Although it's typically best to stay emotionless and cold hearted when practicing bitchcraft, sometimes it may work in your favor to victimize yourself to gain both attention and sympathy.  

What is the best and easiest way to make someone feel like shit? Turn on the waterworks.

Now, you don't want to look like a constipated hyena struggling to take a massive dump. You want your tears to not only look genuine, but beautiful as well.

To achieve this, you must practice in the mirror for a few minutes a day.

Stare intensely at yourself and try your best not to blink. Think of a devastating song that reminds you of a dark time in your past and mentally play the tune in your head. Eventually you'll feel your eyes begin to water.

With enough practice, you'll achieve the perfect bawl to earn anybody's sympathy vote. This cry will automatically make others side with you, and could possible assist you in winning many feuds and turning other bitches against each other.

Can you cry on command?