Okay, so ... after the melancholy-ness (yep, I made that word up myself) of the previous part I published, it's time to get back to my normal sarcastic self. :')

Did you miss the sarcastic me?

*Tumbleweed passes by*

Well alrighty then.

Anyway, this time, we're going to delve (nice word, that is) into this little statement, and the reasons why it's a load of crap.

Have any of your wonderful non-Moonwalker friends ever said this to you?:

"Michael Jackson looks like a woman"?

I'm sure I'm not alone in this; it's normally written as part of an insensitive comment on Facebook, or a silly classmate at school decides to say it to aggravate you.

Point is, it's said a lot about Michael. And why? What about him actually looks womanly, huh? Because personally, I don't see anything in Michael that resembles a woman. And before any haters say anything, I wanna make it clear that even if I wasn't a Moonwalker, I would still struggle to see how Michael – in any kind of way – looks womanly.

Let's look at some evidence, shall we? Yes, yes; I think we should.

First of all, he had stubble in some stages of his life:

This appears to be Mature era (2005 sort time), so ... since when did a woman ever have stubble? I don't recall that being a typical thing.

Let's have a look at Off The Wall era, shall we?

You can just see it. But it's there. He was incredibly manly!

Then we come to his hair. His hair was long for the majority of his life, yes, but it's not exclusively a female style, is it? Let's reverse it; if a woman has short hair, nobody says anything about that. So ... why does a male – such as Michael – having long hair cause them to be criticised?

Whilst we're on the subject of hair, I'll let that be an excuse to share some pictures of Michael's wonderful long hair:

Ah, Bad era; where the long hair really began. People say the Bad era is Michael's best; his sexiest. But how does that work, if that's when he started to "look like a woman"? You need to sort yourself out, non-Moonwalkers, because you either like his appearance or you don't. Doubt there's an in between. 😂

Let's have a look at another photo of his long hair:

This is probably the longest his hair ever was in his lifetime. But ... how does it make him look like a woman? Answer me that, if you will? Or is that too difficult for you?

Are there any other factors that make Michael so "womanly"?

Well, actually, there is – his makeup.

Okay, so ... a lot of people think that Michael looked more womanly due to his makeup. Uh ... excuse me? Makeup did nothing to make him look like a woman – it simply enhanced his features; made them stand out a little more.

Hell, he looks the same with or without makeup, God damn it!

Don't believe me? See for yourself.

With makeup:

As you can see here, he is with Debbie Rowe. As much as I love Debbie, she is kind of irrelevant to what I'm trying to say. Focus on Michael, if you will. Thank you. 😊

Okay, so, in the picture, Michael has some eye makeup on – that's kind of clear to see. But the thing is, there are pictures in which Michael has absolutely no eye makeup on at all, and he looks pretty much the same!

Take this one for example:

Of course, ignoring the microphone in front of his face, he's got the same look with or without makeup; the only difference is, the makeup Michael has more defined features. Does that make him look womanly?

No. No, it doesn't! 🙄

Now for the more amusing part. This part was kinda awkward for me to do, but I've done it anyway, to prove a point.

Non-Moonwalkers, how can Michael be a woman if he clearly has the ... uhm ... male version of the human body? (Putting it politely, because I'm slightly embarrassed to put the actual name).

I'll let you see for yourself.

Taken from In The Closet live from the HIStory Tour (Lord help my soul; it's my main weakness. 😩❤️❤️). This clearly indicates that Michael was no female. :3

Let's just show a picture instead. 😌

I never saw a woman with that before, so ... yeah. You were saying, non-Moonwalkers?

I think I've raised my point, even if the latter section was slightly awkward for me to write about. 😳😂

Basically, non-Moonwalkers, don't say to us Moonwalkers that Michael looks like a woman. Chances are, we won't be very happy with that statement, and then we'll grab the closest Michael album to us and whack you one with it, to prove how "Bad" and "Dangerous" we can be if you step outta line. You've been warned. :')

That's all for now, mi amigos. Adios! 👋🏻

Peace. ✌🏻️