Let it all out;

these are the words I held back

               I was hurt. I was harmed. I was a victim of awful things. I was bullied, I was sexually used by a paedophile when I was six, as an object of masturbation. I lost friends, I lived, breathed, experienced a dictatorship. I became an immigrant, I have suffered xenophobia. I started making awful jokes, so people don't get to joke about me ever again.

                  I found love that hasn't been welcomed in my family. Therefore, I have become jealous of my sister, who did find a love that my family accepts.

                      But I should not feel affected by it. The love I feel for my love is pure. God loves him and that's the greatest kind of welcoming I could ask for. My parents don't know my love, yet, but they'll get to know him and love him.

                    I tried to break records in less than a year, but I didn't; therefore, I have become jealous of the people who did break records. But I'll break my records, too.

                      I feel envy, but I won't do that anymore. I love my sister and I'm proud of her, because she finally found the love she's been looking for, for so long. I love my friends, and I am proud of them for reaching all their goals so quickly. From now on, I only wish them the best.

             And to my parents, I forgive you. You have your ideals and they're not quite like mine, but that's okay, because you still love me. And I still love you. We will find a middle point solution. You have stayed despite of all the times I have messed up and tried to push you away.

                And to God, I know you have a plan for me, and I welcome it. You're the captain in this ship. You have put me in this path for a reason. And I have collided with all this people for a reason, too. 

                For that, I am grateful. I am letting all out and I'll keep doing so.