That couldn't be true, could it? I was shocked by the words of Aliar, I kept looking at James asleep in the chair , at that moment I replayed our hands, they had never detached even when the other members of the team had entered, I realized that James had not seen him go on a mission at all since my first time, I had seen him many times at headquarters, I thought he had time off or something, no he had refused to go on a mission just to make sure I was safe. Maybe it wasn't what I imagined, maybe it was just a stupid coincidence; I hoped with all my heart that it wasn't true, I denied all the points that connected together gave me a clear vision of the whole:
tara"you must be crazy aliar"
aliar" oh love, I've never been healthy", he said, still drawing his face closer to mine.
Tara" fuck you, aliar "
Aliar" Oh love, you're in danger, look, I'm not going to tell you" he said, bringing his face closer and closer to mine, and almost climbing over my bed, bringing his body closer to mine.
Tara" aliar what are you doing?
Aliar" simple, I'm helping you " I saw that you get on my bed lying his body on mine, making our distance almost nothing, I wanted to push him away, I could not ; he had anticipated my moves.
Tara" helping to do what? I wasn't mimicking what he was up to, but one of you was telling me to run away,
aliar" tell me, guinea fowl, tell me one good thing about me"
tara" are you crazy?
Aliar" come on wife, this me ,o you have already said" he said, clutching his body with mine.
I honestly never understood if Aliar was serious or not because every time we had an interaction it ended up being sexual or almost. I saw Aliar's face getting closer and closer to mine, his body merging more and more with mine :
aliar" tell me, tell me one good thing about me ahead puppy"

Tara" you're an opsicopathic," I said hoping to offend him so much in his pride that he would be offended so much that he would take off. But I was wrong indeed, he came even closer:

Aliar" ahhh, so offend me! I'll give you another chance," he said, showing his index finger in front of my face to indicate number one, which he then dropped on my arm.

Tara" you are an opsicopathic, maniac, who has an unhealthy obsession for me"

Aliar" exactly" made a smile that made me freeze the blood in my veins, "You know me very well" I continued to exhume my body with his finger , I noticed that his legs joined with mine even more; I saw that he was getting closer and closer to my face, again and again,slowly our two bodies were once again merging into one.

Tara" aliar, I ask you for the last time, what are you going to do?

Aliar "simple my love" approaches my ear to whisper " I want to recreate that evening, it was so magical" it was a mistake to sleep with him again, but I was in a stalemate as I am now. Look back at James still sleeping blissfully in the chair , I hoped with all my heart that he would wake up and make a scene, or that he would hunt aliar , that he would do what I now had no more power to do thanks to James:

Tara, "I know I've never been able to extort aliar information from you, but do you think it's best to have sex with her now that I'm paralyzed?
Aliar" oh love, of course you ; I want you, I want you , you do not know how long " was obviously crazy , I'm sure that somewhere hides a picture of me like any maniac. I don't know if it is noticed but I think it is , every time I try to have a very minimal interaction with aliar we always end up in two ways : either it hurts me or we have sex. I got tired of this kinky clique:
Tara" Aliar, I will say it only once, so listen to me well: go away, get out of this hospital, if not you know that I will be forced to use you know what"
aliar" sure? The last time I remember it went smoothly, come on let's have sex and let's get it over with , I know you want all this too" I raise his torso to show me his chest well sculpted, and I only realized that once again he did not have the shirt; typical.
It was my chance, I even tried to touch James's arm to wake him up, but I was as deluded as ever ; aliar knew what I was going to do and came upon me with such strength that you feel me sinking even more in bed, I grab my neck and tightened, tightened even more :
tara" aliar, please you also know that I do not want to do it" I looked him straight in the eyes, seriously I did not want to do what I was going to do , had always been my "lifeline" but all the time leaving behind me always massacres of the dead. It brought me misfortune, I'm talking about my powers; since I remember I have always estranged from everyone, because I was immediately labeled "strange" "crazy" and in this aliar he understood me very well in this, I begged him, if he would not let me go I was forced to use them , I hated myself just for the fact that I was born with them. Aliar I continue to tighten my neck and from there despite all my warnings I was forced to let them go: you feel a rush of energy that my body, from the gaze of aliar, my pupils had changed color, And that sings out that I couldn't go on any longer: you feel the energy that through the whole shot until I got to my fingertips, I tried to aim at a point where I could hurt aliar. The shot went off, threw Aliar against the wall of the room, which was a good thing because it meant that I had taken him out of the way, but I saw how they got up that he was angry, and so much:

aliar" this you did not have to do princess"

tara" I warned you, you filthy bastard"

aliar" oh so offend me!

Tara" go away "

aliar" all right," he said, coming quickly towards me and stopping once again at a minimum distance from my mouth" but know that I will return love, I always come back"

and disappeared into nothingness, many times I wonder if his apparitions are true or only fruit of my imamginazione. I threw a sigh of relief:
James" Tara, can you explain what that was?
Fuck James! I was completely gripped by the anger that I had completely forgotten about the existence of James, and adesos what I explained to him? I had to tell him the truth about me too ? what should I do? And aliar? Was he really gone, or was it all his little game and spying on me right now? Too many questions were spinning in my head at the same time, because something like this had to happen to me right now? I turned my head towards James hoping that the words would come from him, but he couldn't pronounce any of them, and I saw James getting more and more worried:
james" tara? tara please something? tara? tara!
I really wanted to put myself there and explain everything to him, without neglecting every detail to tell him my story, my true story.
Tara "I... James... forgive me" was all you could say
I was ashamed of myself, I could tell him a lot of things, even banal , invent strange stories to explain my powers, I could say that it was not as he had imagined, deny everything... but instead I came out only those words, how could I be so amazed
James" tara? Sorry maybe I pressed you, sorry, maybe you don't want me here? Ah how stupid I was! Wait, I'll get my things and go to the waiting room," he said, getting up, I didn't want James to leave, I grabbed his wrist:
Tara" Instead I want you here James, stay, please" I looked James straight in the eyes, I wanted him to stay here, vermante ; so we could finally clarify many things.
I spent the next hour trying to find a way to formulate the necessary questions  about 

his crush.

Tara "Can I ask you a question?"

james" sure, ask me anything"

Tara" You like someone on the team, I mean besides Iris"

james" tara, but what are you saying , you know that me and iris are engaged"

Tara, "Don't lie, I can tell by how nervous you two are that things aren't all pink and flowery," I saw James shaking, I was tapping the right buttons.

James" tara, please these are not your concern"

tara" then why didn't you answer iris?

James " Listen , I don't have to tell you anything."

Tara" yes, yes you are "
James" What makes you think that?
Tara" ah let's see, maybe the fact that despite you mentioned several times the fact that you would have let me die without even thinking about it twice , SAVE ME ! By rushing me to the hospital and yelling at the doctors that you would kill them if they would just hurt me," I fucking said too much. Now how did I explain it to James? We both remained silent for a while; it was a very awkward thing, but then I managed to create a deep tension; someone had to say something : quickly.
James " How do you know?
Tara" what ?
James" How do you know what I said?
Tara" I don't know, intuition ? Look, I was there then "
james" impossbile, you were half dead I had to do something, I could not let you die like all the others who are already dead"
tara" but if you said...
James" I don't care what I said!
Tara" Okay, calm down"
James" No, no tara I can't, not since...
tara " since when ?
James" since " stopped for a moment to think, I was afraid to know what would come out after " since I fell in love with you!" I was hoping everything he said was a fake, a stupid lie.
James" since I realized you're not so bad "
tara" so bad in what way excuse?
James" as soon as I was assigned to you, I thought I was just another geek, who thinks he's superior to others" which was partly true, but I'll let him continue." But when Phil benched me, I really started going to headquarters, talking to people, and I could see what kind of person you are," he was spying on me.
Tara" James, but we've only crossed paths once" 

James" I know, and I might even seem stupid for this "

Tara" James really, I'm using all my neurons to figure out the words that are coming out of your mouth, but every one of them is telling me only one thing : they are coming out in mass. So get to the point."

James" the fact that I'm trying to tell you something that might make me dig my grave right now."

tara" oh no! Don't tell me that by chance Iris threatened you if only she saw you in a room with me she would leave you ? Oh I pray you "I saw James that slowly was hanging like a withered rose, I had made the center ; or at least I was very close to the much loved truth.

James" you never give up, do you?

Tara" but what are you saying? You changed the subject in no time. Look, let's make it clear that I can't play your petty games that I don't know if it's to tease me or not. But in my period of " convalescence" we crossed very much yes, now I remember , but it was always and only in the library because I was completely taken by a personal matter. So I would ask for the poor mercy of my last surviving neruone to come straight to the point"

james" ah, here's the thing"

James kiss me, what Aliar had said was true, it was all true I couldn't believe it ; but what was happening ? Why was I doing it again?

. 

.