[edited]
S O R E N

Henry looked at me blankly as I sat in the chair silently. He glanced up at the clock before looking at me expectantly. We kept our gaze, my arms crossed as he leant back in his chair.

The only movement was the rising and falling of our chests. I had no intention of talking and he seemed to be waiting me out. His rough beard matched his ageing hair, his blue shirt standing out.

I watched emotionless as he itched his nose slightly before turning back to his normal calm stance. He looked up the clock once again before his voice broke the silence, "Hour's up."

I stood up and zipped up my jacket, pulling on my beanie. He said nothing as I opened the door and unconsciously looked at the couch where I was half-excited to meet the gaze of Jay, though there was nothing.

"She's gone." Henry's voice echoed in my head as I stared at the empty coach, thinking she has changed her time so she wouldn't have to see me.

I turned to look at Henry as he stacked a load of paper into the printer, "She doesn't do counselling anymore."

"Oh."

"I can't legally tell you why." He typed into the printer, the sound of paper registering itself echoed in the quiet room.

"I didn't want to know."

He looked up and said blankly, "Then why are you still here? Why did you stop, turn around and talk to me. Especially after you sat silently in that damn chair for an hour, counting the seconds until this session ended."

I glared at him and threatening took a step towards him, "Don't fuck with me. You don't want to fuck with me."

He walked over to me slowly, "You see, I wasn't. To anyone else that wouldn't have been triggering, yet to you, it was," he leaned against his table top, "Now tell me, why is that?"

Henry watched as my breathing when rigid and my fingers turned into clench fist. I forced myself not to grab his neck and push it into the table with such force he'd have long term damage. I don't like losing, being made a fun of.

"Could it be you missing Ms. Whiley?" He stared me directly and took a deep breath before giving me a calm look. 

"How the fuck did you—that little—she told you about our fight."

"Nope, but you just did." I took three strides until I was chest to chest with the short man, "I've observed you, Soren. You don't seem to love anything, which isn't true, because look at you; you're still alive, humans die without love. So, you do love something—"

"Say another word and I'll break your fucking nose," I pointed a finger at him, my frame towering over him, "You don't know shit about me."

"I do know when you can't cope or don't know how to cope, you result to violence." He flicked between my eyes, "Maybe a family trait? A father figure, probably."

I gripped the desk that he leant against with both hands and flipped it, never taking my eyes off the motherfucker as the table hit the ground, noise exploding.

"I am fucking nothing like my dad. Don't you dare..." I stopped when the door creaked open, Jay peering in.

"Sorry I'm late—" she stopped suddenly, looking into my eyes then the destroyed room then to Henry. She looked back to me and held up both hands, "Soren, it's okay. Just—"

"Fucking shut up! I'm not under your control; you don't have some special mother-fucking power that makes me listen to you." I yelled at her before turning back to Henry.

My hand gripped his shirt and pulled my fist back but froze. My eyes trailed down slowly as I stared at Jay's arms, which were wrapped around my torso, her body pressed against my back.

"You didn't mean it. You didn't mean it." She whispered over and over and again, "It's okay. It's okay. I forgive you."

My hand went slack and I stared at Henry who didn't seem the least bit scared that I almost smashed his face in.

"Jay." My voice was cold and strong, stronger than I felt, "Let go."

Her arms untwined themselves and turned around to look at her worried face, her owl-like eyes staring at me.

"Henry," I stared at Jay who was holding her own hands, "I fucking hate you, you son-of-a-bitch."

I ruffled Jay's hair in way to calm her down or maybe myself. "Are you a goldfish? I don't want you, Jay."

"I don't care," she grinned softly, "I gave up my job at a perfectly good smoothie cafe to go to a place you wanted me to go to. So, you owe me."

My eyes locked on her eyes. I couldn't help but give her an explanation.

"No," My hand, which had been resting on her head, slid down to her cheek, "Not this time. You really can't be around me anymore."

"You'd kill someone if I wasn't here." Her voice was half- playful but she honestly seemed worried I'd hurt someone without her, which is probably true.

"Henry," I turned around and looked at him blankly, "I'm having a fucking heart-felt moment and I can physically, fucking feel you breathing on the back of neck."

"It's my office, kid."

Jay and I walked along the road as we headed for the Lighthouse Cafe. We hadn't said anything since we left the building.

"Jay," She stopped and I unconsciously put my hands in my pockets, "we can't."

"If you don't want me aroun—"

I groaned, "it's not that."

She put her hands on her hips, "Were you happy with us hanging out?"

"Yes, but—"

"What are you so afraid of?" Her voice held pain, which confused me; why should she be hurting? I'm the one dying, "What rock is keeping you from being happy? You literally have the choice of happiness at your fingertips. I'm not saying I'm 'happiness' but—but you were happy with me."

Her eyes fluttered around at different objects as she talked. She used her hands to bring across her point.

"Why are shutting me out over being happy?" She looked up at me suddenly and my breath hitched; she honestly looked like she cared.

"I can't—I can't..." Breaking eye contact was harder than I thought. It was as if I couldn't handle her stare.

"Soren...you don't have—" something cracked in me, I don't know whether it was her tone or just the fact that she cared enough not to let me drown, not to let go.

"Fucking stop." She took a shaky step back as I realised I'd screamed in her face. I took my beanie off and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"I'll end up falling in love with you." I pitched the bridge of my nose, "I pay for you to spend time with me but it's inevitable."

Her face slackened as she looked at the ground, "Why is that such a bad thing..."

I looked at her in disbelief, "Um, for one, I'm not going to be on this earth for a lot longer," Her mouth dropped slightly and I found myself forcing a laugh, "and two, I end up hurting everything that I love."

"That's not tru—" I held up a hand. She's the second person to answer like that, but that is truth.

"So what's the point? We somehow fall in love. You get hurt because of me and then I die." My voice was brutally blunt and I smiled sarcastically, "Happy ending."

Jay just stared at me, shaking her head in what I could read as disbelief.

"Let's save everyone the trouble," I placed my beanie back on my head and stuffed my hands in my pockets, "You don't get hurt and I'll just become a name in the newspaper. Honestly, Jay, everyone wins."

-

🎷And that's life, that's what all the people say.

Well, this story got real sad really quickly.

My sister gave me this massive lecture of how she loves my story because and I quote "the story has a sweet and natural progression that doesn't sacrifice the sweet and quirky friendship for romance and it's really moving to see Jay and Soren care deeply for one another but also have boundaries in their relationship that gives it stakes but also provides the grounds for them both to better themselves and each other through their relationship. But neither do you claim that a relationship alone will solve their problems and it's great to actually see characters with their own autonomy that's affects the story's flow and events."

And I said, "So I can't kill Soren?"

"I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!"