In all the seventeen years of my life I have had to learn how to walk, talk, behave, and over all be an elegant young lady.

When you belong to a wealthy family in charge of one of the world's leading sellers of cosmetics you have to be absolutely perfect.

When you walk your hips have to sway just enough to catch attention but not enough to make you stumble over your high heels.

Gorgeous long hair is a must but you can't have any hair anywhere else on your body.

Your back must always be kept straight and your chin held high to show off a long and slender neck. Never ever slouch.

Your makeup must match your designer outfit and visa versa.

And most importantly you must be kind and well mannered like a proper young heiress should.

In this sense I am a perfect young lady.

Exept for one teeny tiny, itsy bitsy little thing. Really, it's just a minor detail.

I'm a guy.

A straight guy.

Rei Hamasaki at your service; "heiress" to the Hamasaki Cosmetic Company.

With a sigh I tightened my grip on my shoulder bag and looked down at my new school schedule for the hundredth time that morning.

Lobelia Girls' Academy, the famous all girls school, was where I was to start my second year of high school.

Until now I had never gone to school, having always been home schooled, but after years of begging my mother she finally caved on the condition that I had to attend an all girls academy.

Well, it's not like I only just started crossdresssing to get into the school. No, I've been wearing dresses for as far back as I can remember.

Mother wanted a girl, you see, and since she became too sick after she had me (and adoption was "out of the question") she did everything in her power short of a sex change operation to turn me into her perfect little girl.

I don't even think the servants at our manor know that I'm a boy...

I looked up and around at the scenery and scowled slightly.

Where was this school?

As I looked around, I felt someone bump into my chest at a full-on run.

We both toppled to the ground and I felt my long black hair loosen from its high ponytail.

"Ah, sorry!" A voice somewhat like mine (in the sense that I couldn't tell if it was male or female) shouted.

I looked up to see a... boy? His shaggy brown hair was messed up and he wore an extremely old, baggy, and out of style brown sweater over black slacks and frumpy black shoes.

Our similar looking shoulder bags had landed in a heap and I grabbed the one I thought was mine as the boy shuffled around on the ground.

I realized after a few moments that he was looking for a pair of giant coke-bottle thick glasses that lay next to my heels.

"Are these yours?" I asked politely, handing them to the blinded boy.

He smiled and nodded, then slipped them onto his face and looked up at me for the first time with large brown eyes.

I felt my face flush slightly. He looked like a really dorky girl. A really cute dorky girl.

Maybe I wasn't as straight as I thought...

I almost smacked myself for that.

The boy gracelessly pulled himself up and grabbed his bag, that smile still on his face.

"Sorry about that, miss!" He said with a chuckle, then held out his hand. "I'm Haruhi Fujioka!"

I smiled politely and tucked my now loose hair behind my ear before shaking his hand. "Rei Hamasaki."

At my full height I was about a foot taller than the boy, with me being six feet tall in heels.

Haruhi looked at my maroon and white sailor uniform and her eyes widened. "Oh, you're going to Lobelia."

I chuckled and began to pull my hair back up. "Yeah, it's my first day actually."

Haruhi's grin widened. "Oh cool, it's my second day at Ouran Private Academy. And, um, Hamasaki-san, not to be rude or anything, but you're going the wrong way. Lobelia is down that street."

He pointed to the road opposite the one we were on and I groaned in frustrated relief.

"Thank you, Fujioka-san." I sighed with a wave, already heading to the school. "I'll see you around, I guess?"

Haruhi smiled and waved back, his baggy sleeve slung down his forearm. "Sure!"

I felt my face flush once again and I turned around quickly, repremanding myself severely as I made my way to the white church-like school.

$×$×$×$

School is awful.

Only half the day has gone by and I can already tell that I'm going to hate Lobelia Girls' Academy.

First of all, I'm pretty sure every girl in this school is a lesbian.

I mean, hey, far be it from me to judge, but seriously it's a little excessive. And they're not even being lovey-dovey with each other, they're all just screaming about some sort of club or something that this school has.

Other than that the morning classes seem relatively easy and the food I brought from home looked good this morning. I guess now all I really want to do is find a quiet place to eat and relax before jumping back into all the girlish-craziness.

With a sigh I found myself walking towards the school's theater section.

It seemed quiet enough... Maybe I'll find a good place to eat.

One room caught my attention and I opened the door only to have a flurry of heavily perfumed flower petals bombard and overwhelm me.

I coughed at the annoying scent and waved an arm to try and dissipate the stupid petals, when a voice spoke up from inside the room.

"Welcome, beautiful young maiden, to the one and only Zuka Club!"

I looked and saw three girls in obsurd costumes and posed in the center of the room. It seamed like the middle one, a boyish looking brunette, was the one who had spoken up.

"Ah, are you the new girl?" The blonde girl to the left gasped.

The middle one ran forward at that and grasped my hand. Surprisingly she was as tall as I was. "You must be new, for I would never forget the face of a beautiful and pure maiden such as yourself." She said in a suave voice, then kissed the back of my knuckles.

I shuddered at the display and felt goosebumps spread across my skin.

What the fuck is wrong with this school?! With these girls?!

I tore my hand back and backed up as fast as I could. "Sorry, wrong room!" I managed to shout as I ran away.

I ran all the way outside of the school and to the front gardens before slowing to a stop and plopping down onto the edge of a fountain.

With a groan I reached into my bag for the inhaler and tea thermos I packed that morning only to come up empty.

Furrowing my plucked brows I looked into the bag only to find that my inhaler was missing. Well, it's not like I was having a major asthma attack, or anything, but I was sure I packed it... Actually, the lunch in there didn't even look like mine. Though it seemed fairly girlish and quaint, I was sure that I had packed more-

Oh no.

I looked through a few of the pockets and found what appeared to be a spare set of giant, coke-bottle thick glasses and a wallet.

Opening said wallet and peering at the ID inside only confirmed my suspicions.

'Name: Fujioka, Haruhi. Birth date: February 4th. Blood type: O. Age: 15yo...'

I did a double take, then a triple take.

'Gender: Female.'

So she really was just a really cute dorky girl! Thank god!

With newfound determination, I jumped to my feet and gripped Haruhi's bag tightly.

Now, where was Ouran Private Academy again...?