Trigger warning: I'm going to be discussing age gaps, statutory rape, abuse, manipulation, and power imbalances. If any of that harms your mental health, then please feel free to click off and find something more light-hearted.

Also, sorry if this chapter is less structured and more rambly than my others. My chronic pain condition has been kicking my ass lately and I'm very tired. I did my best to back up my arguments, but if you feel like I should clarify something, let me know.

I got asked by ChangMubs to address another concerning pattern in fanfics that goes along with the previous topics I've addressed. That being age gaps in relationships, specifically when one party is a minor, and why they're harmful.

I think the best way to do this is to talk about power imbalances and why they're harmful. I'll start with less extreme examples, but I will be bringing up more harmful ones as we go along.

Even smaller, more common power imbalances can have large effects on a relationship. It's been found that, in the cases where one partner is more dominant and exerts control over the other, it tends to foster more negative behaviors and poor communication, such as coercion, aggression, and violence. Even in relationships without any violence at all, it can be harder for one partner to be open about their feelings and needs to the other. Research from the University of Auckland shows that those "who have low relationship power face greater difficulties in getting their relational needs and desires met." Meanwhile, partners who have more power "are less motivated to sacrifice and support their partner."

According to a study from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, this can also lead to stronger levels of devotion in the partner with less power, keeping them trapped in an unhealthy relationship. Oxytocin, a hormone that helps us bond with others and feel happier, can be released in times of stress—specifically in romantic situations where one person is more invested than the other. According to the study's authors, oxytocin might be triggered in people who feel their partners are losing interest as a way to save or "take care" of the relationship.

As you can see, these come together to form a pretty clear recipe for domestic abuse and toxic, controlling relationships. There's so much evidence even beyond what I've provided as to why power imbalances in relationships are toxic. The more extreme the imbalance, the more likely it is that the relationship is or will become unhealthy.

In the case of societal power imbalances, such as relationships between teachers and students or bosses and employees, that power imbalance is elevated even more. Now, one partner has something over the other partner, whether that's grades or their livelihood. In these scenarios, there's an incentive for the partner with less power to give in to the other partner's wishes and do what they want. It's much harder to know whether consent given in these circumstances is done out of fear of punishment. It's also much harder to tell if the person with less power is staying in the relationship because they want to or because they're afraid of what will happen if they leave.

That's not to say you can't have healthy relationships under these circumstances, but it is significantly harder and requires experience and healthy communication to navigate.

But what does all of this have to do with age gap relationships? Quite a lot, actually.

I think we can all agree that teenagers are less mature and experienced than adults. There's a reason we have things like age of consent laws and even age limits for things like drinking, driving, and voting. The brain's decision-making center is not fully developed until around your mid-twenties, meaning that the decisions made by teenagers will be more impaired.

This isn't just my opinion, either, it's a fact. Teens make more of their decisions using the amygdala, which means they are less likely to think through the consequences of actions and more likely to react on emotion and impulse.

That's not to say that teens can't make good decisions or are incapable of being held responsible for their actions. It just means that teens, especially younger teens, are more likely to find themselves in dangerous situations or situations they haven't fully thought through because their brains aren't fully developed.

This is where power imbalances come back into play. The older you are, the more developed your brain is, and that lends itself to better decision-making and less impulsive behavior. You also get more experience as you age. This means you have a power imbalance over those younger than you.

This is a big reason why age gap relationships are so frowned upon when the people involved are in their teens and early 20s but are much less frowned upon when both parties are in or past their mid-20s. That power imbalance of both experience and decision-making capacity is far smaller past that point and therefore those relationships are less likely to be toxic.

Coercion and abuse are more likely in relationships when there is a large age gap and one party is a teenager. Approximately 1 in 5 teens who have a partner that is 3 or more years older than them report that their first sexual encounter was unwanted. That's a fifth of those relationships where no proper consent occurred, which is horrific.

Despite the high rates of abuse and manipulation, these relationships are normalized to the extreme on sites like this, and that is absolutely terrifying. My arguments about how the perpetuation of rape culture harms survivors in the first chapter apply here as well. There are too many stories that involve an adult and a minor becoming romantically involved on this site, and their prevalence harms the teenagers that make up a large portion of Wattpad's user base.

Think twice before you include stuff like this in your stories, and stop using defenses that minimize just how much harm this type of stuff can cause.