The time came for the best learner in all subjects to be chosen and I engraved my focus on this event. Almost made me forget the fact that I failed to find her and deep down was still looking for her.

The thing about failing is some act like it is an unfamiliar experience, but I didn't even realize trying to get up and walk as a baby and falling the whole time was a failing process that can only get better.

Deep down I had not given up hope yet, and it made me wonder if we define love in the finding but is an illusion once found.

Love is the only thing you can find and than only becomes a myth or an illusion, while all other treasures are myths until found and then become real.

All of the excitement of awaiting the results of who is the top student this year. Made me skip a few chess practice lessons, and Mr. Phillip Alexander called me to his office to ask if everything was okay with me and at home. I explained that becoming number one this year in my grade would mean a lot to me.

I had never approached it as if I was smarter than other kids.

In my circumstance, I needed to work harder than the average person to survive after school. It is a harsh world out there. My goal was simply to become number one in school, build my character, and be consistent so that I could continue working hard in the future.

My whole life already had loss inscribed all over it I was determined never to lose again.

My description of myself usually included introvert so that when you see me you know it's rare. The words, the actions, the facial expressions.

Something never seen before in mint condition.

Someone who hides from everything and opens up at the right time.

Being raised by my grandmother proved that it only takes one honest person to take care of you and share their idea of this world, and you can derive your version from there.

She is a robust woman but early on could see the cracks but only took what I needed to survive like she did all these years, even before I came along. She never spoke of her past or where she comes from, but she beat us up for not going to church, so I knew who taught her how to survive until this age. Life at home was a perfectly planned routine with no chance to think or question life. She was always right. I never heard her apologize to anyone, not even once.

We watched sports together, a bonding exercise. Her two favorites are tennis and cricket. There was no talking allowed while she watched and short celebrations were allowed only when she initiated the celebration. She never said I love you directly. She had an instinct to raise children in the correct way or in the best way possible with values.

I had been in the top 5 since I started high school, although I spent most of my time in the principal office in primary school because of taking care of or defending my cousins from school bullies. It is the year I will be number one and become president of the matric class next year, which is a big deal.

Finally, it was the week of results from exams, and the day on which the assembly on a Monday is the entire day for congratulating those who have worked hard this year.

It is the only time seating arrangements are different and you do not get to sit next to your best friends but get to sit next to the top five of every grade who have excelled in academics. Sitting in class awaiting the teacher to mention the name or names of the students that have made it to the top five was exciting probably because the teacher already told me I made it, with the names being called and the girls screaming after each name and the round of applause made my day and my week.

There were five different grade 11 classes and only two of us in my class were in the top five. During our lunch break, I asked the other students if they knew who got picked in their class for the top five to calculate if I was number one or not and I found out about four people, including me, who will be announced at tomorrow's assembly.

We spent the lunch break looking for the fifth person, but nobody knew who it was, so I went home wondering about someone who might not even be relevant. Looking at the other three, I was certain that I would be number one based on some test marks we received previously from our mathematics teacher. I was well on my way to receiving a prize for number one student and a bursary for my final year in high school.

As we walked home, my friends and I talked about what I could do with the prize money.

"I would save up the money until after I finish my matric year and buy a car to go to university with," Zaid said.

"No man, just buy yourself nice things. You deserve it," Vin responded.

"Both of you are right, but I was thinking, let us start a business together next year selling stuff in our last year," I said.

In agreement, we nodded and went our separate ways with the idea that becoming entrepreneurs would be beneficial for all of us since we had been friends since primary school.

 My grandma could see with a smile on my face that I had good news, so I told her I made the top five for my grade and that tomorrow I would find out if I got the prize that I had been working so hard for this year. I have managed my goal for the year of becoming number one in my grade and creating a better future for myself. I was twisting and turning while thinking of how I would walk onto the stage to receive my reward.

The day arrived, and my grandma washed my pants and gave me a clean shirt for the big day. I ran to school because it was one of those days when you did not need your books for a moment of freedom. My heart was beating fast at the idea of being number one. I was early and only some teachers were busy inside preparing the hall for the assembly and I offered to assist just to get things going and make the time move faster.

The person who raised me was proud of me and so were the teachers that knew how much I dedicated to this year.

We are finally sitting down; the principal is addressing us, along with a few other guests and parents. My parents will not be here. That is a fact that I will deal with as long as there is breath in me.

The principal starts with the lower grade and works his way up. I do not know why I am so nervous on a day when I should be more confident than ever. My friends are cheering for me from the back as I wait for my name to be called.

"Simon Anderson," says the principal, and I get up and go stand amongst the other learners. Such familiar faces, so I am not surprised I have met some of these students along the way and I can tell who is winning this year.

Wait for it!

A look at all the learners screaming and shouting.

Followed by an awkward silence as the principal says "Shareen Boughan." The principal voice gets louder as he announces her as the number one student for grade 11.

I looked around.

What?

Who?

Did I hear correctly?

The moment I looked at the students, their glary eyes told me where I should be looking.

As I turn to where the students are looking, here comes the person I have been searching for the girl I met in an unexpected place.

The person who has ignited something inside me and did not even know it yet.

Shareen Boughan!

Is everyone in here happy except me?

Am I not supposed to be the only one happy to see her again?

There it comes again, the rush of emotions, that feeling. My body is filling up with blood for the first time.

She came over and stood right beside me.

''Hey Simon, why do you look like you have seen a ghost? My detention session.''

''Hi Shareen, I am shocked that I lost. It meant a lot to me.''

''Come on! You didn't lose.''

''This is a defeat!'' She exclaimed.

''I am just kidding, relax.''

The principal called out the names of the top five students but also mentioned that based on the different subjects we have at the school.

There is a tie for first place. For students in their respective categories this year, Simon Anderson and Shareen Boughan.

Chapter 1 completed

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