i am tired...
i am tired to stay up till 4 am trying to figure out what's happening with me right now
because i am tired of lack of sleep and energy i have to lay down
on bed every night thinking i am ugly or fat
i am tired of feeling i am black cat
among every single person i know
i keep telling myself i need to calm down
because it leads everything to nothing
however i am so tired that, you know, it's coming every night i will be staying till sunrise thinking of what's really happening with me right now

doesn't it call apathy or something, does it?
my well-being is being not well since i came home
and found out i have burnt out from the stuff i went on my own
burnt out but wearing smile as a t-shirt
"i said i'm fine forty four time but none was right"
still awake in 2 am at usual night
spending time with my family on day
but something really weights me down
surprisedly i make it someway
and don't give up since i'll lay down on the bed thinking i deserve nothing.

i am exhausted.