"I make 50 cents for showing up 

and the other 50 cents is based on my performance." 

- Steve Jobs

Author's note: 

Mokka means stupid or blunt. 

Mokka jokes mean jokes that are so not funny that it's funny :P

Chapter 36: Mokka Jokes

   Riya kept chattering throughout the car ride. Madhan couldn't help but laugh at her excitement. He felt guilty for not taking her out more often. But who could blame him? Riya's mood swings were as unpredictable as the weather.

   "So you think you're smart? Huh huh huh?"

   Was this a trick question? He decided to go with yes.

   "Yeah, I do."

   "My dad has five daughters. Nana, Nini, Nono and Nunu. Who's the fifth?"

   Madhan pretended to ponder. This was such an overrated one. "Riya?" He asked it like a question.

   "Yeah. I decided let you go easy. What is as light as a feather, but even the world's strongest man couldn't hold it for more than a minute?"

   This one required a little more thinking. He made a mental list of all the light things he could think of. Pins, needles, feather. But all of these could be held. He tried to think of another approach. Hold. What are the different things you can hold, he asked himself. Materialistic stuff. What if that thing isn't materialistic. How would you hold it? Something like water. But liquid can be put into something solid that could be held. Gas! Ahhh, yes.

   "Air," he said, triumphantly.

   "Okay. Smarty pants," Riya said, glumly, looking out the window, fingering the window lock.

   Maybe he should have acted stupid, he thought.

   "Come on, cheer up," Madhan said, shoving her with his shoulder.

   "Gotcha," Riya grinned. "I was thinking of something else. I'm switching over to jokes. Knock Knock."

   Madhan became straight-faced. He was getting extremely worried now. What if Riya didn't like his surprise?

   "Knock knock," Riya said, impatiently this time.

   "Coming coming! Who's there?"

   "A broken pencil."

   "A broken pencil who?"

   "Never mind, it's pointless, " Riya snickered.

   Madhan bit back a laugh. "That was good." It actually wasn't.

   "Knock knock again."

   "Who's there?"

   "Europe."

   "Europe who?"

   "No, you are a poo," Riya squealed, clapping her hands once.

   Madhan looked at her. "That did not make sense."

   "Yes, it does. If you say it so quickly, you'll get it."

   Madhan said it in his mind, and then he agreed. "Eu for you, are for ro and a poo for ope. Seriously where did you find these?"

   "Another one. Knock knock!"

  "Okay shut up." Madhan internally cringed. Was he going to have to hear these jokes the entire ride?

  "Knock knock!"

   "Shut up."

   And Riya kept chattering even when they entered their destination, and they were parked.

   "We are here," Madhan said, trying to gauge her expression.

   Riya was absolutely stumped. They were at a concert hall. And performing at that hall was her all time favorite Bharathanatyam dancer.

   Chithra Visweswaran. A woman of such elegance and poise. Her eyes speak volumes, and movements show the world.

   "I don't know what to say," Riya gushed.

   Madhan chortled. "It's okay, let's go."

   He led the way to the entrance and showed the guard his two tickets. He opened the door for her like a gentleman, and said, "After you, my lady."

   Riya curtsied, and walked ahead. She was in awe of the hall. It had been ages since she went to any sort of recital. Madhan guided her to their seats, and they settled down.

   Madhan was capturing this moment mentally. Riya's face was glowing, and she exuberated a childlike innocence and excitement. She was silently observing the happenings around her, and soon the lights dimmed, and the curtains opened.

   Chithra Visweswaran danced her way into the stage. Riya watched her completely enchanted. Her eyes followed her hands, and somewhere in between, Riya started moving her hands and head along with her.

   Unfortunately for Madhan, the Carnatic music put him to sleep. His mother used to always play the music to put him to sleep, and ever since, it became a habit.

   Nearing the ending of the recital, there was a moment where the entire hall was pin drop silent.

   Except for some constant snoring.

   Madhan's snores.

   Riya was irritated. "Madhan, tell that someone to stop snoring," she said looking beside her. But to her dismay she found him half slunk from his seat, with his eyes closed. Another snore came out of his mouth. Riya was so embarrassed when she found her neighbors looking at Madhan with distaste.

   "Wake up," she hissed, shaking Madhan.

   "Ma, don't stop the music," he said, rather loudly.

   Fortunately, the music started playing again, so his dialogue was not heard by his neighbors. But it was most definitely heard by an infuriated Riya, who pinched his arm hard to wake him up.

   "What the heck?" Madhan sprang in his seat, rubbing his arm. For a moment, he had absolutely no idea where he was.

   When he looked at Riya, it finally dawned on him.

   Riya ignored him for the rest of the recital. She ignored him when they got up to leave the hall. And she ignored him till she reached the car. But that was only because she wanted to yell at him with a string of profanity.

   While she chattered happily when they reached the hall, she chattered angrily the whole journey back.

   Poor Madhan. He messed up again. When will he ever learn?

   Riya continued to give Madhan a silent treatment while preparing dinner. They had reached home by seven, and Madhan left for his workout fifteen minutes after that. She wasn't mad. Annoyed yes, but most definitely not mad. In fact, she was absolutely touched by his kind gesture. It was the best surprise she had in a while. It might have been cruel on her part, but it was just to test how far he would go to make up for it.

   Riya finished cooking a couple of minutes after Madhan left, and decided to clean the house while waiting for him. Her room was always a nightmare to clean. One fine day, she would spend hours to clean everything, organizing everything, and in two days, everything will be messed up.

   She decided to start with Madhan's room first because it was the cleanest. She inspected the room and found everything to be spick and span. She stepped into his bathroom and was surprised to find all sorts of face washes and lotion.

   Riya picked one of them. It was the Himalayan Brand and was meant for removing pimples.

   Aah, she thought. He wanted to get rid of them. She eyed the lotions suspiciously. Riya inherited her flawless skin from her mother, but her mother worked for it. She used to apply a homemade turmeric paste every day for twenty-one days, and it worked wonders, she had said.

   Forgetting about her cleaning spree momentarily, she set out to make that same paste for him. Digging her suitcase for a packet of turmeric powder, she went to the kitchen to mix it with the rest of the ingredients.

 Madhan was thinking of ways to apologize to his wife. He was running on the treadmill, enjoying the pain in his thighs as he increased the speed. A man came into the gym and joined him on the treadmill beside him.

   He decided to ask him, after contemplating on whether to or not.

  "Hey, how do you make up to a girl?"

   The man looked on both sides to see if Madhan was addressing him. "Me?" he asked, giving him a questioning look.

   Madhan nodded as he kept running.

   "Girl trouble, eh?" the man smirked. He had his fair share of girlfriends. "You can never go wrong with chocolate."

   "Thanks, dude," Madhan said, finishing up the last few minutes. "I'll send you a thank you fruit basket later," he winked.

   "3D Mangoes," the man called back, chuckling. He hoped it went well.

   Madhan took a quick shower and went to the nearest confectionery store. There were all sorts of chocolates in the aisles.

   Thinking back to the twenty questions game they played on their first day, Madhan wracked his brains to remember what it was that she liked. Did she ever mention her favorite chocolate?

   Chocolate after chocolate his confusion grew. Until he found the Ferrero Rocher section. This had to be it, he thought excitedly. His whole family loved that chocolate, especially Reshma. Feeling triumphant, he bought the biggest box available and came rushing home.

   The door was slightly opened, to his surprise. He pushed the door open with his shoulder since his hands were full.

   He heard a grinding noise in the kitchen. Curious to know what Riya was doing he crept slowly into the kitchen.

   Riya was pushing the mixer's lid down while it was mixing.

   "Take your hands off. You don't need to keep pushing it down," he said.

   "Aaaaaaah." Riya was startled. She took her hands off by reflex, and the lid came flying off scattering the homemade paste all over her. She had the presence of mind to switch the mixer off before it messed up the entire kitchen and Madhan.

   Oh crap, Madhan groaned.

   Just when he thought he found the perfect way to make it up to her, he screwed up again.

   "Sorry," Madhan said, weakly.

   "You are so going to pay for this," Riya said, as she pounced on him. Madhan, quick as ever with his reflex, blocked her with the wrapped gift. He used the few seconds he bought from Riya being unsteady and ran out of the kitchen, with Riya close behind his heels.

   They played Tom and Jerry for fifteen minutes, running around the house. There were a few times Riya had almost caught him but felt so awkward almost hugging him that she let go and that one second was all Madhan needed to escape again.

   Madhan collapsed on the sofa while Riya panted with her knees bent.

   "Peace offering," Madhan managed to say, handing her the wrapped gift.

   Riya eyed him suspiciously but grabbed the gift from him anyway. Her eyes lit up as she ripped the beautiful sparkly purple paper off, but Madhan's heart sunk once more as he saw Riya's smile falter.

   What did he do again?

   "This isn't Milky Way," Riya said, looking at Madhan sadly. (AN: It's a brand of chocolate)

   "No, it isn't," he said, weakly.

   "Are you blind? Haven't you seen the billion milky wrappers in my bedroom," she asked, exasperatedly.

   "No, I haven't been in your room," Madhan replied, timidly.

   "I hate Ferrero Rocher," she wailed.

   "Oh." He did it again.

   "What made you think of this?" Riya asked, hands on her hips.

   Madhan stalled. What do you call a person who works out with you? "Um. A workout buddy."

   "You aren't escaping, this time," Riya said, wickedly. "That's the third mistake you have committed."

   Riya took advantage of his momentary confusion to slap him on his arm, but Madhan was quick. He grabbed her hands at the nick of time. Riya struggled to overpower him. Putting all her energy for her last try, she twisted both her arms under. Madhan, at the same time, decided to relax his hold.

   A second later, Riya fell on top of him, pushing Madhan backward, so that he was lying on the sofa, with Riya on top of him. Talk about awkward, she thought.

   Riya tried to get up but was too late to realize that she was still holding his hand. She crumpled again, falling on his stomach.

   It wasn't cushiony.

   Riya used her forehead to test it again. There was hardly any fat.

   "Uh, Riya, what are you doing," Madhan asked, looking weirdly at her.

   Riya reddened. She couldn't believe she had just done that.

  "Sorry," she muttered, as she mustered all her strength to get up again.

   Madhan sat up straight once Riya got off of him. The two looked at each other and then burst out laughing. They had turmeric paste all over themselves, even Madhan, thanks to Riya's fall. They went to their respective rooms to freshen up.

   When Riya came out, Madhan was already setting up the table.

   She didn't glimpse at the mirror before coming out, which was why Madhan probably told her she still had some paste on her chin.

   Riya kept rubbing the wrong the side of the chin. Madhan kept showing her, but after five tries, she still didn't get it.

   Madhan hesitatingly walked to her and raised his right hand slowly, asking her for permission.

   Riya just stared in his eyes.

   Madhan brought it to her left chin and wiped it off. He didn't bring his hand down.

   Riya had no idea how long they would have kept staring at each other if the phone hadn't rung.

   Riya looked away, startled. That was intense, she thought. But she didn't mind it. She really didn't mind it.

   Madhan came back from his room after attending the call. He took a seat and started a casual conversation, setting the environment around them back to normal.

   Dinner was light and fun, and the two went back to their room with a deep satisfaction.

   Sometime in the middle of the night, Riya dreamed of a shirtless Madhan.

   And true to his word, Madhan sent his workout buddy a basket full of mangoes the next morning. 

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! 

Rosh_7love, you were close ;) This chapter is dedicated to you :D 

Please comment and vote <3 

On a side note, what do you guys think about the chapter's length? Short? Long? Fine?