An undignified yelp escaped me as Honey released his grip on my wrist, sending me crashing to the ground. My back straightened with a crack, the impact of hitting the unprotected wood flooring too much for my slouching spinal cord.

What American ever has perfectly straight posture, I ask you?

"Ow," I moaned, every bit as pathetic as I feared.

Honey, for once seeming to loom over me, frowned adorably. "Mi-chan, are you alright? We can take it slower!"

"Slower's good," I mumbled, throwing one arm across my eyes. "Let's go at glacier speed, shall we?"

Allow me to recap.

(Several days ago...)

"Haruhi, I'm really upset that I have to admit this, but Tamaki was right. For once anyway."

She turned to me, eyes still intently focused on the bento in her lap. Her hands moved with the precision of a robot as she fitted her fingers around the delicate chopsticks and brought the morsel of rice to her mouth. Swallowing, she asked, "Tamaki-sempai was right about something? What parallel universe is this?"

I couldn't help but giggle. "I mean about the incident at the beach." I fiddled with the skirt of my dress, too preoccupied with my thoughts to worry about the food I was letting go to waste. If worst did indeed come to worst, giving it to Haruhi was always an option. "He was right, if only about the fact that we're only two, admittedly, weak girls and stood absolutely no chance against those... bastards!"

"Ah." Haruhi nodded. "I see. You're right. It is a little troublesome but we're unlikely to have to worry about something like that again, aren't we?"

"Even so," I sighed, leaning back against the bench, head tilted back to allow me a view of the bleached clouds passing by above us. Haruhi and I had decided on taking lunch outside for the day, and had unsurprisingly ended up touring the gardens, where we found a rather quaint spot overlooking the pond that seemed too perfect not to enjoy for the remainder of our lunch period.

"Even so?" Haruhi returned to her bento with her usual look of disinterest, though I knew enough by now to understand this was only how she naturally appeared.

"We may never in our lives have that happen to us again. That's true. But what if it does? What would we do then? Get thrown off another cliff and have Tamaki come to our rescue?"

"...I see your point." Finished with her meal, she replaced the cover on her bento and set it beside her. She then shifted to face me, wide eyes now appearing curious. "Did you have a way to prevent something like that?"

Another sigh left me with slumping shoulders. I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, chin propped up on both fists. "Just a thought," I replied. "I was thinking.. What if I took up martial arts?"

"Like Honey-sempai and Mori-sempai?"

"Heh. I wouldn't even dream of being on their level. But sure, like them. I just want to be able to protect myself and others if the opportunity comes up." Once more I sighed. "It's silly really. Just forget I said anything. Anyway, I'll be late to class if I stay here any longer. It was nice seeing you Haruhi. I'll meet you at the Host Club later!"

I gathered up my belongings and, after offering a small wave of farewell, hurried to return indoors so I could keep my perfect attendance record intact.

While I made it on time, I very much regretted not having classes with Haruhi.

I gathered later that she, not comprehending the severity of her actions, let it slip to the twins during class that I was in search of a trainer of sorts. And as they arrive at club a good deal earlier than I did...

Well, this is what I walked in on:

Smoothing out the wrinkles of my new crimson blouse, I hurried down the corridor to reach Music Room 3. Once again I'd managed to change just after class, so that I was both comfortable and on time for club activities.

Hikaru and Kaoru, however much they moaned about my lack of adorability in my wardrobe, still preferred it to the yellow mess of a uniform I was forced into every day.

There was a vague sense of dread as I neared the room's double doors. I couldn't lace it, though I felt a few trickles of sweat on the back of my neck. It felt like something... unpleasant was going to happen...

Dismissing it as the nerves I always felt upon greeting the Hosts, I shook my head, shouldered my messenger bag, and quietly slipped into the room. I'd prepared something special for Honey during Home Ec and had left it here after class, so I could only hope he--

"Oh look," the familiar voices of the twins drawled, "our guest of honor has arrived!"

"Eh?" I looked up with a puzzled frown, only to bashfully duck my head at the sight that greeted me.

I can honestly say I hadn't been expecting this.

The Hosts were dressed in all forms of martial arts-wear. All of them. Not just Honey and Mori. Each wore his (or her) own gi, the two-piece white uniform associated with karate. Both Honey and Mori were decked out in black belts (unsurprisingly), Haruhi and Kyouya wore white, the twins both wore brown (perhaps to match their gingerness...?) and Tamaki.... It seemed he'd chosen a color not actually found in the promotions of karate.

Yes, there is a purple belt.

No, there is a not a violet-belt-that-perfectly-matches-Tamaki's-gorgeous-eyes.

The new books I'd checked out of the library slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor.

Haruhi you didn't...

"I, um, I think.... Yeah, this would be a good time for me to leave..." I fumbled for words, eyes shifting from the (for once) athletically-dressed Hosts to the dojo-looking club room they'd set up. Practice mats lines the floors; the usual Host areas had been replaced by simple benches one might find at a tournament match; odd plants were placed around the room, like ferns and such.

Haruhi and I locked eyes once; she shrugged apologetically.

Without bending to scrape together my books, I whirled around and set about pulling the door back open. No way in hell was I going to subject myself to such torture.

"Usa-chan Kick!"

"Holy shit!"

I fell back with a gasp. Having just opened the door, I was completely stunned to have Honey come flying from nowhere and slam his bare foot into it, shutting them with an audible bang. He now stood before me, cuddling Usa-chan the rabbit to his chest as though he were really ten years old. An adorable closed-eye smile lit up his face, causing sparkles and, strangely, flowers to dance around him.

"Mi-chan wants to learn martial arts, right?" he asked sweetly, tilting his head to the side.

Again, I stuttered, searching in vain for words that would ease the situation. "Er, not really... I mean, I do! But it's just... You guys are..."

Honey blinked, leaning closer so that we were nearly nose-to-nose. "Do you not like us, Mi-chan?"

Why was he so infuriatingly cute?

"Of course I do! I like all the Hosts!" I immediately exclaimed, despite the round of heat it brought to my cheeks.

"Even Kyo-chan?" Honey asked innocently.

'"Yes, Micah, how do you feel about me? Still burning up with hatred?" Kyouya appeared at my side, looking like he took great pleasure in looking down on me.

I turned away haughtily and steadfastedly refused to answer.

He chuckled softly. "As I expected." Then he did the unthinkable. He reached down, gently took hold of my arm, and pulled me to my feet. When I gave him a dumbfounded look, he replied, "It wouldn't do to have our personal pastry chef dirty, now would it? The Hosts could become sick, and we'd lose a substantial amount of funds."

My cheeks flamed as I balled my hands into fists. "Why you dirty little politician--"

"Now, now, no hitting Kyouya-sempai!" Hikaru chimed in, catching one of my fists in his hands, as his brother did the same with the other.

"Not until you're properly dressed, anyway!" Kaoru added with a cheeky smirk.

"Lucky you, the changing room is free!" And thus, I was whisked away, past a blushing Tamaki (who'd been that way since my outburst about "liking all the Hosts"), a passive Haruhi, and a slightly-smiling Mori, into a curtained-off room in the back I'd never seen before. I always arrived after the Hosts were dressed.

Snickering, the twins left me to my own devices, pulling the curtain closed behind them. At least they didn't have perverted intentions.

Should I just hide in here until the club is done for the day? Would they force me to leave if I did that? I mean, Mori could just carry me out. Really, any of them besides Haruhi could. But they wouldn't know if I was done changing or not.... Kyouya still might....

My thoughts went back and forth like this, until something suddenly struck me.

The cake!

Seeing no other option (because I was now sure they'd simply throw me back into the room if I was still dressed in my own clothes) I quickly stripped and threw on the white gi they'd hung up on the wall, then slipped on the white belt on the hook next to it. Done, I raced out of the changing room and quickly dove for the only part of the room left untouched: My "work" station.

It was nothing more than a small kitchenette Kyouya had had installed a few days into my working for the club. A narrow oven, a small counter, a sink and cupboard. My baking supplies I'd bought myself were securely stashed away, ready for me to create what Honey deemed my "masterpieces".

He was a cute kid, even if he was two years older than me.

I crouched down and let the cupboard fly open. I peered inside, eyes searching the dark for the cake case I'd left earlier in the day...

I fell back onto my butt, feeling drained. Empty, except for a small note.

It was really yummy. You should definitely make more of these. Oh, and you really should have made one for Honey-sempai. He'll be upset you didn't.

-K&H/H&K

The note was soon reduced to indiscernible bits of paper.

"Alright, I've decided." I stood up slowly, swatting the dust from my white gi, and turned my gaze to the waiting Hosts. They all froze, apart from Honey, who let out a high-pitched, "Cute!"

"Honey-sempai, Mori-sempai..." They both blinked, unaccustomed to having me address them with honorifics. "Can you teach me how to kill the Hitachiin brothers?"

...And that's how I ended up being tutored in the way of martial arts by Honey and Mori.

Today's session was being held at Mori's, as Honey had been staying the night, though it alternated between their two estates every other day or so. They both would pick me up in the morning, a good hour and a half before the start of school, and we would practice until it was time to leave. On weekends, we had agreed that I would come over to Honey's for two hours each day.

However, this was only my third day of this routine, about a week after we'd all returned from Nekozawa's. Speaking of, he adamantly apologized to me upon finding out about my little scare in his magic room. He said the tara-- the abomination was a critical component in his latest curse, but that if he'd had any idea of my fears, he would have stowed it in his own room instead.

I didn't blame Nekozawa. How could I? He had no way of knowing I had arachnophobia. None of the Hosts, not even the all-knowing King of Darkness, were aware of that, though I've since learned they all had been trying to learn both Haruhi's and my fears during the beach trip.

They were going to pay accordingly for that.

"Mi-chan, I'll go get you some water!"

Before I could protest (though I really was in need of water) Honey was gone, out the door in mere seconds. My eyes closed as a soft sigh escaped me. Honey and Mori (who at this point was getting his and Honey's things ready for school) assured me I was improving, but it felt like I was completely stagnant with my abilities. Maybe it would be better to let go of this ridiculous goal...

With another soft sigh, I climbed to my feet and stretched out my sore back. Another crack sounded through the now-quiet dojo (an extension of Mori's home, and identical to the one in Honey's), though this one sent shivers of delight up and down my spine. I was sore; there was no getting around that. That also had an impact on my decision on whether to continue this training or not. I wasn't condtioned for this sort of thing, like I might have been years ago. The only sport I'd ever played was soccer, and that had ended years ago after one-too-many broken ankles. My parents had considered it unhealthy for me to continue.

I wondered how they would feel about my new activities...

Dismissing the thought, I walked over to the door Honey had disappeared from and poked my head out into the hallway. Empty, either way. Huh, I thought, bemused, I wonder where Mori's kitchen is. Shrugging, I was about to return to the dojo when someone crashed into me from behind, knocking me to the floor.

I'm ashamed to say I yelped. Loudly.

"Ah! Micah-san! That was my fault!"

A pair of strong hands lifted me easily to my feet and spun my around so that a set of sparkling gray eyes could inspect me for injury. I couldn't stifle a giggle.

"I'm ok, Satoshi-kun," I assured him, gently batting his hands away. He visibly relaxed and let out a relieved sigh.

Satoshi: Mori's younger brother. They were nearly identicle, if you took away the fact that Satoshi was a good deal shorter than Mori, that his hair was slightly longer, bangs falling into his eyes, and that he and his brother were polar opposites. Satoshi was a year younger than myself, though he was in fact fifteen. With my birthday coming up, I would be sixteen, but that was besides the point. Satoshi was in Ouran Junior High, along with Honey's younger brother, Yasuchika, whom I'd only met once.

He was an unfriendly little fellow to be sure.

Satoshi wore a simple gray kimono, though I could tell he'd also been practicing. A shinai (a sort of katana made from bamboo stalks) was propped against his shoulder, telling me he'd just been working on his kendo. He was, after all, captain of the Kendo Club at his school.

"Were you working with Taka-bro and Mitsukuni-sempai again?" Satoshi asked eagerly. He'd agreed to lead me to the kitchen, as I was no doubt going to be hopelessly lost and had decided I didn't want to wait for Honey any longer, and we chatted as we walked.

"You could say that," I mumbled vaguely. My various spills and failures were running through my mind again, causing my cheeks to heat up with shame.

"Don't worry!" Satoshi slung an arm around my shoulders, smiling broadly. The complete opposite of Mori. "With a teacher like Taka, you'll be a star pupil in no time! No one can beat my bro in martial arts! Well, except Mitsukuni-sempai, but it would definitely be a close match!"

I giggled again; Satoshi's enthusiasm was infectious. "I'm sure you're right, Satoshi-kun."

I'd first met him when my training had begun, because he was seeking Mori's advice on how to better the Kendo Club at school. Yasuchika had been with him, but he had blatantly ignored me. I was only happy Honey hadn't been in the room at the time, considering the Haninosuka's odd tradition that states if any members of the family should meet, they immediately have to do battle. Mori had been the one to tell me, ironically enough, just moments before the duo strode in.

"Here we are!" Satoshi announced, spreading his unoccupied arm grandly. And here we were. The Morinozuka's kitchen... was surprisingly plain. My own kitchen at home might've been more spectacular. But I loved it all the same. Kitchens were... well, my home turf, you might say.

"Mi-chan! Water!" Honey shoved the dripping glass into my face without a real word of warning, and I stumbled back into Satoshi's arms. Blushing, I quickly scrambled away and took the glass from Honey so that I could drown my embarrassment in water. Of course, Honey had sweetened it with something. Straight sugar, most likely. I didn't mind, but I was slightly surprised he'd found something like that at the Morinozuka's home. They seemed strict with things like sweets, going by their rigorous physical training.

"I've got to get ready to meet Chika for school," Satoshi told me as I was rinsing out my glass, something he told me wasn't necessary (Mori had, more or less, said the same days ago). He smiled and lifted his hand in a friendly wave. "You better train hard, Micah-san, cause I definitely want to have a match with you someday!"

"I'll assume that's because your brother is one of my teachers?" I inquired with a slight smile. He frowned and shook his head. I blinked in confusion.

"No way!" he said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. The shinai now rested against the fridge. "I want to have a match because I think it would be fun, Micah-san. You know, because you're fun!"

There was no helping that insanely hot blush that spread across my cheeks at that compliment. I hadn't had someone talk to me like that (not including the Hosts, because that was simply their job)... in a long while...

Seemingly taking no notice of my flushed face, Satoshi smiled once more before leaving the room. Blinking a few times, I quickly scrubbed the heat from my cheeks. Even so, I could tell it hadn't escaped Honey's notice.

But I was saved from his inevitable questions when Mori walked in, dressed in his usual Ouran uniform and carrying both Honey's clothes and his school supplies. "It's time to get ready, Mitsukuni," he said, handing said items off to the young bubbly blonde. He accepted them with a beaming smile and took off to get changed.

I smiled, unable to help myself, and shook my head in amusement. I loved Honey and Mori's relationship. It was so cute and brotherly, and nothing like that of the Hitachiin brothers' act during the club. If Mori and Honey had ever acted like that, there would have been no way I could be friends with them. They were together entirely too often for me to handle something like that.

"Micah, you too."

I blinked. Oh, right. I was still in my gi from practice. That would be embarrassing, to show up to school in nothing but the thin white material... Oh I'd have nightmares.

"Thanks for reminding me, Mori!" I beamed, before starting past him to the find the room I'd been allowed to leave me things in. But before I made it out the door, my feet stumbled to a halt and I groaned involuntarily. "Um, Mori..." I glanced at him over my shoulder to see he was looking at me, head inclined to inform me I should go on. "I'm really horrible with directions and I... Well, I honestly don't know what room my things are in. Could you, uh..."

A small smile came across his face. "Of course."

So I ended up following my second Morinozuka for that day, through the halls of their own home. Being alone with Mori was (honestly?) a bit unsettling. It wasn't Mori; he was always a perfect gentleman and for him personally I held no fear or nervousness. It was only the fact that he was a boy. It had been quite a while since I'd last been alone with one boy. The last time... wasn't worth being called a happy memory...

It took no time at all for Mori to pinpoint the exact room he'd shown me an hour or so ago. He opened the door for me, gesturing for me to go inside. I did so a bit too gratefully and he shut the door for me.

There was my dreadful uniform, spread out over a chair to avoid wrinkles. I scowled; couldn't they have given us a less atrocious piece of clothing to call our school uniform? Had this been in black, I would have had no complaints. But alas, the Black Magic Club did not have control of the school, and my wish went unfulfilled.

Nevertheless, I slipped out of my gi and into the yellow dress, in a complete reversal from just a few days ago. I chuckled at the thought. How odd that I would find this entertaining. Perhaps my time with the Hosts was already changing me...

I groaned. That was all I needed.

Finished with the preparations, I folded my gi up neatly and slid it into my messenger bag, which I slung over my shoulder. Then I quietly pushed open the door and returned to the hallway.

Mori was waiting for me.

A bit startled, I stuttered, "Oh, Mori, were you, um, were you--"

"Keeping guard," he finished calmly, uncrossing his arms. He waved a hand, inviting me to follow. "You'd also get lost again if I'd gone."

I couldn't deny that in the least.

Trying to ignore the new flames I felt creeping into my cheeks (I really blushed entirely too much...) I followed Mori, and we soon met up with Honey, who cheered and led us outside to where his limo waited. And thus ended my third day as a Honey and Mori's seito.

Club that day was... interesting, to say the least.

The theme of this particular day was one of knights and fair princesses locked away in towers. I'd been coerced into the role of princess, as Haruhi was unable to take said position. She was posing as a boy, after all, and while I suspected the girls wouldn't have minded seeing Haruhi "cross-dress", it was deemed too much of a risk to allow her to wear the dress, much to Tamaki's disappointment.

The dress was beautiful. I'll be the first to admit it. Crimson red and smooth as the finest silk. It was perfectly tailored, making me suspect it was the Hitachiin's doing, and the cut wasn't low enough to cause me any troubles. A black lace corset had been fitted on with Haruhi's help (because I obviously wasn't going to allow any of the boys to help me with it). The train of the dress wasn't overly long, but it added a certain medieval elegance to it, something the lack of straps was in dire need of. Instead, the sleeves hungs off my upper arms and fell down to my wrists, where they widened and trailed down close to my thighs.

Because of my short hair, Kaoru had scrounged up a black wig for me to wear. I didn't argue. I would have looked strange with my bobbed hair in such a high-class dress. The wig was actually how I wished my hair looked: Jet black curls that bounced around my shoulders and back.

I'd been cursed with straight hair that absolutely refused to curl no matter what method I tried.

The boys were dressed... God even Kyouya looked dashing. Each wore a suit of shining armor, besides the twins who were dressed in other princely garb. The knights were also sporting brilliant (fake) swords that gleamed in the perfect lighting of the room. Honey, though, looked a bit cartoonish with his helmet on and his "battle-ready" pose.

I circulated around the room, offering cookies embelished with drawings of fire-breathing dragons. I'd gotten help from some students in the art club who seemed more than happy to have their work displayed for such a large amount of students. As I worked, a genuine smile gracing my lips, a few girls were nice enough to speak with me.

"Ah, Micah! That dress is so pretty!"

"It really suits you, especially with your eyes!"

Incidenitally, these were the girls who'd witness my "heroic act of courage" at the beach. Even though I'd been tossed out into the sea, they were still grateful I'd done so much to help them. I was a bit flustered with the compliments; just a week ago they'd been upset with me for "stealing" Haruhi from them. At any rate, I still offered them a soft smile in return.

"Thank you," I said. "I hope you're all recovered from that fright at the beach? Those boys were incredibly rude to have picked on you only because you're beautiful girls." I honestly wasn't lying; they were pretty girls, and I had no grudge against them, so why not offer the compliments?

The girls, who were currently seated at Kyouya's table because Haruhi's was filled to capacity, blushed slightly. The long-haired blonde girl smiled as I presented the plate of cookies to her. "We're fine now," she told me, "all thanks to you and Haruhi! Oh, by the way, my name is Reina."

"I'm Tsubasa," the other girl chimed in.

"It's a pleasure to fully make your acquaintance, and I do hope you both feel like princesses while in the company of this charming knight." I lowered into a swift, practiced curtsy, then turned to walk away, sneaking a small smirk in Kyouya's direction as I did so. He simply smirked back.

Feeling a bit chilled, I hurried over to where Tamaki had stationed himself. He was, of course, surrounded by girls. At the moment, he'd snared one by the hand, his lips pressed to her smooth skin.

"Ahh, Princess, even if the world ended this minute, I want to be the man who even sacrifices his own life to protect you..."

"Tamaki-sama!" the girl gushed, her face completely scarlet. You know, now that I was able to see it from an objective standpoint, it actually looked kind of adorable...

That was just lovely for me.

There was love for all the Hosts going around today, though Tamaki, the twins and Mori seemed to be the main events for the day. Certainly, they each pulled off the knightly look perfectly. Mori was the rugged-yet-refined knight off to rescue his precious princess, Tamaki was the lover who had come home from battle, and the twins were more of the mischievous knights who outwitted their foes with tricks instead of brawn.

But, despite how many girls here adored the boys, there's always that one bi--ahem, that one brat who believes she's better than the rest and feels the need to voice her mindless opinions to unwilling ears.

"Pfft." The snigger came from the table directly behind me, and I spun on instinct. The girl in question was slightly taller than Haruhi, with wavy light brown hair that brushed her shoulders and dark brown eyes that sparkled with her own form of intelligence. She continued her righteous little speech as she sipped her tea that I'd prepared. I was now wishing I'd poisoned it like some jealous stepmother/witch.

"Is that so? Even sacrifice my own life? Isn't that egotistical emotion? Are you under the impression that the woman left behind would be happy with just those words?"

Her friend, a girl with bobbed brown hair and obsidian eyes, picked up the conversation. "There's nothing you can do about it," she sighed, biting into one of my cookies. Honestly, why hadn't poison occured to me earlier? "Men are lower life forms who place honor above all else. Pretending to be gallant by repackaging it in those sweet words in their own ineptitude of not being able to preserve his own life."

Tamaki swooped in, hand over his heart in another "princely" gesture, but I pushed past him, dropping my silver platter on the table with a reverberating clang. The girls looked up, blinking in unison.

"I fear the only lower life forms in this fine club are the two of you young princesses." My voice was sickly sweet, dripping with a sort of venom that killed you without a fuss. A hush settled over the other girls. "Why come here in the first place if your only purpose is to mock us with your petty words? Coming simply to badmouth a group is nothing short of shameless, something these boys would never do." I resisted the urge to look at the twins, knowing that was exactly something they would do. But I was on a roll and decided not to bring it up.

"Oho," the older-looking of the two spoke up. "What a cute little girl! Have they snared you in their vile clutches, young miss? Are you unable to leave this awful place?"

My eye twitched. "I stay because this is where I want to be," I replied icily. "Assuming things is unwise, Princess. Just like with the fairy tales today's theme is so fond of, something as naive as assuming could lead to your very tragic end. No happy ending for you, I'm afraid."

The girls gasped, dramatically and simultaneously. Without realizing it, I'd been continually leaning closer and closer to these girls during my speech. Now I straightened up with a start. Had I said something that out of line?

I looked nervously around at the Hosts, but none of them seemed upset. In fact, they all had some sort of pleased expression on their faces, with varying degrees of joy.

Reassured, I turned back to the girls with a tiny smirk. "I for one believe in such things as honor." Though it comes from Roronoa Zoro... "And if a man were to sacrifice himself for me, yes, I would be sad and depressed and inevitably lonely. But I could never hate him. Even if his actions were seen as selfish, how could I despise him? He gave his life to protect me. That fact is something I would treasure for the rest of my life."

I thought it was a fairly convincing speech; the girls, however, did not.

The wavy-haired girl stood abruptly and called over her shoulder, "Rose-sama! This girl's been completely hypnotized by these awful boys!"

Rose-sama?

"Yes," a voice replied from the doorway. "I can see that I'm very late with this one. I apologize, but I could never have abandoned this cute one with me right now."

My eyes widened.

"Haruhi?" I blinked. She was standing beside what I thought was a boy in a strange school uniform, whose hand was on her shoulder. She carried the bag she'd been sent to the grocer to pick up.

"As for what that boy was saying just a bit earlier," the stranger went on, "if you're going to fight, then fight together. If you can't accomplish that, then you should end your lives together." He then bent down on one knee and captured Haruhi's hand, planting a very unecessary kiss there. "I vow that I shall never leave your side till the day my life ends."

Understandably, the reactions were loud and confused and simply disturbed. Tamaki, for instance, couldn't formulate a proper sentence and kept pointing at them with a shaking finger, saying, "What the!!?!?"

The taller girl snared me by the arm and dragged me over to where Haruhi and the stranger were standing, quite against my will. I gave Haruhi an inquisitive stare, but she simply shrugged her shoulders as an answer.

"Rose-sama, you're too much," the shorter girl gushed, in much the same way the girl had with Tamaki.

"You're incorrigible," the other, who still had me trapped, added. "Where in the world did you find this lovely person?"

"Ahh, I could say the same of this dainty creature." Before I knew what was happening, the stranger had me in their arms, pulling me against their chest. It was then, surrounded by the fawning girls and completely red in the face, that I realized something...

"Ahh, but this one!" The boy stroked Haruhi's cheek, finally earning a sort of uneasy reaction from her in the form of sweat dropping down her face. "I found her right in front of here, by pure luck. Even though she's disguised as a boy, I could tell with one glance... Look, these clear womanly eyes..."

"Really she's a diamond in the rough," the tall girl cooed. She glanced at me and added, "And even though this one's cute, she's got a terrible atittude."

"Really, now...?" I narrowed my eyes at her. "I'm the one with the terrible attitude?"

"Quite," she replied.

I was ready to unleash my three days of martial arts training on these... these.... There were no words to express what I thought of these girls just then.

At this point, Tamaki attempted to intervene, but was immediately shoved aside by the stranger, who still kept a ginger hold on Haruhi and I, much to our displeasure. "What are you touching, you barbarian!"

Tamaki seemed furious and had to be held back by the majority of the Host Club. I'd never seen him in such a state.

"He's even more of a moron than what the rumors say," the boy tsked, shooting a glare at the struggling Tamaki. "It's no wonder. Who would expect anything from more from a frivolous garbage mob with a short history?"

I was prepared to snap some vague threat at this annoying wretch but one girl slapped her hand over my mouth before I had the chance. My deathly glare did nothing to deter her.

"Who the...!! You're not from Ouran, are you...?!" Tamaki demanded.

"That's right." The stranger swiftly pulled away their disguise, revealing a female uniform exactly the same as the other girls who'd been causing us so much trouble.

Wow. She was one masculine girl. If she hadn't pulled me against her chest, I never would have noticed.

Ah, just like with Haruhi.... I was really terrible at judging genders with just a glance...

"St. Lobelia Academy second year Benio Amakusa!" the cross-dresser announced.

"Same school, second year Chizuru Maihara." This was the long-haired girl whose hand hadn't yet left my mouth.

"Same school, first year Hinako Tsuwabuki!!" And obviously, this was the last girl with the short hair.

Finally releasing Haruhi and I, the girls gathered together, arms held in various dramatic poses. "St. Lobelia Girls Academy's 'White Lily Group'. AKA: Zuka Club!"

Incidentally, I had no clue what a "Zuka Club" was, but it definitely freaked out the remaining Hosts, even Haruhi who was now standing beside Tamaki. Ah, I should probably move away while I had the chance as well...

"A girl's beauty, that is the internal beauty and power. A pure soul that doesn't lose physical desires," Chizuru said dreamily.

"'Because you're a woman.' 'You're only a woman.' I am sick and tired of men's coercive degradation os women." This was said by Hinako, and sadly, I partly agreed with it. But I smothered that part of me and stoically stood with the Hosts as the last girl, Rose-same or whatever, continued.

"We are proud," she said, "because our souls have an equal relationship made possible by being the same sex in the same environment. Even if... it is a romantic relationship..."

I raised a brow as the other two gathered around Rose-sama, completely throwing themselves at her. I had nothing against a gay relationship, but this seemed a bit obsessive to me...

This continued even after we'd all changed back into our proper uniforms and the clients had gone home.

And I completely agreed with Hikaru and Kaoru who said, while fiddling with some video game or another, "Please go away." I just wish they hadn't been so polite about it.

I sat next to Hikaru while he and his brother were still focused on their game. The girls circled us, trying to figure us out, no doubt.

"My, my, you must be at a loss for words at our sublime love?"

"Aw, how unfortunate. It seems like they don't know what to do since their specialty host techniques don't work on us."

By this point, the three of us were hardly paying them any attention. Even I had been sucked into the game in Hikaru's hands.

"What the hell are these people saying?" Hikaru muttered disinterestedly.

"Hikaru, go right," his brother instructed.

"No!" I insisted, scrabbling over Kaoru's lap to snatch the game from Hikaru. "Left, baka, left! There's a hidden power up this way." Hikaru held it out of my reach, snickering along with his brother. It took me a moment to realize how bold I'd been, and that I was still sitting in Kaoru's lap. I squeaked out an apology and immediately scooted off the couch, falling to the ground on my already injured butt.

Those practices in the mornings were really quite troublesome.

Thank God, no one else's attention was on me. The girls had already turned to the other Hosts with their cheap arguments.

"I don't know if it's because the Club President is a half-blood... Using good looks to pile on false love to mock a girl's pure heart. That right there is degradation of women. It's not enough that you must fill your greed while using a club activity as a front! To even lure in these pure female students, you guys are beyond dispicable! I swear!!" Rose-sama said, his voice firm and unyeilding. "I will immediately shut down gargage like this Host Club!"

.....I'd changed my mind.

I wasn't going to kill the Hitachiin twins.

I was going to kill this woman.