I check my phone

I check it all the time

I check it like anybody would actually text me first

I check it like someone cares for me

I check it like I'd really matter

I check it like I'd be important to someone

But soon after

I realize:

No notifications

And I ask myself the same questions over and over again:

Why are you doing this to yourself ?

Why is everybody doing this to you ?

And the most important question:

Will it ever be different  ?