the next morning I woke up with a jolt, I felt a presence again, open your eyes and I saw Aliar who was among my personal belongings:
tara" aliar, what are you doing here?
Aliar" you know, ( he said sitting in the first chair I find) I always wondered why every time you see me you always ask me what I do ? Ever a how are you aliar? How are you going aliar life? Where are your manners Anonymus ?
Tara" eh true maybe I tend to repeat, but you never answered the question"
aliar" well because there is no need mon amour, it is a secret "
tara" oh sure with you everything is a secret "
aliar" if not puppy where would be the beautiful ! Now let's move on to the things that really matter , why is he still here ?
Tara" as I said, it's none of your business "
I looked at aliar straight in his blue eyes like a clear lake, I didn't want him to find out things about James because knowing him he would try to do everything to make sure that he gets away from me, if he hasn't realized he's a very jealous person.
Since I could not move from bed I observed all the moves of Aliar inside the room, he went back and forth talking about things, but I didn't even want to listen to him because it was always the exact same script: he still loved me, he just wanted my good... I fell for it once.
Aliar kept getting closer to my bed, and again I couldn't stop him:
aliar" ... is so you know that I would never hurt you , you are the queen, you and I fight for the same generals , they are using us, inusciti me mon amour" said taking my hand and bringing it to his chest to make me feel his heart:+
Aliar" Listen Anonymus, do you hear your heart beating? It beats for you, it beats for no one else, and yours, too, I feel it, I feel it Anonymus we are sides of the same coin"
Tara," what would that have to do with you breaking into my hospital room?
Aliar" ahhh because you're being difficult  While the two of us have some unfinished business"

tara" si a lot, starting from the fact that you are alive despite I killed you"

aliar" no guinea fowl, we do not speak of that now and time passed, we talk about more recent issues"

tara" and what are they?

Aliar" your little friend whose name you won't tell me for example"

I turn his head towards James who at that moment was sleeping deeply in the chair next to my bed with his hand still near my blankets, which made me strange but not asking so many questions:

tara" he doesn't interest you"

aliar" and instead, after I heard what he yelled at the nurses before they brought you to the operating room "

I realized, James was screaming something when they took me away, but I never thought about it because after Aliar's visits I'm always full of questions that I hadn't made any case.

Maybe if I knew the words James had said I could connect all the dots: why did he save me? He had always been everything but kind to me, and he had made it quite clear that if he had decided whether to save me or lose a mission, he would have chosen the mission, but why did he?

Aliar" I know you're curious butterfly bup( I touch my nose as you do with small children , if I had not had one hand close to James and the other in the hands of Aliar I would have thrown a punch) you want to know what he said"

Tara," I hate to say, but I want to know"

aliar" okay puppy " 

flasback :
james" let me pass"
nurse" no sir, the patient is in serious condition we have to take her to the operating room immediately, can wait here"
I pushed the nurse, I had to go to Tara, I had to tell her the truth, or at least the one about my feelings for her, I had to tell her.
I tried to make my way as far as I could but later I pushed myself more nurses came to stop me from ensuring that he was fine :
James" I'll kill you! I'll kill you all if you even do evil"
nurse" Please calm down or we should call the police "
james" I am the police", I said indicating my identification badge
I couldn't let them hurt her, not with Aliar around ,or at least I think her name is; I heard Tara talking to him many times ; he doesn't seem like a nice guy.
I decided that perhaps it was better to sit and wait when I could see her; she could not hold back the tears : what if I had caused her serious harm? What if you'd just arrived a few minutes earlier? We wouldn't be here.
A few minutes before the accident:
Philip " James, why did you come here ? Again?
James" I need to talk to you, about tare "
philip" what do you want? Move that here we have many things to charge for the mission"
James" I want you to assign me to his protection"
philip" what? You know I can't do that ,if you don't want to leave her here I can bench you"
James" I'm fine with "
philip" why do you want to stay with her so long? you hate her, you specifically told me several times"
James" Phil, I can talk to you privately," I said, taking Phil and leading him to a more secluded place where no one ,or at least Iris,
Philip" Okay, what do you want to talk to me about? What's the fact that you've been so distracted by your life that you're even afraid of your girlfriend?
James," well, since a lot happened to Tara, did you bench me?
Philip " correct, I can't send you on a mission if there was not a phartner and what would this center?

James" Listen to me well, it does center: since I had so much free time, I tried to spend it with Tara, more than anything else percercsre to get along at least , since if I come to do another complain I force me to forced office work"

Philip " That's right, but I haven't seen you two together much "

James" I tried, but I couldn't do much that "

Philip" and then you could get to the juice? I have the plane taking off soon for Mozambique"

James" yes, excuse me in the sense that in this period I tried to be more in contact with her and I saw that it was not like me I had imagined; is a wonderful person " without me noticing my facial muscles I counter in a small smile

Philip" Okay, James, let's get this over with and tell me you fell in love with Tara so I can leave."

James" I mean, but it's not like you think he's amazing, nice, sweet..." And again without knowing, I found myself making a list of her fucking assets, how talented she was.

Philip," you're in love with her, and you don't even know yourself because first you have to understand how you feel about your Iris girlfriend."

James" You fucking know me"

Philp " Yes, and now if you'll excuse me, I have hostages to rescue."

I watched Philip go to the plane, and I watched him take off, when suddenly DARK.

I woke up with a jolt : feel tara yelling at someone; I thought that the others of the team had finally arrived and instead it was Aliar; do not understand well the reason for their " conversation" but I think it concerns me , I tried to pretend to sleep to study their situation; Tara was clearly annoyed by all the words that came out of Aliar's mouth, she must have hated him deeply:
slowly the conversation became more and more intense, I was afraid that he could hurt her; I was almost ready to intervene to save her but Tara knew how to fend for herself and send him away; I saw a scene that never resign: Aliar kissing Tara or Anonymus as he calls it, a rather strange nickname .
As soon as Alir left the doctor; I was super anxious about the outcome of his tests: what if something happened to her legs?
I decided to wake up, I was so anxious, I had too many worries, maybe it was nothing, I was hoping with all my heart.
I sat next to tara; and without noticing it I laid a hand on her bed , not near her but almost; as soon as the doctor prone the sentence I feel like suffocating; if I had arrived only a minute before nothing of this would have happened , it was all my fault, it was all my fault , tears came down like a river in flood, I couldn't control you "fucking controlled! She stares at you," I said over and over, but it was like my body didn't care.
You feel something on my hand, tara had put her hand on mine; I tried to give myself some restraint; but I couldn't the sadness had taken over by now; once the doctor had left I was almost afraid to stay in the same room with her, would have hated me for sure; if I had only arrived a minute before , just a fucking minute before, now she wouldn't be paralyzed.
I saw Tara looking at me, but I didn't have the courage to look at her, but I tried anyway ; how fucking beautiful she was, how As I imagined, she asked me why I had saved her, and because I had become super nice to her, I wanted to tell her the truth that in these months I realized what a fantastic person was the best person I'd ever met and that I thought I had feelings for her, but I could certainly tell her everything except this; after our pasts, after what I said about her.

And who knows what Iris thought if she saw me in here, I certainly couldn't tell her anything about it, otherwise she would take me for a fool. I told him that she was Phartner and that I had to save her, but I knew that was not the truth. I tried to beat around the bush but I didn't accept the truth that I proposed, I tried to tell her the truth when I accidentally entered the team, they asked for the results, and I couldn't help but expose them, bringing up again my guilt.

Despite this we spent the other 3 hours very pleasant, until we went back to being just me and her.

Aliar" and so puppy and pretty much what happened"

tara" and imposssibile, you are mistaken surely" I said turning my head to James, was it true? Was it really so? But how did Aliar know?

Aliar" no farlallina I was there all the time" he said approaching me that our lips almost touched

tara" of what you're talking about, madness"

aliar"uhhhh, that hurts me"

he was a fool, but I couldn't overlook everything he told me was all true? Was that the truth?