"For the last time, I don't do parties." I snap at my two best friends. "You know that and you know that so why in the name of all things bright and beautiful are you bugging me this beautiful morning?" I said as I point to Chase and Ryder who have been trying — and failing if I might add— to convince me to come to a party with them for the last—I don't know— thirty goddamn minutes in front of my locker.

"But it'll be fun, Lia. I promise." Chase tried again and I roll my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I love them both. They're the best friends a girl could ask for, but their idea of fun isn't the same as mine.

"If by fun you mean, I go there with you two and then you both  end up drunk and ditch me for some random bimbos. Leaving your best friend, Talia alone to deal with drunken idiots." I deadpanned as I ruffled his disheveled sandy blonde hair and he shot daggers at me with his icy blue orbs he called eyes.

"That was one time." Ryder explained, referring to the time he and Chase convinced me to go with them to a party. It did not end well— for me, that is. They both got lucky and scored lays for the night and poor me had to deal with those who had drunk their senses out. I even had to threaten one guy that I would use my Jiujutsu skills— which I don't even have by the way— on him as he ran his fingers through his close cropped jet black hair and pleaded with me through his pale green eyes.

"Not happening and I have to babysit my brothers tonight so, have fun." I mused as I pecked their cheeks which took incredible effort for me to do, seeing as they were both more than a head taller than me.

I walked off to my next class, flipping my blonde hair over my shoulder as I shot them a wink.

I wasn't lying. I was supposed to babysit my brothers but I could get out of it. I didn't want to go that party or any party for that matter. I didn't have the time to.

I had work immediately after school and I needed the money so I couldn't go.

Chase and Ryder have it easy. The only reason they go to this public school is because they were both expelled from their   previous schools— which were overly expensive private schools by the way — for bad conduct and with their track record of trouble, no other school in the district would take them. Hence, they go to a public school that offers free education.

Any sane person who sees us would ask themselves the question, what in the World are those two handsome devils doing with that, but we really didn't care. Our friendship is one for the story books. To be fair though, they had a point. I never imagined that two of the most desired guys in Brookwell Senior High would be my best friends.

Chase and Ryder are what you call every girls dream. They got the bods and the sweet tongue for the job of wooing any girl they ever set eyes on. Except me, of course.

There was no denying the fact that that they were attractive but I just couldn't see them in that way. They were practically like brothers at this point. They looked out for me when I needed it and they're fun but there is a down side to hanging out with them.

Take now for example, Sitting in my Geography class. This girl sitting beside me had been 'psst'—ing me  the whole class asking if I could hook her up with one of the boys.

"They're so cute. I would never forget the favour if you do this for me." She said. In lack of what to even utter as a reply,  I just put on my best 'you're a creep' smile and continued taking notes in my class.

You may not want to pass but some of us actually need a bright future so we can take care of the people we love...

That has been my motto everyday for the past eight years. At seventeen, I already had the mind of a forty year old. I've had to keep aside all the things that I would have loved to do as a teenager. All the mistakes I would love to have made, but I keep telling myself it's for a  greater cause.

Things weren't always like this though. There was a time when my brothers and I went to the best schools but now, my mother is struggling to keep a roof over our heads and food on the goddamn table.

She works two jobs everyday and I have to keep on praying that she doesn't break down because of all the stress. From what I can tell you, she never used to stress before.

My mother was a house wife while my father took care of everything. It was all fine and good till he decided to abandon all of us. He turned his back on his wife and children that he claimed he loved.

Frankly, I felt it was a long time coming. We never really wanted to accept it but it was inevitable. The sparks faded, the love got lost and the child watched it all unfold before her very eyes.

'The child' because my brothers were completely unaware of what happened. For what it's worth, I feel it's better that way. I wouldn't want my brothers to go through what I had to go through. Watching our home fall apart.

It was not a pretty sight but if all the nights I spent in crying in solitude have taught me something, it's this.  You can't just sit down and cry over something that happened that you couldn't change.

You have to move forward, be grateful you're alive to see the next day and every other day after that. Not many people were so fortunate. Some couldn't take what life dealt them and decided to end it all in cowardice. Some tried to fight but gave up along the way. Others are still fighting in hope for a better tomorrow. A great number have fought their fight with all their courage and made it to where they were supposed to be. Some still keep on fighting to attend greater heights.

What are category are you in?...

Ask yourself that question and see that you have so much to live for. So much that you could do. So why waste life?

The class was finally over and soon the entire school day flew by just like that as well. I had to get to work.

I worked at a music club. According to some people, I have a talent in music which I still don't see but it got me a decent paying job so who am I to complain?

I closed around eight so it would be easy for me to go home straight after.  Sauntering into the club, I greeted the owner.

"Hey, Jacob."

"Hello, Lia." he replied with smile. Jacob had always been a nice man. He was just twenty six, black hair, impressive height and physique. Those ever calculating hazel eyes and a strong jawline dusted with stubble.

I had work three days in a week, the busiest day, Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

"Get ready so long. Shows about to start." he instructed.

For me music was a way for me to let out my pent up anger and frustration in form of guitar playing and singing.

Very soon, it was dark and people started rolling in. The lights in the club dimmed and I made my way to the stage.

I placed myself gently on the stool, my fingers playing on the keys of the piano that was placed at the center of the stage.

•Play the song •

All along it was a fever.
A cold sweat hot headed believer.
I threw my hands in the air and said show me something.
He said if you dare come a little closer...

The crowd cheered as they watched me and I couldn't help but smile as I continued on. It was a sad smile. Sad because it reminded me of everything that once was and truthfully, may never be again. The song came from my heart. I closed my eyes and let the music guide me. I played my heart out everyday at work. That was— is my means of self expression.

I want you to stay.... Why didn't you stay, Dad?  You should have stayed. For mom. For us. You said you loved us, so why did you leave? Why didn't you stay? We could have been how we were all those years ago.  Why did you abandon us?  We could have stayed together... Why did you make promises you couldn't keep? Why? Why? Why? Why did you stay with us only to leave us at the end of the day?...

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I continued. All the longing I had contained for years finally making its way out in front of me.

I want you to stay...
Ooh, the reason I hold on.
Ooh, cuz I need this hole gone.

The emotion over took me and I  sang with everything that was in me as if maybe he was hearing my voice by any chance. He would come back. His baby girl wants him to stay.

It's funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving...
Cuz when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving...
Not really sure how I feel about it.
Something in the way you mooooooove.
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to staaaaaaaaaaayy...
Staaaaaaaay.
I want you to stay.
Ooh.

By the time I was done, they were all cheering. Not that I could see them. My eyes were burning. I smiled and gave a final bow before heading backstage.

Jacob gave me a thumbs up as I approached him.

"That was great, kiddo." he acknowledged and I smiled.

He knows everything about what happened. That was sort of the reason he gave me the job in the first place.

"If you're still up for some cash, one of the waitresses called in sick today. You wanna take her place? You'll get paid for overtime. You can still leave at eight. " he explained and I instantly agreed.

After a successful day at work and two hundred dollars in my bag, I headed home.
As I entered our apartment, I rushed in to check on Dylan and Caleb.

They were already asleep so I headed on to bed as well, knowing my mom would be home much later.

Why didn't you stay?...  Why?

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