I listened to this song while writing this, if you care. enjoy. (No gif because there's a surprise at the end of this chapter)

S O R E N

The nurse opened my room. I put a finger to my lips and she stopped abruptly. The young girl, obviously new at her job tiptoed into the room a small smile on her lips.

One-handed she held the tray of food, pulling down a tabletop connected to the side of the bed and swung it around in arms reach.

Placing the tray onto the white tabletop she whispered, "Visitor hours are closed now, Mr. McKinin."

I nodded silently, looking down at Jay who was asleep, cuddled into my body so she wouldn't fall off the side of the single bed. A cards held limply in her hand, the rest of the deck scattered across the sheets.

"I'll give you a few minutes to wake her up, Mr--"

"She'll leave when I want her to." I interrupted her knowing I'd have to play the 'McKinin' card. Looking down at the girl with a distressful glance, "Do you know who I am?"

"U-Um, Sir. You're--"

"I am Soren McKinin, son of Albert McKinin, one of the most successful men in the world. I could easily get you fired from this job and the next." I growled and watched her eyes widened with shock and fear, "She will stay because I said she is staying. Do I make myself clear?"

She was nodding her head before shaking it, swallowing visible hard as her tiny hands shook ever so slightly.

"I just work here... It's the rules." She gulped taking a step back, "I would let you but--"

"Anyone who disagrees can talk to me themselves." My blunt tone towered over her weak excuses and blended into my sower expression, "Leave."

She stumbled before exiting, the poor girl's eyes wide with fear of my threats. I've watched my father do that act, time and time again. Acting better than someone to get what you want, wether that be a physical or mental reward.

"Soren?" Jay mumbled into my chest, I grunted in response before glancing down at small figure. Her breath was steady and slow, she was completely and utterly sound asleep.

A small smile of pure evilness tugged on my lips, "Do you like mangos?"

She grunted, "Mm, I do."

Forcing myself not to laugh I took my chance, knowing she'd answer my questions unconscious of her actions.

"Do you think I'm good looking?" I grinned, watching as she snuggled her face into my shirt, gripping the fabric ever so slightly. She said nothing and for a moment I thought her sleep had deepen into the 'no contact' zone.

"God's gift to man..." her voice turned into a whisper I couldn't pick it up, feeling myself I smirk and I gently tucked a piece of black hair that had fallen onto her face behind her ear.

She talks in her sleep, now that was God's gift to me. Was it wrong that I was getting information out of her like this? Yes, probably. But she will forgive me, that's if she finds out, which she won't.

"Hey Jay," the nervousness of my own voice shocked me, especially because she was asleep, "If... If I asked you out, would you say yes?"

Jay's eyes flickered open, causing me to have a small heart attack. I'm almost certain my heart monitor sprung from the acceleration of heart beats, thundering in my ears.

Jay seemed disoriented because she looked at my shirt, her hands before turning to look up at me.

"Good sleep?" Testing if she heard the question before, the room seemed oddly small as her cloudy brown eyes stared into mine.

"Did you just ask me out?" She croaked, bed hair sticking up at random angles as peered at me, checking for any signs of trickery. A small red mark traced half her cheek from how heavy she had been sleeping on the mattress. I found it completely adorable, the way she squinted her eyes at me looking for a smirk. The way her lip dropped slightly as her brow creased in thought, delicate hands still softly clutching my shirt.

"I'm pretty sure you're the one meaning to say yes, not me." A smiled traced my lips,
feeling my eyes glaze with calmness.

We simply stared at each other for seconds that felt like minutes. I knew she was thinking hard, the way her eyes flicked between both of mine. Doubt settled deep inside my heart at the thought of her not wanting me.

"Wait," She pulled away from from my body, slipping off the bed silently. Often I liked the coldness of my bed but somehow the warmth that we shared seemed comforting, I missed it when she moved.

Jay put her hands up slowly and steadily spoke, "I need you to understand... Committing to me means committing to life. To living."

"Jay—"

Jay pushed her lips together, her eyes holding complete and utter exposure, fear. She had opened up to me completely and she was as terrified as I was of that.

The bed creaked and heaved as I rolled onto my back, staring up at the white boring ceiling, running a hand through my black hair.

"It's okay to say no." I grunted, closing my eyes and resorting to the almost comforting colour of black. You could never go wrong with black, it was calm and neutral. I could stay there forever, never get hurt or never laugh. Just exist.

"As horrible as this sounds... I can't say yes if you still want to... Yeah. It's just, you'd take a part--a big part--of me with you... If you... Left." The silkiness of her voice sent a wave of control of me, forcing myself to focus on her words.

Opening my eyes I turned my head to one side to see her staring at the same ceiling. We sat in the same bed, staring at the same white ceiling and neither of us had the guts to address the elephant in the room.

"I'm not going to kill myself--"

"But what if something happens, what if you get— I don't know, you get lonely? What if--"
putting a hand over her mouth I smiled gently, baring no teeth as her body posture relaxed.

"You seem to like 'what if's' so let's work with that." Taking my hand off her mouth I turned back to the roof, "What if I was happy, what if I didn't want to die. What if you said yes. What if..."

I stopped when I glanced at her, she was crying. In complete shock of the tears rolling down her cheeks my body on instinct jolted backwards, trying to get a better look or how I could help. The mattress fell away underneath me and I hit the carpet hard, my drip tube tugging painfully on my wrist.

"Soren!" Jay yelped as she peered over the side of bed, I didn't get time to respond as a two nurses ran into the room.

Pushing my chest off the floor, they took an arm each and heaved me to my feet. Helping (forcing) me into on the bed, Jay standing awkwardly, blushing fiercely.

"I'm fine--" one nurse checked the machine for the records of my heartbeat, another asking me multiple questions of dizziness and my ability to breathe.

It waited until another twenty minutes after they finally left, excusing Jay of being their after hours. Obviously the younger nurse had got the message around.

Staring at the white roof in embarrassment, "Well," visibly tired I could only just hear her laugh softly, "I'm like a sitting duck in a room full of hunters."

"I'm... The only person in the room." Jay whispered, a confused almost hurt expression on her face. She had surprisingly stopped crying, wiping the tears off the side of her cheeks that had escaped her eyes.

"Exactly," the room shrank as my doubt consumed every inch of the room, "I never thought I'd be duck waiting to be shot and killed."

"Soren--"

"But you know what's the best part," I turned to her with an honest smile on my lips, "I grew a liking to that hunter, I wouldn't matter if she shot me dead. I'd just happy that she was the last thing I saw before I died."

She gulped and I added quickly, "All hypothetically, of course."

It was dark outside, a small window illuminated the world outside this bed. It was warmer in here, in a building of death and I preferred it. My eyes found Jay's and I realised I didn't like the building, no. I liked the girl inside it, one with dark hair and ate mangos like a drug. One that was happy alone, yet afraid to be given up on.

"Ducks choose their partners for life." She whispered, her face hidden in the shadow of the wall. The only source of light being the moonlight that beamed across of my bed like blanket.

A beat of silence.

"Jay, be my duck?"

The pause was longer this time and I felt so exposed. As if I had my own beating, bloody heart in my hands. Watching Jay choose a dagger or her own heart to give me.

"Yes, I'd love to be your... duck."

Her words rung in my head, my throat went dry and I sat up quickly, turning to look at her with a complete shock stage engulf me.

She took a step, then two and before I could breathe a girl, her skin kissed golden and hair the colour of the night, fell into my arms.

Almost so slow it was painful, I wrapped my arms around her, not comprehending that she was mine and I was hers. Warmth spread through me like honey and I breathed in deeply, peace—a lightness, filled my chest. The feeling turned us into one single whole. One smell of vanilla and earth, one body as we clutched each other.

One heart that was once was broken, now fixed.

-

I did some messing around and Ta Da! It's Soren McKinin beaten up with a few more tats! I have no idea how you imagine him but this is almost exactly how I do. Almost.

Update: 3 years since this and no - no this is not Soren for me....