I don't want a lot for Christmas, 
There is just one thing I need. 
I don't care about the presents 
Underneath the Christmas tree. 
I just want you for my own, 
More than you could ever know 
Make my wish come true; 
All I want for Christmas is you

~Mariah Carey

I awoke on Christmas morning with an excitement in my heart that I can't remember ever feeling. Four o'clock, I was wide awake and on my way to the bathroom for a shower. By 4:25, I was presentable, in a crimson button-down and black tie, my slacks ironed to perfection and shoes impeccably shined. At 4:30 I made my way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and begin preparing breakfast. I could see all of my sleeping friends in the living room as I stood in front of the stove scrambling eggs. Eddy was the first to rise, stumbling to the hall closet to grab his overnight bag. From there, his footsteps shuffled up the stairs and down the hall until I eventually heard the shower running. It was 5 a.m. when Ed awoke, grabbing a plastic bag from the closet and heading to the downstairs bathroom. I flipped bacon contently as the sounds of snoring and the grease popping in the skillet filled my ears. All of my friends would be awake in a matter of hours, going off to their own homes and celebrating Christmas with their own families. And you will just be tagging along, riding the coattails of another family's celebration. I shook my head, clearing away the spiteful and intrusive thoughts. No, Ed and Eddy's families are mine as well, I silently reminded myself. And...so is Kevin's. I smiled at the thought. To think, Christmas with his family could one day become my tradition, my routine. It made my heart swell with joy. My daydreams were soon disrupted as Ed and Eddy came into the kitchen, Ed fumbling with his belt. He looked nice in his green and white striped polo and khakis. His hair was neatly brushed, and his facial hair was trimmed. He looked every bit the part of a nice young boy ready for church. Eddy, on the otherhand, looked very plain. Not to say he didn't look well, he just wasn't as flashy as he usually tends to be. His royal blue button-down was tucked into a pair of black slacks, with a silver tie to be the finishing touch on his outfit. His hair was slicked back, no longer in its usual faux-hawk. He looked so mature. "Good morning gentlemen. Eat up quick, or we'll be late to mass," I said softly as I sipped at my coffee and carefully nibbled on some bacon. Eddy's phone played a short sound like a ringing bell, and he quickly pulled it out of his pocket to check it. Simultaneously stuffing his face and texting, he swallowed before acknowledging us. "Ma said they're leaving now," he murmured. I nodded as I got up to take my dishes to the sink. After cleaning them, I grabbed a PostIt and a pen from their designated spots on the counter and began to scribble a quick note.

Dearest Kevin,
If you awaken before my return, do not fret. I went to Christmas Mass with Ed and Eddy. Breakfast is in the kitchen. If you would kindly escort everyone out and lock the door on your way out afterwards, I would greatly appreciate it.

All my Love,
Eddward

P.S. There is a spare key located in the drawer of the stand beside the front door.

"Jesus, Sockhead. How did you fit that on a sticky note? You damn near wrote him a whole letter," Eddy sighed in annoyance, tapping his foot impatiently. I bit my lip, looking around for somewhere to put it that he would see. Eddy snatched the note from me and stomped out of the kitchen. I followed after him and hissed, "Eddy, g-"

Before I could say anymore, he slapped it right on Kevin's forehead. My gorgeous boyfriend continued to sleep soundly, snoring every so often. "There, now he'll definitely see it," he grumbled, grabbing my wrist and yanking me out the door. We shuffled uncomfortably in the cold as we waited for the garage door to open. My 15th birthday present, and the bane of my existence, was parked beyond that door in all of its sleek, deadly glory. Eddy whistled low at the black Mustang and snatched the keys from me. "If you drive, we won't get there 'til the evening service," he said. I shrugged, pulling the seat forward so Ed could climb in back. "I implore you two, please wear your seat belts. It will make me feel safer," I announced as I got into the front passenger's seat and buckled in myself. He backed out of the driveway quite safely, but once we hit the road it was fair game. He took off down the street, grinning like the devil that he is. I gripped the door handle with one hand, clutching my seat belt with the other. "Eddy, for the love of all that is holy and sanctified, slow down!!" I shrieked. He let out a gleeful laugh, stepping down harder on the gas pedal. The neighborhood flew by in a blur as we made it to the highway. "Eddy, the last thing I want is to get pulled over on Christmas Day! Slow down, or so help me, I will dive out of this vehicle," I threatened. He slowed down, only the slightest bit. "Eddy, isn't that your parents' car?" Ed piped up from the back seat, pointing at a sport utility vehicle not too far ahead of us, with several profane bumper stickers, such as, "If you're gonna ride my ass, at least buy me dinner first," and (my personal favorite), "I do not spew profanities, I enunciate them clearly like a fucking lady." Eddy sped up and got into the right lane, passing them with a smirk as he switched back to the left lane. "Yupp, that was them," he said, slowing and getting into the next turning lane. The large silver vehicle pulled up behind us, honking once. A glance in the rear view mirror revealed Mr. McGee smiling and sticking his middle finger out of the passenger window. Eddy responded in likeness, letting out a small chuckle. We crossed the opposite side of the highway, turning down a narrow street. Within the next minute, we were pulling into the sparse parking lot of the large Roman Catholic church. This place always caught me off guard, leaving me breathless at its high arcs and stained glass windows, every inch of the looming structure telling a story.

We got out just as Eddy's parents parked beside us. "Good morning Mr. and Mrs. McGee, and Merry Christmas to you both," I said with a polite smile as I quickly snatched the keys from Eddy. "Merry Christmas, Double D. Oh, and you too Ed!" Eddy's mother laughed as he hugged her. We walked into the church in a small huddle to shield from the biting cold. Ed, Eddy, and I walked closely behind Eddy's parents, our shoes crunching against the little bit of snow dusting across the parking lot. As more people arrived and the clock struck six, church bells rang throughout the neighborhood. Merry Christmas, I sighed mentally, dipping my fingers in the bowl of water near the door to the sanctuary and crossing myself silently. The pews were mostly empty, other people filing in behind us. Mr. and Mrs. McGee slid into a pew in the back, the three of us following suit. As hymns filled the large hall, I bowed my head and prayed to a god I wasn't even sure I believed in. I prayed for love and acceptance from Kevin's family that I would meet later today; I prayed for inner peace and resolution with my own estranged family; the problem with religion, or lack thereof, was not hope. In hope, I was abundant. It was faith that I was without. Then again, how does one have faith in the unknown, the intangible?

It was 8 a.m. when we left the church. "You boys come on by the house and open your presents," Mrs. McGee shouted as she made her way to the car. "Yes ma'am!" we responded in unison. I received a childish pout from Eddy as I climbed into the driver's seat. "You almost killed us on the way here!" I scolded as he got into the passenger's seat. "Live a little, Sockhead," he snorted. "Double D cannot live; he's an old, old man inside," Ed piped up from the back seat. My friends lost themselves in laughter as I just shook my head, smiling the slightest bit. I'm so lucky to have these goofballs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mrs. H, this is great!" Eddy exclaimed as he piled his plate up with food. "Oh, thank you, Eddy, I- Ed, put your cousin Lionel down! Sarah, stop hitting Taylor!" Ed's mother was a wreck. A smiling, frustrated wreck. Chasing child after child down to get them into the kitchen to eat was a magnificent feat on its own, but she was also wrangling in the adults. "Oscar, get in here and get your kids before I toss 'em out! Deborah, get Lauren off of the phone! James, sweetheart, can you please bring in some folding chairs from the garage?" Ed's large father stood with a grunt, towering over even the other men in the room. "Yes, Tammy," he sighed. I quietly got up, helping Mrs. Hill hand out plates. "Oh, Double D, you're such a doll! You don't have to help," she insisted, trying to shoo me away. "No Mrs. Hill, it would be my pleasure to assist you. You have enough to do already," I murmured politely, gently grabbing her shoulders and steering her to the nearest chair. "Ass kisser," Eddy mouthed, to which I responded by sticking my tongue out at him. Ed's cousins swarmed the counters, greedily reaching for plates. "Hold on, hold on, there's plenty for everyone," I laughed, handing out plates one at a time. Uncles and aunts were next, people I had known my entire childhood yet who were still so foreign to me.

"Ronny, I heard you opened up a new business down in Rainier, think I could come intern for the summer?" Eddy called across the table as Ed's uncle took a seat next to his sister Tammy. Ronny snorted, taking a chunk out of his slice of ham. "What could you offer my company, young'in?" Eddy popped his collar with a cocky smile. "I got skills, old man." Laughter roared from the older man as he slapped Eddy's shoulder affectionately. "You got spunk, kid. Tell you what, I'll think about it," he conceded. I had just sat down before I was barraged with questions. "So what are you up to these days, Double D?"

"Are you still making those little gadgets and gizmos?"

"Where are you planning to go for college?"

"How are your parents?"

Dinner consisted of vociferous debates, raunchy jokes us children were apparently deemed old enough to hear, incredible tales of travels and experiences, and endless questions about what we "young'ins" planned to do with our futures. It was wonderful, but exhausting. I left the Hill household a mere hour later with a telescope (my present from Ed's parents) under my arm, a plate of leftovers Sarah insisted I take, and an exasperated sigh. So much energy and effort wasted for just one day of the year, it was ridiculous. I pulled out my phone, finding I had four missed messages from Kevin.

From: Citrouille 💛
To: Me
7:02 A.M.
Hey babe, I just woke up. Thanks for breakfast...and the note. Merry Christmas!

From: Citrouille 💛
To: Me
10:15 A.M.
Hey, I know you might be busy but I'm sooooo bored. The only people here are my Aunt Chelsea and my cousin Naomi. She keeps touching all of my stuff and I don't like it! :(

From: Citrouille 💛
To: Me
12:48 P.M.
BABBYYYYYYY MY COUSINS KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU! THEY THINK I'M MAKING YOU UP!! HELLLLLLLP!

From: Citrouille 💛
To: Me
3:22 P.M.
I love you so much, please hurry up and get here, I miss your cute face.

I laughed softly, trudging carefully through the snow to my house as I typed a reply.

To: Citrouille 💛
From: Me
4:25 P.M.
Sorry I have missed your messages, Kevin. Ed and Eddy's families were quite wild and raucous today. I had fun though, and I will see you at 8 o'clock sharp, as you yourself said that is when I should arrive. I love you. 😘

Almost immediately after pressing send, I received a response.

From: Citrouille 💛
To: Me
4:26 P.M.
OMG A RESPONSE! You definitely need to come over asap. Mom told me to tell you 8 bc she thought that's when dinner would be done, but it'll be done in like an hour. She's been up since 4am cooking and everyone is excited to meet you. You've gotta come now! Pleeeeeeaaase?

To: Citrouille 💛
From: Me
4:30 P.M.
How could I possibly say no to you? I'll see you in five minutes.

I entered my dark and lonely house, setting the telescope on the coffee table, and heading to the kitchen to put away my plate. I hardly had room or the will to eat anymore, but I didn't want to be rude. I took the stairs two at a time, heading to my room and quickly changing out of my now-wrinkled dress shirt into a white button-down and a crimson cardigan. Fixing my hair and my beanie quickly in the mirror on my door, I found myself nagging at...well, myself. Will they like me? Will they like me? Will they like me? I swallowed the lump in my throat and flashed an uneasy smile at my reflection before dashing out the door once again. I grabbed a coat on my way out of the house, knowing Kevin would surely fuss if he knew I had gone around all day without one. It wasn't even that cold out, the air still and calm, the fading rays of sun beating down on the snow as if it would melt it away in an instant. I made my way across the street, hesitating at the front door. I raised my hand to knock, but as luck would have it, Kevin swung the door open before I even had the chance.

"Babe!" he grinned, and all anxiety and fear melted away instantly. He wrapped me up in his arms, squeezing me rather tightly. "Well, hello to you, too," I chuckled. He kissed me quickly, his expression revealing nothing but joy and utter relief. "You have no idea how much I've missed you today," he sighed, letting go of me in favor of taking my hand. He pulled me into the house quickly, shutting the door behind us. "Double D's here, Ma! You can tell Naomi and Ross that he's real!" Kevin shouted. I laughed nervously as two red-headed children ran up to me eagerly. "Oooh, he's handsome!" the little girl said, her crystal blue eyes alight with awe. "You're not really his boyfriend," the boy scoffed. "Kevin's not that lucky." I laughed as Kevin shifted uncomfortably, his face brighter than his hair. "You two flatter me, but I am indeed Kevin's boyfriend. My name is Eddward. You may call me Double D or Edd if you wish," I introduced myself, kneeling to their level and offering my hand. Naomi shook it eagerly, flashing her own gap-toothed smile, as she was missing two front teeth. Ross shook my hand also, looking quite disappointed that I was not a figment of his cousin's imagination. "Wanna meet everybody else?" Naomi asked, bouncing up and down. "That sounds lovely," I responded, letting her drag me through the living room. A copper-haired woman sat on the end of the couch watching the New York Christmas parade with boredom while an ancient man snored away in the recliner. "That's my Aunt Maggie and Grandpa Fynn," Kevin whispered as Naomi drug me to the kitchen. Three people around my age sat at the table, watching the men play cards. They all had wheat-blonde hair, each with brown eyes. "Those are the triplets: Thomas, Tabitha, and Tyler." All three looked up immediately. "YOU are Kevin's boyfriend?" Tabitha giggled. "Oh wow, where did he find such a cutie?" I blushed, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. Kevin's mom gave the woman beside her a disapproving glare. The woman was gorgeous, looking no older than 30 with pale blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She glanced over her shoulder at Tabitha. "Now now, don't embarrass the poor boy." Naomi pointed at the woman on the opposite side of Mrs. Barr, with dark red hair, piercing emerald eyes, and freckles all over. "That's my Mama, Chelsea. And the triplets' mama is Aunt Rae," Naomi said. "Ross's mama is Maggie, she's the one who was in the living room," Naomi explained. The ladies waved politely before turning their attention back to preparing the meal. The men at the table were all big, burly creatures, Greg Barr the biggest and burliest of all as he sat at the head of the table. To his left was a man with hair that was not quite dark enough to be brown but not quite bright enough to be orange. His cobalt blue eyes studied his hand of cards intently. "That's my dad, Michael," Naomi announced, "and that is my Uncle Aaron." She gestured to the other man with dirty blond hair and muddy brown eyes. "Hello everyone, it's nice to meet you," I muttered nervously. Both Michael and Aaron grunted, not looking up from their cards. Tyler chuckled, running a hand through his messy locks. "As long as they're playin', ya might as well not exist." Thomas leaned back in his chair, imitating his brother's movement despite the several inches of difference between his hair and Tyler's. "Ma, can we go out?" he asked. I noticed all three of them had a slight accent. It made me smile, remembering what Kevin once said about his Irish roots. Rae nodded. "You be back in an hour."

"Kevin, you go with your cousins," Mrs. Barr added. "Can we go?" Ross asked. Chelsea chimed in, "Naomi can't go and I'm sure your mom will say no too. It's too cold, you'll get sick." Kevin tugged me along quietly, only stopping long enough to grab a coat. Naomi's and Ross' cries and protests followed us out the door. "I do not mean to sound rude, Kevin, but by what you said before, I expected many more people," I mumbled. He rubbed the back of his neck, kicking snow as we walked hand-in-hand. "There was 'posed to be, but there was an issue getting everyone together. Y'know, travelling issues and scheduling conflicts, all that," he replied. Tabitha let out a shrill laugh, startling me. "You don't hafta lie!" Thomas nodded in agreement. "Grandad's a drunk an' grandma couldn't be bothered to come out this year. She's too busy lookin' after him," he added. "Not to mention all the other famliy's too busy to spend time with us," Tyler finished. Kevin glared at them. "What? No point in lyin'. It's our family too, ya know," Thomas shrugged. "I thought your grandpa was inside?" I murmured in confusion. Tabitha giggled. "That's KEVIN's grandpa, not ours. That's Izzy and Maggie's dad. Uncle Greg, Uncle Michael, and Dad all have a bunch of other siblings that never come to Christmas-"

"Or Easter," Thomas added.

"Or Thanksgiving. The whole Barr side of the family is a barrel of bullshit," Tyler finished.

"Oh, Kevin," I sighed, squeezing his hand gently. "Pumpkin, you don't have to lie to me, and you don't have to be ashamed of anything." He smiled down at me, but it was quickly replaced with a frown. "Why do you call me Pumpkin anyway?" he suddenly asked. I blushed, staring down at my feet as we walked. "You'll think it's stupid," I murmured. "No I won't, I swear. C'mon, you don't have to lie to me or be ashamed of anything," he mimicked me. I rolled my eyes, still avoiding his gaze. "W-well," I stammered, "ever since we went on our first date, you've been saved in my phone as citrouille...which is French for pumpkin." It was his turn to blush as his cousins howled with laughter. "Awww, how adorable," Tyler teased. "No, adorkable!" Tabitha squealed. Kevin dropped my hand, bending down and scooping up a handful of snow. He packed it together tightly, hurling it right at his cousin's face.

Tabitha dived to the ground, dodging the snowball. Tyler scooped one up as well, pelting Kevin in the chest. "Oh, it's on, you Children-of-the-Corn fuckers!" Kevin yelled. The insult caused Thomas to pick up a snowball and hit him as well. True, his ammunition was seemingly endless, and he had great precision and a strong arm...but it was still three against one. Kevin was hit from all sides, falling dramatically into the snow. "Babe...it's too late for me...know that I love you," he wheezed as his cousins stood over him with evil grins. Smiling, I picked up a rather large scoop of snow, packing it together as tightly as I could, hurling it at Tyler's back. The triplets turned to me with fire in their eyes, each bending down to retrieve more snow. "Uh-oh. Edd, run!" Kevin yelled between bouts of laughter. I dodged their throws effortlessly, picking up snowball after snowball and pelting each of them in the face. Kevin sat up on the ground, staring in awe. "Kevin, ya jackass, are you just gonna let your cousins get hit?" Tabitha yelled. Kevin smirked, pushing himself off of the ground and charging toward me. I threw a snowball at him, trying to move away without turning around. If I turned my back to him, he would definitely catch me. I threw another one and another one, hitting his face, his neck, his chest. I hit anywhere that was open, but he still grabbed me and threw me down in the snow playfully, rolling in the soft, icy substance with me. "That's not fair," I pouted. "I helped you." He laughed, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. "Well, oh well." We stopped kissing to see his cousins looming over us, a snowball in each hand. Kevin covered me, ducking is head as they covered us with snow.

Small giggles were our saving grace as Ross and Naomi began hitting the triplets with piles of snow. Neither bothered making snowballs as they just dug their arms deep into the snow and just slung it all at them. They pretended to be hurt, falling back onto the ground. "Agh! We're defeated!" Tyler shouted. "You big dummies, leave Double D alone!" Naomi cried. We all burst into laughter at how serious she was. "Give us one good reason why we should," Thomas taunted. "It's dinner time," Ross said, taking her hand and guiding her back to the house. We all scrambled to our feet, shaking the snow off of us before following them inside. I laughed gleefully, brushing snow off of my head. Kevin's face was covered in snow and it made me laugh even harder. "What? What is it?" he asked. I kissed him before running my hands over his face, knocking snow onto the porch. "Oh, that explains why my face is numb," he chuckled. As we entered the warmth of the house, the snow melted instantly, leaving us sopping wet. "You children are all a mess!" Chelsea exclaimed, shaking her head with a slight smile. Rae left, returning a moment later with an armful of towels and handing them to us. We all sat at the table with towels around us, waiting eagerly to be served. Mrs. Barr handed the smaller children their plates first, then us, then the men, then herself and the women. Mr. Barr was the first to bow his head. We all followed suit, waiting for Mrs. Barr to sit at the table. "Dear Lord, we thank you for this bountiful meal my wife Isabel has provided for us, and ask that you bless this feast. We thank you for this opportunity to spend time with our loved ones, and we pray for the safety of our family that is unable to join us this year. We pray that our love and our bond with each other stay with us wherever we go in this world. In Your name we pray, amen." Echoes of "amen" followed before dishes were passed around and chatter filled the kitchen.

"So, Double D, tell us about yourself," Chelsea said. I stopped in the middle of taking a sip of water, setting my glass down and fidgeting with the ends of my sleeves. "W-well, what do you want to know?" I stammered. "What do you like to do?" Naomi shouted across the table. "I love to read. I have an especially strong love for science- well, just learning in general, really." Aaron looked up sharply. "You in any sports?" he asked. "I'm on the swim team," I answered. "He's only a sophomore, but he's the fastest on the team," Kevin cut in. The men nodded, seemingly content with the answer. "What's your favorite thing outside of sports and school work?" Tyler asked. "Stargazing," I responded without hesitation. "How long have you and Kevin been dating?" Maggie asked. "Let's see, we started dating right after the beginning of sophomore year, so...a little over four months now," I answered. His grandfather stayed silent the entire time, the same seafoam eyes as Izzy Barr's staring at me. It wasn't malicious, but it was still intimidating. He stared like there was a something he was trying to decipher. "So are you gay gay, or are you bi?" Tabitha inquired with a smirk. "Tabitha!" Rae, Mrs. Barr, and Kevin all shouted in unison, the three of them wearing matching glares. "No, it's quite alright," I chuckled. "I'm gay, Tabitha, completely homosexual. I've known I was since I was about thirteen." She nodded a little. "So, you've never dated a girl?" Thomas added incredulously. "I tried, but...there just wasn't any attraction," I said. "Tom has never dated at all. Tabby and I are pretty sure he's gay," Tyler stated plainly. Rae looked like she was about to choke on her own fork. I tried to cover my snicker with a cough while Kevin just outright laughed. "I think that's enough questions for Double D," Mrs. Barr intervened, an amused smirk playing at the corners of her mouth.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Kevin asked later that night. I let out a humorless laugh. "I'd rather you stay the night with me considering I get to return to an empty, lonely house," I blurted, my cheeks burning in embarrassment when I realized the words had fallen from my lips rather than remain in my head. He grinned, handing me my coat. "Stay right here, I'll be back," he whispered. He left me standing at the front door, shifting nervously from foot to foot. He ran to the kitchen, where I heard hushed murmurs, and someone catcalling before there was a soft thud. Kevin returned quickly, smiling even brighter. "C'mon," he said, throwing on his own coat and leading me out the door. "Kevin, what was all that about?" I queried. "Mom said I could stay with you tonight. At first, she said you could stay here, but there is literally no room," he explained. "You're really staying?!" I squawked, face ablaze. "Yeah," he answered with a shrug. "Wouldn't be the first time." I caught the devilish gleam in his eye as the full moon illuminated everything around me- including those damned hypnotizing emerald traps. My heart raced with excitement and nervousness. The last time Kevin and I spent the night together, it was none too innocent. I had a strong feeling that tonight would be no different.