I thought I'd add music to this chapter. Music in Bucks basement.

S O R E N

It wasn't until I was laying awake on my bed that I regretted showing Jay the roses two days ago. They were my pride and joy, my little secret. A secret that should have been kept a secret, because somethings are meant to stay hidden.

Her reaction was one of little movement, she had squatted down and touched one of the petals. Her eyes were wide with wonder as she asked why I did it. I had said nothing because there was nothing to say, I had no answer.

I guess I just did it out of habit, partially out of love and mainly because the roses had seen too many memories to die due to rejection. They were not going to die the same way as me.

It wasn't late but dad had opened up a bottle of vodka to celebrate his business and accomplishment and if he reacted the same way as me, he'd be drinking more than one glass. An angry drunk some would call him, one I avoided at all cost.

My phone vibrated and I picked up the call. Bucks voice was clear, unaltered by the amount of alcohol he had consumed or lack of.

"Hey kid, I know yer told meh not to call you but—" I interpreted him,

"No you don't call, at all. What happened if Albert picked up? He could hunt you guys down and shut down the club, lock you up." Warning him was to no prevail, he always called when a new stock had come in.

"Yah but he ain't picking up yer phone, it's always on yah." He argued the exact point we did every time he called, "Lettin yah know, new stocks in. Busy tonight, come down before it's gone."

I pitched the bridge of my nose, "okay."

"Yer coming?" He asked, I heard laughing and yelling in the background, music playing loudly.

"Anywheres fucking better than here." I grunted, hanging up on him before grabbing my hoodie and jacket.

There was only two way out of the house without anyone seeing you, which was through Red's or Colin's window. A drain pip went straight down the side of the house in both cases, close enough that you could grab onto a slide down from his window sill.

I chose Reds. I knocked once, no one answered so I entered. His room was dark but I could still see his made bed and picture frames on the wall.

Dad had come in and broken the one of him and Sandra, telling him the way to get over someone is to delete all evidence they existed.

I had watched from the doorway as Red picked up the broken glass and frames. He wasn't crying, he hadn't looked hurt at all. He had just
hung them back up and saying in a hushed voice, "Sandra, don't you think it's entertaining watching him try break something that can't be broken?"

It wasn't until I turned to the window that I noticed Colin leaning on his stomach, head directly out the window staring to the ground.

"Hey," I said and watched him jumped.

"Bloody hell Soren! Shut the door." He ordered before leaning over the window sill. I turned to close the door only for Robin to walk in holding the a rope. He closed the door behind him before walking over to us.

I leant over the window sill and stared down at Red who was kissing a girl with frizzy black hair.

Looking away I watched Robin lift up the bed as Colin placed the lop of rope on Red's wooden bed leg, "He such a pussy."

Colin laughed, Robin just shook his head grinning.

That's how it worked. You went down the drain pipe at your own accord and texted one of the boys to let down the rope so you could climb back up.

I helped Colin throw the heavy thick rope over the window sill and before taking end of the rope in case, somehow it came loose which was almost impossible. Robin waited outside, guarding the door in case someone tried to enter.

Colin was looking over the edge, his brow creased in focus. Moments later he leaned over and pulled Red up into the room, he grinned in victory. I slipped out the window and down the drain pipe before either of them could ask where I was going or noticed I was gone.

The walk was long and quiet, it was a lot fucking colder than usually too. Most people had dressed their houses in Christmas lights, a blazing glory of hideousness. Mother was planning on putting up ours next week as a family event but I doubt that would happened, everyone would find their own excuse.

I knocked on Bucks door which opened quickly, he looked in straight in the eyes before grinning. He led me inside as if I was an old friend who'd he'd invited to watch a football match with.

We walked through his living room and down the steps into the basement, it was a deep basement. So soundproof you couldn't hear the pounded music when standing on the first floor.

Music pounded, bodies pressed up to each other, people swallowed liquids that could recognise. I followed Buck through the crowd, pulling down my hood.

We walked up to the bar and Beck ordered us a drink, "I haven't seen yeh in a week or so. What happened to yeh?"

I swallowed the shot as if it was water, "fucking drugs."

Beck grinned at me, asking for another shot. He was a tall man, bright red hair, tanned skin and green eyes is probably what got him a lady most nights.

"Kid, look." He nudged his head and I turned around to watch a girl in a bright red dress, that barely covered her ass walk towards us.

"Buck—" I stopped when she snaked her arm around my neck before plopping herself onto my lap.

"Evening Buck," She smiled, her hand running up my chest, "your friend looked quite lonely."

Bucked chuckled and threw my under the bus, "indeed he does."

I looked down at her hand body then up into the girls blue eyes who looked at me lustily. She leant down to my lips, almost touching before moving to my ear, "Come dance with me."

I ran my hand down her back so it rested on her ass before I smirking, whispering back, "Sorry baby, I only do guys."

I've never seen a girl get off my lap so fast, she disappeared into the crowd without even looking back. I laughed and turned around to the man behind the bar who was staring at me.

"You know you fucking just turned away the hottest girl in this club?" He served me my drink before giving me a disbelieving glance.

"Another drink."

And I drank. I drank until I couldn't see straight, drank until Jay's name became Ray and Red become Yellow. I drank away everything in this world, everything that hated me and everything that loved me.

It was on the tenth shot that I realised that no one could love me. No one could love a monster. A monster; something can't be loved.

"Kid, stop." The bartender warned me, grabbing my wrist tightly as I went to take the drink, "You've sat here for about half an hour and have taken ten shots. Six more to go and you'll be dead for sure."

I looked around heavily, forcing myself to focus of his face, "That wouldn't be so bad, would it."

He handed me a cigarette, "Take this, it'll calm you down. I don't know what sorrow you're drinking away but it's as if someone died."

I took the the cigarette shakily and let him light it . Taking a deep breathe in, I breathed the smoke out of my nostrils, "someone did die."

He looked at me without pity but with curiosity, I took a another breath in, "I fucking died."

I turned around on my seat, almost falling over from the fast movement and alcohol flowing throughout my body. Staring out at the crowd everything seemed to slow down and become a lot louder.

"I died a long time ago." I vomited seconds later.

-

*backs away slowly from all the comments about how shit of a person Soren is*

V O T E ?
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C O M M E N T?
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F A N?
(If you are dare...)