Craig tryna help Tweek achieve his goals and Tweek tryna get more pets
--

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Become a doctor craig
Go to doctor school

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Medical school

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Same dif
————————-
Screen names:
Ready for my coffee break ☕️ - Tweek Tweak
Ready for takeoff 🚀 - Craig Tucker
—————————-

[Chat: Stripes Parents]

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
What if i just collapse and never wake up
Like i go into a coma cause my bodies not used to me not having coffee in my system 24/7
WHAT IF I EXPERIENCE WITHDRAWL

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Thats not gonna happen

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
WHAT IF I DIE
WHAT IF MY HEARTS SO USED TO RUNNING ON CAFFEINE THAT WITHOUT IT IT JUST STOPS BEATING AND I DIE

Ready for takeoff 🚀
What- your
no your not gonna die tweek

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
How do you know that
Are you a doctor
No
I dudnt think so
These are all very reasonable predictions of what could happen

Ready for takeoff 🚀
jesus...
Tweek your not gonna die from not drinking enough coffee
If you start to feel worse I'll drive to ur house with some from that weird new coffeeshop
but you should be fine

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Im feeling worse
Go get me a latte with some fun foam art stat
OO tell them to make it ibto a coffee cup
So id drink a coffee cup in a cup of coffee
Amayzing
Showstopping
I kniw i should be a billionaire by now with these smayzing ideas, really

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Tweek-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Shhhhh
Lets go get a coffee

Ready for takeoff 🚀
The day is almost over. We're so close if your up to holding out a little longer you'd finish your goal and feel so acomplished and shit.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
STOP TRYNA HELP ME AND GET ME COFFEE 😭😭
Pleaseeee
Pleaseeeeeeewe
CRAIG PLEASEEEEEEGSISEN
im ur boyfrind and u love me so u gotta 🥺🥺🥺

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Thats not how it works

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Yes it is
Im gonna die
Do you wanna kill ur boyfriend

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Your the one who told me to stop u if you tried to get more

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Shhhh dont listen to past tweek past tweek id dumb
Lets go get coffee
Coffee date

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Its.. so late-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Bbsjdjdj my hearts gonna slow down and im gonna die dude
DIE
My tombstone will read 'died from lack of coffee'
And then a little coffee cup man etched onto in
Cayse thats cute

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Tweek please-
Your over exaggerating

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Until u get a phd
Or a doctor depolma idk whst it is
You cant tell me what will and will not kill me 😠😠😠

Ready for takeoff 🚀
if i become a doctor you will listen to me.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Yes.

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..
Im..

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Become a doctor craig
Go to doctor school

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Medical school

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Same dif

Ready for takeoff 🚀
No..

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
👨‍⚕️
That could be you.

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Wtf.
Fine ill be a doctor 😒😒

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Yay 😊
Doctor craig
:0
Now i can be a stay at home dad
Cause ud bring in the big bank

Ready for takeoff 🚀
I-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Shh we both knew at one point or another one of us would become the stay at home parent and leech if the others paycheck
It was only the matter of who.
the astronaut wannabe..
or the coffee man..

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Ok..
Stay at home dad?? Who tf

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Id watch over of guinea pigs
Oo and cats
Babe we should get a cat 🥺

Ready for takeoff 🚀
No it would attack stripe-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Not if we train it

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Guinea pigs are rodents
Isn't it in like cats nature to hunt rodents-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Nah i dont think thats right-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
...

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
...
🐱
meow bitch

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Tweek-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Okok what about a dog 😶

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Why are we talking about future pets

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT
DOG YES OR NO

Ready for takeoff 🚀
no?

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
>:0

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Tweek dogs scare you- their barking freaks you out

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
ITS SO LOUD AND IT CATCHES ME OFF GAURD
BUT THERE SO FLUFFT 🥺🥺🥺

Ready for takeoff 🚀
ik they are
But... so is stripe
So- give him all ur pent up dog love
Cause he deserves it more.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
What about a snake-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Im not even gonna entertain the idea.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
What but their pretty

Ready for takeoff 🚀
...
First of all
Stripe will die

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Ur gonna choose stripe over my gappyness 🥺🥺
Happyness*

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Thats not how you-
Nvm
And yes. In a heart beat

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
I.
So loved 😒

Ready for takeoff 🚀
😐
❤️

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
💗
Ur hurtful words are forgiven
But what if u find you like the snake more than stipe-
Youd never know till u try- who knows maybe ur a snake kinda guy

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..
tweek.
babe.
sweetheart.
honey.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
..
Yes love of my life 😀

Ready for takeoff 🚀
if you ever suggest that again i will lead the underpants gnomes straight to your newly hidden underwear draw in a heartbeat.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
.
you wouldnt

Ready for takeoff 🚀
I would.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
u act like i wouldnt murder you in your sleep.

Ready for takeoff 🚀
.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
.
Anyways
About the snake

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..
u dont like snakes
U hate how they feel

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
WHY THEY SILKY AND SLIMY
SCALES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DRY AND ROUGH

Ready for takeoff 🚀
right.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
..
So no snaje
snak
snac
snace
.
snaje
FU
snake

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..
no
no snake

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Ok
Ferret

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..
Why

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Why not

Ready for takeoff 🚀
.. what about
An ant farm?
Its manageable
You know...

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
EW NO
WHY WOUKD SOMEONE KEEP ANTS IN A GLASS CONTAINER
THATS JUST ASKING FOR CHAOS
...
Thats not thesaying
It asking for a disasterx..
A disaster waiting to happen there it is-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
...
How-
Its in a glass

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Well for starters what if you knock it down
Glass shatters and you got ants everywhere
Or or
What if you accidentilly eat them

Ready for takeoff 🚀
What.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
You know like
Pour it in your drink

Ready for takeoff 🚀
No.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Or you take them out to play with them

Ready for takeoff 🚀
You..
The glass container is there for a reason
Its a look don't touch kinda thing
Like an art museum

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
It accidentally wonders onto your bagel
Your like oo a raisin and you eat it
And then boom protien, but not the type you thought

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Nutritious-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
..
Your
Your the type of guy who gets thoes lolipops and the myseum with the cockaroches in them and actually eats it.

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..
ok.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
.
would you.

Ready for takeoff 🚀
what

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
craig
would you ever eat one of those bug-pop things.

Ready for takeoff 🚀
no-
I-
No.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
..
good.
Now we know u wont eat bugs
So now we just gotta cut fruits outta our diet

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Im sorry
What-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Cause cause
Fruit flies

Ready for takeoff 🚀
What

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Okok
Look
So lokk
Fruit flies they come from fruit when u let them sit for too long right
Right
So that can only mean two things
One
The eggs are laid in all fruit and only hatch when u leave the fruit out for too long

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Gross

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Or two
They just spawn after a while
Like spiders in dark rooms in minecraft

Ready for takeoff 🚀
That possibility doesn't sound too bad-

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
So that means whenever we eat fruit were either
A. Eating fruit fly eggs

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Ew

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Or b.
Eating fruit that spawns fruitflies
And honestly if it creates bugs should we really be eating it??

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
In conclusion who needs fruits when u got crackers

Ready for takeoff 🚀
no.

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
yes yes

Ready for takeoff 🚀
I really don't think that's where fruit flies come from

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
O SO FIRST UR A DOCTOR AND NOW UR A ZOOOLOGIST
PICK ONE CARRER PATH SIR

Ready for takeoff 🚀
oh my god
Tweek please just go to bed

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Fine
Eat all the fruit fly eggs u want 😒

Ready for takeoff 🚀
I will.
Goodnight

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Night 😤
💚

Ready for takeoff 🚀
♥️
now sleep

*3 hours later*

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
.

Ready for takeoff 🚀
?

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Do u have any melatonin-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
No?

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Damn
..
U wanna go to the store with me 😀
I need some sleep drugs

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Not really-
Its 3 am..

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
But what if i get kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking to pay off some guys drug debt

Ready for takeoff 🚀
.
One sec

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
CRAIG
DONT LEAVE

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Ruby has some melatonin hidden in her room
Come to my house

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
At 3 in the morning

Ready for takeoff 🚀
U were just about to go to a store

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Yea but what if i wake ur family up and they hate me forever and im shunned and have to live my life as a hermit
Or i could still get swiped if the streets on the walk to ur house-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
In south park?
This towns crazy but i don't think we've reached child abduction yet
If anything we skipped over it

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Yea but still
Remember the ghost of human kindness-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
That guys still in jail

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
CRAIG
Just cause hes in jail doesn't mean there arent others like him out there still

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Arent ur parents still awake at this time?

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Yea-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
..
Ask them to drop u??
Or drive you to the store whichever you want
They don't have any perception of time-for some reason so it shouldn't seem too weird to them

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Maybe all the coffee they drink messed with their eternal clock
And then they never learned how to tell time

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Maybe

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
OH GOD WHAT IF THAT HAPPENS TO ME

Ready for takeoff 🚀
you know how to tell time

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
BARELY

Ready for takeoff 🚀
i doubt that will happen
But if it ever does i will tell u what time it is
ok?

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Ok

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Good now talk to ur parents

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
😭😭
But what if they go into another long story
They never go anywhere?!&4.&5,

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Ik
I can still come too u if you want dude
It fine

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
-
Nonoigot it
ill ho adk-

Ready for takeoff 🚀
👍

Ready for my coffee break ☕️
Okok uhh can u open ur front door in like 5 minutes

Ready for takeoff 🚀
Yup
—-

Imma stop it here

Why cause its uh almost midnight and im supposed to be asleep rn- gotta wake up early tomorrow 😭😭

Also the rest dont happen over text so like.. u know-chat fic

"Technically this whole thing was supposed to be with them actually talking together like next to each other (irl) but i changed a few things snd here we are"

Is this an actual conversation i had with myself outloud when trying to fall asleep... maybe- you'll never know.

Anyways uhhh if u want to know what happens after this with, u know, them idk just comment and ill probs write u short actual word chapter for it

And before u think just in case uhm no dirty dirty happens cause ew- no- (idk my brain said but what if they think smut be going down
Like hello? In MY dumb ass chat fic??? No)

..

Ok bye i cant feel my limbs and my eyes arent doing there jobs ✌️✌️

——
I have written a chapter of a continuation of this chapter but it's like words words and me, personally? I don't like when chatfic have random actual writing chapters, even if it's for plot purposes cause I'm just here for sillies 😭😭😭

But like if u wanna read that imma post it as a separate work soon and like probs link it or something

I'll figure it out later but ye