J A Y

It wasn't every day our school took my grade out on a camp. The school had been battering and tampering with the idea but the day had come.

I watched as everyone paired up with his or her bus partner. It was all very exciting; most wanted to lose their first kiss in the "wilderness".

To my surprise, Soren McKinin boarded the bus. I thought he couldn't afford anything to do with sleeping in a tent with people. I glanced around and it was obvious most of the girls had noticed, too, and were whispering.

I sat alone; Soren sat away from me. I guess our conversations behind the school did not mean we were friends at all.

The camp wasn't very—per say—clean, but it had a beautiful lake and many dirt tracks for hiking or motorbike riding.

I was supposed to be in a tent with a girl called Christie Quok who'd I'd never actually heard speak English.

I sat under a big pine tree and opened my book, feeling the light rays of sun greet my skin. Shouts came from the lake as the boys tackled each other into the water, girls following close behind.

I watched a poor, old, skinny math teacher run after everyone telling them to be careful.

Once we had been changed, the teachers gathered us together and packed the hiking backpacks with tents, clothes, food, water and other cooking items.

The walk wasn't long, but it was uphill and my calves ached by the time we reached our destination.

Everyone set up their tents; Christie spent a good ten minutes trying to find our tent. Dinner consisted of eggs and bacon rolled into a wrap but it was good enough for me.

"There's an activity tonight for anyone who wants to be involved." Mr Boyle announced as we cleaned our dishes, "A Four Wheel drive experience. Can I please get a show of hands who would like to participate?"

I looked around at the raised hands and grinned.

"Wonderful. Put your dishes away and we'll get started." I watched as kids scattered to run to their tents.

To my surprise, I was put in a car with Soren who he seemed completely dead to the world. One elbow resting against the window, the other hand stuffed in his pocket. William, a small headed boy, sat in the front seat, while Christie sat in the middle of Soren and I.

Our driver put down all the window as we sped along the dusty roads; it wasn't long before the roads turned into fields.

The driver took so many turns in different directions. At a certain point, I literally couldn't tell which way camp was.

Christie had one hand over her mouth and I leaned away hoping she wouldn't puke on me.

The cars slowed to a stop and I watched as the girl cambered over Soren's lap and puked outside, laying full length over the both of us.

Soren didn't move; he didn't pat her on the back for support. He just waited until she got over him before he got out.

It surprised me how someone could show that much emptiness. He must get to a point where he just wants to scream from the silence that surrounds him.

Everyone gathered around the instructors as they listened to a woman explain the environment they'd parked in.

"Now I need everyone to keep close, we're outside the barriers. Bears, wolves and other animals do live in these woods and fields. Do not go wandering off..." the instructor's voice drifted off in my mind as I saw Soren walking into the fields.

My eyes widened. What is he doing? I stood at the back of our large group and without anyone noticing, I slipped off and hid behind a Four Wheeler.

It almost hurt how no one noticed I left but as Soren disappeared over the hill, I quickly forgot.

I ran into the fields, the grass coming up to my hips. The voice of my classmates and the instructors dimmed in volume as I kept running in Soren's direction.

There was no moon that night and I cursed him for wearing a black jumper.

I slowed my run after seeing him a few feet ahead of me, crouched down in the grass. Actually, he was lying on his stomach, unmoving. For a moment, I thought he had died.

I grabbed his shoulder and he snapped his head in my direction, green goggles staring back up at me. He didn't jump but it was obvious he hadn't heard me.

"Blue Jay?" He whispered, pulling up his thick black goggles and staring at me; it was too dark to see his blue eyes but I knew they'd be as blunt as ever.

"Jay." I corrected before hissing, "What are you doing? The cars will be leaving soon—"

"Doing the only thing I came on this damn camp for." He pulled the goggles back on and put a finger to his lips.

I could still hear the kids back laughing and talking; they haven't left yet.

"I think we should go back." I suggested, flinching when a rustle came from the grass. Soren didn't make a sound so I opened my mouth to argue further but he spoke, "Don't."

"They're going to leav—"

"If you can't shut up then go." He growled before gasping, signalling for me to come down to his level. I glanced around once, making sure the cars had not left before lying next to Soren.

He stared into the darkness and it was at that moment I realised that the goggles were night vision. I turned to look at Soren and could just see the gleam of white teeth. I didn't even know Soren McKinin could smile.

"What are you looking at?" I whispered and watched as Soren put his face is the grass sighing in frustration.

He took off the goggles and gave them to me, which I took, placing them over my head; I stared through the lens: Just green scenery- Grass, dead leaves, and dry dirt.

"I don't see—" I stopped when Soren grabbed my chin gently and turned my head.

A small nest of American Goldfinch sat on the earth, the parents both sitting in a nest snuggled together lovingly. I smiled and bit my lip so I wouldn't squeal in happiness.

"American—"

"Goldfinch." Soren finished; I took off the goggles and stared at him in wonder.

"You love birds?" I asked in amazement; Soren McKinin didn't love anything.

He ran his hand through his hair and shrugged before taking the goggles out of my hand. He pulled out a small camera, which seemed more expensive than my house.

Taking a photo of the birds, he went to stand up but I grabbed his arm, "Hey I'm your bird partner, where's our group photos?"

Soren looked down at me before shaking his head slowly and fully standing up. He turned towards the cars.

"Fuck!" Soren swore and I stood up quickly, the cars were gone and everything was deadly quiet beside the sound of bugs singing.

I ran after Soren through the fields as he sprinted to where the cars used to be; we arrived at the grassy area. Fresh car tracks were nowhere to be seen.

"They left us! Christine, you bitch." I said, yelling. Soren slammed his hand over my mouth with such force it almost hurt.

"Shut up, we don't want whatever's out here to hear us." He hissed, taking his hand away and pulling his goggles on, "The tracks all look the same age but they're not because we haven't had rain for a while. We can't follow them back; we'll get lost for sure."

I tried to slow my breathing as the grass rustled and the trees hung over us like a cage trapping rats in. Soren turned to look at me saying bluntly, "Calm down."

I took a big breath in and closed my eyes. I shook myself mentally and opened my eyes to see Soren gone.

"Soren!" I screamed as arms wrapped over my chest and a person placed a hand over my mouth. I could feel a hard solid back breathing against mine, "Let go—"

"It's me, you idiot," Soren said before grabbing my hand, "Stop making noise, you're okay. You can't see so I just need you to not let go."

I followed Soren blindly forward until my other outstretched hand felt the rough texture of bark. The scrunching of leaves under my feet seemed deathly loud in the soundless environment.

"We are going to climb this tree because I prefer not getting eaten by a bear." He said calmly, taking my foot in his hands. He counted down before lifting me up, "Okay, take one step up to your left...a little higher. There, now take your right hand—there you go. That branch should be strong enough to hold your weight and you won't fall, it's thick."

"How are you getting up?" I asked knowing I didn't have enough grip to keep myself stable and pull him up, let alone if I was strong enough.

I saw the outline of Soren as he jumped to the first branch and pulled himself one handed up to a smaller branch, standing on that branch he pulled himself up to the log like the branch I was sitting on, crawled in next me, leaning his back against the trunk. I sat, legs on either side off the branch.

"I can't believe they forgot us..." I said mainly to myself, knowing Soren wouldn't respond, "When do you think they'll notice?"

"I don't know. Prawn head—" Soren referenced the boy who sat in front of us on the ride here.

"William." I corrected.

I knew he was glaring at me, "PRAWN head was going to sleep with some other dickheads; he won't know I'm not there."

"Christie probably noticed I wasn't there and she won't say anything." I sighed into the night air wishing I had a trunk to lean against, "So we'll probably be here all night."

Soren shrugged and leant his head against the tree trunk. My eyes were adjusting but even so, I could only see small features of Soren, nothing past the tree we sat in.

We sat in silence before Soren spoke, "You knew about the American Goldfinch?"

I grinned, "Yeah, my mum and I used to go bird watching all the time."

"Used to?" He asked quietly. I stared into his eyes, which seemed brown in the lack of lighting we had.

I nodded before picking at the bark of the tree, "She went to England."

Soren was quiet for a moment before opening his mouth but I answered his question before he could say it, "Yeah, she never came back."

To my surprise, he didn't hold the silence, "England's just cold and wet anyways."

I laughed and smiled, "What about you? What's up with your parents?"

S O R E N

Jay was less annoying than I thought. She seemed to have a lot to say, but don't we all?

She wasn't nosy and she acted like she didn't know anything about me. Everyone knows.

It's surprising how people's true character is shown when they're put in a drastic situation. I wouldn't have thought Jay to be the frozen type, after she ran to help the junior. I didn't expect her to be heroic either.

"My parents are not worth talking about." I spat, which I noticed didn't affect Jay.

She just shrugged and accepted it. It was like she couldn't read how I distant I was being.

"Well what is?" She questioned, pulling out her ponytail and rubbing her head like it was sore. I watched for a moment in thought.

We're going to be stuck together for at least six hours, might as well talk.

"I don't know..." I said. It wasn't awkward; it was a peaceful acceptance that we didn't know what to say.

"Now, the big question is: do you have a girlfriend?" My eyes widened in shock before she held up her hands, "Hear me out! I could sell this information on the school black market."

I laughed softly before asking, "It's valuable information?"

My laugh shocked me to the core. I hadn't laughed in weeks. It seemed to have shocked Jay, too, because she was staring at me with such big brown eyes I couldn't help but wonder how she wasn't related to the owl family.

"Are you kidding me?!" She laughed again, running her hands through her hair, "Girls would absolutely go crazy."

I shrugged, "I don't know about that."
She shrugged doing an imitation of me; I raised an eyebrow at her and watched her do the same.

"Stop it."

"What?" She grinned innocently and I moved my hand to see her do the same.

"You sit in that same spot, with the Blue Jays, everyday?" I asked trying to change the subject of her copying me, "Alone?"

Jay was weird but it was a good weird, if that's possible.

"I don't mind being alone." She said simply, breaking a piece of bark, she'd pull off the branch.

I shook my head, "You're too alone to be truly happy."

"And you're too happy to be alone."

We stared at each other and I felt completely exposed in her presence. I hated it.

"Don't make conclusions about stuff that you know nothing about." I grunted and turned to stare away from her gaze; I don't owe her my life story. I don't owe anyone anything.

"You still have that camera?" She asked through the darkness. I nodded and asked what she wanted it for, "To remember this moment."

"I prefer to forget rather than to remember."
Nonetheless, I gave her my camera saying if she dropped it, I would surely push her off the branch. I watched her turn it up to the sky and take a photo before smiling.

She then turned the lens to face us and said, "Smile."

To my surprise, she turned around and gave me a look, "You can do it. Just show your teeth."
"That's not really smiling—"I argued but she interrupted me, "Then let it reach your eyes."

The flash left little dots in my vision.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours before she whispered, "Um Soren, would mind if I leant against you so I could fall asleep. Humans can't physically sleep when they're sitting straight up."

Jay slept against my chest that night and I held her so she wouldn't fall. I could feel her heartbeat and she could feel mine, not that she cared.

It was in that moment I realised what having a body pressed up against mine made the whole world less cold. It made me feel real.

Like I was not going to die alone.

-

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Amazing cover by my amazing friend SarahattheDisco168