about you all to everyone their and they really wanted to meet you and your mom. Of course they got to meet your mom the other week and they grew to love you even more. You are their family too now and you always will be" jennifer paused as a smile formed on her face.

"One day it was a bright sunny day and we were at the firefighters picnic, your aunt, she was playing some game with some of the other kids there. It had rained the night before so the ground was abit wet. So she slipped and ended up covered in mud, it was funny and she didn't let it spoil her day, that's what she was liked. She didn't care what happened and always tried to have fun." Jennifer smiled. It was a genuine smile rather than a fake one which she had been sporting quite often the last couple of weeks.

"Can we come with you to Chicago and see where auntie Abby worked?" Bailey asked, Jennifer would have loved to take the three kids to visit the firehouse, to visit Chicago but she would have to talk to Meredith about it all first.

"I'm going to have to check with your mom but I'd happily take you to Chicago to see where Abby worked, to meet everyone" Jennifer smiled. The four of them continued eating and talking, Jennifer took some pictures of the children and admired them, children were so resistant and Jennifer admired that. After the four had eaten Jennifer decided to take the children on a little walk to the ice cream shop which was close to a park where they could sit and talk. Jennifer wasn't sure what to say to them but she did know that she was the one that had to give the three children the gifts. On the way to the shop Jennifer asked three children which Ice creams they wanted.

"Good afternoon how can I help you" the young-ish woman at the ice cream shop asked.

"Could I get two double chocolate chip ice creams, a mint chocolate chip ice cream and a cookies and cream ice cream please" Jennifer ordered the four ice cream.

"That'll be £8 please" the woman answered and Jennifer paid for the ice creams. Jennifer then handed Bailey and Ellis the double chocolate chip ice creams, Zola the cookies and cream ice cream and she took the mint chocolate chip ice cream herself.

"Thank you." Jennifer smiled before she took the four children across the street.

"So. One of the reasons I brought you here today is because Abby loved this place. This beach she loved it so so much. And before everything happened she brought each of you a special gift she wanted you all to have something to remember her by if she ever did die but she didn't ever imagine dying so soon." Jennifer said crouching down in front of the three children who sat on the bench, she was still eating her ice cream as she placed her bag on the ground in front of them.

"I promised Abby I would take the three of you out for a special day, I'm sorry it's not much but I just thought Alki beach was a place which Abby loved so I thought it might be a good place to give you these gifts.

"Auntie Jen, any place would have been fine. We love you and Abby" Zola spoke smiling as she ate her ice cream.

"First Ellis. Abby chose a bunny stuffed animal with this necklace. It's a locket and inside is a picture of Abby and you when you were a baby" Jennifer spoke once she had finished her ice cream. She pulled out the stuffed animal and the necklace which was in a small box. Jennifer showed the youngest child the stuffed animal and the necklaces before helping put it on the young girl. Next was Bailey.

"Abby chose a dog stuffed animal for you and a Locket too. Inside it is a picture of Abby and you when you were a baby" Jennifer said pulling out the next gift. She clipped the necklace around the young boys neck and smiled. She could imagine Abby sitting beside her watching it all. Finally was Zola.

"And for you Zola, Abby wrote you a letter. She wrote you all one actually but I'll give Bailey and Ellis yours when you're older. Abby brought you a stuffed koala bear and a locket too of when Your mom and dad Adopted you. It's around your first birthday which she wished she had one of sooner than that but when they first took you in everything was hectic in Chicago, I blamed myself because I had got hurt at work and Abby being Abby didn't want to leave me" Jennifer paused remembering Meredith calling Abby and Jennifer to say there adopting Zola.

"Abby chose these stuffed animals and lockets her self. She said to me that she hoped they found you comfort when you miss her the most. I hope you understand that she loved you more than anything." Jennifer said as she helped Zola clip the locket around her neck.

"We understand auntie Jen." Zola said wrapping her arms around the redhead who smiled.

"I love you three so much and so did Abby. Always" Jennifer said with tears in her eyes. Today seemed to be the longest day possible but she hoped she had done Abby proud.

Arriving back at Meredith's at 5pm Jennifer got straight to preparing dinner for the kids. She decided on a simple chicken nuggets and french fries. She got herself a glass of water and as the kids ate she got to cleaning up.

"Can we watch frozen after dinner?" Ellis asked biting her French fry.

"Sure we can kiddo" the redhead smiled at the toddler, she was smiling happily. Jennifer went to the bathroom while the three kids ate. For a moment the tears started flowing even as she tried to stop them. She didn't want to cry any more but the day had been long and she just wanted to drown her sorrows but she couldn't, not while she had Zola, Bailey and Ellis in her car. She could let Meredith down. Splashing some water on her face Jennifer finally made her way back to the three children.

"Okay you three, go get ready for bed and then we can watch frozen. I'll be up to help you in a little bit Els" Jennifer told Ellis who smiled

"Okay Auntie Jen" Ellis said. It was clear that the four of them were all tired but Jennifer hand said they could watch a film so they were going to cuddle up on the sofa together. After loading up the dishwasher Jennifer went to help Ellis get ready for bed, well into her pyjamas.

"Everyone comfortable?" Jennifer asked as she wrapped her arms around Zola and Bailey while Ellis snuggled up to Jennifer on her lap. Jennifer pressed play on the DVD player and smiled. Jennifer looked to the three children. After a short while she noticed that all three children had fell asleep, Jennifer closed her eyes too and soon fell into a light sleep.

When Meredith and Amelia Arrived home after they had finished home, they were surprised to see the three children asleep ok the sofa snuggled up to a sleeping Jennifer. Meredith had to snap a photo or two to show Jennifer but it was a nice picture. She was happy that Jennifer was happy and she looked at peace with Zola, Bailey and Ellis around her.

"Do you think we should wake them? Let Jennifer move?" Amelia asked, she didn't exactly want to wake them as they all looked peaceful but Meredith knew they would be so much more comfortable in an actual bed.

"Jeni" Meredith said softly in order not to spook Jennifer, it took a few more times and Jennifer soon shot up.

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed awake. Where's the kids?" Jennifer panicked.

"They are fine. We got them to bed. How did today go?" Meredith asked as Jennifer rubbed her eyes.

"Better than I thought it would. But it was exhausting. How was work?" Jennifer asked slowly waking up so she was more aware of everything. The two women spoke about their days and Amelia told Jennifer they could go to a meeting another day as Jennifer was so tired she didn't think she'd stay awake long enough to attend a meeting and she soon did fall asleep but she did have to wake up to take herself to bed after a long day.