Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad to sleep in Frey's bed from the beginning. Their shared warmth under the covers was more than enough to keep the cold out, and Frey had often felt the heated room was too much anyway.

Marius had almost fallen asleep, previously flickering eyelids weighed down at last, and his interlocked grip with Frey's hand was losing strength. It figured, Frey supposed, since he rarely stayed up long after sundown, so he reached out his free hand to stroke his hair.

It was a near immediate result. Marius' eyelids fell shut, and Frey ended up the only one keeping their fingers linked.

"Good night," Frey whispered, still running his hand through his hair just in case, mind drifting off in the meantime. He may be more of a night person, but even he felt exhaustion creeping up on him. A lot had happened that evening. Big things. He still couldn't believe he'd actually managed a confession, and the terror of making that final decision regarding his torn life still chewed on his heart no matter how certain he felt about it.

Heat coloured his cheeks as the other big thing came to mind, and his hand wandered down over Marius' neck and shoulder.

Then Frey's gaze stopped, remembering the first big thing that had happened as he unthinkingly trailed his fingers along the scars on Marius' arm.

It was uncanny. Every time he watched the thin lines it was as though shrill, distant screams accompanied each one of them, and he turned his eyes to Marius' peacefully sleeping face again.

Except he wasn't asleep. He was awake, staring back at Frey, whose heart skipped.

"I—" He retracted his hand. "Sorry, I... I wasn't thinking."

"Why would you apologise for stroking my skin?" Marius raised an eyebrow, showing no hint of being uncomfortable. "It's nothing but nice."

"Yeah, but..." Frey wasn't sure whether to call attention to it or not. "... Your scars... I shouldn't—"

"It's just cat scratches," Marius interrupted him with a look of amusement. "Your unwillingness to have someone touch your scar is understandable given the cause, but mine are just... Ordinary scars, from a cat."

Perhaps it was Frey's tiredness, or at least a mental tiredness, but he couldn't keep hearing about it.

"Marius..." He ended up averting his eyes. "... I've already said you don't need to tell me anything, but... Please don't lie to me either."

Marius blinked.

"What?"

"If you don't want to talk about it, just say that. Or say nothing." Frey shook his head. "Don't lie."

The room fell into silence, and as Frey dared to glance at Marius from the corner of his eye, he noticed him staring up at the ceiling.

"Don't... Feel bad about it," Frey tried with a low voice. "But I'd feel better if you were honest with me and just set boundaries instead."

Marius didn't reply, still staring into nothing, but Frey couldn't bring himself to force an answer out of him either.

"I'm... Sorry." He stroked Marius' cheek before adjusting his body into his usual sleeping position. "Let's drop it. I was interrupting your sleep, so—"

"It wasn't a cave-in," Marius mumbled, barely so Frey could hear. "Not at first."

"No, Marius, you don't have to—"

"I know, but I want to." Marius squeezed Frey's hand harder, and Frey rolled over on the side to see him better, but Marius didn't face him back.

"We'd... Found new tunnels," he said, voice slow and fragile. "Smaller ones, deeper than we'd ever gone before. At first we thought someone must have been there before us, but... There were no signs of it."

He went quiet, struggling with a breath before continuing.

"I was almost at the entrance when I heard it. The beckoning, in a language I couldn't understand and words I could never repeat, but I knew it was telling me to come closer. To follow it."

Frey didn't know what to say. He could only listen at that point.

"The older workers were quick to understand and made us cover our ears, or I would never have made it out, but..." Marius' whole body trembled. "... I couldn't get him to come with me."

Frey's eyes lowered to their hands as Marius clenched them together even harder.

"And they almost got me too," Marius whispered, and Frey's eyes wandered up his arm again to the myriad of scars. "When I tried to pull him away from there, but then..."

He turned his head away, breaths growing shallower as he continued.

"... He was gone. Disappeared into a small hole into the tunnels. Too small for him. His limbs snapped, and..."

"You— You don't have to..." Frey tried, well aware of how gruesomely detailed he could recall his father's demise, and how he'd rather spare Marius the same kind of visions if he could.

"As soon as the others had forced me out of there, they began hacking away at the entrance, causing it to collapse and trap anything— or anyone— still in there. Making sure they couldn't get to us, and we couldn't get to them. They made us promise to tell everyone it was a cave-in so no one would try to open it up again, and people wouldn't panic about what was down there." Marius' grip still trembled, more than before. "But I could still hear them. I can still hear them. All the time, whenever things go quiet. Whenever I let my mind wander. Their song, the others' screams, my father's..."

His words failed him, and he took a moment to gather his composure again.

"... So I decided to keep thoughts away. To keep busy, and never stop moving, or talking. Throwing myself into work, and going out with friends, and even finding someone to fall for." His voice finally broke. "And I told myself that I couldn't stop to think about it, and I couldn't let myself cry, because... Once I cry, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

Frey couldn't fathom the idea. All the times he'd cried since his father's passing. The tension from suppressing all that would have killed him, but Marius was determined to handle it like that? Or rather, not handle it.

And Frey was supposed to be the emotionally constipated one.

"I've cried so, so many times," he confessed. "And it's not like the grief or memories go away, but... For a while, it feels a little better. So... If you feel the need to..."

"It won't change anything." Marius shook his head. "Even you are still struggling, and you've been able to cry for over a year."

Frey's eyes narrowed slightly, but he wouldn't give up just like that.

So he raised Marius' hand up to his cheek, placing it gently against his scar.

"I'm getting better," he whispered, leaning into the touch. "Just a little, but I'm moving forward day by day. I doubt I'll ever be rid of the grief or forget the things I've seen, but I'll grow around them."

Marius stared at his hand, fingers pressing against Frey's cheek as if he had to explore the texture now that he could finally touch it.

"That's..." He soon turned his eyes away. "... Great, of course, but... Maybe you're also stronger than me. Maybe you can move past it by letting your feelings out, but what if I can't? What if I'll be an inconsolable mess forever?"

"Then you can be an inconsolable mess with me," Frey offered. "I told you, I'll be here. So if you want to cry your eyes out forever, I'll take care of you."

"While that's kind of you, I don't really feel like spending the rest of my life crying." Marius smiled wryly. "So... I just think it's best if I don't."

Frey could have left it at that. He couldn't force Marius to cry. He just wanted him to feel better, and crying had been a big part of Frey's mourning period, so it seemed so obvious to him.

So he drew a breath, pinching his fingers together before slowly holding his hand up in front of Marius' face.

"There is nothing wrong with crying, Marius," he said with a gruff, somewhat lilting voice while pretending his hand was speaking. "It is a natural part of life."

It didn't take long for Marius' dumbstruck stare to turn into a reluctant laugh.

"You choose now of all times to do a voice? And what accent is that?"

"Verlandic, and don't make me regret it more than I already do." Frey opened his fingers slightly again to let his hand bite Marius' nose. "And don't get used to it."

Marius didn't hold on to his smile for long though, and while he patted Frey's hand before it retracted he let out a low sigh.

"I've held it in for so long." His voice lowered again. "After they caused the entrance to cave in, they told us never to tell anyone or it would cause a panic and other mines would be shut down. Or someone might be foolish enough to open it up to investigate, so... Even if I had wanted to talk to someone about it, I couldn't. I had to keep it in, so why not keep it all in?"

"Well, I know now." Frey moved up, slowly opening his arms. "So do with that what you will."

Marius hesitated, but eventually leaned in to rest his head against Frey's chest while the latter wrapped his arms around him.

"We lost so many," he whispered. "It wasn't just him. So many were taken, or left behind. I keep feeling regrets. Feel like— like why had I gotten out? Why not them? What made my life worth more than the ones lost?"

Frey remained silent, just stroking his hair while letting him continue.

"For a moment there— just before they took him— I wished they would take me as well." Marius' voice broke again, hands trembling as they closed around Frey's body. "Their voices made me... I didn't cover my ears when I was reaching for him, and... That's when they grabbed my arm, and the others had to pull me away from there while I struggled to get loose. I wanted to go with them, and I wanted to reach him. Either way, I didn't want to leave. Yet my life was saved? They risked their own lives by getting me out, and maybe... Maybe they could have gotten more of the others out if they hadn't gone back for me, so— so isn't it my fault too?"

"I think the 'what if's are endless in these situations," Frey mumbled, resting his chin against Marius' head. "'What if I'd paid more attention to what was going on with my father so I could have stopped it' or 'what if I'd forced him out of there before the blight got to him' or 'what if I'd been a better son and stayed in West Kerilia to help with managing the town', for instance. I could think of endless options... But I can never know if it would have made a difference."

Marius tilted his head up slightly.

"And... You're able to believe that?"

"I have to try."

A small crack in Marius' facade, and he slowly lowered his head again.

"I don't want him to be gone," he whispered into Frey's chest, shoulders trembling as his grip around him tightened. "I don't want him to be down there."

Frey swallowed, uncertain what to say. Even though he'd wished Marius would open up to him, perhaps he hadn't been ready for it. All he could think of was telling him how he related to his feelings, but would that be helpful? Would it just be Frey making it all about himself? Yet it's how he would expect people to sympathise, so would it be wrong?

One thing was for certain though; Marius was sad, and Frey would be there for him.

"I... May not have known him," he whispered. "But I imagine he would be so relieved you made it out, wouldn't he? So... Try to look at it that way. I know it's hard, but looking back at the person he was and how much he loved you and wanted you safe, maybe the guilt you're feeling could be a little easier to bear?"

A teardrop against Frey's skin, followed by a shaky breath as Marius pressed against his chest.

"Sorry," he mumbled, raising a hand to wipe his eyes but Frey was quicker.

"Don't be." He softly brushed his thumb over Marius' cheek. "I told you it's alright."

"You'll be soaked, should I actually be unable to stop."

Frey smiled, stroking his hand through Marius' hair again.

"Then I suppose I won't need a bath."

Marius laughed. A low, broken, and breathless kind of laugh, but a laugh all the same.

"I love you, Frey."

"I love you too, Marius."

It was strange. Frey had not expected the wave of relief washing through him as Marius cried. Almost like he was crying himself. The release of emotions seemed to fill the whole room, easing any tension from before and letting Frey hold him close for yet another timeless moment.

As it turned out, Marius was able to stop, at least for the night. Slowly but surely, he let Frey's arms and soothing heartbeats lull him to sleep, swollen eyes finally peaceful as his body relaxed into the embrace.

Frey kissed his forehead, turning his head to look out the window at the summer night sky, a bittersweet smile forming on his lips.

"For what it's worth... I think they'd be proud of us."