Of fucking course Shelob decided to take a shit right in the middle of the fucking road. No, not the terrifyingly huge tarantula from Lord of the Rings, but Frank's dog.
Though in this moment he wished it was the spider instead of the dog, despite his arachnophobia. Because seriously, he was about to fucking kill that little rat.

Don't take him wrong, Frank really likes dogs, especially this one. But he was about to die from embarrasment, because he had managed to do it right in front of his crush. Well, Frank didn't do anything. It was that dog that wasn't capable of holding its shit in for 3 more seconds so that they could pass Pete and his friends, but nooooo.

Frank was sure Shelob planned this, as if it was revenge for getting the worst name on the planet. He was 9, okay, and he had just watched Lord of The Rings, and was absolutely obsessed -still was- with it. His mother wouldn't let him watch it, but fuck it, he was 9, he was practically a grown-up, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to.

"Ew, gross, it shat!" Motherfucking Pete Wentz screamed, for all his friends to hear, making them laugh. Laugh at Frank and his shitting dog.

Yeah okay, Pete Wentz could be an asshole sometimes -... all the time-, but he was Frank's douche. Maybe he just had a thing for assholes? Like, there was this one time in middle school where he was head over heels with the guy who spilled milk all over him on purpose during lunch. To be honest that just made Frank like him even more. Maybe he had some weird milk fetish.

But he had to run, this was too much emabarrasment for a day. Well, more like a lifetime. When he finally rounded the corner, the laughter and chattering disappeared, but he didn't stop running. What if they came after him? No, he didn't want that to happen.

And so it happened, Frank got lost. Again. And it was dark, because his mom had forgotten to walk the dog earlier, so he had to do it now in the middle of the night. And you might think "Jesus Christ, how do you get lost in your own neighborhood", but Frank was kinda dumb, at least he thought so, and they kinda just moved in in the neighborhood, and Frank was definitely not an outside person. Plus, it was dark as balls outside, how do you expect him to see anything out there?

Somehow he ended up in some kind of alley. 16 year old Frank didn't really understand the dangers of walking alone in dark alleys late at night either. He didn't really understand the concept of danger either. To put it nicely, he was a naïve fucker. The place he originally came from was a little nice, quiet, sleepy town in God know's where, and he didn't really know a lot about rape and murder. You know, your typical 'we-bake-pies-for-each-other-every-weekend' neighborhood. But he was in Jersey now. He was destined to get into trouble by this rate.

And he did.

And danger came in form of a group of young adults. Frank had never seen anyone like them before, not that he could see much anyway, because New Jersey didn't prioritize their money on street lights, aparently, but they were still quite the sight. Some of them had their hair up in spikes that shot everywhere up into the air, and others looked like they hadn't cleaned nor cut their hair in about 12 years. Or maybe like they just took a shower, it wasn't easy to tell. Holey jeans and t-shirts and jackets, people smoking something and playing loud music from an iPod, some of them yelling out the lyrics along to the song, others just fucking around.

Frank wasn't really used to experiencing fear, but he knew for sure that these people intimidated him, and they were clearly sending out a stay-the-fuck-away vibe, but he kept walking straight in their direction. It was too late to turn anyway. He was determined, he was going to get through the alley alive. Hopefully.

But things don't always turn out the way you plan.

"What the fuck? No I'm not fucking going to, he's like 12, come on, pick someone else."

"Gerard, woman up, you're the one who picked dare for God's sake, Jesus Christ."

"Wow, when did you suddenly go all Christian? You're gonna become a priest now? Because, Lyn-z, I'm not gonna fuck you while you're wearing a collar."

Frank knew they were talking about him, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to not realize, which, okay, he was, but still. And this guy is being pushed out of the group of scary looking teens, towards him, the same girl, Lyn-z apparently, yelling "Yeah, like I'd ever let you fuck me anyway" after the guy who had been pushed towards him. The dude just grinning.

"Hey lil man, want to try this cigarette?" The stranger was all up in Frank's personal space by now, what was it name again? Oh yeah, Gerard. Gerard's pace was kind of wonky.

Frank shook his head, his mother has told him several times not to accept stuff from strangers before.

"Hey, look he has a cute dog with him, I want to pet it!"

Gerard was definitely drunk, not that Frank really noticed, he wasn't used to seeing drunk people.

"Leave the kid alone, Gerard, I don't care what Lyn-z says" Some tall guy with broccoli hair walked over, trying to tug at Gerard's arm, but he was already on his way down to pet the dog and Frank didn't really know what the heck to do.

"Fuck off, I have to pet this cute ass dog"

"Stop you're scaring them both with your ugly face"

Gerard jumped up with a grin plastered on his face, the cigarette he was previously holding dangerously close to Shelob's paw.

"I know you love my ugly face, Ray" he humped his hip into his friend's hip. Even though it hit Ray's leg cause Ray was really fucking tall and Gerard certainly lower.

Frank was still standing there, just hoping they would leave and stop blocking the way. He just wanted to go home and sleep, dear God.

That's when Gerard noticed Frank's shirt.

"One Direction?!" He stared at the sweater in disgust, "Ew, gross, don't let it touch me"

And that's the story of how Frank was harrased in public for putting on the first jumper he found in his closet, because he did not like One Direction, no, not at all, and he certainly did not have a celebrity crush on Louis Tomlinson, nono.

Gerard grabbed the shoulder of Frank's jumper, Ray gave up trying to control his drunk buddy, and Frank was pulled over to the group of punks.

"Listen kid, let me show you some real music" Gerard grabbed the iPod resting on a trashcan, ignoring the sniggers from the others, "This is the almighty Led Zeppelin, may they rest in peace, God of awesome guitar riffs"

The song playing had a lot of guitars and drums playing, and Frank had to admit that he had a thing for rad guitar riffs.

"Oh My God, if you're gonna show the kid Led Zep, you can't play him Moby Dick" a girl with blue, shaved hair snorted out, which made Gerard giggle "hah, dick"

"I'm not a kid, I'm 16" Frank frowned, making everybody turn to him, clearly surprised.

"The kid can talk!" Gerard gasped.

Another song started playing and he clasped a hand over Frank's mouth, "Shush, listen, this is trashmetal, Cyco Vision by Suicidal Tendencies. Isn't it beautiful?"

No, Frank couldn't say it was beautiful at all. There was too much yelling and sharp guitars and loud bass. It made his ears bleed. How could anyone find this enjoyable? Like, no offense, but kudos to you.

"I-I have to go..." Frank whispered, hoping someone would hear him.

Everyone cooed, and someone wiped a fake tear, muttering "he's too adorable".

As Frank started walking away with Shelob jogging beside him, he could hear someone yell after him, "Come back tomorrow and I'll show you some real music!"

--

you know what's really smart to do when you're procastinating a fic? starting another one!!1!!1!1

i felt like yall deserved a happy/funny/slight crack fic in the middle of the sadness of mirrorball.

NB, this fic is not gonna go how you think it is, but i aint gon spoil anything yet.
if you think it seems shitty rn pls bear with me.

i finished this while at a cabin with my marchingband (there are these annoying ass girls who just randomly walked into my room and was like "ooh cool music" cause i was listening to led zep and now they're here dancing and i just pls leave me alone) oN MY PHONE WITH SHITTY ASS INTERNET. im not joking it took me over an hour to send a dm on twitter and now i cant check my notifs the wheel is just spinning. probs cant upload this either but i can try.

oki das all pece luv zoo