What in Sihlea's name had happened?

Marius followed Frey with his gaze as he disappeared up the stairs, leaving a clearly shaken mother and a conversation that would with all certainty be awkward behind him.

Fortunately, Marius was not the worst at uncomfortable conversations, so after a painful moment of silence he decided to break it.

"Of course I wouldn't ask you to leave, Lady Magnusdóttir." He turned to Valdís, who stood tense as a violin string with her eyes turned promptly downwards. "You know how Frey can be, and he wouldn't actually turn you away."

Valdís swallowed, needing a moment before opening her mouth to let a strained voice out.

"I believe this time it's understandable that he would."

Marius sighed through his nose, having anticipated this moment for a long time, but he had not been aware he would face it alone.

"It's about me, isn't it?" He got his confirmation as Valdís' lips pinched even tighter together. "I don't know how exactly he expected to hide it from you for too long, but I suppose he was hoping to win you over before that happened."

Valdís let out a trembling exhale as she opened her mouth again.

"It's nothing against you as a person," she whispered, clearing her throat in an attempt to speak more assertively. "But Frey is not in the position to do what he wants, even if it gets in the way of the life he'd prefer to lead."

Marius stifled the annoyance that wanted to build in his throat. He hadn't wanted to believe it when he'd watched Frey's struggles, hoping he had simply misunderstood things as he did sometimes, but his parents really had forced him to think that way. They had made him deny his feelings all along.

"I won't pretend to understand what's going on with your town and surrounding problems." He managed to soften his tone instead. "But you must realise I will never want Frey to sacrifice his happiness for anything."

Valdís had no reply to that, though a conflicted frown appeared ever so vaguely on her face.

So Marius sighed again, gesturing towards the kitchen.

"Why don't we have some tea?" He waved her along. "Take a moment to calm down properly."

He glanced over his shoulder as he hung the kettle over the fire. Valdís had quietly taken a seat by the table, gaze resting on the glass of dandelions with an increasingly deepening wrinkle on her forehead. Was cheering her up even possible? Was it called for? Perhaps she wanted to be alone.

Regardless, it was too late to not make tea now, and Marius was not one for letting people wallow in silence.

"I'm surprised he was caught off guard by the discussion." He tried to brighten the mood with a small laugh. "With the way he overthinks things, I expected him to have a lengthy speech prepared, at least."

"There's... More," Valdís admitted, possibly hesitant if she should say anything at all. "It's not just about you. He also found out about some... Things that I've been keeping from him... For a long time."

Marius raised an eyebrow, scanning her shaken appearance.

"Found out because you told him, or accidentally?"

"... Accidentally."

"So..." Marius hesitated. It didn't feel like his place to snoop, but it concerned Frey and Valdís was the one who'd brought it up in the first place. "... It was pretty bad, then?"

Valdís sat quiet for a while, contemplating something while staring out the window.

"Do you know about his condition?" she finally asked, and though Marius waited, no further elaboration came, so his eyes lowered to her trembling hands.

"I do."

"Does it bother you?"

Something in her voice betrayed her. Marius couldn't put a finger on what, and Frey's tendencies to stifle emotions back when they first met were in light of this conversation hereditary, but a sinking feeling still weighed his chest down as a theory he'd considered before was solidified.

"No," he said. "But I'm sure you understand he was very afraid when I noticed it."

Valdís nodded slowly, eyes wandering towards the glass of flowers again.

"Yes, that's... Understandable."

"What worries me is when he hurts himself," Marius continued, if nothing else seeing an opportunity to get some answers, or advice. "I don't know how to help him through that. Not yet, at least."

The dread in Valdís' eyes was unmistakable.

"He... Hurts himself?"

Marius nodded again, and though Valdís kept her gaze firmly on the dandelions, she seemed to have registered his movement from the corner of her eye, and she fell into silence.

It proved harder than Marius had thought to feel bad for her. She'd known Frey had pretended to be someone he wasn't for most of his life, so naturally he had hidden parts that people would find undesirable, but as his mother she should have at least paid attention to what was going on behind his facade.

"It's not that he wants to." He turned to watch the kettle again. "He says it's the only way to make it stop."

"I should have known," Valdís whispered, as though having read Marius' earlier thoughts. "I should have been aware of it. He's my son, after all."

Marius knitted his eyebrows, walking over to the pantry to fetch tea leaves.

"You know, when I first saw it... When he fell apart, I had no idea what to do." He winced at the memory, thoughtlessly squeezing the bag of leaves in his hand. "But I wanted to learn. To be able to help him. So I began asking around, talking to friends about it— without mentioning who it concerned, I might add— and eventually heard about a similar story from a friend whose neighbour shared many of Frey's traits."

Valdís didn't respond, but given her son's reluctance to discuss the subject, it only made Marius more certain.

"And apparently this person's mother showed symptoms of the same condition, because as my friend understood it, it often runs in the family."

More silence, and Marius stifled a discontented sigh. He knew he was crossing lines. It was not his business, but in a way he also considered it to be, for Frey's sake.

"At first I dismissed it, because why would Frey not have been aware of that if so? But then, he's also been very reluctant to talk about it at all... Likely because he's always been forced to hide it, so I guess I thought... Maybe he's not the only one who's been forced to do so?"

He turned his head, trying to lock eyes with Valdís but failing as the latter refused to meet his gaze.

"It's... Cruel," Valdís whispered, seemingly more to the flowers than Marius. "He never deserved to feel the way he does, but the alternative would not have been kinder to him."

"So... That is what he found out, then?"

"I didn't want him to see it." Valdís turned the ring on her finger. "I didn't want anyone to see it, not even Frey. Not even myself. I just... Tried to keep it from ever showing. Made it disappear as well as I could. If Frey had known, he would have felt like it was something he could show because he wasn't alone, but it would have hurt. People would have hurt him, because... We're different from others, in a way they don't understand."

She sucked in a breath.

"And I didn't want to see myself in him." Her voice turned bitter. "I know it's a despicable thought, and not a day went by when I didn't hate myself for thinking that way, but I couldn't stand seeing him show those traits I've struggled so hard to hide. That I've been forced to hate, so I kept telling him to hide them."

Marius absentmindedly removed the kettle from the fire, conflicted feelings of contempt and compassion spinning in his head, and he dreaded the next question he had, both for Valdís' and Frey's sake.

"Did... Your husband force you to hide it?"

A soft, wry laugh had been the last thing he'd expected to hear, and he glanced back in surprise.

"Claus and I rarely fought." Valdís kept twisting the ring. "The only times we did, it was about this. About me refusing to embrace who I really was in front of others and making Frey follow my example. In the end he, very reluctantly, gave in after I insisted I knew better than him on the matter. I was the one living with it after all, but it never stopped bothering him."

She released a breath, tension in her shoulders finally easing up.

"He was the only one I could be myself around. Even as I tried to hide it, he brought it out. He tore down my walls as if it was the only way I could act around him. Making me feel like it wasn't a bad thing for once. Like it was..."

Her face scrunched up, but she quickly suppressed it again.

"... Something to love."

"So... The late Lord Clausson wanted to support Frey all along?" As heart wrenching as Marius found her story, his conflicted feelings refused to go away. "But you discouraged him?"

Valdís nodded, eyes filling with remorse again.

"It was always me," she admitted, barely a whisper. "I didn't want Frey to experience the humiliation and harsh treatment I did while growing up, because I thought whatever harm suppressing it would cause, it wouldn't be as bad as that."

"I suppose your family was of a similar opinion?" Marius raised an eyebrow. "Making you hide your true self so you could marry into a nice family?"

Valdís laughed softly again, eyes turning towards the window.

"I... Was a duchess."

Marius gawked.

"Pardon?"

"My family was from Hrimrike, much like Claus', but mine actually lived there. A family of nobility who was just visiting Kerilia because of some old companionship between our fathers, and that's how we met." Valdís let out a weak exhale. "I never told Frey about that either."

"Oh, no you should never tell him about that." Marius couldn't help himself. "His outward ego is exhausting as it is, if he finds out he's nobility we'll never hear the end of it."

As a pleasant surprise, Valdís laughed through her nose.

"It wouldn't have mattered." Despite her brief amusement, her voice soon turned sombre again. "I resigned my title when I married Claus, and my family cut all ties with me. In the end, I suppose it was for the best. My brother was a more fitting heir to their wealth and status anyway, since he was... Normal."

It all kept piling on. Marius didn't know how to process her story all at once, but what he did know and felt stronger than anything was continuing frustration as the hypocrisy in the room grew.

"So you married into a... Somehow lower class?"

Valdís, however, was aware of it as well.

"The difference is my marriage didn't affect anyone but me." She shook her head. "Unlike how things are for Frey."

Marius blinked as they had somehow ended up where the conversation had begun again.

"What?"

"I do believe you would have been good for him, truly." Valdís had the nerve to sound comforting. "You seem kind, and understanding. Like a person who could make Frey happy, but... Unfortunately, it can't be."

"That is not where I thought this talk was headed," Marius protested. "I thought you were agreeing with me."

"I am agreeing with you." Valdís was adamant. "I think Frey is being unfairly treated, and from what I've heard and seen of you, I think your relationship would have had potential, and I wish I didn't have to act the way I do, but that doesn't matter."

"Well I think—"

"Society doesn't care what you think," Valdís interrupted him with a sterner voice. "And it doesn't care what I think, and it doesn't care what Frey thinks. It's a set pattern of rules, spoken and unspoken, and impossible to exist in unless we assimilate. We can't change a whole venomous system out of sheer will and affectionate feelings."

"That's..." Marius didn't know what to respond. He'd only seen glimpses of Frey's other life and as ridiculous as he found it, Frey was still trapped inside, even when trying to leave.

"I know it's unfair." Valdís' apologetic frown at least seemed genuine. "But this affects a whole town, filled with people who will suffer if Frey loses his position. It really is regrettable, but he needs to make that sacrifice."

"And would your husband agree with that?" Marius blurted out without thinking, and Valdís looked taken aback accordingly, but her eyes soon darkened, and Marius hurriedly continued. "I— I'm sorry. I didn't know him, so of course you would know... I mean, I've heard Frey talk about him, and... It just sounds like he would have supported Frey any way he could, even if it was inconvenient for his position."

The trembling in Valdís' hands had moved to her shoulders and Marius grimaced, noticing tears in her eyes as she averted them.

"Well..." Her voice was thick and breathless. "... Claus is not here anymore."

Marius poured the tea in silence with pursed lips. So he'd made Frey's mother cry. What a nice day he was having. What a nice time for Frey to not be there.

"Look, I... Apologise," he said as he placed the cup down in front of her. "I was out of line."

Valdís did not respond, but she picked up her cup and it was good enough for Marius. Not good enough for the tension to be lifted though, and Marius was not going to deal with that alone anymore.

"I, uh... Should probably see how Frey is doing." He gave her an awkward smile while backing away towards the door. "But... I'll be back in a bit."

"I should leave," Valdís began but Marius would not have it.

"No." He pointed at her. "Sit. Stay."

In retrospect, Marius acknowledged he could have chosen other words, and his face turned even more sheepish.

"That was rude, I'm sorry." He sucked in a breath. "But anyway, stay."

Then he hurried out of the room before Valdís could answer.