SPOILERS INCLUDED!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok, just saying. As you know it's almost impossible to stay alive on Game of Thrones, where the dead characters are more than the alive, and the world of Westeros is one fraught with danger, and not only just because Winter is apparently coming. At some point. It's like George R. R. Martin has his own death note or something. But as I have said, at least you can try.

Advices

• Don't be a Stark. JUST DON'T

• Don't be a bastard. They are consumable like potatoes at a Fast Food Restaurant, or jeans at a woman's wardrobe.

• And, for the love of seven Gods, DON'T BE A STARK'S BASTARD. Believe me, I know what I am talking about.

• Never trust a Frey. They are evil like hell and they always get revenge. And never hire them as your wedding organisers...

• Also, beware the Lannisters. They really always pay their debts.

• Stay away from doors.

• Kill your own son before he kills you.

• Something more important about sons: Live them have as many whores as they want.

• HONORABLE MENTION: Stay Away from Boltons. They can be really creative.

• It looks like there's a problem with the lgbt+ communities. You can't haven't take into consideration that almost everyone is dead (Renly Baratheon, Oberyn Martell...). *oups* *sorry*

• Be humble when it comes to staff like Dothraki or Dragons. Unless you want someone to melt gold and burn your face off.

• Or have your own dragons and Dothraki Army like Daenerys and be cool.

• Worship special Gods like R' Hllor, the Lord of Light, or the Many-Faced God. The Old Gods of the Forest and the seven are too mainstream.

• Sharpen your wit, not your sword. You must be cunning and resourceful. Varys, Littlefinger, Tyrion. It's not just luck that they are still alive and shining.

• You'll enjoy that. Read as many books as you can. As Tyrion said once "A mind needs books like a sword needs a wet stone". And you can't haven't realise that Samwell Tarly, the fat guy, has been staying alive since the first season. He has also killed a White Walker and fucked the hottest wildling. Think about it. Books will save your life.

• You can't just be calm by thinking that Melisandre will resurrect you like she did with Jon Snow. Cause it's not gonna happen. 

• Last but not least: As Sersei quoted once, "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground". So, be careful. You can fight for the Iron Throne, but you can also hide in the Castle Black or Eyrie.

Fothermore, even if you're  the most kind and pure person on Westeros, sooner or later you'll end up dying. Even Shireen Baratheon did it. Valar Morghulis.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter.

Please let me know if you like the idea. You can suggest me which Universe you want me to white about next.

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