If Honey wasn't so sweet, I would have abandoned my promise to the Host Club long ago.

They were demanding and infuriating, and the girls that fawned over them were infinitely worse in my eyes. They never formed their own opinions unless asked by one of the hosts, never disagreed with something they said. They were dolls, essentially. What made it odd was that the hosts were meant to cater to their whims, not the other way around.

I mused vaguely about my latest day with the club while I walked home. Not many days had passed since I joined as their "private chef". Really, all I did was bake. Hardly worthy of the title of chef. No need to flex my culinary skills in the least. But I suppose I should have been grateful for its simplicity. The club itself was hard enough to deal with.

At one point today, I had rushed to the bathroom and heaved my lunch into the toilet. That taught me not to watch Hikaru and Kaoru's "brotherly" display for too long. Although, that could have just upset my stomach enough that the slightly smelly tuna I'd had for lunch turned dramatically.

I was bad with remembering dates on which I purchased perishable items.

I also got sick a lot.

Go figure.

"Incest isn't attractive," I muttered to myself. "I don't even remotely get why they worship those two. Now, Honey I get. He's cute, and, while I'm sterotyping, girls like cute things. Tamaki is handsome, there's no debating that. And he says the things girls read about in romance novels and shojo manga. So that hooks them right there. Kyouya.... is a little farfetched in terms of likability. He's outwardly cold and calculating, but I suppose he tones that down when he has customers. Haruhi fits his name really well: He's a natural when it comes to conversation, always making you feel liked and complimented. And that would leave Mori. Mori.... well, he doesn't talk much. But he's no less attractive than the other members, and I guess the "Strong and Silent" type has its advantages over the "Weak and Chatty" type..."

Weak and chatty... now why did that remind me of Tamaki so much?

Speaking of, that boy had already decided I was to be his second daughter. I didn't want to find out what he'd done with the first. But in any case it wasn't wholly a bad thing. It meant I didn't have to worry about him coming on to me.

I sighed slightly as I reached up my free hand to brush my bangs off my face. The other hand held open a small book that I read while I walked. Quite a feat, really, when you consider I was simultaneously dodging foot traffic. And to be frank, I'd yet to bumb into a single person and/or object.

My walk home wasn't particularly long but I found it enjoyable. I was free from the stress of school (and the Host Club) until I collapsed onto my couch and debated whether or not to put my homework off until after dinner.

My hand unconsciously lowered as my gaze drifted to the sky, thoughts of what I would prepare that night for dinner suddenly piling up.

When my parents had sent me off to Japan, and told me I'd be living alone, I insisted they refrain from hiring butlers and maids and personal chefs, ect., ect. I also convinced them to let me choose my own home. They weren't exactly happy when I decided on a nondescript apartment that was neither luxurious nor spacious. But I loved it all the same.

Of course, I would have loved it more if I'd been able to make it home that day.

As I was walking, I failed to notice the painfully obvious black stretch limo that pulled up beside me. Nor did I see when the window rolled down and a head of perfectly styled blonde hair poked out to greet me.

And obviously I was caught off guard when the door was flung open and I was hauled inside by a familiar giant.

"I have a whistle!" I cried, moments before realizing who had kidnapped me.

Honey giggled in the seat across from me, hugging Uso-chan (his rabbit) to his chest. "Hiiii, Mi-chan!" he greeted cutely.

"Hey Honey," I sighed, dropping my head into my hands as I reclined against the buttery leather I now found myself on. I had to admit, it was soft as hell. "Did you need me for something? Oh, and hey Mori. Thanks for being gentle."

Mori sat beside Honey (no surprise, really), but was decidely less giddy. Though I noticed he acknowledged my hello with a nod and a smile, which I was now aware was rare for him except when talking with Honey.

It made me feel a little special, to be honest.

Honey, in answer to my previous question, giggled, "Tama-chan asked us to kidnap you!"

"What?" I deadpanned.

"We're taking you for a trip!"

"Honey, do you realize how much you sound like the mob right now....?"

"The what?"

My palm met my forehead, the slap barely audible over Honey's confused-yet-adorable giggles. He didn't understand what the "mob" was? How odd. Possibly, he was sheltered. Possibly, he knew and was only portraying ignorance for the desired "cute" effect. Possibly, he really was as naive as the ten-year-old boy I originally thought him to be.

"Mori, do you know what I'm talking about?" I asked, my voice slightly strained. If Mori knew, my inference that this facade was all in the interest of remaining cute in my eyes would be confirmed. And sure enough, the mostly-silent third-year nodded.

I sighed quietly and relaxed back into my seat, accepting my reality. Honey and Mori were taking me somewhere, and I had little to no say in the matter. Not that I could have refused Honey when he produced such believable tears. He'd done so on several occasions when it seemed I wouldn't comply with what the Host Club wanted.

I never would have guessed Honey could be so devious.

The ride to our destination (I still hadn't been informed of where exactly we were going) was short and quiet. Mori and I were quiet, anyway. Honey talked up a storm, asking me whether I preferred tea with cake or with cake with coffee (I was surprised he even drank coffee, though he made it sound as though he much preferred tea), and made me promise to sit with him again whenever I had the time between my "jobs".

If only I were payed....

In any case, at the end of the ride, I was once again thrown over Mori's shoulder (at Honey's insistence that I shouldn't see where we were going just yet). I went without complaint. Fatigue from school had set in, and I welcomed the opportunity to keep off my feet, no matter how short.

My eyes fell shut as Mori walked, and I was so terribly close to drifting off to sleep when I was abruptly set down. Blinking, I looked around to find myself in a small room absolutely brimming with bathing suits.

Strange.

I turned in a slow circle, somewhat watching Mori and Honey as they left the room, waving over their shoulders in goodbye. One fisted hand reached up to rub my tired eyes while my jaw fell in a slow, sleepy yawn.

"Aw! Micah looks adorable when she's tired!"

I forced my mouth shut despite my yawn not being done, eyes narrowing on instinct. "Hello, Hikaru," I greeted, just before swinging around to face said redhead. His eyes were wide in a shock he simply couldn't repress, and my own narrowed further.

Then he smoothed over the look and threw me his mischeivous smirk that always made me want to cringe. "Wrong twin!" he said brightly, giving me the peace sign. "Wanna try again?"

"Not really, since you are Hikaru. Kaoru has a higher voice than you do."

Incidentally, it took a week of careful study to even come up with that finite difference, so maybe I shouldn't sound like it's so obvious...

"Heh."

I tilted my head just a bit, unsure how to continue that sort of conversation. After a moment, I just shrugged and gestured to the racks of suits all around me. "I'd like you to tell why the hell I'm in a room with these."

His smirk returned. "You need to change into one, of course!"

"Really? I need to?"

"Unless you want to swim in your school uniform."

"Get out, Hitachiin."

"Do I need to?" he asked cheekily, mimicking my tone from earlier. I scowled at him, teeth half-bared, and he shrugged and spun around. He left without another word.

I made sure the door was firmly closed before going back to the clothing racks.

Damn, I thought, on the verge of letting exaggerated misery crowd in, they never stop surprising me.

With a soft sigh I snatched the plainest suit I could find and quickly changed. It was nothing spectacular (surely not up to the Hitachiins' fashion-mogul-for-a-mom standards) but it would do. It was purely black, a color that matched my short hair surprisingly well, with a small black bow at the base of the neckline, which was somewhat shallow.

I found a bin in which to keep my uniform and shoes and then steeled myself for my next encounter with the Host Club.

The air was warm and moist when I left the room, and I was bombarded with the most unexpected scenery. It looked as though I'd travelled to a tropical paradise by only stepping from the storage room. It was bright as afternoon sunshine, the air thick with soft, tantalizing scents of water and plants that you just don't find in Japan (or America for that matter).

It was beautiful, I was awestruck, and every Host Club member was staring at me. Except Haruhi, who stood off to the side, staring in wonder at the towering tropical trees. Incidentally, he was also the only one not sporting a bathing suit. Instead, he wore a light-yellow hoodie and plaid shorts.

I waved as causally as I could manage. "Hi....?"

Tamaki was the first to break the silence. He did that by squealing like a little girl and diving at me in a hug. "Daddy's girl looks so cute!" he exclaimed.

And that was all the twins needed to also tackle me. They pushed Tamaki away and rubbed their cheeks against mine, making my face flame dramatically.

"SO CUTE!" everyone (minus Kyouya, Haruhi and Mori) said.

Then, of course, Tamaki got over himself and paraded over to the twins, shaking a fatherly fist. "Shady twins! I've told you to keep away from my little girl! I won't let you corrupt her! She's too young!"

"Young for what?" Kaoru and Hikaru chorused.

Tamaki blanched, then turned a very violent shade of red, and I took the opportunity to slip away as the twins laughed at his discomfort. I padded over to Haruhi (since he seemed somewhat normal and hadn't participated in my kidnapping) and crossed my arms over my chest.

"How come you aren't wearing a swim suit?" I asked curiously. He looked down at himself, then shrugged.

"I don't find this place that interesting, and I don't feel like swimming. I think this place is too much anyway; to play in a vinyl pool is just fine."

"I know what you mean," I said, even though I was still enchanted by this place I'd been brought to. "Swimming is swimming. It doesn't really matter where you are. I used to have a really big vinyl pool that a lot of my friends used."

"Vinyl pool? What's that?"

I jumped when I heard Tamaki's voice just behind me. He and the twins had stopped their squabbling and were now gathered around Haruhi and I. While I calmed down my heart rate, Haruhi explained to them what exactly a vinyl pool was.

"That's an airboat, stupid. Where would you find such a small pool? You would rather float that thing on water than pour water inside."

"It's a pool, Hikaru," I shot back testily.

"It's a boat," he replied.

"No, she's right. It's a pool. Smalls kids often..."

"A boat, Haruhi."

"If Haruhi and Micah believe it's a pool, then it's a pool!!" Tamaki roared as he grabbed both twins in a head lock. "How embarrassing was this for them? It's knoweldge taken from life!"

"But it's still a boat."

"Listening to all this," Haruhi commented, "makes me feel really uncomfortable...."

I started to say something to agree with him, when I was suddently ambushed by Honey. He took hold of my arm and dragged me down until i was eye-level with his short frame. "Mi-chan!" he sang. "There's a pool, let's play~"

I took notice of the bunny-themed inner tube that sat around his hips and raised a brow. "Can't you swim Honey?" I asked.

"Huh?" he said, tilting his little blonde head to the side. "But that way it's a lot cuter!"

Honey Logic: I will never understand it.

But nonetheless, I agreed to swim with Honey, if only for a little while. He cannonballed into the water; I chose to slip in as silently as I could. We started off with a race, from one side of the pool to the other. That devolved into a splash contest, to see who could create a bigger wave when jumping in. And then we were simply throwing water at one another.

I even got Honey to tell me about this gorgeous tropical paradise that apparently resided in Japan.

"Of course Kyouya's family owns it," I muttered crossly. "And we're test subjects are we? No wonder I was invited here. He probably has something dangerous he wants me to test that he's too chicken to do himself. I swear, he won't do anything unless there's a fat stack of cash at the end of-- Gah!"

That lovely rant was interrupted by Honey taking hold of my ankles and dragging me under the water. He smiled at me beneath the artificial waves and waved at me cutely. I could see his inner tube floating above us, dancing over the water's surface.

A slow grin filled my face, pushing away the scowl I'd held while talking about Kyouya. Maybe Honey really was listening, but didn't like seeing me upset. That would make this (dragging me underwater against my will) into a very sweet gesture.

I stuck out my tongue at Honey (and somehow managed to keep from swallowing gag-worthy water), causing him to giggle, letting loose his air. With wide eyes, he swam quickly back to the surface, and I followed soon after.

Just as my head broke back into the air, I saw Mori step into the water. Honey immediately swam back into his tube before hopping onto Mori's back as he swam free-style against the current.

He went absolutely nowhere, and Honey made sure to comment on that. He (along with most of the hosts) seemed very surprised Mori stayed still in the water.

"How did you all pass the second grade?" I wondered aloud, raising an extremely skeptical brow at the gaping boys.

In the end, I just laughed at Honey's amazed expression and went along with it. There was no point in fighting the ridiculousness of the Host Club. It was a losing battle.

But I was starting to rethink my "go with the flow" plan when Kaoru suddenly plucked me from the water, brought his face very close to mine and said very seriously, "Micah let's get married right now, and let's go on a honeymoon."

"....Do you want me to go back to calling you all perverts?"

I didn't get an answer, because Tamaki interrupted, water guns ablaze as he chased Kaoru and Hikaru straight away from me and Haruhi. I turned to Haruhi, who was calmly sipping some delicious-looking juice from a fancy little cup, complete with a beautiful flower decorating one side.

"Should I ask?"

"You're better off in the dark," he replied.

"Right...." I sweat dropped. "Well, I think I'll head back into the water. I still have to beat Honey in a race. For such short legs, he swims like a damn fish!"

Haruhi cracked a smile, which relaxed back into his naturally passive look as he caught sight of something behind me. "Oh, Mori-sempai," he said. "You're taking a rest?"

I spun around to say hello, and flushed an alarming crimson. Why is that when boys exit pools (or oceans, for that matter) they look devastatingly good-looking? Goddamn these teenage hormones! I thought bitterly, rubbing at my cheeks to hopefully rid them of their coloring.

After muttering a few quick words (insults) to myself, I managed a sloppy smile up at Mori. "If you're taking a rest, do you maybe want me to watch Honey? I know he's a third-year and all, but still, you don't want him wandering off...." I paused, then shook my head. "Ok, scratch that. He can't go anywhere." To prove my point, I gestured to where Honey was currently floating in place. His little legs were kicking madly below the surface, and the current kept him from moving any further upstream.

"Don't you think he should just come out?" Haruhi suggested while offering his drink to Mori. "He's been in there for a long time."

"Eh, I'm glad he doesn't care about looking like a prune. Guys like that are just.... babies." Haruhi nodded his agreement. "Well anyway, if he's good with staying in, at least I can give him some company. I'll just--"

"Take this! Deadly Blow Sideway Rolling Beam!!"

"What the hell?" I muttered, looking around to see where Tamaki's yelling had come from. I was just in time to see him crash into a random lever.

A rumbling sound reverberated through the building. My heart kicked up a notch.

And that was when the positively massive wave crashed down the pool and swept Honey downstream with rocket-like intensity.

"HONEY!"