T: "What are you doing!?"
K: "Skipping the line."
T: "Yes, I'm aware! That's my concern. The guard is gonna get pissed and tell us to go back and all these rich bitches are gonna beat you with their Birkins."
K: "...Oh my god! I rented the room out, so no one is getting in tonight, Honey."
Kiwi clenched his teeth; fake smiling at the people in line, looking at us with disgusted faces.

     It was my birthday weekend/month and we had taken a trip to New York for the occasion. I begged to go to The Rainbow Room, because it was always either booked or packed every other time we came.
T: "I knew this was some kinda slickery. I had a feeling in my big toe all day. Didn't I tell you this morning my big toe had that feeling where I know you're hiding something? How the hell did you manage this?"
K: "Whatever my princess wants, she gets. Don't question my ways. Plus, I was sworn to secrecy."
T: "Are you in the mob? Is that what you're doing when you say you're going to get the mail?"
K: "It was nothing illegal...just maybe cost 2 years of groceries, so we'll have to apply for Feed the Children."

The guard unhinged the red velvet rope for us to get through, as he gave Kiwi a nod.
We proceeded down the hall of elevators, as I saw a familiar face pop their head out from behind a corner.
T: "Ally!?"
K: "Hey, sweetheart. We all good?"
A: "We good, yo."
T: "What is going on?"

  Ally ran down the hall, dressed in a rather form-fitting sequined rose gold dress. She grabbed my hand, escorting me the rest of the way and putting on a pretty believable French accent.
A: "Madame, may I present to you...your birthday party."

  
   The whole room was lit in a dim purple light as everyone clapped when I walked in, like I was hot shit. They got the memo.
Pen ran over, in a matching gold dress to Ally, and gave me a hug; actually making me cry. I knew how hard it was for her to get out of work and come here. She had gone to school to become massage therapist of the world and was the talk of the town for her skills, so I knew it was no small feat. I looked around the room and saw my whole famsquad in attendance.

    The restaurant was on the top floor of the NBC building, so I could see the entire city shining through the windows, as Jack leaned against the Chrysler building; sipping Pierre water from a wine glass.  I felt Kiwi come up behind me and plant a kiss on my cheek.
T: "You know I hate parties! Math!"
K: "Then why do you look so happy? Come on, I obeyed the rule for five years. Just one party won't kill you. Happy Birthday, Princess. I love you."
T: "I love you too; I-"
P: "-Ok! You can exchange sentiments later! They got margaritas with 24 karat gold leafing on top, dude. Lets get fucked on precious metals."
She handed me a glass of champagne to kick off the evening and held up her flute for a toast.
P: "Champagne for my real friends..."
T: "Real pain for my sham friends."
Clink.

     I don't know how many gold margaritas later but I was feeling them. The waiters kept bringing out food and I kept eating but none of it was a match for the tequila. I noticed my mom whispering something to Kiwi. His face got serious as he walked over to a waiter, whispering to them and nodding toward the kitchen. The waiter shook his head like he understood whatever direction he was given and disappeared through the kitchen doors.

D: "Hey, Taylor!"
I looked over at Daddy Dan, almost seeing two of him, as my stomach lurched from the heat of the liquor.
He raised a bottle of sparkling water at me, as he didn't drink, and made a menacing face.
D: "Get ready, we're all gonna sing real loud! Isn't that your favorite?"
T: "No! No one is singing!"
I heard my Aunt Michelle and mom whoop in unison, as they started yelling that they hadn't sang to me since I was two and just this once and all that bullshit. I told you how much I hate that happy birthday song. It's literally first on my list of things I hate, which I update annually, to keep up with trends. It even beat out small children, taxes, school buses, toilet paper ripping mid-use and that sick feeling you get when you look in the mirror and think "Did I look like this all day?"

     Kiwi ran over to Michelle and flung an arm around her, making a worried face.
K: "Hey, how 'bout we don't, so we don't make her angry and everything goes as planned."
Her and my mom both made faces like they had forgotten something and were almost frightened. Michelle whispered something to him and apologized.

  
     Two waiters emerged from the kitchen: one holding a cake shaped like an adorable unicorn head and the other passing out sparklers and pouches of confetti. I glanced at Kiwi, watching him make a confused face and try to get the waiters attention. The guy didn't see him and ran back through the kitchen doors. Kiwi bolted after him in a hot pursuit, but I was too consumed with the shiny sparklers and everyone crowding around me to admire the cake.
I looked up at my mom for her approval, even though I was technically an adult.
T: "Can we just cut the cake? You're not singing, so unless someone's giving a speech-"
M: "-Why don't we wait for Kiwi..."
P: "Too late!"
I turned to see Pen had already cut a slice out of the cake and put it on one of the plates the waiter had brought out.
M: "Pen! You better hide that before he sees it! You're a little fucker; no one told you to cut that."
Pen laughed as my mother glared at her; assuming it was their usual friendly banter.

    Everyone's sparklers were dimming, so as soon as Kiwi was spotted, Michelle yelled out for him to join us; raising her glass of champagne. The whole room followed her lead; raising they're glasses, shouting out happy birthday wishes and tossing confetti. Ally ran over to Kiwi in a frenzy. They both wore the same horrified expressions as they conversed back and forth. I had no clue what could be so horrible on my birthday. I was alive, what the fuck else did they want in life besides oxygen and possibly water when it's in season.
A: "Where is it!? I thought it was supposed to be on the unicorn's horn?"
T: "FUCK!"
K: "...Found it."

    Everyone turned to look at me. Pen had shoved the prematurely cut piece of cake in my mouth and I'd bitten into something hard that felt like it possibly cracked a molar and cut a deep gash into my gums.
I grabbed a napkin to catch the blood that was seeping from my mouth and spit out whatever had done the damage.
I was almost in tears from the pain, as I realized there was a large diamond ring buried in the slimy mass of cake I now held in my hand, and a frantic looking Kiwi had appeared at my side.
I looked up at him like Flick from A Christmas Story, when everyone leaves him on the playground, stuck to the pole.
K: "Will you marry me?"

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